Vampires Don't Cry: The Collection

by Ian Hall

  I decided to call the one person I’d begun to rely on for dodgy information.

  “Reynolds?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I didn’t wake you?”

  “Hell, no. The people that pay me never wake me up, I’m always on call. What’s up?”

  “Well, it seems that I need some advice on a specialized subject, and I don’t know if you can advise me or not.”

  “You want to fly at least a thousand miles to break into a corporate building, to probably get some information, or sabotage something.”

  I shut my mouth, temporarily silenced.

  I took a deep breath, then another. “And you learned this from what, exactly?”

  “From the other work you’ve asked me do, plus your questions on guns and key cards. I’m guessing you’re some kind of ecological terrorist, and you’re just beginning to get serious.”

  Shit.

  I put the phone down, worrying that I’d been so transparent everywhere else.

  The next day, I spent my whole morning sniffing around town. Literally. Rooting out vampires turned out to be more difficult than I’d counted on. I mean, Lucy had pretty much been dropped in my lap; Jackson would have chalked that up to divine intervention. I guess the gods decided I worked on my own for today, and I ended up empty-handed.

  Eh - that is in the vampire sense. Since I’d visited just about every mini-mall in town, my backseat lay loaded with brightly packaged goodies. So, at least it wasn’t a totally wasted day.

  By ten-past-three, I sat waiting in the parking lot on Brick Street, waiting for Chris to appear. The rain had let up but the brisk wind still streaked through. It rattled the car windows and my nerves and took out the one good station I could find on the radio.

  Once again my new friend was late. When the clock glowed four-twelve, I started to fear the worst. What if I’d been too late? What if the Mize brothers had beat me to the punch? Good-looking, kind-hearted Chris might very well be in with the Blanches now.

  My own crazy eyes caught me in the rearview mirror again. “You should never have let him go with them yesterday. You should have stuck to Chris like fucking glue. How could you be so stupid?!”

  I didn’t even bother to argue with my reflection. I’d been stupid and that may have cost Chris his life, possibly his soul.

  “You let Alan McCartney beat you…again!”

  Okay. Now that ball flew over the line. I sat forward, just about to launch a counterstrike at my alter ego, when a boxy black car pulled up alongside me. One of the Mize brothers stuck his head out of the window and motioned for me to roll down mine.

  First instinct told me to get the hell out of there. But, sheer stupid curiosity won out. I dropped the thin glass barrier between them and me and called out over the blistering cold wind.

  “Where’s Chris?” I demanded.

  No trace of amusement lay in the smile that responded to me. “Busy. He sends his regards.”

  “What’d you dicks do to him?”

  The Mize brothers exchange a glance, communicating in that twin telepathy or something. The one closest to me chuckled and nodded some weird appreciation.

  “Alan said you’d be scrappy.”

  One suspicion confirmed: they knew my identity. Not too surprising considering I sat top on the McCartney “Most Wanted” list.

  “What’d you fucks do to Chris?”

  “Nothin’. Just threw a couple distractions at him, kept him from making his date with you. We can’t let you near him ‘til we know what you’re all about…”

  I channeled my best Alan viciousness. “If you know who I am, then you know what I’m about.”

  “It’s not real clear to me. Alan says he thinks we can bring you in…but, I’m not so sure.”

  So, the Mize boys might have looked like a couple mindless muscle bags, but at least one of them could think for himself. Not good. These guys weren’t going to be as easy to fool as the last vampire.

  “It’s not a good habit to get into,” I said, trying to keep my tone superior. “Second-guessing Alan McCartney.”

  “If I was second-guessing Alan, you wouldn’t still be alive, girly.”

  Ironic. The very vampire I’d devoted my life to killing was the same one keeping me from getting hacked. Of course, he could just be saving the pleasure for himself…

  I played a little tit-for-tat action. “And if Alan was wrong about me - you wouldn’t still be alive, little boy.”

  “You mean you’d take me out, like you did Sheldon Newell? Dizzy Hernandez?”

  Um. Crap.

