Fangs for Freaks

by Serena Robar

  I straightened up a bit when I finally caught on to what Carl was insinuating.

  “You know, I was feeling a little hungry. It would be a shame to waste such a nice evening.”

  He nodded in my direction. “I could feed.”

  I nodded to him as well. “Sure, so could I.”

  We didn’t say another thing for the rest of the drive. Carl parked his car in front of Psi Phi House and got out. I scrambled to join him and we both turned toward the university instead of the House.

  “You know, Colby,” Carl remarked loudly, “I’m worried what a toll this entire Tina thing is having on you. You look positively awful.”

  I was about to tell him to keep it down, I wasn’t deaf, when it occurred to me he was being loud on purpose.

  “Uh, oh yeah. I barely have any strength with the stress of this job and all.” I winked at him to show him I was on board with the subterfuge but he rolled his eyes at my playacting ability. Well excuse me, I guess I missed drama class on account of I had a life.

  We walked down the middle of the street for the few blocks it took to get to the park. Once we arrived, Carl immediately led me down the tree-covered trail. Gee, wasn’t I attacked here before? The thought flashed through my mind.

  Carl reached his hand out to stop me. I could smell the change in the air and turned to face the direction of the wind. Walking toward us were five vampires, all dressed like they wandered away from the beach and couldn’t find their way back.

  Each head possessed sun-kissed locks and their shirts were open at the chest. I noted the leader’s shorts were OP and I wondered if Lance had been changed in the eighties and just never updated his style. Or maybe he was going for the retro look.

  They stopped in front of us, not making a move to attack. Lance was a few steps ahead of the group so I shrugged at Carl and took two steps forward, so we were eye to eye.

  “You must be Lance,” I said. “I’m very sorry about what happened to Tina.”

  Lance seemed surprised by my sincerity. Hey, I liked Tina and was sorry she died. I knew Lance loved her, in his own perverted way. If he didn’t kill her then he was probably hurting right now.

  “You took her away from me.”

  Though technically that was true, I believe he was implying that if it wasn’t for me she would still be dating him. And that was a crock so I said as much.

  “Are you mockin’ my pain, man?” he asked incredulously.

  “No,” I reassured him. “But I didn’t take Tina away from you. She left of her own accord. She wanted to get away from you. It was what it was.”

  “I could have convinced her to come back to me if you hadn’t taken her away. She always came back to me.”

  I could see this conversation was getting us nowhere and I had no desire to play counselor to a whacked-out vampire about the intentions of his dead ex-girlfriend.

  “Did you kill her because she left?” I said bluntly.

  He seemed shocked I could even voice such a sentiment.

  “Hurt my little angelfish? Harsh, dude. She was my sunshine girl.”

  The vampires behind him nodded in agreement. They whispered to one another. The consensus of his posse seemed to be that Lance would never hurt Tina. He loved her, man. Really loved her.

  “Okay, well, the Tribunal thinks that maybe you had a hand in her death, so why don’t you come with us and we’ll go downtown and straighten this whole misunderstanding out.”

  I couldn’t believe I just used the phrase “we’ll go downtown and straighten this whole misunderstanding out.” What was I, on a rerun of Law & Order?

  “I’m not going anywhere with you. You’re the reason Tina is dead.”

  His buddies nodded in agreement.

  This so wasn’t going the way I hoped. I looked to Carl for help but he didn’t take his eyes off of Lance for a moment. I wondered if we were going to have to take Lance by force, but they slowly started to back away.

  “We’ll meet again, blond girl, and when we do, you’ll pay for what happened to my angelfish.”

  Suddenly, they were gone. I looked to Carl: Should we chase them? But Carl stood immobile. Which was just as well, I really didn’t want to chase a bunch of surfers through the park. The thought alone exhausted me.

  “I don’t think he did it,” Carl remarked.

  I nodded in agreement. The guy was obviously unstable and hopelessly out of fashion but I didn’t think he offed Tina either. Which led us back to the spy-among-us theory. And that really sucked.

