by Lane Hayes
“I got this part. It’s been while, but I remember. And don’t worry, I’ll go easy. Trust me.” I added a second finger, loving his low groan of approval as he lifted his leg higher on my shoulder.
“We wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t trust you, Papi. And just so we’re clear, I like it rough. Don’t go too easy.” He winked and spread his legs wider, reaching between us to line my sheathed dick at his entrance.
“Holy shit. Don’t speak. I’m not gonna last if you talk like that.”
“What? You don’t want me to beg you to stick your fat cock in my—oh fuck!”
I pushed inside him harder than I intended but didn’t get far. He was so tight. I braced myself on shaky arms and waited for him to signal me he was okay. He touched his tongue to his top lip and nodded. I inched my way farther into my lover slowly, paying keen attention to his body language. When he relaxed his legs and reached out to pinch my nipples I surged forward, burying myself so deep I could feel his balls against mine. I swallowed hard and hoped the light-headed feeling would fade soon. Being inside Alex was better than anything I remembered.
“This feels good, but you gotta move now. Fuck me, Nate.”
I nodded, moving his legs to wrap around my waist so I could lean in. I had to taste him. I pulled out slightly, then pushed deeper inside, capturing his mouth and muffling his loud groan. He dug his heels into my ass urging me to pick up the pace. I didn’t comply right away. It had been too long, and fuck, I’d missed this. I couldn’t believe I’d convinced myself I could ignore my desire for a man. It was like being put on a punishing diet when you’re already too thin for your own good. My body tingled with wild excitement as I lengthened the strokes but kept a slow, even pace.
“Nate. Please.”
“Shh. You feel so amazing. I had no idea this would be so—”
Alex bucked his hips in an upward motion, meeting my thrust and throwing me off stride. “Harder. That’s it. Hard and fast. Fuck my hole.”
I covered his mouth with my right hand and used my left to grip his shoulder and thrust deep inside him. I picked up my rhythm, pistoning my hips and pummeling into him as he clawed at my back and pulled me closer to suck on my tongue. I broke away when the need for oxygen left me gasping for air, but I didn’t stop moving until he pushed at my chest and motioned for me to lean back. He flung his arms around my neck and moved with me so he was sitting in my lap impaled on my dick. And then he took over. He alternately licked, kissed, and bit his way along my jaw and down my throat before pushing me flat on my back with a devilish grin.
“My turn, Nate.”
Alex swiveled his hips experimentally, then grasped his cock and smeared precum over the head as he stroked himself furiously and rode me hard. He was a thing of beauty, wild and reckless. I traced his taut abs, looking up at him in wonder.
“Erés guapo, Alejo,” I whispered, moving my hands over his side to rest on his ass. “So beautiful.”
He slowed his movement and stared down at me with his head tilted, his mouth quirked in a sweet, lopsided grin.
He leaned forward to kiss me deeply, brushing my hair away from my eyes before yanking my head back to expose my neck. I arched my back and bucked upward holding his hips to fuck him hard and fast. Alex went crazy. He bit my shoulder and held my hands hostage, but he let me control our frenzied tempo. When he let go of me to stroke his cock I knew he was about to fall apart. He came with a roar, spilling his cum over my stomach and chest.
“Alex, please move. Just a little more. I’m so….”
His breathing was labored, but he did as I asked, rolling his hips and clenching his muscles around me in a vice grip. He milked himself dry, shaking with the effort to keep moving until my release claimed me a few seconds later. I shivered under my lover, gasping like a fish out of water.
When the hazy, sensual fog lifted, I reached up to run my thumb along his bottom lip. He stuck his tongue out and sucked it and then leaned down to seal his mouth over mine. The kiss was poignant. And I didn’t think it was simply me being overly emotional after my first round of truly amazing sex in over a decade. It was special and seemed to herald hope and possibility.
Nine
“YOU LOOK funny.”
“Huh?”
“Funny peculiar, not funny ha-ha. I can only put my finger on part of it, and my curiosity is killing me. What’s going on with you, Nate?”
