Vampires Don't Cry: The Collection

by Ian Hall

  But then, I considered the run-up. We’d hit them hard on Election Day, no doubt about that. Then we’d also taken away their titular head. Perhaps there’d been no one else with much sense at all. All young, new vampires.

  Ripe for the picking.

  Finch opened the next door, and before she’d pushed it wide, it flashed open, banging on the wall behind it.

  Two rabid vampires flew at us, one knocking me back against the far wall. Okay, he’d caught me off guard, but his teeth slashed wildly at me. His nails thrashed at the invisible demon he’d encountered, and for a moment, he caught me with a few heavy blows.

  Somehow I’d dropped my dart gun when he hit me, and now had little recourse but to strangle him. I got both hands firmly on his windpipe, and pushed hard. Suddenly he forgot about hitting me, and grabbed the two invisible arms locked onto his throat. He proved a strong son-of-a-bitch, and fought against me all the way.

  I heard the sound of a dart gun, then again, closer this time, almost at my ear.

  At last he weakened, his enraged eyes glassing over slightly, leaning back.

  Pfft!

  “I got him, Lyman.” Finch stood close.

  I pushed him off me, away from both of us, and he landed on the corridor floor, twitching against the Helsing draught coursing through his body.

  “I’ve lost my earpiece.” My voice seemed to echo down the hallway.

  “Okay, making you visible.”

  Between the two of us, crawling on the floor, we found both the earpiece and my dart gun. I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite as vulnerable as right there, on the carpet. Hands and knees, no gun.

  Back invisible again, I took the trip back to the van very slowly that time.

  When the two bodies had been unloaded inside, we stood at the back and I asked for energy drinks to be passed to us. I’m not sure if Finch actually needed hers, but she stood with me.

  Mark Brennan asked me the usual doctor questions, how I felt, blah, blah, blah.

  As we walked back to the dorm building, I told Finch more than I’d told him.

  “Tired. Very weary,” I said, my words seeming to vanish in the dark silence of the Phoenix night. “I’m not actually sure that the invisibility thing isn’t part of it. I felt kinda weary the last times, but never really gave it much extra thought.”

  “Perhaps I should be doing all the carrying then.” Finch sounded concerned. “I’m okay right now.”

  “We’ll see.” And I determined right there that I’d try and let my macho thing slide for a bit.

  However, the next door we opened we caught two vampires just hanging out. Beer bottles littered the room, and to be honest, it looked like they’d had a frat party in their room.

  Invisible Helsings stood in front of partially incoherent and unsuspecting vampires.

  Result?

  2-0

  With only limited reluctance from me, I let Finch do the heavy lifting, actually sitting on the sofa for the moments that she had gone.

  The last two rooms proved to be empty, although one did have the television on.

  “Next floor.”

  Man, not only lifting vampires, but carrying them down stairs.

  “Couldn’t we just throw them out the window and collect them later?”

  Finch didn’t reply for a bit. “That might not be a bad idea.”

  “It would save carrying them down the stairs.”

  “Even standing in the elevator with them on your shoulder would become tiring.”

  “Let’s see what happens.”

  I hear her footstep on the hard concrete stair, and followed to the next floor. We checked through the small meshed window in the fire door. Nothing.

  We quietly entered the second floor corridor.

  I stood facing the nearest apartment door, but as Finch opened it, I heard her gasp. The door sat ajar three inches.

  “What’s wrong?” I hissed.

  “There seemed to be a strange click.”

  “What kind of click?”

  She paused. “The kind of click you’d associate with a detonation device for a bomb.”

  Crap. I almost ran then and there.

  “So what do we do?” I asked.

  “Lyman, I’m not sure if this will blow if I open or close the door.”

  “Crap. Can’t we just leave it?”

  “Dunno. It might swing on its own if no one holds it.”

  “Well we have to do something. Wedge it or something.”

  “Of that, I’m well aware.” Pause. “Lyman, squeeze past me and grip the door, so it doesn’t move.”

