Never Kiss an Exile: Exile Love Biker MC Series Book 1

by Kara Summers

  I stood and nodded. “Let me go get the gentleman of this house.”

  “You do not need to do that. He’s already approved us to take her away.”

  “Did you talk to him today?” I asked.

  He hesitated.

  “No.”

  “Then you’ll wait,” I said firmly. “You should at least allow him to say good bye.”

  “We’ve already put off taking her away for more than two weeks to accommodate your needs!” he said, irritated.

  “Then ten more minutes should not hurt a thing! This woman was practically his mother for God sake!” I snapped.

  He was about to reply when the door creaked open again and Jasper came through. He looked between me and the man who was standing just in front of me, his hands shaking at his sides.

  “Is there a problem here?” he asked.

  The undertaker glanced at Jasper, teeth clenched. “Are you the man of the house?”

  “I am,” he said, brows furrowed.

  The undertaker pulled at his blazer and turned to leave, clearly upset. Jasper frowned and watched him go, pointedly not looking at the body of the woman he considered his mother. It was still in relatively good condition since I had my ways of persevering bodies. The undertaker’s office was still trying to figure out how I did it, but they’d come up empty handed every time they tried. I had no intention of telling them either. Autopsies were still frowned upon and I had an inkling that they would not have liked it if they knew I covered the bodies in strange chemicals to make them less appealing to bugs.

  As the undertaker left, Jasper walked over to me, frowning. “What was that?”

  “He was trying to take her away.”

  “Well, that’s his job,” he said, the sadness leaking into his voice.

  I hesitated and sighed. “I figured you would want to say goodbye,” I said softly, glancing at the body behind me.

  He stiffened and looked away. “I do not want to.”

  I reached out and took his hand. “Listen, I know it’s hard, but if you do not do this you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.”

  “How do you know that?” he asked.

  “I’ve seen this one too many times. Trust me. You do not want them to take her out of here without tying up the loose ends.”

  He did not argue with me, but I could tell he was still hesitant. I released him and went over to the body, covering it with a blanket I’d been using to lock in the chemicals. After she was covered, I led him over to her and he stared down at the unmoving body. He opened his mouth as if to speak but nothing came out. I wasn’t about to rush him. I held his hand, doing my best to be supportive.

  Finally, he released my hand and swallowed, kneeling down to press a kiss to the old woman’s forehead, tears in his eyes. He pushed himself back up and walked out of the greenhouse. I followed close behind, nodding toward the undertaker as we left.

  “Why did you do that?” Jasper whispered.

  “What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

  “Why did you make me say goodbye?” he huffed.

  I took a step back, shocked by his sudden display of anger. “I was trying to help.”

  “You didn’t help. I did not want to see her again. I did not want to see her like that!” he snapped, throwing his arm out towards the greenhouse.

  My frown deepened and I took a step back. “Jasper. I wasn’t-,”

  “Stop. Just stop and go. You’ve done enough,” he said roughly.

  “Do you mean that?”

  “Of course I mean it! You came in here and you clouded my head with that fiery hair and beautiful face. I realize now that I can’t control myself around you. You make me feel things-” he caught himself, turning to look at me, his eyes wide. “It was a mistake asking you to come here.”

  I was shocked by the sudden turn of events. My stomach rolled and I swallowed thickly, taking a step back. “Very well,” I whispered, my voice choked. “I did not realize I was such an inconvenience. You certainly did not mind having me in your bed-”

  “You’re like every other woman,” he whispered, looking down at me. “You’re trying to trick me.”

  “Trying to trick you how? I was trying to help you!” I nearly shouted.

  “I do not need your help! You do not know what’s best for me! You probably made up that silly story last night just to get into my bed. You’re here for my money! That’s all anyone wants. You probably want me to fund that silly detective agency of yours!” he said cruelly.

  I took a step back, my hand pressed to my chest. I could hardly believe what I was hearing. I had no idea what had brought on his sudden aggression. I hadn’t done anything to deserve this. My bottom lip trembled just a little, though I tried desperately to hide it.

  “Was this your plan all along? Get me in your bed and then throw me out? Why? To humiliate me? To show me that you can have any woman you want?”

  “I can have any woman I want,” he said slowly, his words deliberate.

  The words made my blood boil. I reached out, my hand connecting with cheek hard enough for the sound to echo through the yard. There were so many things I wanted to shout at him, but I was too hurt to get them out. I would not have said that we were falling in love, but it felt like we had something, some sort of connection. Now he was willing to throw me out of his life?

  Well I wasn’t about to be thrown out. I was going to walk out with my pride and my dignity.

  Chapter Twelve

  I managed to pack my things up before the undertaker left. He was hesitant, but agreed to give me a ride back to town when I offered him a little too much money. I did not care, though. I had plenty of money. I wasn’t even planning on collecting from Jasper. If he thought this was about the money, I was going to prove him wrong.

  I forced myself to keep a brave face all the way back to the city. The undertaker seemed unnerved by my silence and it seemed he was readying himself to ask me a question, but every time he opened his mouth he closed it again, clearly deciding against pressing me for answers.

