Empty Streets

by Jessica Cotter

"I watched you for a while, seeing subtle changes in your persona, and when I saw you outside, my hunch was confirmed. For you anyways. I hope you understand, I wasn't trying to stalk you, I just had a hunch and needed to see for sure…" He trailed off, looking at the floor, his cheeks getting a little pink.

  "Bodhi, it's fine. What else?"

  He cleared his throat. "Over the years, there have been people I ran into outside, the ones I mentioned before, but there have actually been more who've been outside that I didn't know about. When I needed to know what was happening with you and your house, my mom could tell me some stuff. But when I need to know what is happening outside of our bubble, I find Ben.

  "As a truck driver, Ben moves goods from the farms and warehouses outside the city. He speaks to almost no one, but listens constantly. He moves food from the country to the city and then north to the suburbs. He gets more puzzle pieces than any one person should have access to."

  "How did you happen to talk to Ben?" Eri interrupted.

  "I had seen Ben dropping food off to the townhouses once, when I was with Zare. Ben looked directly at us, seeing our eyes through the thick grass, and then he 'dropped' a loaf of bread, looking at us again before driving away. He just knew we were there, and the bread was his peace offering. We were just kids. He told me later that he missed kids more than he could ever say, that teaching had been an amazing profession once, one that had fulfilled him and made him happy. He said when he saw us and our curious eyes, it reminded him for a second of who he had been.

  "I don't know how, but Zare made friends with him, traveling to the outskirts of town to talk to him. They would meet in the evenings to talk, Ben telling Zare about how things used to be. Then Zare disappeared…so I have traveled out there, but it is really difficult and there is more and more security all the time. Ben thinks that before long, they'll shut down the city, creating locked gates to keep us in permanently."

  Bodhi stopped long enough to take a breath and rub his tired eyes. Eri's mind spun with information, trying to link everything together.

  "You haven't slept," Eri stated matter-of-factly.

  "Nope. Would you have?" Bodhi countered.

  She shook her head. "So, what does Ben have to do with us? With all of this?"

  Bodhi shrugged. "I have these people in my head: Zare, my mom, Ben, you…and I feel like everyone has something to contribute to our…goal…or mission, I guess. I just can't figure it out. But Ben knows everything, how we transitioned to the Sims machines, how it changed the way our community ran, how we lost the desire for real human relationships. It makes him sad, but he's oddly hopeful we can change it all. I don't even know what he means by that. But, for now, we can use his house for a hideout." Bodhi grinned at her.

  "I guess everyone needs a hideout. I think we both have a desire to change a lot about this world we live in, but, yeah, it is pretty overwhelming. It would almost be easier to just start over. Did you, um, find out anything about Taya?" Eri rubbed her thumb over the top of Bodhi's calloused hand.

  Bodhi shook his head. "There isn't anything in the system. Has she been back in class?"

  "No," Eri replied. A heavy silence hung on her, laced with guilt. "I feel like I should be doing something, for Taya, for Ezra. Something. But how do we start if we don't know where we're going?"

  "That's the other thing. We only have a couple more weeks before the snow will come, and then we'll be stuck inside. Going outside in the winter is almost impossible. If there's snow, it will be easy to track us. And I highly doubt you have winter boots and a coat." He smiled at her from under his eyelashes.

  "So you don't go outside in the winter?" A sinking feeling descended into the pit of her stomach-how long and lonely the winter might be.

  "It depends. If it gets really cold, the snow freezes and then they can't see tracks. Or if there is a thaw and I can stay on the roads, I might go out, but it's difficult to do any information gathering. I certainly couldn't get to Ben." He leaned his head on one hand, resting his elbow on his knee. Dark smudges lounged under his tired eyes.

  "What do you do when you're information gathering?" she asked.

  "I thought you might ask about that." He stood up, grabbing a large piece of paper, setting it on the floor between them. The paper was yellowed, but thick and strong, covered with grey lines. She curiously touched a line and it blurred under her finger. Bodhi laughed.

