The Courage to Dream

by Margaret Daley

Rachel blushed when she glanced at the people in the stands, every eye on them. She sunk to her seat, wishing she could crawl under the bleachers to hide. Whereas Michael was grinning from ear to ear. The only thing he didn’t do was give everyone a high five.

  The rest of the inning passed in a blur. The next batter struck out, and the Seahawks came up to bat for the final time—if the Tigers could hold them to no runs. She was aware of everything happening around her, but she felt as though she were in a vacuum, observing the situation from afar.

  When the game was over and the Tigers had won, all Rachel wanted to do was get Shaun and head home before someone asked her about the kiss. The whole town would have her engaged to Michael before the night was over.

  When Mary Lou started talking to him, Rachel saw her chance to escape without having to say anything to Michael. She backed away a few paces, then turned and hurried toward the parking lot. She would wait for Shaun inside the safety of her car.

  Turning, Michael started to say something to Rachel, but she was gone. He searched the crowd around the boys but didn’t see her. Then he looked toward her car and found her sitting behind the steering wheel with the engine running. He grinned and waved. She glanced away.

  Garrett ran up to Michael. “Did you see me?”

  “You were awesome, son.”

  “I was very impressed,” Mary Lou said.

  Garrett straightened, a big grin on his face. “I’ve been practicing.”

  “Tom and I would like to take you out for some ice cream.”

  “Can we go, Dad?”

  “Sure,” Michael said, feeling trapped into spending more time with Mary Lou and her husband.

  Garrett and Tom walked ahead of Mary Lou and Michael. He was sure she’d maneuvered it that way. He could tell she had something on her mind.

  She slowed her step. “I see that Rachel is back in your life. Do you think that’s wise?”

  “Rachel needed my help with Shaun and Amy.”

  “I don’t want to see Garrett hurt by all this.”

  “I find your concern just a little late, Mary Lou.”

  She winced. “Let me say one more thing, then I’ll keep quiet on the subject of Rachel. Think long and hard before you fall in love with her again. Has anything really changed with her? Can she stay in Magnolia Blossom? I can’t see you any other place but here. Do you want a repeat of ten years ago?”

  He ran his hand through his hair and massaged the back of his neck. He was very aware that Rachel wouldn’t make a commitment or settle down in Magnolia Blossom. That was why he was protecting his heart against her. The kiss had been a lapse in good judgment. That was all.

  * * *

  Sheltered under the overhang, Rachel stood at the back of the riverboat and watched the rain fall in gray sheets. A thin layer of perspiration blanketed her whole body as she inhaled air laced with the clean, fresh smell of a summer shower.

  It had been almost two weeks since the baseball game, and life moved forward, Rachel thought, peering over her shoulder at the beehive of activity in the main salon. The sound of an electric saw and hammering dueled with the sound of the falling rain.

  She hadn’t seen Michael much since the game and she never saw him alone, which she suspected he arranged purposely. She welcomed the crowd of people who demanded his time. She was able to come to the boat, supervise the renovation of the kitchen, which was progressing nicely, and leave with her emotions intact. It couldn’t have worked out better if she had planned it.

  “I love to look at the river when it rains, to listen to it hit the water. Soothing. Calming. Something I need right now.”

  At the sound of Michael’s voice, Rachel closed her eyes for a few seconds, realizing her reprieve had ended.

  He came to the railing and leaned back against it, facing her, one corner of his mouth lifting in a smile. “I need a break. I’ve been so involved in these renovations that I feel like I’m meeting myself coming and going.”

  “There does seem to be a lot going on around here these days.”

  “I wanted the boat ready before the end of summer. I think I’ll get my wish, but at what price?”

  “Why the push? You’ve had the boat for years.”

  “You know me. When I get something into my head, I don’t like to wait.” He crossed his arms over his chest, his back against a post.

  “I feel the same way. That’s why I’ve been on pins and needles waiting to hear from the investors about my restaurant.” She realized she had brought up the subject of her restaurant as a reminder to him—and herself—that her stay in Magnolia Blossom was temporary.

