“You’ve got to pedal it just as hard as an
ordinary bike. I’d have thought a wizard’s bike would pedal itself. You know, you could just tell it: ‘Take me very fast down
the road,’ and it would. Oh – help!” He shouted these last words because suddenly the bike did exactly that – took him very fast out of the playground and down the road, without his even having to steer it.
“Tell it to bring you back again,” called Thomas. So Pete gave the bike its orders, and sure enough, it whizzed back all by itself.
“I think we’re getting somewhere,” said Pete. “Now, if I were to say to it, ‘Take me to Mr Majeika – ’ ” Again, he broke off, gasping, because the bike had risen very fast in the air. It was going up and up and up!
“Go down again!” Pete shouted at it. “I want to take the others with me.” The bike obeyed, dropping down into the playground. “Now,” he said to Jody, “you have the seat, and I’ll sit on the crossbar, and Thomas can sit on the carrier over the back wheel.”
“Why do I get the worst place to sit?” Thomas grumbled at his brother.
“You don’t,” said Pete. “I get the worst. Ouch! This crossbar is very hard indeed to sit on. But off we go. Now, bike, you can really do it. Take us to Mr Majeika!”
3. A Very Unusual Fence
Pete was feeling very airsick indeed, Thomas was white in the face and holding on very tightly, and even Jody, who had the bike seat and Pete to grip on to, looked very shaky as the flying bicycle whizzed through the clouds and then suddenly came to rest on a patch of grass.
“Well, I’m never doing that again,” said Thomas, gasping for breath as he climbed off the bike on to a patch of grass.
“You’re going to have to,” said Pete.
“Otherwise how will you get back to Earth?”
Thomas looked around him. “Aren’t we still on Earth?” he said. “There’s ordinary ground, and grass, and things like that, and trees.”
“But just go to the edge and look down,” said Jody, pointing to where the grass suddenly stopped.
Thomas went across, and found himself peering down through the clouds.
“Gosh!” he said. “We’re on a land in the sky. Like in Jack and the Beanstalk. I wonder if there are dangerous giants up here,” he added nervously.
“I don’t think so,” said Pete, pointing. A large notice said: “Welcome to Wizardford-upon-Sky. No parking of magic carpets. No bicycles allowed within the city gates.”
“Wizardford-upon-Sky,” repeated Thomas. “That sounds like the town where all the wizards live. Gosh, that’s probably where we’ll find Mr Majeika. Hooray! Then we can bring him home with us.”
But Jody was frowning. “I don’t think it’s as simple as that,” she said. “Look!”
Wizardford-upon-Sky was surrounded by a high fence, with spikes on top. In the
middle of the fence was a big gatehouse, with a pair of huge gates. They were both shut tight, and a big sign said “Closed”.
“That’s very odd,” said Thomas. “I’ve never seen a town that was closed. When is it going to open again?”
“It’s not!” snapped a voice. “It’s closed for ever and ever and ever. Go away!”
“Who said that?” asked Thomas. “I didn’t see anyone.”
“I think a little window opened in the gate,” said Jody, “and then shut again. And I thought I recognized the voice.”
“So did I,” said Pete. “It sounded like Hamish Bigmore. But how on earth could he have got up here?”
“If Wilhelmina Worlock is behind all this,” said Jody, “and I suspect she is, then she could have brought Hamish with her. But let’s go and see if it is him.”
They went over to the gate, and banged on it. They could see the little window that had opened for Hamish – if it was him – to shout through. But however hard they knocked, nobody answered.
“Oh dear,” said Thomas. “This is useless. We’d better give up and go home.”
“Certainly not,” said Jody. “Look, the fence goes right round Wizardford. If we walk along it, we might find a hole in it.”
They set off. Through the fence, they could see the town of Wizardford. There were a lot of very strangely shaped buildings, towers and domes and castles that looked haunted. But there seemed to be no one there at all. Everything was very quiet.