I looked up from my perch next to Mack on the cement stoop in Bran and Jake’s backyard to see Brandon standing over me with one hand on his hip. His fingers tapped against the door leading to his kitchen. He was wearing a rainbow-striped apron emblazoned with “Only Gay in the Kitchen,” which in no way deterred from him looking fiercely determined.
He’d invited me to dinner tonight, plied me with a superior vintage Cab, and told me to make myself comfortable while he put a casserole in the oven. Jake wasn’t home from the fire station yet, so I decided to keep Mack company outside and enjoy the mild November evening while Bran finished up in the kitchen.
I took a sip of wine and scratched the dog’s ears in an effort to delay answering any impossible questions. What was going on with me? I had no fucking clue, but I kinda liked it. Bran clapped his hands together and stepped backward.
“Hold up. I’m getting my wine too. Be right back.”
He was at my side a minute later with his glass in hand. He tapped it lightly against mine, then leaned back and gave me a thorough once-over. I grinned and adjusted my glasses as I turned to face him. Bran was very handsome, and his coloring gave him an almost exotic look. However, his lovely exterior was nothing compared to what was on the inside. He was infinitely kind and loyal. He’d gone out of his way to support me last summer when my life went sideways. I was grateful for his friendship. But I didn’t know how to share this. Even though what I was feeling was amazing. Really fucking amazing.
“Let’s just get the weird out of the way. You know Jake told me, right?”
“I figured he would.”
“I’m guessing your agreeable disposition and goofy smile means you’ve been experimenting and liking the gay side of the street. Am I right?” he singsonged.
“Geez, Bran!” I picked up my wine glass like a shield and took a healthy drink while he giggled at my expense.
“Well, who’s the lucky man? And while we have a dark night and a sweet old dog for diversion, please feel free to ask any gay questions you may have. Sex, social gay etiquette. I’m an expert.”
I laughed at his comedic delivery and marveled at his ability to break down complex emotional baggage into its simplest form. In other words, this wasn’t a big deal unless I chose to make it one.
“Thank you, but I think I’m good. I mean with the sex stuff.”
“Ahh, good to know. And have you found a steady partner to enjoy a little man lov—”
“Bran!”
“Yes or no?”
“Yes.”
I rolled my eyes when he squealed like a schoolgirl, though his enthusiasm made me blush. Who was I kidding? Thinking of Alex made me light-headed and goofy. Just as Bran had astutely observed.
“So who is the lucky guy?”
“Bran.”
“Yes?”
I stared at him for a moment, willing him to know what I wanted to share without me having to speak. His expectant look told me it wasn’t going to work. I took a deep breath and turned to methodically pet Mack’s belly.
“Alex.”
Bran was quiet longer than usual. I finally caved in and glanced sideways to find him giving me a “you’ve got to be kidding me” look. I chuckled and let my head fall back.
“Is that really so hard to believe?”
“Yeah. Actually yes. Don’t get me wrong, Alex is a great guy. And so are you, but you’re both so….”
“What?”
“Intense. I guess that’s the word. Whatever. I’m surprised that’s all. Not in a bad way by any means. Just… surprised.”
“Hmm. I get the feeling you’re not sure who you should warn first, but we’re not serious. It’s new, and we both know the score.”
“So you know about why he retired?”
“Yes, and he knows I’m divorced.”
“Does he know about—”
“No.” The word sounded like a slap. I softened my tone before I continued. “But we aren’t planning a wedding or anything. We like each other’s company, and for now, it feels good.”
“All right. Can I say one thing? Maybe two?”
“Sure.”
“Honesty is the best policy. Lies of omission are still lies. And no one can read your mind, Nate.”
“I think that was three things. And I think you’re getting ahead of yourself. I like him. A lot. I like being with him, and I admit I think about him a hell of a lot more than I should, but this is new and—”
“I get it, and I’m very happy you’re happy. Just keep it in mind.” He raised his hand when he saw I was going to protest. “Let’s talk about the fun parts. Have you had sex? Top, bottom? What’s your preference?”
“Jesus, Bran! Leave the guy alone.” Jake’s deep chuckle sounded behind us.