  Now I didn’t like the way she’d said that. But I did fumble my way past her and slip my fingers around the door, holding it still.

  “I’m going to go outside and climb in. See if I can just untie something. I can’t think it’ll be too complicated.”

  “Maybe one of the students used to be with Al Qaeda.”

  “Funny bugger. I’ll be in contact all the way. Just don’t move.”

  As if I needed telling.

  Well, I crouched on the floor, my fingers around a door, probably with a bomb behind it.

  Wonderful.

  Finch had been gone for maybe four minutes when I heard the distant thump.

  The building moved ever so slightly.

  Almost like someone had reversed a car into the wall by mistake.

  “Finch?”

  Nothing.

  “Finch?”

  Again, nothing.

  Then my mind processed the sound. It had been a faraway sound.

  Doors opened in my corridor. The sounds of people running. Vampires.

  “Oh shit,” I said into the rapidly filling corridor.

  It had been the noise of a distant bomb.

  Alucard West. I clicked my earpiece. “Mandy?”

  Nothing.

  Now there were so many vampires running past me down the hallway, I didn’t care who heard me. “Mandy!”

  We took four more vampires from the ground floor. Both in twos.

  ‘Vampire cleanup, Aisle One.’

  All very important, I knew that, but at the same time, all very boring and cut-throat.

  It felt like Harris all over again, except this time I killed college students. College kids who had never asked to be turned as vampires. College kids who’d had little option in entering vampire life, just like I did.

  I tried hard to keep my focus, but I have to admit, it did lapse from time to time. Especially when we took the bodies back to the van. That seemed to be my time-out.

  I trudged back to the van each time, a stupid college kid on my shoulder, wondering each time if I should just leave then and there.

  But I knew that I had to see the whole game through. Leave with a clean slate. Maybe even get a few bucks from Howard himself – a job bonus, so to speak.

  After we’d dumped the bodies inside for Miranda and her team to deal with, I gave myself a shake, and tried to concentrate.

  I planned to leave Friday.

  Friday. Two Days.

  We cleared the ground floor, then set off upstairs.

  When Valérie pulled the handle on the first door, I heard the click.

  OMG. I will carry that sound to my dying bed. If I ever die in a bed. Ha, I’m a vampire; chances are I’ll die when someone sticks a piece of wood between my ribs.

  Oh yes. The click.

  I don’t know where they came from, but my survival instincts took over. I had already turned to my right, looking down the carpeted corridor when the high-pitched whine started behind the door.

  Vampires can move pretty freaking quick, and I reckon I had taken three, maybe four steps when the door and wall disintegrated, sending shards of wood and metal into the corridor.

  The blast caught me by the waist, and threw me like a crumpled piece of paper. I tumbled and bounced from one wall to the next.

  Even before I’d come to rest, the noise hit me.

  Oh man, the sound; a �
��boom’ so loud and hard, it smashed the insides of my ears into a hundred pieces. But it felt so much more than just a ‘noise’; it sounded like an auditory crescendo at so many levels. High frequency squeals and jabs that hurt my sensitive hearing, and low thundering, earth-shaking tremors that shook the very floor I tumbled over.

  Then quietness.

  Well, not exactly quiet. The sound of a million particles coming back down to earth.

  Large pieces of wood, concrete, and glass falling all around me.

  A cloud of dust billowed along the passageway like a lightning fast tsunami wave. Dust containing glass, insulation fiber, and fiery heat. I breathed it all in, and felt it smash my face as I fell.

  I’m not sure when I passed out, but I’m certain I did from time to time.

  From the depths of my subconscious, I heard footfalls. Vampire feet thumping past me, tripping over me, kicking my body. I knew that I rolled to the side of the corridor to safety.

  I lay on my back, and with no ocular focus and little precision, fired my dart gun through the thick smoke, into the seething mass of bodies that ran away from me. I reloaded, then fired my second gun.

  I witnessed dart after dart hitting vampire bodies, but the dust and the new bodies hid the result of my work.

