by Layla James
“You sure it looks good? It doesn’t have any of those grammatical mistakes does it? I don’t want her to know I’m stupid.” Liam says.
“You’re not stupid, Liam. It looks fine. She’ll love it.”
He seals the envelope and tosses it on his desk. “Thank you for helping. I appreciate it.”
I shrug. “No problem. Oh, I almost forgot. Hayden has a big shiner on his eye. Looks like somebody’s new name should be Rocky.”
Liam smirks. “Well, that’s what he gets for messing with my girl. I should have beaten his ass a little more.”
I try to push away the words ‘my girl.’ It makes me giddy. “He kind of come up to me today wanting to get back together.” I intertwine my fingers and look at the ground.
Liam is deathly quiet. Its torture, I finally look up at him. “What did you tell him?”
“I told him I was with you,” I whisper. I told him the truth. I am with you.
Liam clears his throat. “Katy---,” Liam says, standing up. His mouth is opened, hand running through his hair.
Tears build in my eyes. “No, it’s okay. I know we’re just pretending,” I chock out. I turn on my heel. “I think I’m going to go, okay?” I can’t stand staying her knowing he doesn’t care about me, like I care about him.
I’m to the door when Liam wraps his hand around my waist and pushes me against the door. He’s breath is hot on my face. “Katy,” he whispers. I can’t look away from his lips. They’re parted and close to my mouth.
“Hmm,” I say, finally looking up at him.
“Tell me you want me to,” he says, leaning close to my mouth. “Tell me it’s not pretend, please. Just tell me.”
Oh, God. “I--I want you to,” I say. “I want you to kiss me. I don’t want it to be pretend.” It hasn’t been pretending for a long time, for me.
Liam smiles, leaning down until his lips rest on mine. I melt within myself. Of course I’ve kissed Liam before, but this time is different. I feel it’s real. It is real. He said it was real, sort of.
I open my mouth, allowing him access, when his tongue brushes my bottom lip. He pushes me harder against the door, one hand on the small of my back the other tangled in my hair. He kisses me and I can’t seem to get enough. I push harder against him. Liam sighs, reaches behind me and holsters me up, encircling my legs around his waist. He is walking but I’m too enthralled with his mouth to open my eyes and see.
I feel the bed placed below me and I sink into the soft comforter. Liam rest on top of me, his hard body Heaven on mine.
“Jesus, Katy,” Liam breaks from my lips and whispers in my hair. “I don’t know how Hayden ever gave this up. What an idiot.”
I close my eyes and sigh. All I’ve wanted is to feel wanted by him. He is the only thing that matters. Liam pulls himself off of me, wrapping his arms around my stomach and pulling me toward him.
We lay quietly for a few minutes. “What does this mean?” I whisper.
“What do you want it to mean?” He nuzzles into my hair. God, he smells good.
I shrug and pick at the fuzz on his comforter. “I’m not sure.”
He laughs, and turns me to face him. “I like you,” he says. “A lot.”
“I like you, too.” So…?
“Well…” he trails off for a moment, “I think that means we really like each other, we’re not pretending anymore. At least I hope it means that.”
I hear the Heavenly chorus. “I think that’s what that means, too.”
He smirks. “I always knew you wanted me,” he says.
I roll my eyes. “Liking you less by the second.”
“Sure.” He winks.
Chapter Eight
My head is still spinning when I get to my house. Liam kissed me because he wanted to and not because he was required to. I’m still smiling when I go upstairs to my room. I lay on my bed, looking up at the ceiling. It’s like a dream. A stress less surreal dream. I’m smiling like an idiot when I hear the floor creak.
“Katy,” I hear, softly. The voice sounds familiar but far away. Wait, I know that voice.
I sit straight up in my bed. Hayden is standing at the door, hands shoved in his pockets. “How did you get in?”
He smirks. “I know where the spare key is. I didn’t just forget, ya know.” I’m not going to look into what he exactly means by that sentence.
I mentally groan. What the hell is he doing here? Why is he here to mess up my perfect dream life, I have going. He looks so innocent, a small smile on his face, his green eyes large. I used to would have died to see him look at me like that just one more time. But now, I can’t make myself want him. It makes me angry. I want to punch him in the throat.
