There was a tap on the door. Expecting Joshua, she called out, her gaze still fastened on her reflection. A soft, wolf whistle shimmered across her nerves. A thousand butterflies took flight in her stomach. She turned slow and found not Joshua, but Marilou Rivers, Cal’s wife.
“Stay away from my husband,” Marilou said, but her eyes were sparkling with amusement and there was an approving smile on her lips. “You look drop-dead gorgeous. Joshua won’t know what hit him.”
“Are you sure?” Garrett said, her voice filled with uncertainty. “It’s not too much?”
“Maybe for a rodeo, but this is a party. You look perfect.”
“Like a lady?” she said wryly. “That’s what my daughter said. She sounded stunned.”
“You know, Garrett, being a survivor and being a lady aren’t incompatible. It’s just a matter of balance.”
“Maybe. Sometimes, though, I think what Joshua really needs is someone who’s all woman.”
Marilou chuckled. “I suspect you’re as much woman as he could ever hope to handle. Just because you put on jeans and live on a ranch doesn’t mean you can’t be feminine underneath. Since Cal and I got married and I found myself living on a Thoroughbred farm, I’ve taken to wearing the frilliest lace underwear I can find. The first time he discovered that he almost had a coronary. Now every time he sees me in those pants, all he remembers is what I’m wearing under them. Believe me, he never forgets for one single second that I’m a woman.”
Garrett wondered if Joshua always remembered her lace underwear and pink toenail polish when he discovered her in the barn with hay in her hair and dirt streaking her face. Maybe tonight she’d be able to give him new memories to cling to during those times when she was dusty and tired from a roundup. Maybe it was possible to give Joshua the lady he needed without losing her sense of self in the process.
Impulsively she hugged Marilou. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For making a future for Joshua and me seem almost possible.”
There was another tap on the door and this time it was Cal who stuck his head in and whistled. “Wow! Two of the prettiest women in town and they’re hiding out upstairs. Joshua come see the transformation.”
Marilou gave him a mock glare. “I thought you said I was always beautiful.”
“Oh, you are,” he said hurriedly, winking at Garrett. “Must be that the color you’re wearing is particularly flattering.”
“Quick thinking,” Joshua said approvingly as his gaze sought Garrett, who was still standing in the background. When he found her, his eyes widened. Cal and Marilou chuckled.
“Well, he’s down for the count,” Cal said. “Come on, wife. I think I hear our names being called from downstairs. We’d better get there before Grandmother hires an architect to build that house for us.”
When they had gone, Joshua stepped into the room and held out his hands. “Come, let me look at you.”
Garrett took his hands and held on tight.
“Scared?”
“A little.”
“Sweetheart, these are your friends downstairs.”
“But I’m used to running into them in a diner or maybe at the feed store. I’m out of my element on a dance floor.”
“You wouldn’t be out of your element at the White House. I’m very proud to have you on my arm. Now let’s get going before Cal eats all the food.”
“Cal and an entire army couldn’t eat all the food Elena and the caterer have prepared.”
“Elena? I thought the caterer was doing it all?”
“She wasn’t convinced he’d make quite enough. Truthfully, I think she was feeling left out. Mrs. Mac wanted her to feel like a guest tonight, but she was still refusing to leave the kitchen last time I checked.”
“How close did you come to refusing to leave the barn?”
“It crossed my mind, but I figured you and Mrs. Mac would have a posse out after me.”
His gaze lingered on the bare curve of her shoulder, then drifted to the swell of her breast. “There is something to be said about the barn,” he murmured, his breathing a little faster.
“Not on your life. I didn’t get all dolled up to go tumbling into a haystack. Let’s go, Mr. Ames.” She tucked her arm through his and went with him downstairs. Halfway down she realized that the dozen or so early arrivals were all standing at the bottom, all eyes on their descent. It was a wonder she didn’t trip and land in their midst. Joshua gave her fingers a reassuring squeeze.
“Showtime, darlin’. You’re going to knock ’em dead.”
The only impression Garrett really worried about, though, was the one she made on the man by her side. The fact that she cared so much worried her. Her gaze rose to meet Joshua’s and found the sought-after approval blazing in his eyes. Her confidence soared.
“You’re the most handsome man in the room,” she confided, lacing her fingers through his. “I’m very glad to be your date.”
With his gaze locked on hers, he whispered, “We’re going to make it a night to remember.”
After that, everything became a blur. It was nearly midnight when the pace slowed and the band finally struck up the promised waltz. Garrett had sensed Joshua’s increasing frustration with the lively square dances that had filled the evening. Every time the caller had insisted that he change partners, he’d done so with obvious reluctance. His possessive gaze had never strayed from her, especially when she’d been hand-in-hand with Red. Even now he still didn’t fully realize that he had nothing to fear from the foreman. She thought of Red as a wonderful friend, an older brother almost, but nothing more.
Now, though, the first note of the waltz floated on the air and with a gleam in his eyes, Joshua held out his arms. “This is our dance, darlin’.”
Garrett stepped into the embrace, her heart thundering in her chest as his hands settled on her hips and fit them snugly against him.