  "Have you never seen a pencil?" He tilted his head at her with curiosity.

  "I know what a pencil is, in the Sims world. I didn't know it smeared like that. Or looked fuzzy around the edges." She was so interested in the pencil's texture that she didn't notice the drawing itself. Finally, her vision panned out and she saw that it was a map.

  "It's a map of the city. Here is my town house, and the factories, and the lake." She looked up at him in awe. "Did you draw this?"

  "Yes. See these X marks? These are hiding spots you need to know about. They're places where you can get away from the heat seekers the street cleaners and the helicopters use. These roads, lined in dark, are the best ones to travel by if you need access to safe zones. You should memorize this map as soon as you can. Starting tomorrow night, for the next seven nights, I want to go to different spots and I want you to meet me there."

  She sucked in a sharp breath. "In the dark? How will I know where to go?"

  "You will never learn how to get anywhere if I'm helping you. If I can do it, you can do it. You're small, fast, and hiding seems to come very naturally to you." He smiled. "If we get separated, you need to know how to get home. And… if anything ever happens to me, you need to know where these spots are," he pointed to areas circled on the map. "These are spots where I keep a paper copy of names of people I think are…like us. As well as names of people I suspect are orchestrating and maintaining the system we currently operate under. It is also where I keep notes, a brief history kind of, of the Sims and the laws regarding our freedoms and all that…kind of like a research brief. I will get to all of it at some point, with you, but for now, you need to know where it all is."

  "Bodhi, there are seven circles on this map. You have that much information spread out over the city?" She looked at him incredulously.

  "Yeah…there is a lot to know. We get such fragmented information at school, and I have to ask questions as cryptically as I can when I talk to my mom and Ben, so it is hard to figure out what part of everything is intentional and what part just happened. I don't know how to change things that just happened naturally, but I think we might have a chance against manufactured changes." He looked at the map as he spoke, thinking through the information he had in each location.

  "You're like a friggin' database. Can we go back to this whole winter thing? You're saying I might not see the real you all winter? That makes me feel nauseous." Eri wrinkled her nose.

  "Right," he sighed. "So our date the other night? You picked up on my very visible Sims-style interest in you. I realized I might not get to see you much this winter and we might as well start dating on the Sims because there is no way I'm going to be able to fake the "just friends" thing for the next four or five months. Also, I was thinking about, you know, after the Achievement Exam. What will happen to both of us?" He looked at her levelly.

  She looked down at the map again, this time feeling blindsided by her naivety. Of course, next year. "You mean after the spring achievement test, when we can put in for married housing. You interested in going into the pool?"

  He nodded. Eri wasn't sure how the marriage pool worked, but knew that she had a year after the achievement test to live with her parents before she had to put in for married housing or single housing. She could apply for married housing anytime down the road, if she met someone at work or elsewhere.

  She cleared her throat. "I mean, I wasn't sure…we attend the same Sims sessions but you might, technically, be a different class than me, and if you are going to go to college, um, I am not going, so I don't know if they would let us, I mean, if th
at is what you are getting at." Eri ended abruptly, her face turning red.

  "Wait…what? You aren't going to college?" Bodhi looked confused. "You're, like, one of the smartest people I've ever met."

  Eri snorted. "Um, well… going to a real college is expensive and my parents can't afford to buy the extra software for me to attend Sims classes after high school. I just planned on getting placed." Eri shrugged.

  Bodhi shook his head. "No, it doesn't work like that. If you score high enough on the Achievement Exam, you go to college."

  She smiled at his optimism. "If you say so. I just have a feeling that no matter how well I do, I won't be going to college."

  Silence hung in the air between them. Bodhi turned over the thought of a rigged college access system while Eri contemplated the very real possibility that they may not see each other again after graduation, even if they put in for the marriage pool together.