  Michael’s expression went neutral, and a subtle tension sharpened the air between them like the atmosphere right before a storm. “When do you expect to hear?”

  “Within the month. A couple of them are out of the country right now.”

  “What do you think your chances are?”

  “Good.”

  “Then you’ll leave?”

  “Yes.” Thunder sounded in the distance, and Rachel jumped. The tension between them had honed her nerves to a keen edge.

  “Looks like the weather is taking a turn for the worse.” Michael faced the same direction as she did, his arm brushing hers.

  The casual contact sent a jolt through her as if lightning had struck her body. “How are things going with you and Mary Lou?”

  Michael sighed. “We had another big discussion about Garrett. It didn’t go well.”

  For a few seconds his emotions lay exposed. She placed her hand over his on the railing, wanting to comfort and give something to him. He had given her so much.

  “Does Garrett know you two are arguing about custody?”

  “I haven’t told him yet. I didn’t want to fight a legal battle over him, but I don’t trust Mary Lou.” He stared at the rain, the weather a reflection of his mood. He hadn’t intended to come out on deck and talk with Rachel, but before he’d realized it, his feet had taken him to her and his mouth had opened and spoken.

  “You won’t be able to keep this from him for long.”

  “So I guess we both have secrets we’re keeping from our families,” he said with a bitter edge to his voice.

  “I’ve decided to tell Amy and Shaun soon, even if I haven’t heard from my lawyer about the restaurant proposal.”

  “When?”

  “After her birthday next week. I don’t like keeping secrets. You were right.”

  “Which is your way of saying I’d better tell Garrett about what’s going on?”

  “He doesn’t realize what really happened when Mary Lou left, does he? He doesn’t know about her drinking problem?”

  “He was too young. I could never disillusion him by telling him the truth about his mother. I’m not putting my son in the middle of this.”

  “But aren’t you doing that with this custody battle? Maybe Mary Lou has changed. Is she drinking anymore?”

  “She says no, not for a year.”

  “But you don’t believe her?”

  He stiffened. “No—yes. I don’t know, Rachel. I want to believe her. It would make things so much easier. She sees Garrett on a limited basis with me around.”

  “But not alone.”

  “No.”

  “What are you afraid of? That she will run away with him? Isn’t her husband established with a medical practice in Jackson?”

  “Mary Lou was always unpredictable.”

  “Contrary to you?”

  Michael pressed his lips together and continued to stare at the gray sheets of rain. The sound on the water usually soothed him, but now he was wound so tightly he was afraid he would snap in two pieces. He let the silence between them lengthen, hoping that Rachel wouldn’t pursue the topic of Mary Lou. He was all talked out.

  “What are you going to do for Amy’s birthday?” he finally asked.

  “I’d like to organize a birthday party. What do you think?”

  “It’s worth a try. I’ll even help you
. You can have the party on the boat. A lot of the work has been done.”

  “Thanks. I want it to be a surprise.”

  “This from the woman who hates surprises?” Michael arched a brow.

  “If it wasn’t a surprise, I’m afraid she might not agree to me giving her one.”

  “Aren’t things better between you?”

  “A little, this past week. She actually had breakfast with me this morning.”

  “Speaking of breakfast, don’t forget the pancake breakfast at the church. Amy is one of the organizers. Great way to be around your sister and help the youth group, too.”

  “I’ll be there,” Rachel said, realizing she would also be around Michael.

  * * *

  “We need more pancakes,” Kevin called from the doorway of the church kitchen.

  “Where are all these people coming from?” Rachel asked, stirring another batch together.

  “They heard you were making the pancakes and they couldn’t resist sampling your cooking, sugar.” Helen flipped over some pancakes on the griddle.

  “I’m not the only one. You’re cooking, too.”

  “But, sugar, they’ve tasted my pancakes at the café. You’re a mystery to them.”

