Evermore

by C. J. Archer

  “Only when you’re ready.” She nudged me, an impish smile on her face. It wasn’t at all like a mother should behave, but very much as an older sister would. I wondered if I could ever think of Celia as a daughter ought.

  “So you’re going to leave?” I asked her.

  “I don’t know.” Her smile faded. Her fingers twisted in her lap. “We’ve talked it through, Louis and I, but I need time to think about it.”

  “So you care for him still?”

  “I never stopped.”

  Well, she’d hidden her feelings well. I thought she hated him.

  “I need to see you settled first,” she said.

  Settled with Jacob. “It’s late,” I said. “I want to see Jacob.” I began to rise but Celia’s firm hand on my arm stopped me. “Emily.” She glanced past me to Louis.

  I swiveled to face him. “What is it?”

  Louis patted my hand but I could see something troubled him too. “Now that it’s all over, and their lives are returning to normal, there’s a chance you may not be welcome at the Beaufort household.”

  “But…why?”

  “Jacob is nobility,” Celia said. “Goodness, they don’t even want their daughter to wed your friend Culvert and he’s rich and comes from good stock. They’ll want a grand match for Jacob, not…”

  “Not a girl like me,” I finished for her. Melancholy swept over me, and fierce longing too. Everything inside me ached. I had to see Jacob and hear from his own lips what he wanted. If I had to fight for him, I would.

  ***

  I did not see Jacob upon arriving at his Belgrave Square house. We were shown into the drawing room by Polson and greeted by Mrs. Stanley and George.

  “Emily!” George went to hug me but recalled his manners at the last moment and kissed the back of my hand instead. “I’ve just got here myself. Mrs. Stanley too.”

  She sat very still on a chair, her reticule in her lap, her dark gaze returning mine with defiance. “I have come for my payment,” she said with a thrust of her long chin.

  “Payment?”

  “Yes,” George whispered. “You recall what it was.”

  I went cold. I remembered. She wanted one of us to kill her. “I…I don’t think…Mrs. Stanley, it’s all over now. Please, do not ask us to follow through on the promise we made under such desperate circumstances.”

  “None of us wishes you the fate you wish upon yourself,” Celia added.

  “You promised!” She growled and bared her teeth, and all of a sudden she went from mild, middle-aged woman to a snapping, wild beast. “You said you understood.” This she said to me. “You, of all people, should understand. I don’t want to be here. Not without him.”

  “What does she mean, you should understand?” Celia asked me.

  “Nothing,” I mumbled.

  “Tell them how it felt up there when you delivered the curse,” Mrs. Stanley sneered. “Tell them how you wanted to stay with him, dead, and not come back here.”

  “But…” Celia dragged on my shoulder, spinning me round to face her. But I could not look her in the eyes. “You came back. She came back,” she said to Mrs. Stanley.

  “I said she wanted to stay there, not that she did or could.”

  “Emily…”

  “Don’t, Celia. It’s over. What’s important is the next chapter of our lives.” I didn’t want to tell her I’d wanted to die. She wouldn’t understand.

  “You are with your loved one, Miss Chambers.” Mrs. Stanley said, approaching me. “Now it’s my turn to be with mine.” She opened her reticule and pulled out a small pistol. “Take it. Aim true.” She thrust it into my hand. When I hesitated, she added, “If you don’t, I will put another curse on you.”

  Celia pulled me closer, half shielding me. “That’s enough,” Louis said. “Leave my daughter alone.”

  Mrs. Stanley’s lip curled into a snarl. “Go from this world.” She pointed a bony finger at me. “Go free, spirit, and leave this earthly body.”

  My skin tingled. My insides felt as if they were unraveling. “Something’s happening! She’s cursing me.”

  “Stop!” Jacob shouted from the doorway.

  “I set you free, oh spirit, never to return.”

  My head throbbed. The room spun out of control. My legs gave way and I crumpled like a ragdoll.

  Someone caught me before I hit the floor. The pistol was removed from my hand.