  Once we arrived in town I hopped down from the carriage and offered a halfhearted thank you before hauling myself back into my office. I wanted to check on things before I went up to the flat. I was surprised to see a candle still burning when I went inside.

  Ivana glanced up from the desk and frowned. “You’re back early. Did you figure out who killed the old woman?”

  “No. I was kicked out before I could finish my investigation.”

  She jumped up from her chair and looked at me for a long moment. “Kicked out? What in the world happened?” she asked quickly, pulling up a chair so that I could sit in it.

  I settled in the chair thankfully and put my head in my hands, finally allowing my walls to break down. Silent tears poured down my cheeks and I just shook my head.

  “I was so stupid, Ivana,” I whispered, looking up at her helplessly.

  She frowned and sat beside me, wrapping her arms around me, kissing my forehead and trying to calm me. “Shhh. What do you mean, darling?”

  “I slept with him.” I almost started laughing hysterically when the words left my lips. “I got in his bed and I do not know what came over me! I should have known he’d kick me out as soon as he got what he wanted,” I whispered.

  She watched me closely for a long moment and sighed, finally wrapping her arms around me. “It’s okay,” she murmured. “You did not do anything wrong. Sometimes those types of feelings and urges are hard to ignore.”

  “I just thought that there was actually something between us. He made me feel good. I know I wasn’t there for long, but there was a spark. I know it’s stupid. I can’t explain it, but he made me smile and laugh.”

  I had all but given up on love for myself. I was starting to believe my nanny’s words. Maybe boys really didn’t want girls like me. Maybe boys wanted girls with pretty curls and delicate hands. No one wanted a girl with a brain and blood stains on her dress. I’d understood this from an
early age, but it did not bother me until now. It did not bother me because I’d never met a man with giving up everything else for.

  Ivana seemed at a loss and just wrapped her arms around me, kissing my temple gently. She rocked me back and forth, sighing. “It’s going to be okay. You do not need him,” she whispered.

  I nodded and gripped her arm, smiling weakly. “I have you right?”

  “You’ll always have me.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  The days went on and I heard nothing from Jasper’s estate. When I came back to the city, I tried my best to forget him. I tried to wipe him from my brain and ignore the way my soul and my body ached for him. I wasn’t one to believe in senseless romance, but this had seemed like fate. A part of me wondered if I should not go back and try to mend our fleeting relationship. Every time I nearly talked myself into it, a voice would pipe up and tell me not to. My pride was winning the battle against my heart.

  Instead of confronting my feelings, I buried myself in work, doing my best to ignore the way his laughter was stuck in my mind. I still refused to say I was in love, though I could handle admitting I was at least smitten with him. I wanted to fall in love with him desperately, though I did not think I was ever going to get the chance.

  Months passed and I heard no word from him. I took his silence as a cue that I should forget whatever had been between us and move on. I was trying my best to do just that but every time I would have a moment of peace and quiet, my mind would wander right back to him.

  I was having one of those very moments, reading through a few documents, when a clap of thunder crashed overhead. I cursed softly under my breath and shook my head, disappointed in myself for getting frightened by the thunder. My mind was wandering and making me irrational.

  The rain was really coming down and I could hear it slamming into the side of my office. The trees outside were swaying back and forth to the point of nearly snapping in two. It looked like hell was coming down out there.

  I frowned a little and sighed, starting to blow out candles. Ivana had gone home a bit early so she would not get caught in the storm and I was more than a little glad that I’d made that executive decision. I would not have wanted her to get stuck in this. It was dangerous.

  The shutters were starting to bang against the side of the building and it made me wince every time. I signed the last bit of my paperwork and stood from the desk, going around and closing the shutters one by one. At the last window, I noticed someone standing in the distance. They were wrapped in a dark cloak so it was hard to see them, but it was clearly a person moving through the storm.

  I gasped and ran to the door, grabbing my own cloak and throwing it over my shoulders. Bits of buildings were starting to fly off and I was afraid the traveling stranger might get hit with tin and wood. As I ran forward it became apparent the person wrapped in the cloak was a man.

  Once I got close enough for him to hear me, I called out to him. “HELLO!”

  He looked up at the sound of my voice and my heart nearly stopped. Standing in front of me was a painfully familiar face.

  “Jasper?”

  “I needed to see you.”

  Why in the world had he come all this way?! He could have summoned me with a letter. And why was he walking? I had plenty of questions, but those could be asked later. I grabbed him and pulled him toward the office. When we were finally inside I slammed the door closed and spun around to look at him.

  “Are you insane?” I asked him. “It’s the worst storm I’ve ever seen out there. Why are you walking around in it?”

  He closed what little space there was between us, and pressed a firm kiss to my lips. For a moment I just melted into that kiss, whimpering softly, my fingers curling in his soaked shirt. When I came back to my senses I pushed him away, eyes wide with shock.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” I whispered, my hands and lips shaking.

  “I needed to see you,” he repeated.

  “You could have sent a letter or a telegram!”

  “I mailed you so many letters after you left, but you never responded.”