  “Quit chatting, ladies, and get busy. You have a hungry crowd out there in the parish hall.” Michael slid another serving platter toward Helen.

  Perspiration beaded Rachel’s brow. “And this is for charity?” She felt like a piece of wilted lettuce.

  “Yep. The youth group is raising money for their mission trip to Mexico,” Michael said, then left the kitchen to give the full platter to a teenaged server.

  Amy dashed in and grabbed another pitcher of orange juice. “Two more families just showed up. Kevin is seating them now.”

  “When you’re through pouring the juice, we could use another cook.” Rachel slid the mixing bowl to Helen. “We’re running low on bacon.”

  “Be back in a sec.”

  Rachel stared at her sister as she slipped from the kitchen. “Did you hear that?”

  “Yeah, she’ll be back in a sec. What’s wrong with that?”

  “Nothing. It was actually said in a perfectly normal voice. I may needlepoint those words and frame them.”

  “There’s only one problem with that. You don’t needlepoint.”

  “True. But I could take it up.”

  Helen nearly choked on her laughter. “You sit still long enough to do something like that?”

  “Do what?” Michael asked, coming up behind Rachel and snatching a piece of bacon.

  She thwacked him playfully across the knuckles with a spatula.

  “Ouch!”

  “You have to wait like all the other workers until the paying customers have eaten.”

  “You wield a mean spatula, Rachel Peters.”

  “And you just remember that the next time you try to eat before it’s your turn.”

  “Oh, look, what’s Amy doing?” Michael pointed toward the door into the parish hall.

  Rachel started to turn but stopped and whirled in time to see Michael snitching another piece of bacon. He had it halfway to his mouth when she said, “I’m ashamed of you, Michael Hunter. You’re the youth director. What kind of example are you setting by taking that bacon?” The corners of her mouth twitched as she tried to suppress her laughter.

  Michael hung his head and offered the piece to her. “It’s hard to resist your cooking.” He slanted a glance at her through lowered eyelashes, a sheepish look on his face. “I’ll try to resist, but I can’t promise anything.”

  Rachel rolled her eyes. “I don’t want that bacon. You touched it, you have to eat it.”

  “Oh, really.” His expression brightened. He popped the piece into his mouth, an impish grin gracing his face. “It’s a sacrifice, but I’ll do it.”

  “Will you two get back to work? We’ll never get everyone served—at least not before lunch. And I have a café to run, customers who might want to see me before the end of the day.” Helen stood with her hand on her waist, a lethal-looking spatula in her grasp.

  Michael saluted. “Yes, ma’am.” He grabbed another plate of pancakes and headed for the parish hall, whistling as he went.

  That set the tone for the rest of the pancake breakfast. Even Amy relaxed and smiled more than usual. By the time Rachel mixed the last batch of pancakes, exhaustion clung to her, but it was a pleasant feeling. She leaned back against the counter and surveyed the kitchen. The scent of frying bacon and pancakes still laced the air. She felt at home. The sensation took her by surprise.

  Kevin entered the kitchen with a tray full of dirty dishes. Amy followed with several empty platters stacked on top of each other. Their laughter filled the room with a warmth that heightened Rachel’s sense of belonging.

  “Okay, is it our time to eat?” Michael asked, bringing in more plates.

  “Yes,” Helen announced. “Everyone can grab some food. We’ll clean up after we eat.”

  Several teenagers scrambled to be first in line for the remaining pancakes. Helen patiently doled them out. Kevin and Amy brought up the end of the line, taking their breakfast and following the rest of the youth group into the parish hall.

  “There’d better be some left for us adults.” Michael held up his plate.

  “Don’t you mean me?” Helen asked, slipping a stack of pancakes on his plate.

  “No, I mean me.”

  Rachel laughed. “You two are giving me a headache.”

  When Helen, Michael and Rachel came out of the kitchen to sit with the youth group, Reverend Williams stood up. “This fund-raiser was a rousing success again this year. We owe it all to the hard work of everyone in this room. Having Rachel as one of our cooks was an added treat. I heard members would like to have another pancake breakfast next week. I never knew pancakes could be so delicious. Thank you all for making this a success.”