  The noise level suddenly rose, piercing me behind the eyes. Everyone was shouting at once, making it impossible to distinguish words. All except Mrs. Stanley’s high-pitched, crazed, “Be gone—”

  The gunshot punched a hole through the wall of noise. The following silence was almost as deafening.

  Mrs. Stanley lay on the floor, blood seeping out of a bullet wound in her chest. It was the same manner in which Price had died.

  “Is she all right?” That was Celia and I suspected she was asking after my health, not Mrs. Stanley’s who was clearly dead.

  Mrs. Stanley’s spirit rose out of her body and hovered nearby. “Thank you.” She said it to Jacob, not me, and I realized he was holding the pistol. He’d shot her. Mrs. Stanley nodded once then vanished.

  Celia knelt in front of me, flapping her hand at my face. “Emily, can you hear me?”

  “Y, yes.” I sat up. Jacob pushed the hair from my face and kissed each of my eyelids tenderly.

  “What in blazes was that?” Lord Preston bellowed from the doorway.

  “I shot her,” said Jacob. “She was going to kill Emily.”

  I opened my mouth to protest, but at Celia’s whispered “Hush” I shut it again.

  “Bloody hell,” Lord Preston muttered.

  Through the thick fog clouding my head, I heard George and Adelaide, Lady Preston too. Everyone was there. Jacob was there. Holding me, rocking me. He didn’t speak.

  After several minutes, his mother’s gentle voice sounded close to my ear. “Let her go, Jacob.”

  He shook his head. I breathed in a deep, shuddering breath. “Never.”

  I pulled away and extricated my arms from his embrace. “I’m all right, Jacob. I’m here.” I wiped his tears away with my thumbs, but I did not try to stand. I liked being there with him, so close together. Liked it very much.

  “I don’t care what people say,” he whispered. “I don’t care what you do.” This he said to his father. “I will not give her up. Cut me off, disinherit me, it doesn’t matter. I’ve been given another chance and I will not waste my life with someone I don’t love. I love Emily, and I’m going to be with her.”

  Lord Preston cleared his throat and stretched his neck. His impressive whiskers twitched. “Well,” was all he said.

  “We can’t,” his wife said. She was still on her knees near us, her pretty face etched with concern. She looked much older. “We can’t do this to him. Not now.”

  Lord Preston nodded slowly, thoughtfully. “But she will have to give up her séances.”

  “That certainly won’t be a problem,” I said.

  “And we’ll have to gloss over your family origins when our friends ask,” Lady Preston said with a somewhat apologetic wince in Celia’s direction.

  “I won’t deny who my parents are,” I said.

  “Stop putting conditions on it, Mother.” Jacob rose and helped me to stand. My legs still felt weak but he tucked me into his side and I felt safe. “She will marry me, and that’s final.”

  “You could tell everyone her parents are from the colonies,” Celia said. “Louis and I are leaving for Melbourne soon anyway, so it wouldn’t be a lie. Tell them her father went there to make his fortune many years ago and now he has.” She smiled at Louis and he smiled back. “Tell them whatever to want.”

  “We could say he holds an important position,” Lady Preston said, thoughtful. “Communication between the colonies and England is scarce at best. A good plan, Miss Chambers.”

  “Mother,” Jacob chided.

  “It’s not for our sakes, dear, b
ut for Emily’s. The less speculation there is about her family, the easier it will be for her to fit into your life.”

  “What are the prospects like in the colonies?” Lord Preston asked Louis. “Any projects a man can sink capital into?”

  “A man of capital could do very well there,” Louis said. His eyes twinkled with new vigor. “Melbourne is a thriving settlement and more permanent buildings are going up all the time.”

  “Come into my study and we can discuss it further. Perhaps we can strike more than one arrangement between families today.”

  “Wait a moment, Father,” Adelaide said. She took George’s hand and he trailed behind her as she raced after her father. He stumbled then recovered and pushed his glasses up his nose. “If Jacob marries whomever he chooses, then so do I. And I choose George.”

  “We’ll discuss it later,” Lord Preston said.

  “We will discuss it now.”

  “Father,” Jacob said on a sigh. “At least listen to her. Culvert is a good man. You won’t find better, and we owe him a great deal.”