“It’s very strange,” said Pete. “I think this must be the headquarters of all the wizards, but there doesn’t seem to be anyone moving about.”
“Perhaps they’re all asleep,” said Thomas. “Maybe they have a nap in the daytime, and then come out at night.”
“Maybe,” said Jody. “But I think there’s something peculiar about it. And, oh dear, there don’t seem to be any gaps in the fence.”
They had walked a long way, but the
fence just went on and on, and as Jody said, there were no gaps at all. After a while they got tired. Pete and Jody sat down on the ground, and Thomas leaned against the fence.
“There must be something we can do,” sighed Jody. “Perhaps if we shouted Mr Majeika’s name, he might answer us. Oh – Thomas – look what’s happened to your arms.”
Thomas’s back had been against the fence, and his elbows had been poking a little way through it. He looked at them. They had gone all soft and rubbery.
“Help!” he said. “Fetch a doctor!”
“Don’t panic yet,” said Jody.
“Remember, this is the land of the wizards. A lot of peculiar things probably happen here. Let me try.”
Very cautiously, she touched the fence. It didn’t feel strange, but when she took her hand away, she found that it had gone all soft and flexible. “It’s a bit frightening,” she said, “but it gives me an idea. I think I’m going to see if I can’t squeeze through the fence. If it makes us go all squidgy, it should be possible.”
“But will we be squidgy for the rest of our lives?” asked Pete nervously.
“Who knows?” said Jody. “But we’ve got to rescue Mr Majeika, and even if it makes me squidgy for ever and ever, I’ll do it!”
She put her head against the fence, and sure enough she felt it going soft. By pushing quite hard, she found that in a moment or two she had become completely soft, as if she were made of Plasticine. Still pushing, she found herself on the other side of the fence – and to her great relief, she immediately became normal again, and was able to stand up and walk about without collapsing in a soft heap. “Now it’s your turn,” she called to Thomas and Pete.
At first, they were both very nervous. Pete put his foot against the fence first, and then got frightened and took it away again. But it had already gone soft, so when he tried to stand on it, he fell over. “I think that’s because you haven’t come through the fence,” said Jody. “I think if
you stay on that side, it’ll go on being soft for ever and ever.”
So Pete shut his eyes, and pushed the whole of his body against the fence, and in a minute he found himself on the other side, and back to normal.
Thomas came through more slowly, and started playing games. “Look!” he shouted out. “I can make my nose really long. And my fingers all round and fat.” He was actually enjoying being a Plasticine version of himself, twisting and bending so that he started to look like someone completely different.
When he finally came through the fence, Pete started laughing. “What’s the matter?” asked Thomas.
“You’re still that funny shape,” said Pete. “You’ve twisted and bent yourself so much that it hasn’t come straight again.”
“Gosh,” said Thomas gloomily. “I don’t want to look like this for the rest of my life.”
“Don’t worry,” said Jody. “If you get back into the fence again, I think you’ll find yourself softening up, and then you can straighten yourself out.”
Thomas tried it, and to his relief, it worked. “Hey, this is really great,” he
said. “We could have some real fun with it.”
“Honestly, you two,” she complained.
“You seem to have forgotten why we’ve come here. Don’t you remember? I’m sure Mr Majeika is in real trouble. Somehow, we’ve got to find him.”
4. Changing Jody
Inside the fence, Wizardford-upon-Sky looked even odder. Steam and strange-coloured smoke were coming out of the ground, and there were distant clunking and bubbling sounds. But no voices were to be heard, and Jody, Thomas and Pete had no idea where to begin looking.
“There’s a notice over there,” said Thomas. “Let’s go and see what it says.”
The notice was on the side of a peculiar-looking building shaped like a heart. It said “Love Potion Factory”.
“What on earth does that mean?” asked Thomas.
“What do you think?” said Pete. “It’s a factory where they make love potions. Surely you’ve heard of them?”
