Sydney Harbor Hospital: Zoe's Baby

by Alison Roberts

  ‘Busy day, huh?’ He smiled at the receptionist. This wasn’t the time to take anybody to task for leaving a distressed mother and child without assistance while they had been waiting.

  ‘It was a nightmare,’ the receptionist said. ‘One registrar got called away for something on the ward and another had to deal with a kid who had an epileptic seizure in the toilets and we were running so late.’

  ‘Did Zoe Harper come back again with Emma?’

  ‘Yes.’ The girl gave him a curious glance. ‘Is she a friend of yours?’

  Teo didn’t have time to respond. The cleaner was coming towards the desk.

  ‘I found this under the chair over there,’ the older woman said, holding out a leather wallet.

  ‘Oh, my goodness.’ The receptionist took the wallet. ‘Thank you so much. Someone’s probably worried sick about this.’ She opened the wallet. It had a pocket at the back for notes and slots for credit cards on the other side. In the middle was a plastic-covered pocket for a driver’s licence. ‘Zoe Harper,’ she said in astonishment. ‘Good thing you’re here, Dr Tuala.’

  ‘Is it?’

  ‘Well, she’s a friend of yours. You could take it back to her.’

  ‘I could.’ Teo’s tone was confident. Surely there’d be something in the wallet that would have her address on it? He could drop it off on his way home. He would get to see Zoe again. Even better, he could find out whether she had some support at home in the form of a partner.

  He held out his hand for the wallet. ‘I’m on my way home right now,’ he said. ‘Consider it sorted.’

  CHAPTER THREE

  THE knock on the door couldn’t have come at a worse time.

  Zoe was sitting in the tiny living room of her terraced cottage in one of Sydney’s older suburbs. Emma had been bathed and changed and had just started her final feed for the evening. And, for once, it was going well. Sucking on her bottle, she lay in the crook of Zoe’s arm, staring up at her mother. The memories of the awful morning they’d had in that waiting room were finally beginning to ebb away.

  Zoe couldn’t help jumping at the sound of the knock. Nobody came visiting at this time of day.

  Her first thought was that it could be James and she didn’t want to see him. There’d been undeniable relief on both sides when they’d decided to call it quits on their relationship. James had generously gifted her his share of the hefty deposit they’d put down on this cottage.

  ‘Consider it child support,’ he’d suggested. ‘That way, we can go our own ways with no hard feelings.’

  The gesture had been very generous, considering that Zoe had inherited a piece of land from her grandmother that was probably worth a lot now. Not that she’d had a chance to think about what to do with it with everything else that was happening in her life.

  Even worse than it being James, there was the faint possibility it could be one of her parents, given that she had finally written to them to inform them that they were grandparents. But she hadn’t expected a reply to the letter, let alone a personal appearance. They would see the fact that she was unmarried with a baby as further evidence of the trouble she’d caused from the moment she’d been born. Besides, how many years had it been since her mother had even left the house?

  Zoe didn’t know because she hadn’t been in contact with them since she’d come to Sydney at the age of eighteen to start her training as a paramedic. That had been nearly ten years ago.

  The possibilities flashed through her head so fast, she had considered them both by the time the knocking stopped. Both were enough to make her feel incredibly tense. Emma was still staring up at her but her contented sucking had stopped. She jerked her head back and the teat of the bottle sprang free and sent a spray of milk onto Zoe’s face. Emma’s face was crumpling ominously as a second knock came. Louder and more commanding than the first.

  Her heart sinking, Zoe got to her feet. Emma would be howling by the time she got to the door. If someone was going to try and sell her an encyclopaedia or something, it could very well be the final straw.

  It wasn’t James. It wasn’t her father and, thank goodness, it wasn’t her mother.

  That it was Teo Tuala rendered Zoe completely speechless. He had something in his hand that he was holding out towards her.

  ‘The cleaner found this in the waiting room,’ he said. ‘Good thing you had your driver’s licence in it. Even better that it had your address on it too.’