“You have to leave, Hayden. I’m busy. You shouldn’t be here. You’re making things more complicated than they have to be.”
“Yeah, really looks like it. Daydreaming and all. Heavy stuff.”
I roll my eyes. Smartass.
“Were you with Liam just now? I’ve been waiting for hours.” Hayden walks toward me. “Come on, you can’t tell me that you like him more than you like me. You love me, I love you, that outweighs liking somebody, right?” Dumb. “It should. If you’re smart you’ll realize that.”
Guess I’m dumb. I shake my head. “Hayden, listen, I’ve wanted you to come back to me, crawling on your knees-.”
“’I’ll do it,” he says, squatting down on his knees. “Please, baby. I’ll crawl, beg, whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it.”
I close my eyes. I slap his hands away when he tries to touch me. “Hayden, you killed me. On the week my dad left, too. I felt like my entire world was falling into a million pieces. He hasn’t even called me. He is gone, you were gone. It just made it all worse.”
“Your dad…oh God, Katy. I’m so sorry.” I push him away at first, I don’t want him to touch me. “Katy, shhh,” Hayden says,
I cry. I’m not sure why I can’t make is stop, but the tears just fall hard. “Everything just went to Hell, Hayden. You just left, like I wasn’t anything. You took all of me and left. My dad took my entire being, my soul, and is moving to Florida with it.”
Hayden frowns, reaches up and pulls me down to him. He wraps me in his arms and rocks me back and forth. I want to pull away, I want to tell him to get out, to get out of my life, I want to punch him, but I don’t. I let him hold me. “I’m so sorry, Katy. I had no idea. I can’t believe he left.” Of course he didn’t. I didn’t tell him, because I didn’t want his pity.
I sob harder. Everyone lately has been sorry. I press my head in the crook of Hayden’s neck and smell his cologne. I used to love it, now I wish it was Liam’s ocean scent. I wipe my face and try to control myself. “Hayden, I think I want to be alone.”
He frowns and hugs me tighter. “I will hold you all night if you want me to, I don’t have to leave. I’m here for you, always.”
“Yeah, you do, you need to leave,” I hear from the door.
I freeze. Pins and needles shutter down my body. I glance over Hayden’s shoulder at Liam. His eyes are narrowed, cold and he has my cell phone in his hand. “You left this at my house, when we were making out on my bed. Or did you forget?”
My face heats. Damn it, Liam. I stand up and wrap my arms around my waist. Liam is glaring at Hayden, it’s ferocious. “Liam, calm down, it’s not--,”
“Get out of my girlfriend’s room, right now. I want say it again.”
“Dude, she doesn’t want me to go,” Hayden says.
“Yeah, I kind of--,”
“Get out, before I beat your ass again,” Liam is yelling. Liam turns to me. “Did you invite him, Katy? Huh, did you?”
“No! He just barged into my room!” I throw my hands in the air. “I wouldn’t invite him, you know it.”
“How the hell did you get in?” Liam asks.
“I did date her for a year; I know where the spare key is.” Hayden leans in, cupping a hand over his mouth and whispers, “it’s under the potted plant on th
e back porch.” I’m surprised Liam doesn’t knock him out. I’m actually kind of waiting on it.
Liam grits his teeth and takes a step forward. “I’m not going to say it again, get the hell out of here now.”
Hayden looks at me, rubbing his hand on my shoulder. “If you need anything, just call, you know my number.”
“She won’t need anything,” Liam says, before I get a chance to answer. “Now, get the fuck out.”
Hayden smiles down at me, then looks at Liam and smirks. I feel like throwing up. When Hayden is out of the door, Liam finally looks back up at me. “Liam,” I say. “He just walked in; I didn’t even know he was coming.”
He shakes his head, his face twisting into a painful sneer. “Katy, did he make you hug him? Did he make you cry on his shoulder? Because it didn’t look to forced to me.”