“Yes,” said Thomas. “But I didn’t think there really were such things as love potions.”
“Of course there aren’t,” said Jody.
“They’re only in stories. The factory is obviously a fake.”
“I wonder,” said Pete. “Remember, we’re in the land of the wizards, where anything can happen. Let’s go in and find out.”
They went through the doorway, which was heart-shaped like the building. Inside it was very dark, but there was romantic music playing, and it smelt like a perfume shop.
“Good afternoon, sirs, and good afternoon, madam,” said a silky, slinky voice. They peered into the darkness. Coming towards them, lit up by a strange pinkish light, was a very odd-looking woman. She had bright yellow hair, which tumbled down over her shoulders, very red lips (with the lipstick put on rather clumsily), a dress like an old bedspread, and dark glasses with glitter all over them, so that they couldn’t see her face properly.
“Good afternoon, good afternoon,” she repeated in a low purring voice. “Welcome to Madame Melisande’s Potion Powerhouse. Does the girl you love hate the sight of you? Madame Melisande’s Potion will make her fancy you like fury! Can’t your boyfriend be bothered to kiss you goodnight? Madame Melisande’s Potion will make him fall for you ferociously! Put a few drops in your friends’ packed lunches and you’ll find you’re the most popular person in the school! Madame Melisande mends broken hearts, repairs romances and brings love into every life. Ha ha!”
Until these last two words, Madame Melisande had sounded just like the sort of lady who sells perfume and make-up in a big department store or chemist’s shop. But when she said “Ha ha!” there was something different about her.
Jody, Thomas and Pete looked at each other, and they all said: “Hamish Bigmore!”
“Yah boo sucks!” shouted Hamish, and, still dressed at Madame Melisande, he ran away through the darkness. They heard a door banging shut behind him.
“It’s very odd,” said Jody, “that Hamish should be the only person around in Wizardford. I wonder what’s happened to all the wizards?”
“Come on,” said Pete, “let’s go. Mr Majeika isn’t in here.”
But Thomas wasn’t in so much of a hurry. “Do you think Hamish’s love potion really works?” he asked.
Jody shook her head. “Not if Hamish made it,” she said. “Anything that he’s mixed up is more likely to make you feel sick than fall in love with somebody.”
“I wonder,” said Pete. “He can’t have been up here in Wizardford very long – he was at school only a short time ago. So I don’t think he’d have had time to mess around with stuff in here. Probably it’s a real love potion factory, and he’s just dressing up in order to make fools of us.”
“In that case,” said Thomas, picking up a bottle, “I want to know if it works.” The bottle was labelled Melisande’s Strongest: one drop and you lose your heart.
“Of course it doesn’t,” said Jody. “Love potions are just things in stories. There couldn’t really be such a thing.”
“Why not?” asked Pete. “Until we met Mr Majeika, we didn’t believe in magic. Now we know it’s true. So perhaps this is true too.”
“I vote we try it,” said Thomas.
“You can,” said Pete. “I’m not touching it.”
“Me neither,” said Jody.
“Well, I don’t see why it should be me,” said Thomas. “Let’s toss a coin for it.”
“But there are three of us,” said Pete, “and the coin only has two sides.”
“Well,” said Thomas, “we can start by tossing between Pete and me. Then it can be the winner against Jody.”
“You mean the loser,” said Pete. “But all right, that’s fair enough.”
So Thomas took a coin out of his pocket and tossed, and Pete called “Heads”, and it was tails, so Thomas tossed against Jody, and Jody called “Tails”, and it was tails, so Jody was going to have to try the love potion.
“I don’t want to,” she said.
“Too bad,” said Thomas. “That’s how the tossing came out. Here – there’s some sugar-lumps in this box. I’ll pour a drop of Melisande’s Strongest on to it, and you can eat the sugar, and we’ll see what happens.”
Jody made a face, but when Thomas had put the love potion on to the sugar-lump, she ate it up.