  “You don’t owe me anything, Beaufort,” George said. “I certainly wouldn’t accept Adelaide as payment.”

  “Hush,” Adelaide said. “Marriage is as much a financial arrangement as anything else. If Father wants to give me to you as thanks, then we’ll accept it.”

  “If you say so.”

  I looked to Jacob and he winked at me as he tried not to smirk.

  Adelaide kissed her brother’s cheek. “Thank you.”

  Lord Preston surprised us all by folding Adelaide into an embrace. “It seems my study is about to become very crowded. Come with me. Jacob, take Emily into the breakfast parlor where you can be alone. I’ll send the servants in to clean up this mess.”

  I watched them leave, tears clogging my throat. I felt utterly undeserving of such love, but grateful for it anyway.

  Jacob took me into the adjoining smaller parlor and closed the door. His breathing made the only sound in the room. I’d never heard anything sweeter.

  He touched my chin and I looked up at him. He was smiling openly, such a rare and precious sight. “I shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy,” he said, the smile slipping a little.

  “Don’t say that. What happened to Frederick isn’t your fault.”

  “It was in a way, but I won’t jeopardize my future happiness because of a past mistake.” His nod was emphatic and final. “If I learned anything from this whole experience it’s that life is worth living. Even the bad parts. Indeed, the bad only makes the good seem so much better.” He hooked me round the waist and reeled me in. “And you are so very, very good.”

  He kissed me, hard and hungry at first, like he couldn’t get enough. Then it softened and I wallowed in the warmth of his lips, the taste of his tongue, his smell, all the things I’d wanted to experience but couldn’t when he was in spirit form.

  He broke the kiss and kneeled down on the floor.

  “Jacob, are you all right? Do you still feel weak?”

  He grinned. “I am better than I’ve ever felt.” He sobered and the blue of his eyes intensified as his gaze locked onto mine. “Emily.” He took my hands in both of his. My heart skipped madly in my chest. “Before you, I was lost,” he said. “Whether in this realm when I was alive, or in the Waiting Area, my life was only half-lived until you came along and filled it. You were the only light in my dark world, a calm island in a raging sea. You changed everything. You changed me. And now I want you to complete me by being my wife.”

  I got down on my knees too so that we could be level with each other, and because I couldn’t stand on my wobbly legs any longer. I kissed his hands then let go to touch his chest where his heart beat a rhythm as fierce as my own.

  “Please say something,” he whispered. “Say yes.”

  I lifted my gaze. Smiled. “Yes.”

  He circled my waist and gently lowered me onto the thick carpet then kissed me so thoroughly, my body went limp. When we separated for air, I pressed my palm against his heart again. Still beating. I think I would be checking it for the rest of our lives.

  He made to kiss me but I held him off. “We should stop,” I said, breathless. “Someone might come in.”

  “Let them. I don’t care. I want everyone, including the servants, to see how passionately in love I am with my fiancée.”

  I stretched my arms around his neck. “Indeed? Well then, you’d better kiss me again. We wouldn’t want anyone to be in any doubt.”

  He did.

  EPILOGUE

  The ball held in honor of Jacob was a hastily thrown together affair, coming only seven days after his return to life. Not that I, or any of the other hundred people in attendance, could tell. It seemed to run as smoothly as an event planned months in advance. Indeed, the only great difference to Adelaide’s coming out ball was that everyone swamped Jacob upon first sight.

  I couldn’t blame them. They had a great many questions for him, and he answered most as best he could without touching on the supernatural circumstances. This meant that many of his answers consisted of “I can’t recall.” Everyone knew, however, that his killer had taken his own life, something Lord Preston made very clear. His booming voice could be heard over the throng of conversation and music, the note of pride and affection for his son evident to all.

  I watched Jacob and his family from the center of the ballroom where I danced with George twice and Wallace Arbuthnot once, although my toes regretted the decision to encourage the latter onto the dance floor.

  “He cuts rather a splendid figure,” Theo said, as we stood at the edge of the ballroom after dancing a polka together. His eyes twinkled merrily but a hint of regret threaded his tone. “It’s no wonder you fell in love with him.”