“Watch it,” she whispered in his ear. “Mrs. Mac will be over here with a ruler in a minute to see that you keep a proper distance between us.”
“She wouldn’t dare. I’ve been waiting all night to hold you like this.” He leaned back just enough to look into her eyes. “Happy?”
“Incredibly,” she said and rested her head on his chest. “It’s been an evening of magic.”
“That’s just what I promised. It could be like this always.”
Oh, how she wanted to believe that. If anyone could convince her, Joshua could. “Always is a very long time.”
“But I’m very good at making magic.”
“You have an ego the size of Texas.”
“It’s not ego if it’s fact.”
“Then it’s just plain old bragging,” she teased, her fingers weaving through the hair that had grown long enough to brush the collar of his shirt. Heat flared in his eyes.
“You still enjoy taunting me, don’t you?”
“As hobbies go, I’ll admit I could find at least a dozen that would be far more boring.”
“There’s a real streak of vamp in you, did you realize that?”
“Is that good?”
He pulled her close again, until his very heat seemed to radiate around her. “Can’t you tell how good that is?”
With a sense of shock, she realized exactly how aroused he was.
“I need you, Garrett. Come away with me.”
“Now?” Longing and the sweet tension throbbing through her warred with duty. She couldn’t disappear from her own party.
“Tomorrow.”
Puzzled she stared at him. There was an unreadable look in his eyes. “Why tomorrow?”
For a moment there was only the rhythmic rise and fall of the music, the gentle sway of their bodies. She could feel his tension, though, and suddenly the worst fear she had ever known spread through her.
She pulled back and accused, “You’re leaving, aren’t you? You’re going back to Florida tomorrow?”
Joshua’s arms merely tightened around her.
>
“Joshua?”
He sighed deeply. “Yes. There’s a meeting on Monday. I have to be there. I have a responsibility to my other clients. I’ve neglected them for far too long.”
“Then by all means go,” she said tightly. “I wouldn’t want to stop you.”
She jerked free and ran through the house; Joshua was right on her heels. If it hadn’t been for that damned ankle, she would have beat him. Instead he caught up with her just outside.
“Garrett, you have to listen to me.”
Her whole body tensed when he touched her. Slowly he turned her around until she was facing him. Her chin rose a notch and she prayed he wouldn’t see the way it quivered. “Why should I listen?” she demanded. “We all knew this moment was going to come. Go. You don’t owe me a thing.”
“No,” he said softly. “I don’t owe you anything, but I do love you.”
“But you love your job more.”
“More?” he said. “You think I love it more than you? More than this?”
He crushed her lips beneath his. Garrett’s breath seemed to die in her throat as he plundered her mouth. She wanted to fight him. She even made one halfhearted attempt to push him away, but the blazing desire that fueled the kiss was persuasive. With a sigh, she gave in to the heat that swirled through her. She twined her arms around his neck and took all that he had to offer. A raging hunger made her needy. Fear made her desperate. He was going to go and there would be no more nights like this, no more kisses, no more gentle caresses or seductive touches. She would be alone again. In that instant of realization, she hated him. She hated him for giving her all of this and then taking it away.
She lifted her hands and touched his face, memorizing the faint lines, the purely male texture, that intriguing hint of some long-ago fight that marred the perfection. A great sadness settled over her.
“Garrett, marry me. Come with me to Florida.”
For one heart-stopping minute the only thing that registered was the proposal. Marry me. Marry me. Joy began to build, chasing away the fear, chasing away the sorrow. Then the rest of his words sank in. He wanted her to leave this place, this haven. He was asking her to give up everything she had fought so hard for. How could he do that, if he truly loved her?
“No,” she said. “I can’t go to Florida with you. I love you, Joshua, but my life is here.”
“Just think about it.”
“There’s no point,” she told him flatly. “Everything I need is here.”
“Not everything. Whether you’re ready to admit it or not, you need me, too. One of these days, you’ll have to admit that. I just hope it’s before it’s too late.”
She shook her head. “I love you, Joshua, but I will never, ever need you. I won’t ever need anyone again.”
He smiled at her wearily. “Maybe one of these days, you’ll see that the two go hand in hand.” He pressed a chaste kiss on her forehead. “I’ll say goodbye before I leave.”
She nodded, then forced herself to stand perfectly still and watch him walk away. Only when he had gone did she allow the first sob to escape. She turned and fled to her house in search of the serenity it had always given her in the past. Tonight, though, the rooms seemed filled with ghostly reminders that she was losing something she might never find again.
Chapter Fourteen
The wind set up an eerie howling. It seemed like an eternity had passed since he’d watched Garrett go into her house. Joshua remained in the shadows, ignoring the freezing night air as he started after her. In his pocket, his fingers curled around the sapphire engagement ring. He should have given it to her. Maybe then she would have believed in him. Wasn’t that what a ring was all about, a symbol of love, of commitment? Maybe it would have made a difference.