“Quick!” shouted Pete to Thomas. “We’ve got to hide! Otherwise she’ll fall in love with whichever of us she notices first, when she’s digested the potion. That’s how it usually works in stories.”
So they hid behind a table, and waited for Jody to feel the effects of the potion.
“I feel just the same as usual,” said Jody, after a few moments. “I don’t think it works.”
“We can’t tell,” said Pete. “You haven’t seen anybody yet, so goodness knows what will happen when you do.”
At that moment they heard a door opening. Out of the darkness, in his
normal school clothes, came Hamish Bigmore.
“Hello, Jody,” he said, grinning a nasty grin.
Jody gasped. “Hamish!” she cooed. “I’ve never realized before how beautiful you are!”
It took Thomas and Pete ten minutes of struggling with Jody to get her out of the Love Potion Factory. “Hamish!” she kept shouting. “I can’t live without you! Let’s get married at once, and we’ll live in a pretty cottage with roses round the door, and raise a family of little Hamishes. Oh, how lucky your sons and daughters will be, to look just like you.”
For a bit, Hamish had stood there laughing, and then he ran away. He didn’t really seem to enjoy Jody being in love with him – any more than she would
have enjoyed it if she’d not been under the influence of the love potion.
“Let’s hope it wears off in a few hours,” Thomas said to Pete.
“I wouldn’t count on it,” said Pete. “It was called Strongest, wasn’t it? She may be like this for years and years.”
“If only we could find Mr Majeika,” said Thomas. “He’d know what to do.”
“Look!” said Pete. He pointed at a
building with a notice outside that said “Behaviour Changing Factory”.
“What does that mean?” asked Thomas.
“Just what it says, I suppose,” answered Pete. “It must be a factory for changing how people behave. Come on, let’s go and have a look.”
“But I can’t leave my wonderful, handsome Hamish,” sobbed Jody, as they led her away from the Love Potion Factory. “Oh, Hamish, you’re such a dreamboat, such a hunk!”
When they got to the Behaviour Changing Factory, Thomas peered through the door before they went in.
“Hamish might be here now,” he said.
“And I’
ve had quite enough of him!”
But there was no one inside. Unlike the Love Potion Factory, it was brightly lit. There were lots of tables, on which were set little bottles of crystals. These were all labelled “Behaviour Changing No. 1”,
“Behaviour Changing No. 2”, and so on.
“It doesn’t say what sort of behaviour it changes you into,” complained Pete.
“Oh, Hamish, Hamish,” sighed Jody, “send me your signed photograph, and I will pin it above my bed, and blow kisses to it every night before I go to sleep.”
“We’ve got to do something to bring her to her senses,” said Thomas. “Let’s just give her a taste from one of these bottles, and see what happens.”
“Look,” said Pete, “there’s some on that table by the door which do say what’s in them.” He went over and read the labels. They said: “Sensible Mixture. To stop silly behaviour of all kinds. Take one teaspoonful twice daily.”
“That’s just what we want,” said Thomas. He undid one of the bottles, found a spoon, and poured some Sensible
Mixture into it. “Swallow that, Jody,” he said, “and you’ll feel much better.”
“The only thing that would make me feel better,” said Jody passionately, “would be pressing my lips on Hamish’s cheek.” But she swallowed the Sensible Mixture.
The moment she’d done so, she blinked. “What’s happening?” she asked in a strange voice.
“You’re stopping being in love with Hamish,” said Pete hopefully.
“Yes, I’m stopping being in love with Hamish,” echoed Jody. “I can’t be in love with him,” she went on, her voice changing, “because I am Hamish. Ha ha!” She went on, sounding just like Hamish now, “I’m the naughtiest boy in Class Three, I hate Mr Majeika, and my best friend is Wilhelmina Worlock.”
“Oh, stop it, Jody,” said Thomas. “Stop fooling around.”
Mr Majeika Vanishes Page 2