  “Everyone seems to adore him,” I said as Jacob tipped his head back and laughed. He’d been laughing most of the evening and I was utterly mesmerized by the rich sound of it. He’d hardly laughed at all when he was a ghost, and certainly not with such abandon. What made it even more special was that he was laughing along with George and a thin fellow with floppy hair and a pronounced limp. I’d met him earlier and the youth had been so awkward around everybody that he’d blushed whenever he spoke. Now, with Jacob, there wasn’t a blush in sight and they were like two old friends. Jacob was certainly making good on his promise to take notice of everyone.

  “Emily.” Theo’s voice was a low murmur intended to be heard only by me. He bent his head down to be closer to mine and his fingers brushed my hand. “Beaufort is so popular, so…available to everybody, and I know you prefer not to be noticed. Being with him, you will be stared at more than I think you’ll like.”

  I clasped his hand, because he seemed to be in need of reassurance, and gave him a smile. It was easy to do. Like Jacob, smiling and laughing was something I did a lot of lately. “You’re mistaken. I don’t mind being looked at if there is no offence meant. Curious stares I can cope with, distrustful and mean-spirited ones I cannot.”

  Those sort still existed of course. A week in Jacob’s company wasn’t enough to wipe them out entirely. Even at the ball there was the odd hurtful whisper about my exotic looks and I heard more than one matron ask her friends if I’d been a true medium or a fraud.

  “Will you be happy with him?” Theo asked, rubbing my knuckles with his thumb.

  It was much too intimate a gesture. I pulled away and glanced in Jacob’s direction. He was watching me, his jaw rigid, an unmistakably possessive gleam in his eye. He bowed to his companions and strode through the ballroom toward us. The crowd parted for him and didn’t hide their curiosity about his destination. We had not announced our engagement yet—a speech was scheduled for later—and we’d spent much of the evening apart since he was far too popular for me to get within three feet of him.

  “Theo, I am the happiest girl in this room. Perhaps in the country. And you?”

  He scanned the faces of the dancers and his gaze settled on one in particular. Suzette. �
��I will be,” he said with more determination than one should need when looking upon one’s fiancée.

  “Excuse me, Hyde,” said Jacob, squaring up to him. He bowed. “I need to dance with Miss Chambers.”

  A strange hush snuffed out the surrounding conversations. All heads swiveled like sunflowers turning toward the sun. Those close enough to hear him speak had already repeated his words to those behind them, making special note of his “need” to dance with me. Within seconds the whole ballroom must have known about it, if the ripple of conversation was any indication.

  I felt like I was on display as I put my hand in Jacob’s big one and let him lead me onto the dance floor for a waltz. I wasn’t yet used to the attention, and contrary to what I’d said to Theo earlier, I was unnerved by it.

  As if sensing my apprehension, Jacob held me tighter and we whirled around the other dancers. The wide skirt of my borrowed gown floated around my ankles like a cloud. There had been no time to have a new outfit made and Celia refused to let me attend in the same one I’d worn to Adelaide’s ball, so Jacob’s sister had graciously loaned me one of hers. The hem required adjusting but it was otherwise an exquisite dress of white satin with silvery lace and little lavender bows sewn into the fabric.

  “Jacob, are you all right?” I asked. “You feel a little tense.” Indeed, his shoulders were like bricks and his back was ramrod straight. He stared over the top of my head.

  “I know I pushed you toward him. I know that the feelings between you are partly my fault.” His Adam’s apple jerked up and down, and he suddenly looked at me. The desolation in his eyes melted my insides.

  “Jacob—”

  “I will bear it if I have to,” he growled, his voice ragged, “but I will not give you up.” His hand at my back pressed harder. “I cannot.”

  I smiled at him. I couldn’t help it. I adored him, but it was rather nice to see him quietly rage with jealousy. “I don’t care for Theo. Perhaps as a friend, but nothing more. You’re the one I love.”

  He blinked rapidly and one corner of his mouth tilted upward. He sucked in a breath as deep as the one he’d first gasped after re-awakening in the storage room. “I want to take you somewhere quiet right now and kiss you. Do you think anyone would notice if we disappeared?”