  “I mean, one day Newell sends report that Mandy Cross has been knocking on his door; the next, his house goes up in a raging inferno. Some coincidence there.”

  The Mize on the far seat seconded his brother, “Yeah, some coincidence.”

  I kept my cool. “Sheldon Newell made the mistake of undermining Alan.”

  “It’s all the same to me, Mandy Cross,” he said dismissively. “If you and Alan wanna one-up each other ‘til the end of fucking time, that’s your business. You just make sure you stay out of our way. Me and my brother have worked way too long in this organization to throw it all away on account of some pissing match between the two of you. Just let us do our job and stay the fuck out of our way.”

  “And how does romancing Chris fit into your work?” I asked. “Why don’t you just turn him and get it the hell over with?”

  The twins had another silent conversation that ended in a simultaneous shrug of their shoulders. “Orders from up top. When Alan’s ready, he’ll take care of that himself. Again - it’s not our business to second-guess the boss; we just do as we’re told.”

  So, Alan wanted to handle Chris’s initiation. Get close, tweak with his head. Fuck up his thinking. Just like he’d done with me. Chris was another special project and Alan McCartney wanted to make sure it got done right.

  And the Mize brothers had to babysit until big daddy got home. Good to know.

  Now I had everything I needed, except one last tidbit.

  I repeated my original question: “Where is Chris now?”

  They both shared a good laugh before screeching off. “Taking care of some family business, Mandy Cross.”

  The second they were gone, I revved the motor and tore off toward Seventh Street. Two police cars, lights on, were parked outside Greenleaf Hardware. The display window had been smashed, isles ransacked; a little old lady stood over the counter, crying. Chris hovered behind her, rubbing her back and talking to a cop. On the other side of the store, a gray-haired man, flanked by a middle-aged man and woman were reviewing the damage.

  Mom, dad, grandma, grandpa…and most importantly to me…Chris. All present and accounted for. All alive. For now. No mistaking though - this had been done more as a warning to me than to the humans inside the hardware store. The Blanches could get to them any time.

  But, then again, so could I.

  I got out my cell and dialed Lyman’s number.

  SNAFU and FUBAR, Rolled into One

  The drive to Harris didn’t take long; I mean, it wasn’t like the seventeen-hundred miles to Atlanta or anything. But it proved a quiet one. Mary-Christine and I had guns in a box under our seats, and the box of coagulant guns in the trunk.

  Monday morning, January 16th, just one day before my eighteenth birthday. And that made me think. I mean, of all the stuff that I’d thought of this time last year, driving to Harris, AZ to grab a vampire for execution didn’t come even remotely close.

  I think the two of us were both tired for different reasons. Mary-Christine was just back from another Saturday execution in Atlanta, and was missing school.

  She had spoken to Amos Blanche directly at the execution; seems like he couldn’t wait for his turn to take part in the next one, and here we were, getting him his strapped-down victim. There would be two executions in two weeks.

  And Amos Blanche would die, at last.

  I got startled out of my daydream by the
ringing phone. Mandy. I handed it to Mary-Christine. “Hello?” she changed ears, looking around. “Halfway between Flagstaff and Winslow. Pause. Okay. Pause. Okay we’ll give you a call then. Bye.”

  She turned to me. “We’ve got about an hour, then we’re going to lie in wait. Then we arrive and hit.”

  “Seems simple enough. And we’re right on time, maybe a little early.”

  We passed Winslow, and on up I-40 towards Holbrook, Harris next.

  I took the Harris exit and headed towards the center. Well, when I say center, there wasn’t really much of it. We were in the middle of Indian reservations, and it seems that besides the actual town, it had to be the high school catchment for the area.

  Then the phone rang again. Mandy. Right on time. I answered it myself this time.

  “Mandy?”

  “Where are you?” she asked.

  “Harris, parked outside a Conoco.”

  “Okay, head north, cross the highway, and keep going north for two miles. You’ll run into us by the side of the road. Unless anything else happens, just pretend you’re lost, get out of the car and hit him, I’ll have him outside.”