I hopped to my feet and gave him a look of sheer gratitude as I carried my wineglass inside. I paused at the kitchen window and watched the two men outside entangled in an embrace with their dog wagging his tail wildly beside them. It was a sweet exchange that left me with a longing I hadn’t felt in years. I couldn’t help wondering if I’d been looking in the wrong place all along. Maybe I was finally close to getting it right.
NOVEMBER IN Los Angeles was exceptionally beautiful. Perfect daytime temperatures with crisp, clear mornings and evenings. The only drawback to the weather was not having the time to enjoy it. Work had ramped up ridiculously. I usually loved this part of a project. I was one of those strange people who was invigorated by long hours, especially when things were progressing well on the job site. There was never enough time left in a day to accomplish every goal I set, but recently I found myself cognizant of time in a different way. I didn’t want to add hours to get more done. Now I wanted the day to be over so I could find a reason to be with Alex.
As I stared out my high-rise office window at the LA skyline, the ribbon of traffic on the freeway and the view of the Pacific in the distance, I thought of him. Again. It didn’t matter that I spent nearly all my free time with him. It wasn’t enough. We surfed, jogged, biked along the boardwalk, and usually ate a late dinner together before falling into one of our beds naked. Maybe it was the sex. Alex was all heat and excess energy. There was something in his graceful movement that came across as sensual. Even when he was brushing his teeth, he looked sexier than the average guy. And when he smiled… fuck. I scanned my e-mail. There was nothing there that couldn’t wait until tomorrow.
Traffic sucked. As usual. I figured the stress of sitting in bumper-to-bumper congestion was a decent excuse to use to jump on a treadmill at Definition. Alex told me he was helping out one of the trainers with a late appointment. He didn’t expect to be done until nine or so and indicated he’d see me tomorrow night. I was going to text him to let him know I was going to stop by, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. He was working, and I would be working out. Separately. Sure, I’d rather get sweaty with him than watch him, but it wasn’t a bad second choice.
A couple of buff-looking men stood at the reception desk awaiting Tomás’s attention that Thursday evening. I waved a brief hello, then flashed my card under the security scanner and stood back as the glass doors opened automatically. I changed quickly and headed out to the cardio equipment armed with my earbuds and iPod. The place was jumping. Obviously I had misjudged how popular evening workouts were for most people. I hopped on the lone vacant treadmill and gave a short nod to the pretty thirtysomething woman on the machine next to me. She was dressed in designer athletic garb and was wearing full makeup and huge diamond earrings that pushed the boundaries of taste. The somewhat lascivious sideways once-over made it clear she was open to continuing her workout with me in a more private location. I gave her a weak smile and turned on some classical music on a high volume before starting a light jog. I was here for exercise and yeah, eye candy, if I could spot him.
The back row of the cardio section was elevated from the main floor, giving me a good view of the weight training area. I let my gaze wander over the other patrons. They were a mixed bag. Some looked like professionals doing an after-work stint at the gym, while others appeared to be doing serious training, lifting more weight than the average person would usually attempt or running full speed on a treadmill tilted at an impossibly high angle. I couldn’t see myself doing that kind of intensive training, but it was certainly inspirational.
My gaze swept over the health-conscious crowd, stopping at a familiar form. It wasn’t Alex, though. It was the guy from the bar. The one who’d bought me a drink a couple months ago. I couldn’t recall his name, but I remembered he said he knew Alex from college. I hadn’t seen him since that night, and for some reason, it struck me as odd to see him here of all places again. I watched as he sat on a bench with a heavy set of barbells attached at one end. He was dressed similar to me in dark workout shorts and a light-colored sleeveless T-shirt. He filled his shirt out a hell of a lot better than me, however. The guy was ripped. He lay back on the bench as I spotted another man approaching from the opposite side of the room. Alex.
He stopped to say hello to a patron before moving gracefully and with purpose to the bench where the hunky guy was lying. He stood in profile and appeared to ask a question as he went about preparing the proper weight for his client.
Which meant the guy from the bar was his client. Marco! His name was Marco. I hadn’t questioned him any further that night, but he’d indicated they’d once been lovers. Were they still? I didn’t think so, but my stomach churned nonetheless. I hadn’t bargained for this. The sick feeling coming over me was a telltale sign I was in over my head. My eyes were glued to the two handsome men. I didn’t bother trying to be clandestine about my interest. I couldn’t afford to look away and miss anything.