  ‘Good grief… I thought I’d left it in the car. I was going to go and look for it when I got Emma off to sleep.’

  Which wouldn’t be any time soon. Emma was rubbing her nose against Zoe’s shoulder and her wails were increasing in strength.

  ‘I was just feeding her.’ Zoe couldn’t help sounding defensive. ‘She was perfectly happy a moment ago.’

  ‘And I interrupted by pounding on the door. Sorry.’

  Teo really did have the most glorious smile. It radiated charm with a good helping of contrition this time.

  ‘I’ll get back to it, then.’ Zoe had Emma in her arms. She also still had the bottle in her hand. She hesitated for a second, wondering how to take hold of the wallet. ‘Would you mind putting it on the hall table?’

  ‘Not at all.’ Teo followed her in. He closed the door behind him. He looked around. ‘Nice place,’ he said. ‘I love these cottages. I live in a modern apartment block but only because it’s handy for the hospital. I’ve got a house in Samoa, right by the beach.’

  ‘Oh…’ Zoe had an instant image of a tropical paradise. ‘Do you get back there often?’

  ‘I go back for a week every couple of months. I like to help out at the local hospital as much as I can.’ His smile had a wry curl. ‘It used to be to see all my relatives as well but a whole bunch of them live over here now and the others all come to visit. I’ve got my favourite cousin and her brood arriving tomorrow.’

  He had a voice that was just like his personality, Zoe thought. Deep and rich and warm. It was relaxing to listen to. Even Emma seemed to like it. She was still grizzling but the head rubbing was slower. Suddenly, the awkward thought in the back of her head that she would have to usher Teo out when he seemed happy to stay and talk just melted away.

  ‘Would you like a coffee or something?’ she asked. ‘It’s the least I can do to thank you for coming all this way with my wallet.’

  ‘That would be great.’

  ‘I’ll just need to finish feeding Emma first.’

  ‘No worries.’ Teo followed her into the living area. There was only the one couch in here. Zoe sat on one end, feeling the tilt of the cushions as Teo took the other end. He was so big, it meant that they were sitting very close together. Zoe pushed the awareness away. She tipped Emma back and offered her the bottle again.

  Emma pulled away from the teat, turning her head one way and then the other. Her face got steadily redder as she gathered strength to let Zoe know that this was not going to work.

  ‘I could have a go at that, if you’d like.’ Teo’s tone said it didn’t matter in the least if she didn’t like the idea. ‘Seeing as it was my fault her supper got interrupted.’

  He was offering to rescue her again. Because he thought she was pathetic?

  ‘That way, you could make the coffee.’ She could see a hint of mischief in his smile now. ‘I haven’t had one since about nine o’clock this morning and I’m having serious caffeine withdrawal.’

  Not only was he offering to help, he was making it seem like she was doing him a favour. And did it matter if he thought she was pathetic? Judging by the way he’d handled Emma that morning, Teo was more likely to be successful in getting her fed and settled for the night. And if Emma settled, she would have a good sleep and be easier to look after tomorrow. Zoe would get a good sleep herself. She st
amped on the pride or the need to prove herself or whatever it was preventing her from accepting her visitor’s help.

  ‘That would be great,’ she said, deliberately echoing Teo’s acceptance of her offer of coffee. She handed over her baby and then the bottle. ‘How do you like your coffee?’

  ‘Dash of milk and two sugars.’

  Zoe grinned. ‘Good to see a medical professional setting such a healthy example.’

  ‘My aunties think I’m fading away. They give me six sugars. I’m in a programme to wean myself of the addiction.’ The skin around the corners of his eyes was crinkling into well-worn smile lines. ‘Hello, my name is Teo Tuala and I’m a sugarholic.’

  A snort of laughter escaped Zoe, which made Emma’s head turn. She looked surprised enough to have forgotten why she was crying. Teo eased the teat of the bottle into her open mouth and she turned back, sucking vigorously and reaching up with her hands to help hold the bottle.