  Every dart in my pocket, I fired at them. I have no idea how many I hit, but I’m certain I caused a state of confusion in the stairs beyond the smoke.

  Then the fire started.

  A ball of flame, suddenly engulfing the corridor.

  I couldn’t stand, but inched my body backwards on my elbows and heels.

  There’s something intoxicatingly eerie about the sound of a large fire. Flames with no manmade restriction, no control. That loud sound now assaulted my already battered eardrums, throwing yellow and orange flickering lights down the corridor.

  With considerable effort, I got to my feet. I staggered away from the flames, conscious that escape lay in the opposite direction. I glanced back down the corridor. The dust seemed to be clearing, and a figure walked through it, walking slowly towards me. I thought I was seeing things, of all the people I had expected to be coming to my aid.

  Miranda.

  Miranda with the tied-back hair, the smirky smile, and the devil eyes.

  “Miranda.” My voice sounded husky and shallow. I shouted, “Miranda!”

  “Mandy?” She came close. Way too close. “Is that you, dear?”

  I looked over her shoulder, then slowly realized that she’d come on her own.

  I stood alone in a burning building with the woman who’d pulled my teeth and my nails from me. The woman who’d offered my bound and naked body to the Helsing workers, just a few months ago.

  The woman on whom I’d planned revenge so often.

  I gripped her by the jacket lapels, turned, and thrust her into the corridor wall. Drywall and wood behind it gave way. I smashed her head into the wall, and I leaned into her, till my face lay just an inch from hers.

  “Miranda,” I spat onto her face. “Take a good look around. This where you die.”

  Miranda Rights

  It seemed that all the remaining vampires had been hiding on this floor. It seemed like hundreds, but looking back, probably wasn’t even close to that number.

  “Finch!”

  Still no comms. I knew I had to do something, so wincing against being blown to pieces, I let go the door.

  Nothing.

  I got to my feet, but again got buffeted by charging vampires, who obviously couldn’t see me. I ran to the fire door, and somehow got past it, into the stair area, and flattened myself against a wall. At least there I felt safe if the door moved, and the bomb went off. Below me, the crowd of vampires had slowed, the narrow stairway stemming their escape.

  My dart gun seemed to be in my hand before I realized.

  I leant over the small wall and fired into the mass of vampires on the stair.

  ‘Shooting fish in a barrel’, Mandy had often said, and it had never been so clear here.

  I couldn’t miss, there seemed little point in aiming, except to change target.

  I fired my clip of four, then I reloaded. Not the easiest of tasks when the gun, the clip, and your hands are all invisible. I began to walk downstairs, firing my gun as I did so.

  Pfft! Pfft!

  By the time I’d reached the turn, I’d fired twenty-four darts, and there were probably more than twenty shuffling, shambling vampires on the stairs.

  I clipped the gun back on my belt, then started my walk through and over the mass of vampire flesh. Hands gripped instinctively as I passed, but they held no real strength. The Helsing concoction worked deep in their bodies, and I easily kicked my ankles free.

  I considered using the knives, but the specter of Mandy, lying in pieces, drove me forward. I jumped the last four crowded steps, and turned for the exit.

  The corridor beyond my darted melee looked clear, but when I got to the door, I met Mark Brennan and Hideo rushing in.

  “Whoa, guys!” I roared, forgetting that they couldn’t see me.

  “Lyman? Finch?” Mark looked round aimlessly.

  I remembered that he’d think Finch and I were joined at the hand. “We’re fine. The explosion?”

  “It’s at the other building.”

  “We should help.”

  “No, Miranda and her crew are there. Plus there’s the other ground crews. Do you have any more vampires to give us? We have to utilize the confusion.”

  I felt in no mood to argue as to where my services were needed. I could see a bright glow at the distant Alucard West building, and even in the dark, I could discern a considerable column of smoke.

  “There’s a bunch of them, all darted, on the stairs. Don’t go up to the second floor, I’m sure there’s a bomb at the first door.”