  “Okay, seems simple enough. See ya soon.”

  The road north after it crossed I-40 changed from asphalt to dust, and we kicked up a large cloud as we drove. I stopped the car. “Get the guns from the trunk.”

  Mary-Christine got out. I got the pistols out from under our seats, and slipped the magazines home. Click; loaded. Ready to fire. Mary-Christine got in the front with the coagulant guns. As I drove, she loaded them.

  Soon, just ahead, were two cars, parked off the road, side by side. As we got nearer, I saw Mandy, leaning on her car. Beside the other one was one of the biggest guys I’d ever seen. Football player, a big one. I slowly pulled in behind them.

  I grinned. This was gonna be a piece of cake. And the frosting? I got to save Chris from being turned by the Blanches. Not that’d he ever know.

  I staked out the hardware store until the party officially broke up; the cops evaporated and it left just Chris and his family. They’d begun to clean up inside when I tapped on the glass door. Soon as he saw me, a parade of emotions flashed over his face: surprise, confusion, thrill, and lastly, guilt.

  “I’m so sorry, Dallas!” he said, coming over to me. “We had a little excitement here today and I didn’t have any way to reach you…”

  I wanted to just sweep him up, carry him off to some tower, and stuff him there for safekeeping until this whole thing had ran its course. And if he didn’t listen to me - that’s most likely exactly what I would have done.

  “Chris, I need to tell you something.”

  He glanced over his shoulder to where his family waited expectantly. I think if he could’ve split himself in two to be there for them and hear me out at the same time, the poor guy would have done it. Instead, he waved over at them apologetically and stepped outside to talk.

  “Okay…but, we gotta make this fast…”

  “I can’t explain everything right now but you - your whole family - you’re not safe here in Harris. What happened today was just the start; it’s gonna get worse - much worse.”

  His usual, casual charm took over. “Just some vandals on a bender, Dallas. Don’t get so freaked out. Shit happens. This time it happened to us.”

  “This is not just some random break-in, Chris. You’re being targeted.”

  “By who? For what?”

  “All I know for sure is that your buds, the Mize brothers, are part of it.”

  Chris took a step back like I’d sprayed him with mace. His family really started to pay attention now. There wasn’t a hell of a lot more I could tell him with an audience around. So, I kept my voice low but my tone freaking fierce.

  “Just stay away from them, please. Don’t go back to school until I tell you it’s clear. I’m trying to help you, Chris…but, you gotta listen to me.”

  “You’re not making any sense, and I’ve had enough goddamn drama for one day, Dallas,” he threw his hands up in the air.

  Chris’s dad took a few steps up to the door, mulling me over like something that got drug up from the sewer. “Everything okay over there, son?”

  “Be there in a sec,” he said in a thinly controlled temper. Then he turned back to me with sheer disappointment in his eyes. “I’ll see you around, Dallas.”

  Before he could turn, I grabbed his arm. Harder than I meant to. Chris half-moaned, half-shrieked in pain. That got everyone’s attention; even granny looked ready to pull my hair out.

  “Look,” I said quickly, “you already know something weird is going on at school. I’ll tell you everything - answer all your questions. Just listen to me now and stay the hell away from the Mize brothers and any other of those new kids.”

  Chris yanked his arm out of my grasp and rubbed at it. As he thought, his pouty expression turned to one of curiosity.

  “I’ll be busy enough here for a while anyway,” he said reluctantly. “I can skip a couple days of school. But, you’re on the hook, Dallas…and I want to know fucking everything!”

  I held up my hands in a “scout’s” salute. “I swear. But, I just need one more thing from you…”

  He exhaled hard and rolled his gorgeous eyes. “Holy shit - what now?”

  “I need the Mize brothers’ phone number…”

  “You’re gonna be a handful, Dallas,” he complained, but whipped out his cell phone without any questions.

  I got the number, kissed his cheek, and waved bye to the family. None of them waved back. I left feeling pretty much satisfied; Chris would keep his promise. If I pulled my part off, by the time he returned to Harris High, there’d be a couple less vampires gunning for him.