  Carl walked me back to the house after we fed. The Lance encounter weighed heavily on both of us. Sure, we didn’t think he killed Tina but he promised to make me pay for her death so I had yet another stress to add to my growing list.

  It was close to morning when I said good night to Carl, who was camping out in the housemother’s room (can you say, ewww?). On the upside, I didn’t think our spy would try anything with a Vampire Investigator in the house so that was somewhat of a relief.

  I climbed up the stairs and went to my room. There was no sign of Sophie sleeping in front of Ileana’s door so either she was inside the room now or hadn’t retired yet. I was wondering how the Harry Potter reading had gone when I entered my bedroom and noticed the flashing light of my answering machine blinking.

  Caller ID assured me that I did indeed know who left me a message and I opted to ignore it. It was Thomas and I didn’t want to deal with our issues right now. I couldn’t even get a grasp of the House issues. Instead I turned off my cell phone as well and changed into my sushi pajamas. Then I curled up in a ball to sleep.

  I managed to keep everyone alive and avoid Thomas for five whole days. On the fifth day I awoke to the insistent ringing of my phone. The clock told me it was two in the afternoon, so I knew it couldn’t be Thomas.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi honey, Mom here.”

  “Mom, do you have any idea what time it is?”

  “Of course I do. It’s two in the afternoon.”

  “That’s like two in the morning, vampire time, Mom.” Why couldn’t she remember I slept during the day? “Everyone’s okay, right? Aunt Chloe? Dad?”

  “Everyone’s fine, dear. I’m sorry I woke you. I never know when you’re sleeping. Anyway, we thought we would come over tonight and take you out to dinner. Well, we’d eat and you could fill us in about your first week with your new roommates.”

  I made a face at the phone. Yeah, that sounded like a great time. So Mom, someone is trying to kill us and has succeeded once. Oh and by the way, the killer lives in the house. Yeah, not a conversation I was having with my family.

  “You know, Mom, that sounds great but we’re kind of vampire testing here. Maybe I could swing by after training?”

  “Oh, that might work.”

  “Great, but don’t wait for me to have dinner. I’m not sure how long I can stay.”

  We gossiped a bit more and then she rang off. I missed my mom, but I couldn’t have my family anywhere near Psi Phi House until the killer was caught.

  I looked at the clock and groaned when I remembered Cyrus would be waiting for me at 4 P.M. to train. I debated calling him and canceling but knew I should go. I was going to enlist Cyrus to help train the other girls as well. But first I needed to catch the killer. No use training her to be a better fighter. Until then, I needed all the advanced training I could get.

  I threw on yoga pants and a cheer shirt. I slathered on sunscreen and made my way downstairs. I decided to peek into the rec room and found Lucy on the computer, checking her e-mail. She was alone in the room.

  “Surprised to see you up,” I said. She didn’t start so I assumed she heard me coming. Guess I was not the most silent Undead in the house. She quickly minimized her screen and turned toward me.

  “You on e-mail?” I asked.

  “Uh, yeah. Is that okay?”

  “Sure, sure. I think it’s great you have friends to keep in touch with, now that, well you know.” I was surprised
that she corresponded so much. I’d gotten the impression she was all alone but she was always on the computer. It was great she had support, even if it was electronically offered.

  “I’m having a hard time sleeping, ya know? Thought catching up with my old friends via e-mail might make me feel better.”

  I nodded. “Everyone else asleep?” I motioned toward the dorm room.

  She shrugged. “The rest of the gals are probably still upstairs. Sophie’s been reading us Harry Potter and everyone thought it would be a good idea to sleep in the same room. Just in case.”

  “But you couldn’t sleep?” I prodded.

  Lucy looked around in a conspiring sort of way and finally admitted, “Ileana snores like no one I’ve ever met. I thought Sophie was crazy to sleep outside her door in the hallway but now I know why: It’s probably the only way she can get a decent night’s rest!”