  “Okay, give us a hand.”

  I remembered that Brennan would still think Finch and I held hands, the ‘only’ way for me to stay invisible. “We’re going to help Mandy and Valérie.” I shook my head. “We’ve already decided.”

  “No, Lyman! Stay here!”

  “Excuse me, Mark,” I said as I took off to find Mandy. “No offense, but fuck you.”

  I ran past the pair and set off towards Alucard West.

  As I neared the building, it seemed there were vampires everywhere. Some ran around screaming, others milled in groups, or stood singly, looking at the burning building. It seemed that they’d lost the idea of looking for us.

  Suddenly I bumped into someone, well, something, and fell sprawling onto the grass.

  “Finch?” I asked, hoping that it hadn’t been vampire.

  Nothing.

  “Finch?” I said much louder, feeling forward with my hands.

  Nothing.

  I stood, then continued my search. My foot bumped into it again, I felt with my hands, and came across a woman sitting on the ground; invisible, of course.

  I leant down, and felt her head, her hair. It wasn’t Mandy.

  “Finch?” I asked at her ear.

  Her head jerked up. “It’s Valérie!” She really shouted at me.

  “Your ears must be damaged. You’re shouting.”

  “Sorry.” Quieter this time.

  “What happened?” I blurted. “Where’s Mandy?”

  “Don’t know.”

  “Are you hurt?”

  I felt her head shake slightly. “Don’t know.”

  I stood, faced with the fact that my chances of finding Mandy with both of us invisible were astronomically huge. With a heavy heart, I knew my duty lay here; I had to help Valérie.

  “We’ve got to get you to the van.”

  I helped Valérie to her feet, and we set off, my arm under hers, to the nearest van.

  Once we’d reached the back doors, I pulled her close. “Turn us both visible again. We can’t get caught like this.”

  “Yes, Lyman, you’re right.”

  Wink.

  Man, I wished I’d have let her stay invisi
ble.

  Valérie had been burned all across her face, and a good portion of her hair had been singed away. I’m certain that her ear was missing. She saw my expression.

  “Is it bad?”

  I nodded. “Sorry.”

  “No, it’s okay. It felt kinda bad.”

  “You need medical attention.”

  As she shook her head, two Unicorps men arrived, two vampires over their shoulders. “It’s getting bad out there; almost too dangerous to be out. There’s vampires everywhere!”

  “Where’s Miranda?” I asked, looking for anyone with medical knowledge.

  “Who?” the guy looked confused.

  “Doctor Vasquez?”

  “Last I saw her, she was running towards the fire.”

  “Crap.” I turned to Valérie, who now sat on one of the benches inside the van. She didn’t look good. “You need fixing. I’m going to get Brennan. I won’t be long.”

  I filled my pockets with dart cartridges, and reloaded both guns, then I set off at a run. Still frustrated at not being able to look for Mandy, I resigned myself to my task.

  Fix Valérie.

  Miranda, despite her obvious dilemma, crushed into a wall, held up well for a second, then her face twisted.

  But not in fear.

  To my surprise, she grinned. “Not so easy, miss skinny cheeks!”

  With a shove, she pushed me across the corridor, slamming back against the opposite wall. Then she hit me, full force, her hands scrambling at me, searching, then grabbing my by the wrists. Although she had no face to fight against, she proved strong, crushing my back into the wall. Then she flashed her teeth at me.

  Big, white, canine teeth.

  Proud Miranda Vasquez was a fucking vampire!

  She had done all that cruel, vindictive stuff to God-knows how many vampires, and she’d been one of us all the time!

  Her forehead came crashing down on mine, giving my already battered body a cruel blow, and making me see stars for a second.

  “What’s wrong, Miss Cross? Cat got your tongue?” she screamed in my face. Bammo. She head-butted me again, I’m certain that I heard cartilage snap inside my nose.

  “You’re a vampire!” I thrust again, smashing her back across the corridor into the hole in the wall. Wooden studs broke behind her, causing her to call out in pain.