Except, nothing was happening. Chopin gave way to Schubert and then Mozart, Brahms, and Bach. I soon realized I’d been running, not jogging, for thirty minutes straight. Sweat was dripping from my brow and onto the treadmill display. I wiped at my forehead with the white towel draped over the bar and made myself slow down. The last thing I needed was to be carted out on a stretcher from overexertion. And for what? While I ran my heart out, Marco effortlessly lifted the heavy iron weight over his chest in a steady clip. In between sets, they seemed to chat amicably. Nothing more. Certainly nothing to get worked up about.
I let out a deep sigh as my treadmill automatically went into cool down mode. I took off my earbuds and noted the gym was noticeably less crowded than when I first came in. I was contemplating the best way to get Alex’s attention without having to engage Marco in conversation as well when I noticed the woman next to me grinning. I turned and smiled absently, keeping a sideways lookout for Alex.
“You were running like the wind for a while there! Are you training for something? Oh. I’m Jenny by the way.” Her gaze was flirtatious with a serious undertone of sex.
“I’m Nate. Nice to meet you. No. Just a regular workout,” I said, vaguely turning my attention back to the men still talking at the barbell.
“Whoa. No wonder you look so good! You’re in amazing shape if you don’t mind me saying so.”
I turned back to give her a wan smile, wondering how the fuck I was supposed to respond, when I noticed movement from the corner of my eye. It was subtle, but I’d been watching the two men like a demented detective. I was hypersensitive to their interplay. I couldn’t understand how Alex wound up training Marco. I tried to remember what he’d told me about the tall, dark, and sinfully handsome man, but I’d been too focused on Alex that night to pay attention.
I hated knowing they’d shared a past. It was child
ish and stupid, but as bile rose to my throat, I was forced to admit I was jealous. I couldn’t understand it. I wasn’t the jealous type. I never had been. I didn’t think Alex slept around. I honestly doubted he had time, but the fact was I didn’t know. I didn’t know how he felt about us. Just because I ranked the sex we had as hotter than any I’d had in recent memory didn’t necessarily mean he felt the same. I was used to being the one who erected imaginary walls, keeping clear boundaries in even the most casual “relationships.” I wasn’t the guy who stood helplessly staring at the object of his desire as he wondered what the fuck he was doing giving away pieces of himself like he had anything worth giving in the first place.
When I saw Marco covertly sneak his hand up the leg of Alex’s shorts and glance up at him hungrily, I felt a surge of anger, red hot and borderline crazy, pulse through my body. If I got off the machine, I’d probably do something really stupid, like throw a punch at a guy who could bench press my body weight with one arm tied behind his back. I had to stay where I was.
I reset the treadmill, wiped my forehead with the towel one more time, then picked up my pace. The pretty girl next to me was still talking. Her flirty tone had dropped another notch to something blatantly seductive. I gave her a weak grin, though I had no idea what she’d just said. A compliment, I thought. I thanked her distractedly and looked back at Alex. Something was definitely going on. They were talking with no hint of anger, and Marco’s hand was still caressing Alex’s thigh. For all I knew, he was fondling his balls.
Heat consumed me. I jogged on and set the incline steeper.
“I’m heading out soon. Feel like grabbing a drink or something?”
“Huh?”
My mouth was cottony, and it had nothing to do with my strenuous workout or the set of surgically augmented tits on display. I was obsessed with a conversation I couldn’t hear and the evident desire in Marco’s demeanor. The girl next to me jumped off her treadmill and stared up at me. I glanced down in irritation. God, would she shut up already! She wrapped her fingers around the bar of my machine and leaned forward so her large breasts were pushed up suggestively. Our opposing focus was laughable. She was looking for a hookup and I was—I glanced back toward the weights and saw Alex staring at me. His brow was furrowed, and his expression was heated. He looked pissed. He couldn’t possibly think I was interested in making time with this girl. Could he? I slowed my pace as I held his stare. And sealed my fate.