  When I got to the car, I dialed the number, and one of the Mize boys picked up on the first ring.

  I didn’t bother with a greeting. “I got your boy; tell Alan if he wants Chris so damn bad, he’s gonna have to get him away from me.”

  “Mandy Cross,” The voice said dryly, “I knew you were going to be trouble. What the hell do you want?”

  “Alan. Face to face. Tomorrow morning. The parking lot by the Brick Street underpass.”

  I drove out of town a few miles to the rest stop, and phoned Lyman for back-up. That night I slept in the car.

  Next morning, when the time came, I parked my car and waited. Right on cue, the boxy black car rolled up beside mine. No surprise that Alan was nowhere in sight; but for our plan, any vampire would work.

  “Where’s your sidekick?” I asked as I got out to lean up against my car.

  He did the same. “Bringing Alan. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

  “For starters, I would’ve thought he’d be here on time instead of sending one of his lackeys to keep me company while I wait.”

  “Alan McCartney doesn’t make too many public appearances these days. Consider yourself lucky he’s coming at all.”

  “If he doesn’t then he loses his prize recruit,” I said lightly.

  The beefy guy grinned without humor, “Oh…we’re not gonna let that happen, Mandy Cross.”

  His eyes were keen and severe like he could see right through me.

  I’d just begun to wonder if I’d made a mistake when Lyman and Mary-Christine pulled up.

  With a map hiding the coagulant gun, I got out of the car. Neither Mandy nor the brute had moved. “Hi, I think I must be lost.” I crossed the ground between us. Looking from the map to the cars, I heard Mary-Christine’s door open. “I’m looking for Harris?”

  Mandy acted her part superbly. She leant further onto her car and a sneer crossed her face. “South, Dickwad.” She exchanged grins with the football player. “Did you not see the town?”

  I stood in direct sight of the big guy. I dropped the map, aimed, and put a dart right on his chest. Just like the training manual.

  He disappeared. Shit.

  When he materialized, he stood right in front of me, but his face strain, his breathing ragged, and
his steps slow and labored. So I hit him point blank in the belly with the next dart. His eyes immediately clouded over, and he fell to the ground with a huge explosion of dirty red dust.

  “That was way too easy.” Mandy bent to move the body.

  I gave a hand, but we hardly shifted him an inch.

  Mary-Christine threw her gun into the car and ran to join us. “You couldn’t have gotten a skinnier guy?”

  Gradually we pulled him round the back, but we were pulling and puffing so much, we didn’t see the other car ‘til it screeched to a halt, kicking up a huge cloud.

  “Trouble!” I said, but I didn’t know how bad ‘til the first shot fizzled over our heads.

  “Holy shit!” The second hit me in the left shoulder, spinning me around. I landed near the guy’s body, staring into his lifeless eyes.

  “Get into the car, Mary-Christine!” Mandy shouted. “You drive!” As I felt her lift me up and propel me towards the open passenger door, the second shot ricocheted off the roof, sending sparks into my eyes.

  Out of the corner of my eye, Mary-Christine leant over from the driver’s seat and fired a couple back. I heard two crisp, dull thuds of bullets hitting metal.

  “What about the body?” I gasped into Mandy’s ear. I threw my gun inside.

  “We leave it!” Mandy just got me to the door when the third shot hit her in the chest, throwing her back against the car. She fell instantly dead, collapsing in a lifeless heap into my ineffective arms. As two more shots came close, I somehow pushed Mandy inside, then just jumped on top of her. “Drive!”

  Mary-Christine reversed in a huge arc, kicking up a large dust bowl between the cars, then we shot off south for the highway.

  As the car bumped down the dirt road, somehow I got Mandy into the backseat foot wells, and collapsed onto my own seat, holding my shoulder. I reached for the still-unclosed door, flapping as we drove. I pulled it shut.

  “Are you okay?” Mary-Christine asked.

  “I think so.” I eased myself out of my chair, putting my back to Mary-Christine. “Can you see blood?”