  Several teenagers glanced at Rachel. She blushed while applause erupted in the parish hall.

  Michael leaned over and whispered, “Looks like you won the reverend’s heart as well as the youth group’s. Anytime you want to help me with this group, let me know.”

  “Sorry, I’ll have to pass. The only hearts I need to win over are Shaun’s and Amy’s.”

  “Shaun’s you have in the palm of your hand.”

  “But not my sister’s,” Rachel whispered. “Not yet, at least.”

  “Amy has volunteered to say the blessing.” Reverend Williams sat while Amy came to the front of the room.

  “Heavenly Father, bless this food we are about to eat and help provide for those who are less fortunate than we are. Guide us in our mission to spread Your word and show us how to reach out to those who need us. Amen.”

  Her sister’s prayer filled Rachel with a sense of peace. Amy’s sincerity and generosity touched Rachel’s heart. Even though she and Amy weren’t getting along, her sister was a good person whose strong faith would help her adjust to any situation. That realization made Rachel wish her own faith was stronger. Then maybe she would be satisfied with her life. Rachel pushed away that idea. She just needed to get to New York and her dream of having her own restaurant.

  CHAPTER NINE

  “Yes, I understand. I’ll be there August tenth to sign the papers,” Rachel said, jotting a note on the pad next to the phone. “Thank you, Frank. This is wonderful news and sooner than I expected.” She hung up, her hand lingering on the receiver.

  Wonderful news? Then why wasn’t she happier about getting the money for her restaurant? She should be jumping for joy. Instead, she was wondering how she was going to tell everyone the good news.

  Amy’s surprise birthday party was this evening on the riverboat. Rachel couldn’t say anything until after that. She had a month before she had to be in NewYork to sign the papers, then a couple more weeks after that before she had to start the plans for the restaurant. She had some time. She would wait until the moment was right.

  “Rachel, I’m leaving
for the boat,” Shaun called.

  Taking her mug of coffee, she walked into the living room. “I’ll be down later. Did you get all the invitations delivered?”

  “Yeah. She doesn’t suspect a thing. She thinks she’s coming to the boat to pick up Kevin after work. He told her that his car was having some problems.”

  She went with her brother onto the porch, taking a deep breath of the fresh air. “It’s a good thing she’s doing that summer arts workshop in Natchez or I don’t know how we could have kept this quiet.”

  Rachel watched as Shaun rode his bike away from the house. He would be all right about the move, but that still left Amy. Sighing at the task ahead of her, Rachel took a sip of her coffee, then retrieved the mail from the box. As she entered the house, the phone rang. She hurried into the kitchen and snatched up the receiver.

  Breathless, she said, “Hello.”

  “Rachel, it’s your mother. I wanted to let you know I’ll be coming to the States in a few weeks to testify before a congressional committee on funding for medical research. I thought I would stop in Magnolia Blossom and sign those papers.”

  Rachel sank onto the chair next to the phone, her hands trembling with anger. Her mother’s life went on as if nothing was different, and she supposed, for her mother, it wasn’t. She didn’t have to worry about her children. That was Rachel’s responsibility. It shouldn’t be.

  “Rachel? Are you there?”

  “Yes, Mother.”

  “I won’t be able to stay long because your father and I are at a crucial time in our research. I wanted to take care of the legalities as soon as possible because I have no idea when I’ll get back to the States.”

  Rachel’s anger mounted. “How convenient for you that I’m here to take care of your children.”

  “You know it wouldn’t be a good situation to have Amy and Shaun live here in our camp.”

  “For whom? You and Dad or Amy and Shaun?” Rachel’s hand tightened around the receiver until her knuckles turned white.

  “For everyone.”

  “Why did you have children, Mother? You certainly aren’t around enough to know what is good for us. First Aunt Flora and now I will take care of your responsibilities.”