  I laughed and was immensely pleased with the idea that Ileana, our English lady and resident pain in the backside, snored like a sailor.

  “Well, I’m off to meet someone who might be able to start training you gals in self-defense. Remember that Carl is here and the Tribunal Security is outside. You guys should be just fine.”

  She nodded to me in an absentminded way, then stifled a yawn. “I think I’ll try to sleep again.”

  “Headed upstairs?” I asked.

  “No way, I’m going straight to the dorm room, where it’s nice and quiet.”

  I laughed as she headed off to bed and made my way upstairs. I left a note for Carl and stepped out onto the porch. Zach was again guarding the porch and I was relieved that Todd was nowhere in sight.

  “I’m off to the bus stop,” I told him.

  “Great, that’s a pretty short walk.”

  “It is a short walk, you really don’t have to …”

  He waved my statement away. “All part of the Security gig.”

  It only took a couple of minutes to make our way to the major bus stop outside PSU. In as few as three bus transfers and almost two hours of travel, I finally made it to Cyrus’s studio.

  “You’re late,” he said flatly.

  “Dude, don’t even start with me. I’ve been riding public transportation for two hours to get here. And I’m so not happy about it.”

  “When are you going to get a car?” he asked.

  “On my list, on my list,” I assured him, going straight into stretches.

  We began our workout with forms and then advanced to a little sparring. “I have a little surprise for you,” he said as he ushered me into the back room.

  I followed, intrigued by the surprise. When I found myself in a musty storage room that doubled as his office, I was more than a little disappointed.

  “So what’s the surprise? You want me to do your books?”

  He smirked. “Hardly. Today we’re going to do a little improvisation. After you failed my surprise attack so dismally last week”—he cast a disapproving gaze in my direction—“I thought we definitely needed to work on some real world situations.”

  “Okay. So why are we here?”

  “I’m going to attack you and you’re going to defend yourself using everyday objects found in my office.”

  “Wait a second, I don’t want to break anything …” I started to complain but he attacked me swiftly and I staggered back from the force of a blow to my face.

  Fourteen

  I stopped worrying about his stuff and engaged in combat. A real fight takes very little time. In actuality, it should take only a few moves. The object is to win by any means necessary and in the shortest amount of time. The problem with sparring with the same partner is we knew each other pretty well and it became like a dance. We could counter each other’s moves and look really cool doing it.

  However, Cyrus was regretting our complacency and was now determined to remedy the situation.

  “Pretend I’m a vampire, find a weapon against me,” he panted, avoiding my roundhouse kick.

  I grabbed the letter opener from the desk and jabbed at his face. He punched my arm to the side and whipped me around, grabbing me from behind in a sleeper hold.

  “A knife?! You’re gonna attack a vampire with a knife? Get your head in the game, girlie.”

  I stomped on his instep and butted my head back forcefully, connecting with his nose. He released me in surprise and I turned to face him again. His nose was bleeding but neither of us stopped our aggression, though it made my stomach growl.

  I attacked again, but this time he used my momentum to fling me across the desk, scattering paperwork and desktop minutiae everywhere.

  He grabbed me by the hair and lifted me up from the floor. I punched at his chest and said, “I win.”

  My fist stayed in contact with his chest as he asked, “How do you figure?”

  I pulled back the clenched hand and opened it to reveal a regular yellow #2 pencil. I’d grabbed it from the desk when he threw me. I could have imbedded it into his heart if I’d turned my fist appropriately.

  The look of shock on his face was rewarding. Yeah baby, I beat you. Give it up for Colby Ninja Master, using office supplies to defend half-bloods, one pencil at a time.

  “Are you sure that would work? Aren’t you supposed to use a stake?” He was skeptical at best.

  “Wood in the heart is all it takes. This little baby would have done the job,” I assured him cockily.

  “Okay then, well done. Now get me some ice for my nose from the food mart next door.”