“Liam no, I--,”
“Just stop,” Liam interrupts me. “I should have known this is what you were doing all along. Still trying to make him jealous. Well,” he throws his hands up in the air, “you have successfully ruined our relationship; the douche bag wants you back now. You can have him. He is all yours.”
Tears are rushing down my face. “No, please, stop, don’t go. Liam, please.” I pull at his shirt, but he snatches his arm away from me.
“There is no need in pretending anymore, Katy. It’s over.” He tosses my cell phone on the bed. I watch his face, hoping there is one ounce of compassion in it. If there is, he’s hidden it well.
Liam turns and leaves. Walks away from me.
Chapter Nine
Liam won’t answer my phone calls. I sit on my bed the rest of the night crying. I tell Mom that I’m cramping. She believes me, she goes back down stairs.
I cry until I can’t cry anymore. My eyes hurt, my chest hurts worse. I don’t know what time it is before I drift to sleep but my alarm wakes me a seven. I lay in my bed looking at the ceiling.
“Sweetie, are you---oh Katy, what’s wrong with you, baby?” Mom barges into my room. She sits beside me, resting the back of her palm on my forehead. “You don’t have a fever. What’s going on? Do you feel sick?”
“Liam, he broke up with me,” I whisper. “Just like that, broke up with me.”
“Ah, honey,” Momma says. “What happened?”
“Hayden came over, he just let himself in and then Liam saw him in my room and thought that something was going on. It wasn’t. I don’t want to make Hayden jealous, anymore. I really like Liam. I just want to be with him. Why can’t he understand that?”
“I know, baby. But, you need to get up and go to school, okay? Sitting in your room won’t make it any better, I promise. Go have a fun day at school with Jen.”
Fun? At school? Has she missed the last two weeks of my life? I want to scream. “Alright Momma, I’ll go,” I say, only because I know she won’t let me stay.
After I drag myself through my morning ritual, I drive myself to school. Liam’s Jeep isn’t in the parking lot. He has missed almost all this week of school and my mom won’t let me miss one freaking day. I guess that’s a perk of having parents that don’t care; you get to do what you want to do.
“You look terrible,” Jen says when I open my car door. “Terrible, what happened? I heard Holly broke up with Hayden? That’s what he gets,” she says. “Now he is probably scouting for the next girl that will give him any attention.”
I nod.
“Okay, tell me, what’s going on?” she asks, turning me to face her. “You haven’t said anything and I know you’re doing a happy dance on the inside about Hayden. How could you not?”
“Liam broke up with me.”
“What?” Jen yells. “Why? I thought everything was going good? You want me to call my Asian cousins in L.A? They can whoop some serious ass. Even though my mom would whoop my ass if I even tried to call them. Last time she made me sit in my room in the corner all day. She said she wouldn’t have me associating with those hooligans, even if they were her sister’s children.”
I force a smile. “No, it’s okay. No need to sit and face the wall again. Hayden bursts into my room and then Liam came in. It was so stupid. I tried to get him to listen to me, but he won’t.”
“And it doesn’t look like he’s showed up for school, either.” She glances around before opening the school’s front door. “That sucks. Maybe he is just running late. Maybe you will see him today. And talk it out? Yeah, maybe he has cooled down and you can talk it all out.”
I nod. “Yeah, maybe” Maybe not.
When I get to class I see Hayden sitting across the room. I avoid eye contact. It’s thirty minutes into class and I’ve felt five paper wads hit my head and my phone has buzzed eight times.
“Mr. Hayden,” the teacher finally yells, slamming her fist down on the table. “Could you please leave this poor girl alone?”
Hayden’s face is red when I finally look over at him. I kind of feel bad. His girlfriend did dump him and know he gets called out in front of the class. But, that’s no worse than him worrying about my reputation because it affects him, not to mention him dumping me like I’m a sack of potatoes.
“Um, yes ma’am, sure. Sorry to interrupt.”
She rolls her eyes and goes back to writing on the board.
Hayden doesn’t bother me for the rest of the period.
Time is dragging on. There is still no sign of Liam. He hasn’t text me back, called or even emailed me. I was hoping for any of them. By the time Science gets here I’m completely tired and sick of the day.
“Still no sign of him?” Jen leans back and asks.