  "Yes," Bodhi said in the silence.

  "Yes what?" Eri focused on studying the map, rather than perseverating on an unknown future. She was trying to determine the best route between certain locations in order to memorize those first. He had identified every camera and sound surveillance in the city. This must have taken him forever, she thought.

  "Yes, we should apply for married housing after the Achievement Exam." Bodhi didn't make eye contact with her.

  "Well, you don't have to seem so excited about it. Living with me isn't that great." Eri rolled her eyes at his generally calm exterior. He always looked as if he was calculating and rationalizing; even his emotions seemed careful.

  "I just…I don't want to think about it too much. Jinx it." Bodhi blushed as he shrugged.

  He moved to her side of the map, crouching next to her so they could both see it. "See this spot? This is an important one. There is a path here that leads this way, west, to the lake. You have to be careful as you move west, though, the lake is really guarded for some reason. There are people there all the time." He stopped talking and stared into space. "But it is worth it, sometimes, to see the lake, especially if the moon is out. The lake stretches on and on like glass in the moonlight…" His voice tapered off and she could tell he was in his own world, remembering the smell of the water and the sound of the waves.

  He shook his head, and started talking about the map again. Eri stopped listening, instead watching the smoothness of his jaw as he talked, the perfect evenness of his white teeth, the small dimple in his chin. His hair was short, but thick and defined as it curled slightly at the edges. It was darker than hers, with a different texture, one that made her want to touch it. Forgetting what they were doing, she reached out and touched his hair, thinking about how natural it was to touch someone, to talk with someone, to share space and energy with another human being, but how their current existence robbed them of this simplicity.

  He stopped talking and looked at her as she touched his hair, watching her watch him. His neck tingled where she had touched his hair, drawing her finger across his skin, straightening one of the curling pieces. A peculiar electricity gathered, a tension he hadn't felt between the two of them before, a pressure that was strong. She brought her eyes to his, staring at him for a long moment, absorbing the energy. She could finally breathe for the first time in four days.

  "I love you," she said. The kerosene lamp, lit barely enough to illuminate the map, flickered briefly, shadowing his face as she spoke.

  Still crouching next to her, he turned and put a hand on her back, leaning her backwards until she lay next to him. With his other hand, he pushed the map away, focusing on her face. Drawing himself up on his elbows next to her, he leaned down and kissed her, softly at first, and then with a pressing urgency that she understood. Neither of them was guaranteed another minute together, another minute of this freedom they had stolen.

  Eri pulled Bodhi's shirt up slightly, running her fingers along his lower back, feeling the smooth movement of his muscles. He tensed at her touch, turning slightly to pull her onto her side. Her shirt lifted slightly, his hands moving lightly along her back and stomach, exploring the shape of her torso and hips, pulling her towards him. She felt heat from his skin to hers, and its unfamiliarity made her shiver. She pressed into him, wanting to be as close to him as possible, until he stopped kissing her, out of breath. He rolled onto his back, holding her tightly to his chest.

  "I'd do anything to know I could be with you forever," he said. She could hear his voice hitch, a betrayal to his general air of confidence.

  "We will find a way. Other people do it all the time," she whispered, her head on his chest, lost in the hard beating of his heart.

  "Nothing like this comes without a price," he murmured. "You make me happier than I think people are allowed to be here."

  She lifted her head and looked at him. His eyes were shut, his body growing more relaxed. She lay next to him until she could hear the evenness of his sleeping breath, and then she slowly sat up to study the map in the limited light. It seems that fear and greed so easily change the world, she thought. Could it be so hard to change it with love?

  Chapter 15

  A real education

  Eri tried to slow her breathing by listening to her heart pound in her ears. The full moon reflected off of every ex-posed surface, a spotlight from the heavens. She hid, like a rabbit in a hole.