  ‘That’s the ticket,’ Teo said approvingly. ‘Good girl, Emma.’

  It didn’t take Zoe long to make the coffee but by the time she brought two steaming mugs back from the adjacent kitchen, Emma had finished her milk. Teo had her upright on his shoulder, and was rubbing her back. Seconds later, Emma burped loudly.

  Zoe shook her head at the ease with which Teo was going through the routine.

  ‘How do you know so much about babies?’

  ‘I’m a paediatrician.’ Teo grinned. ‘There was a class or two about babies, as I recall. I might have even read a book.’

  Zoe didn’t return the smile. ‘I’m a mother,’ she said. ‘And I’ve read every book there is. I can’t handle Emma that well.’

  ‘I’m Samoan,’ Teo said, as if that explained everything.

  Maybe it did. Maybe there was some cultural secret to knowing what to do with babies. If Zoe could find out what it was, it might be the answer to all her problems. Searching his face for a clue, she suddenly realised how long she had been staring at him. She sat down hurriedly, feeling herself blushing.

  The way Zoe blushed was a dead give-away that something had emotional importance. The way she had been looking at him gave Teo a good clue as to what it was. She was lost in her position as a mother. She thought he might be able to help. There was a touch of desperation there that made him want to help. And maybe he did have the answer.

  ‘I didn’t come to Australia until I was eight or nine,’ Teo said, his tone much more sober. ‘In the islands, as soon as you’re old enough, you get to carry around the little kids and feed the babies and so on. Everybody has lots of brothers and sisters, or, in my case, an unlimited number of cousins. Family is everything at home.’

  Not just at home in the islands. Family was everything, end of story. For a mother to be going out to work wasn’t the answer. Especially to a job like the one Zoe had. She was putting herself in danger out there. Maybe it was none of his business but if he could do anything to persuade her there might be another way to regain her self-confidence, he had to try.

  He knew, far too well, just how bad it could be for a child to lose his or her mother.

  ‘I think the secret is just learning to relax. Be confident that you’re doing the right thing because you love them. That’s all that really matters in the end.’

  ‘I do love Emma.’ Zoe was nodding. ‘I do.’ The last words were a whisper, almost as though she was talking to herself. Convincing herself?

  Emma was a heavy, limp bundle on his chest now. ‘I think she’s asleep,’ he told Zoe. ‘Want me to put her down?’

  She nodded. ‘Would you mind? If I take her, she’ll probably wake up again.’

  ‘Show me where her bed is.’

  Zoe led him further down the narrow hallway of the cottage. There was a bathroom at the end of the hallway and two bedrooms on either side before that. He could see a double bed in the room on the right. It had a smooth, white cover and some cushions arranged very symmetrically. The one on the left was beautifully decorated with a teddy-bear theme. The bassinette had a white cover as pristine as the one on the adult bed and Teo could see baby supplies and toys arranged with absolute precision all around him. It looked like an advertisement for the perfect baby’s bedroom.

  It didn’t look as if anyone actually lived in it.

  Zoe turned back the cover on the bassinette and he laid Emma down carefully, on her side. She pulled the cover back up and tucked the edges in carefully. She smoothed the wrinkles on the top, stood back and then bent down. Teo expected to see her kiss her baby goodnight but, instead, she gently stroked the wisps of hair that were curling on her forehead, patting them back to sit in line with the rest of her hair.

  Teo was deep in thought as he went back to the living area. He could see it all around him now. The attention to detail. The effort for everything to be perfect. No wonder Zoe was finding it hard to bond with her baby and be relaxed in her role of a mother. She was attempting the impossible here.

  He knew exactly how he could help her. He also knew it was going to take some careful persuasion.

  ‘How did your session with John go?’ he asked, as they sat down to drink their coffee.