Then he recalled the bleak expression in her eyes, the shadow of pain, the accusing hint of betrayal. He sighed deeply and admitted that bits of glass and metal, no matter how precious, would be meaningless to a woman who wouldn’t allow herself to trust anyone. If all these weeks had meant so little to her, there was nothing he could say now to convince her how much he loved her.
A faint whisper of cigarette smoke told him that Cal had joined him. Obviously, Marilou hadn’t caught him or that cigarette would have been history.
“What’s up, pal? Did Cinderella leave the ball?” Cal asked.
“Something like that.”
Side by side, lost in their own thoughts, they stood silently for a time until Cal finally said, “You’re in love with her, aren’t you? Marilou thinks you have been for a long time.”
Joshua sighed. “Since the first time I laid eyes on her, I suppose. I was planning to ask her to marry me tonight.”
“But you didn’t.”
“The timing seemed all wrong. I have to fly home tomorrow and she thinks I’m leaving for good. I tried to get her to come along, but that only made matters worse.”
“Could be that she thinks you expect her to give up her life here. Do you?”
“Would that be so wrong?” he asked angrily. “We could have a wonderful life in Florida. She’d never have to work another day in her life.”
“With any other woman that might be the perfect gift. It might even be the case with Garrett, once you’ve given her some time to adjust to the idea of being idle. I don’t know her well, but from what Grandmother has told me, she’s a woman who very much needs to feel she’s in control of her own destiny. There’s nothing scarier to someone like that than trusting her fate to another person.”
Joshua studied his friend’s face. “Speaking from experience?”
“Absolutely. From the day we met, Marilou always knew what was best for me, how much I needed to feel a part of a family again. I was just too bullheaded to admit it. Once I did, life got a whole lot easier.”
“How’d she persuade you?”
“Patience. Persistence.” He grinned. “And the sweetest damned kisses I’d ever known.” He squeezed Joshua’s shoulder. “In fact, I think that little temptress is waiting for me now. If you have to leave tomorrow, fly back with us, okay? Play your cards right and I’ll even let you hold the baby.”
Joshua grinned at the totally bewitched tone in Cal’s voice. “Is that supposed to entice me?” he teased. “Or scare me to death?”
“Trust me on this. You’ll never experience anything like holding one of your own. I didn’t think it was possible to feel an emotion that powerful. Maybe a sample will give you the patience and persistence you’ll need to stick with Garrett for the long haul. You coming in now?”
“Not quite yet. Thanks for the talk, though.”
“Anytime, pal. Anytime.”
Eventually, when the chill reached deep into his very soul, Joshua went inside, but he didn’t sleep. He spent the next hour prowling the house, hovering near the window that allowed him a view of Garrett’s place and wondering if they were truly meant to be, after all.
When the waiting and worrying finally got to be too much for him, he began to pack. It didn’t take nearly long enough. He carried his bags down to the foyer and placed them by the door. He would have left right then, but his promise to Garrett held him back. He had told her he would come by to say goodbye. If he failed even at that, she would convince herself that all the rest had been lies, as well.
At loose ends until the rest of the household awoke hours from now, he suddenly remembered the cabin. He and Garrett had shared only one night there, but they had been happy. It was the night he had discovered he was capable of love. It was the night Garrett had lost herself to passion, had dared to let him see her vulnerability. He needed to recapture that fleeting moment of trust, needed to remind himself of what he’d been fighting for. Recalling the provisions they’d used and the laundry that Elena had done, he went into the kitchen and stocked a box with new supplies. He found the neatly folded stack of clean sheets, towels and borrowed clothes in the laundry room.
A few minutes later he was on his way. With the roads no longer hazard
ously covered with ice, the trip took less than a half hour. He pulled the car onto the shoulder alongside the creek and set out on foot. The full moon made the path through the cottonwoods easy to follow.
It took two trips to get everything to the line shack. Once inside, with the door closed behind him against the bitter wind, he felt the cabin’s peaceful spell begin to weave its way around him again. Memories came flooding back, images of Garrett’s face glowing with passion, of her provocative touches, her sweet kisses. Joshua groaned as need rocketed through him. Damn the woman for captivating him! Any other woman on earth would have been less trouble. Any other woman would have meant less confusion, less heartache.
No other woman would have done.
Not ready to let go of the memories just yet, he started the fire and took off his jacket. He made a pot of coffee, then began putting the supplies away and remaking the bed.
When the cabin was once again as they had found it on that night that had sealed their fate so firmly in his heart, he sat on the sofa and stared at the crackling flames. He thought of his fancy apartments, his expensive furnishings and realized this simple place, after just that one night, felt more like home to him now. Because of Garrett. In his mind, on that night they had become a family, husband and wife in every way that counted. No ceremony would unite them any more meaningfully. If only he could make her see that.
He touched the flannel shirt she’d worn that night, the one that had skimmed and revealed and taunted. The fabric was softer now and smelled of something sweet, something not nearly as sensual as Garrett. With a sigh, he slid down and rested his head against the back of the sofa. He rubbed a cuff of the shirt against his cheek and wondered again how something so right could be turning out so wrong. He still hadn’t come up with an answer by the time he fell into a fitful sleep.
Joshua and the Cowgirl Page 15