  In the last week, she had mastered a ropeless, silent descent from her window, and had found a way to slither along the building crouched so low to the ground she couldn't be seen above the grass. She could snake through the streets and alleys, moving gracefully from one patch of crumbling concrete to another. Alone, she sprinted smoothly, feeling the cool wind in her hair and on the tips of her ears and nose; exhilarated, she would feel the muscles in her legs burn with joy. Her body was awake.

  She peered through a crack, straining her eyes to see a car parked in the distance. A street cleaner had been frequenting this area lately, stopping at one of the apartments briefly before stopping to sit in the street and stare for thirty minutes. Eri had learned his routine, leaving her house closer to eleven-thirty than midnight in order to avoid detection. Tonight, he had come a few minutes early, and she had barely made it across the street into a crevice between two buildings before he arrived.

  The heat seeker worked like a camera, with a lens that projected forward from the vehicle. It had a slightly wider periphery than the windshield. The street cleaner didn't need to tell the seeker to look for heat; it always did. She knew if she went in front of the car, or even too close to the front, it would pick her up and sound an alarm. Unfortunately, it was parked in such a way that she was trapped until he left.

  She closed her eyes, imagining the map she had been amending since Bodhi had first given it to her a week ago. She had starred locations she thought would be useful or interesting to explore and she had noted the way the rain water ran when it rained for covering tracks. She had circled areas to avoid if the moon was full. She wished for clouds.

  Eri saw movement out of the corner of her eye and jerked back, pressing her body between the buildings in such a way as to put concrete between her and the car. After several moments, she peered around the corner at the car again. A tall, blonde man had gotten out of the car and was leaning against the driver's side door, smoking a cigarette. She squinted in his direction, trying to make out what he looked like. His tall, strong frame sauntered to the back of the car. He rummaged in the trunk carelessly before slamming the trunk shut. Eri jerked at the sound. He took a long drag of the cigarette, pushing his hair back from his face.

  That movement, a mannerism done out of habit, triggered Eri's memory. As she stared, her heart beat harder. Could Zander be out here? A street cleaner?

  The man finished his cigarette and hummed a haunting tune that made Eri shiver. His eyes panned the street around him. She heard him mutter to himself, almost positive she heard her name. A low chuckle echoed through the street before she heard a car door slam shut. She fought back the urge to
throw up from fear, squirming back farther and farther until her body was stuck in a small damp angle between two buildings. The only way the heat seeker could see her is if he pulled the car straight in front of the crevice. She saw lights sweep the crevice slowly and held her breath. Then she heard the crunch of tires on gravel as the car drove away.

  She had learned to move through the streets quickly. She must now learn to do it with less arrogance. She was not invincible, and based on her physical response to the street cleaner, her gut was plenty aware of her vulnerability.

  When she finally reached Ben's house, she was more exhausted than usual. She had felt the week to be very successful, as she had found her way to each designated location alone and without incident. They had spent each night talking through Bodhi's thoughts regarding different people in positions of power, both politically and economically, to determine what the greatest force was that maintained the status quo. He also had quite a list of people that he suspected were disenchanted with the limited options of their social structures, names he had documented from their cohort over the years. He also had a list he had gotten from Zare and Ben of people they would consider "allies."

  "But we aren't really talking about war, we are just talking about awareness and change…Do we need allies?" Eri had asked.

  "Eri, I am not sure what people have warred about if not awareness or change." Bodhi had looked at her questioningly. She hadn't had an answer.

  Now, sneaking into the vent, she found herself still uncertain if the information they had covered this week warranted an all-out war or just a campaign to fight for rights or options. Maybe the real issue wasn't the haves and have-nots, but those who knew stuff and those who didn't. Or those who cared and those who were happy with the status quo. She just wasn't sure.

  She burst through the other end of the vent and barely had time to get up on her feet before Bodhi appeared out of a dark corner and tackled her with a ferocious hug.

  "Jeez, it hasn't been that long since you saw me!" Eri laughed as they fell off balance and toppled onto a couch.