  ‘Good. He’s happy that my being back at work is going well.’ Zoe wouldn’t meet his gaze and Teo knew why. They both knew how concerned John would be if he’d seen how distressed both Zoe and Emma had been that morning. That could well be the key but Teo needed a little time to think about it. He changed tack.

  ‘You’re an amazing housekeeper. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a house that has a baby in it looking this clean and tidy.’

  Zoe flashed him a sideways glance. ‘Is it too tidy? I get the occasional visit from one of the outworkers at the mothering unit. I wouldn’t want them to think I was OCD or anything.’

  ‘They might think you employed a very efficient housekeeper.’

  ‘As if! Paramedic salaries, especially when you’re on maternity leave, don’t run to flash housekeepers.’

  ‘You do get some help, though, don’t you?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Zoe was eyeing him warily. She had the most amazing eyes, Teo realised. Quite a light green, but they had a circle of darker colour around the irises and tiny shards of gold that radiated out from the pupils like sun rays. He’d never seen anything quite like them.

  The expression in her eyes was more than wary now. He could see a flash of fear. Did she think he was implying that she needed help? That social services might swoop in and remove her baby if she was deemed to be coping either so well it seemed pathological or not well enough? He might be getting into deeper waters than he’d intended to here.

  Teo did what he always did when faced with something potentially stressful. He took a deep breath and consciously relaxed. That way, he could get a good look at the bigger picture.

  ‘I meant a partner,’ he said casually. ‘Emma’s dad?’

  ‘Long gone,’ Zoe told him. ‘We were only casually dating when I got pregnant. It was a disaster, really. I thought I was safe being on the Pill and it was that “maybe it’s time to go to bed to see if there’s any real chemistry going on here” kind of sex.’

  ‘And there wasn’t? Any real chemistry?’

  Zoe sighed. ‘Not enough. We had a go of trying to make it work but it wasn’t going to happen. He helped me buy this house in lieu of having to remember he was a father by paying years of child support and that was that. We shook hands and went our separate ways when I was about seven months pregnant.’

  ‘And you haven’t heard from him since?’

  ‘No. I did have the horrible thought it might be him when I heard you knocking at the door, though, and it made me realise that I really don’t want to see him again.’

  Teo wasn’t surprised. Didn’t the man want to know if he’d had a son or a daught
er? That everything had gone well? How could any man go off and pretend it had never happened? Babies were so precious. On some level it was satisfying to know that this James was out of Zoe’s life. He wasn’t good enough for her or Emma.

  Somewhere, in the back of his head, was a buzz that suggested the idea of sex with Zoe would be a very attractive prospect. He needed to distract himself, fast. The last thing Zoe Harper needed was another casual relationship that would probably only serve to strengthen whatever barriers were in place to stop her bonding completely with her baby.

  ‘What about family?’ he asked. ‘They must be thrilled to have Emma around.’

  ‘No family,’ was all that Zoe said.

  Even if Teo couldn’t recognise an untruth, the way the colour flooded Zoe’s cheeks made it clear that this was another emotional minefield. The way her shoulders had hunched indicated a boundary that he had no trouble recognising.

  But he could sense that this was it. The hub of the problem.

  ‘You need a family,’ he told Zoe. ‘And it’s very lucky that you’ve met me.’

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘I have more family than any one person could ever need. You’d be most welcome to borrow it.’

  Zoe’s stare told him that she thought he was crazy but Teo wasn’t deterred.

  ‘I told you my cousin’s coming to visit. Alisi. She’s got a little girl—Kali—who’s not much older than Emma. And a couple of older boys. We’re having a family barbecue next weekend at Coogee beach. Come and join us.’

  ‘Oh, no…I couldn’t possibly.’

  Teo pulled out the big guns. ‘You know what?’

  Zoe wasn’t playing. She was setting her coffee cup down on the table with great care. She even turned it around until she was happy with the angle of the handle. Her lips were pressed together resolutely. She wasn’t going to encourage him by saying no.