“Nope, no sign of him,” I whisper.
She shrugs her shoulders. “I bet he is just cooling off. He probably just needs some time. I think so.”
“Probably so,” I say.
Mr. Fringe starts to call the roll. I say my name and give him a little shrug when he calls Liam’s. I don’t really hear what Mr. Fringe is saying. I can’t make myself care. I’m halfway through the lesson when I hear some whisper my name. I turn back and Justin is smiling at me.
“Guess since Hayden is single now, you’re gonna jump back to him?” Justin says.
My face heats. I flip him the bird. “No thanks, heard everyone has already had it.”
“Fuck off,” I yell, standing up. “I’m so sick of you. I don’t know why you insist on being mean to me. I’ve never done anything to you.”
“Just telling the truth, sweet cakes. Everyone is thinking it, just too scared to say anything.”
“Sit down, Katy. And shut up Justin. I don’t want to hear a word from either of you two again.”
Anger roars in me. I ignore Mr. Fringe. His voice is fading out. I just want to hit him. Without thinking this through, I pick up my Science book and hurl it at his head. It hits the tip of his eyebrow. “Shit! Stupid bitch.”
“Out! Both of you now!” Mr. Fringe is pointing his finger toward the door. His face is red and I think he is on the verge of screaming. I turn on my heel and stomp toward the principal’s office.
Mr. Fringe is in there a while with Justin. I hope that means bad for him. He starts it every time. Thirty minutes later Justin walks out, a scowl on his lips. He stops in front of me. I look around him, begging someone to help me. He looks like he wants to punch me. I’m pretty sure he’d take me out too. “I’m sorry,” he blurts out.
“What?” I ask.
“Sorry, I won’t say it again.” Mr. Fringe walks up behind Justin and nudges him. He groans. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called you those names.” He turns around and gives Mr. Fringe the fakest smile I’ve ever seen.
“Okay, good enough, go,” he says, pointing down the hall.
When Justin leaves I suddenly wish he would come back and block me from Mr. Fringe’s disappointed stare. “Katy, what has gotten into you?” he asks, shaking his head.
I guess it’s a rhetorical question because he sends me in the principal’s office. I’ve only ever been in here when I received the honor
roll and got an award. I’m not a trouble maker.
Mrs. Shaw is a very manly woman. Her dark eyebrows are heavy, her lips are full and she has a wide set nose. “Katy Taylor take a sit, dear.”
I sit down, feeling small compared to her and her huge desk. Who needs a desk that big? “So, Mr. Fringe tells me that you threw a book at Justin, Katy?” She looks down at me. It’s very intimidating.
“Um,” I whisper, looking over at Mr. Fringe. If he wasn’t here I might try to cry or lie. But, I don’t dare risk it. “Yes, ma’am, I threw my book at Justin.”
“You made him bleed.”
I did? Damn I wish I would have gotten to see it. “I guess, I didn’t see it.”
“Hmmm,” she says, intertwining her fingers that look like white tootsie rolls. It’s weird that her hands are so large and her fingers so small. “Did you hear me, Katy?”
“Um, no ma’am.”
She sighs. “You’ve never been in trouble. I hate to let you go with a harsher punishment that you deserve. So…I’m going to have you go back to class and apologize to the students. Then after lunch you have to go home for the rest of the day. Cool off.”
Whoever told teachers, sending a child home is punishment was seriously high. I smile. “Thank you Mrs. Shaw. I appreciate it.”
“I won’t see you back here again, will I?”
I shake my head. “No, ma’am.”
She nods. “Okay, then you’re dismissed.”
I nod and walk out of the office. Mr. Fringe follows me out. He walks beside me in silence. I wish he would say something. When we get to the classroom, Mr. Fringe grabs my shoulder. “Katy, I know you were sticking up for yourself. You understand I had to send you to the principal’s office don’t you?”
“I understand, Mr. Fringe.”
He smiles. “Well, off the record, I’m glad you threw that at him. He deserved it.” I laugh. “Now, get in there and apologize to the class. Since I’m sure they’re all so torn up that they got out of learning about sex.”