  My brows furrowed. “I didn’t get any letters.”

  “I must have sent you ten! When you did not respond I figured that whatever we had was too broken to mend. I tried to accept it, but I could not. I just could accept that that was how this was going to turn out. I had to see you in person,” he said, reaching out and taking my hand.

  I looked at his hand tangled in mine and my heart began to beat faster. I’d hoped for this. I’d dreamed of this, and now that it was finally happening, I did not know what to do. I was still hurt by his words the morning I’d left his home, but I couldn’t let him go again.

  “I made a horrible mistake, I should not have said those things,” he said firmly.

  “Then why did you?” My voice was far weaker than I would have liked it to be.

  He just shook his head slowly. “Because I’m an idiot.”

  The admission forced a strangled laugh from me as I was desperately trying to contain the emotions that were bubbling up to the surface. Jasper must have sensed my nervous energy. He reached out and cupped my cheek, turning my gaze back toward him so that our eyes met.

  “I made a mistake,” he admitted again. “When I’m with you, I feel things I’ve never felt before and it frightened me. I’ve never had such deep feelings for anyone before in my life,” he said, stroking my hair. “I was afraid to feel those things because I was afraid of being hurt. I’ve loved before and I thought it made me weak. She used me and she made me feel like I was worthless. I was afraid of feeling like that again.”

  My face softened and I reached out to touch his cheek. “Oh Jasper, I would never-”

  He put his hand over mine and closed his eyes, nodding. “I know. It was my fault. It was my fault for even daring to think that you might be anything like that devil woman. That’s why I knew I had to come here.”

  I smiled weakly. “You should not have come out in the storm. And why in the world where you walking?”

  “The thunder scared my horse. He knocked me off and galloped away,” he murmured, turning around to show me his bloody shoulder.

  I gasped and took his hand, guiding him to the lounge where my clients waited to see me. He settled on a chaise as I fetched everything I’d need to patch him up. I wasn’t a doctor by any means, but you could not get very far in my field without at least a little bit of medical training. I went to work on his shoulder, cleaning the wounds carefully and covering them with a bandage.

  Once I was done mending him, I allowed myself to take in his perfect form. A part of me felt embarrassed at the feelings that welled up inside of me. My cheeks burned and I reached out to touch his firm chest. He was so warm and so solid. It made me want to beg him to hold me.

  He turned and looked at me, brows furrowed in worry. “Are you alright?”

  I nodded silently and put my hand to his cheek, pulling him close and kissing him gently. Perhaps I was being foolish, but I did not really care. I believed every word he said. Why else would he be so desperate to get to me? The silent bond between us was too strong to ignore.

  He turned and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into another kiss. My body came alive and my eyes fluttered open and as I gazed into his. I somehow knew that he was the only man I’d ever need or want. I hated to admit it, but I was in love.

  I opened my mouth to say something profound about the realization that I’d just come to, but only a single word left my lips.

  “Jasper.”

  He put his hand over mind and I felt so small. The world had always been so cruel to me because of who I was. I wasn’t the type of woman who would bend to anyone’s will, especially a man’s, but I turned to jelly in his hands. He wrapped his free arm around me and held me close. There were tears in my eyes as I ran my fingers through his hair. I’d been afraid that I’d never see him again or that I’d never touch him again, but here he was, right where he belong
ed.

  “I’m sorry. What I said was stupid,” he murmured, looking up at me.

  I smiled weakly and kissed his forehead. “It’s true, though. You could have any woman you wanted.”

  “I don’t want any woman. I want you.”

  My heart fluttered and I laughed a little, trying to hid the emotion on my voice. “Maybe I’ll consider taking you back.”

  He took my hand from his cheek and brought it to his lips. “I would be the luckiest man in the world if you did.”

  It was those lines that got me every time. I was completely helpless against his smooth tongue and those puppy dog eyes. He knew how to draw me in without a fight. I put my head on his chest, laying out on the chaise. It felt good to be like this. Maybe I could forget murder and mayhem for a while and just be happy. My job involved me confronting the worst people in the world and dealing with the things they did. It made it hard to sleep at night, but at the end of the day I knew that it was what I was meant to do. No matter how hard it became, this was what I was meant to do and I was going to continue bringing justice to the world until I took my last breath.

  I reached up and put a hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath my fingertips. “Jasper?”

  “Yes?”

  “Don’t ever leave?”

  “You have my word,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Over the next few days, I gave Ivana some time off and I took some time as well. Jasper and I spoke about what was to happen next, and he told me that he wanted me to come back home with him. There was still the issue of his nanny’s death and when I brought it up he seemed pained over it, but told me that he would not expect me to investigate. He knew that too much time had passed. I’d started to make some headway on the investigation, but I had been left with a set of prints that did not match any of the samples that I’d taken.

  Despite the fact that Jasper told me not to worry about the investigation, I started to pack up the equipment I would need to continue searching for her killer. Despite everything that happened, I could not stop thinking of the person who’d broken into my room that night. The more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was a woman. I knew that the investigation would not be my main reason for going back with Jasper, but it could not hurt to work on it while I was there.