  Cyrus’s studio was located in a mini mall on the eastside. I filled a glass with ice and after paying full soda price for it (can you believe that?), I quickly returned to him. He wrapped the ice in a towel and balanced it on the bridge of his nose while leaning back in his chair.

  “So, I have a proposal for you. I was thinking you might want to start teaching the girls self-defense.”

  “And why do you think I would want to do that?” he asked in a muffled voice.

  “Because I’ll pay you,” I enticed sneakily.

  “Pay me what? You’re a poor mutant Undead. What are you offering? An exchange of cheerleading lessons for self-defense classes?” He tried to chuckle at his little joke, but groaned in pain after the first snort.

  “Hardly. The Tribunal will pay, of course. Just get me a quote for biweekly defense lessons for four newbies.”

  “I thought you had five girls at the house,” he countered.

  I walked to the studio door, turned back and said, “Did I mention how unpopular half-blood vampires are?”

  He removed the ice from his nose and looked at me. “Be careful,” he warned.

  I nodded and walked out of his office. As I reached the front door he yelled, “Next week, Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Eleven P.M. Tell the girls not to be late.”

  I called my mom to pick me up from the studio and passed the time reading the magazines in the food mart. The nice Indian man behind the counter glowered at me but what could he really say? I’d purchased ice earlier so I was a paying customer, right?

  Mom was pretty happy to see me and I was excited to visit with the family for awhile. We chatted, they ate, but I couldn’t stay too long or I would miss my bus back to Seattle.

  “Why not stay the night here?” Aunt Chloe asked.

  I turned to my great-aunt and marveled that such a strong, steady voice came from such a tiny, frail-looking woman.

  “And do what? Mom and Dad will be going to bed soon. They have to work tomorrow.”

  “You could talk to me. I don’t need as much sleep as those two. I’m pretty much a night owl.”

  I leaned down and gave her a big hug. “I would love to, Aunt Chloe, but I don’t want to miss my bus. A lot of stuff happening at Psi Phi House, you know.”

  “Hmmph,” she snorted. “No, I wouldn’t know because my niece has not seen fit to invite me.” She crossed her bony arms and glared at me with disapproval.

  “Aunt-ie,” I whined, “I told you now wasn’t a good time. We hav
e vampire testing all week. Maybe once college classes start, I can give you a tour.”

  She looked at me and I could swear I saw the wheels turning in her curly gray head. She wasn’t buying my vampire classes for a minute. She was way too sharp.

  “Anyway, I’ve gotta run. ’Bye Mom, ’bye Dad,” I called as I rushed to the door, desperate to get away from the all-knowing Aunt Chloe.

  “At least let me give you a ride back to school,” Dad offered again.

  “Dad, public transportation is the key to saving our environment.”

  “I see. So if I were to offer you a car, you would turn it down. You know, for the environment?”

  “Well, that depends. Are you really offering me a car or giving a hypothetical example?”

  He chuckled and hugged me good-bye. Darn, so close. I really did need a car.

  I headed toward the bus stop outside of my old school, confidently walking on the trail where I’d once been attacked and changed into the Undead. No reports of rogue vampires in the area and really, what more could happen to me? I was already a half-blood.

  It was after dusk when I finally arrived back at Psi Phi House and I was exhausted. All that walking, working out and not getting enough sleep was taking its toll on me. I just wanted to crash.

  I groaned when I saw Thomas’s car in the driveway. No, I so didn’t want to do this right now. I tiptoed around the house to see if the back door was open so I could sneak past him. It was bolted tight, as were all the windows.

  I took stock of my options. I could try to scale the house and sneak into my upstairs room. I looked up and shook my head. So not gonna happen. I could cause a distraction outside and when they rushed out to investigate, sneak past them into the house. Oh sure, not a problem. Sneak past two Vampire Investigators. Of course I could. Not.

  Finally, I pulled out my cell phone, turned it back on and dialed Carl.

  “Carl here,” he answered.

  “Groovy, good to know. Listen, is there any way you could have an impromptu Investigator party downstairs in the rec room for a minute?”