Dark Nadir

by Lisanne Norman

  Half an hour later, Lijou stumbled from the temple, blinking rapidly in the brighter lights of the entrance hall. The night watch were at his side instantly, only to be dis-patched by him for his co-Guild Master. Instead they sent for L’Seuli, who fetched Master Rhyaz.

  * * *

  “He gave you this?” asked Rhyaz. Stunned, he stood looking at the metal disk L’Seuli had put into his palm.

  “Yes, Master,” said L’Seuli. “I recognized it immediately.”

  “Take me to him.”

  When they stopped outside the watch ready room, Rhyaz looked again at the coin in his hand. “Tell me once more how he said he got it.”

  “He said the God gave it to him. How did he get the Brotherhood Sigil, Master Rhyaz?”

  “I hope I’m about to find out, L’Seuli,” Rhyaz answered as he placed his hand on the door, ready to push it open. “I keep this in the safe. No one has access to it but me. It’s the original sigil, minted when our Order was founded.”

  Chapter 2

  Day 2

  KAID’S sleep continued disturbed, bringing memories forgotten for months to the surface.

  “You!” said Kaid angrily, fists clenching at his sides as he stopped. “You dared to use the Goddess to bring me here!” Kaid was speechless with rage as he watched Vartra set down the scythe he’d been sharpening.

  “Oh, it was real,” the God said, taking him by the arm and drawing him toward the cottage. “The crystal in the rock face, everything. It was Ghyakulla’s doing, not mine. She wanted us to talk.”

  “I’ve nothing to say to you!” Furiously he resisted.

  “Maybe not,” said Vartra, “but I do have things to say to you. Do you know where you are, how you got here?”

  “Dhaika led me.”

  “Not quite. Ghyakulla did. You’re dream-walking, in the realms of the Entities.”

  That caught his attention. “Entities? I thought there were only Gods.”

  Once more, Vartra tugged him gently onward. This time he didn’t resist.

  “There are no Gods and Goddesses, Tallinu, only Entities,” he said, stopping in front of the cottage door and opening it. He stepped aside, waiting for Kaid to enter.

  Automatically, Kaid scanned the main room, assessing the exits, looking for potential traps and threats, but the room couldn’t have been simpler. It was a typical highland cottage, not unlike Noni’s. On his right, a large kitchen range was set into the outer wall, sharing the flue with the small smithy on the other side. A table with four chairs stood in the center of the room. There were three doors, but only one looked like it led out of the room, probably to the rest of the house.

  “I hadn’t expected you to be living so simply,” he said, lacing his voice with heavy sarcasm as he entered. “Where’s the lab? All the scientific and medical equipment?”

  “There is none,” said Vartra, moving past him to sit at the table. “Those days are long gone, Tallinu. I fulfill a different role now.”

  Kaid grunted his disbelief. “You said there are no Gods, only Entities.”

  “I did. Won’t you sit with me? We only have a short time.”

  “I’ll stand for now.” He couldn’t sit at the same table as this person who’d betrayed him and abused his mind and body. “What is it you want with me? Get it over with, Vartra. I’ve more important things to do with my life than waste it here!”

  “Still so angry. Yet I did my best to warn you. It isn’t easy for me to come to you the way I did the night you took ill with the fever.”

  Despite his best efforts to stop them, Kaid could feel his ears begin to lie back in shock. It hadn’t been a fever dream, it had been real. Feeling suddenly dizzy, he held onto a chair back for support.

  “It was you? You were there, in my rooms?”

  “Didn’t I just say so? Sit down, Tallinu.”

  Vartra’s voice was persuasive, and, still reeling mentally from the shock of discovering the visitation had been real, he sat.

  “Every hunter is in his turn the hunted, Tallinu. What I did in the past when I still lived, had to be done. If I hadn’t, you’d still be under the heels of the Valtegans. I was driven as much as you are, only I’ve been honest with you about it. The Entities don’t have to reveal themselves or their plans to anyone.”

  There was that word again. “What do you mean, Entities?”

  “A living concept, or archetype, that one uses to understand the forces of nature that govern our world.”

  He tried to absorb it. “It’s the same as a God.”

  Vartra flicked an ear in a negative. “Entities are the forces they represent. Gods and Goddesses are personifications of those forces.”

  Kaid frowned, feeling the anger returning. “There’s no difference, Vartra. You’re playing semantics with me again.”

  “No. It’s important that you understand the difference. Gods don’t just represent a force of nature, we imbue them with older powers, make of them magical beings.”

  Kaid shifted uncomfortably, remembering a conversation with Noni about Gods and worshipers.

  “Yes, worshipers maintain their Gods with the power of their prayers. Most Gods were folk heroes once, their very essence kept alive by those who believed in them.”

  “Like you. So how do you fit in, Vartra, except as a God?”

  Vartra began to laugh, gently and self-mockingly. It was a laugh Kaid had heard many times in his mind.

  “Stop it!” he snapped, hands clenching where they lay on the table.

  “The Cataclysm changed many things, Tallinu. Many of the old Gods were swept away, many were forgotten as new ones sprang up. I was one of the new ones, taking over from one called Varza, a warrior who’d set aside his weapons to show that though there’s a time to fight, there’s also a time for peace. The people replaced him with me, refused to let me pass on to the next life. I became, for them, the conceptualization of peace after battle, of positive change, and law and order. I was the embodiment of the genesis of the new telepaths: the son of the Green Goddess, Her protector, and Her consort. Now do you see the differences?”

  What he was saying had a ring of the familiar about it. It was what Noni had said to him. As he began to feel uncomfortable, his anger started to wane.

  A purr of pleasure. “You do understand! It’s the next stage in your spiritual development, Tallinu. Without understanding this, you cannot go forward.”

  “Very well. There are only Entities,” said Kaid abruptly. “What has this to do with me? Why did you call me here? To tell me you’re more powerful than any God?” Even he could hear the trace of bitterness in his voice.

  “So you could dream-walk, Tallinu. There are those among the Guardians who’d prevent you from learning this skill.”

  “Guardians?” He frowned, ignoring for now the negative comment. He’d not heard the title before except when applied to Guardian Dhaika as head of the Retreat.

  “Wheels within wheels, Tallinu,” said Vartra, getting up from the table to fetch the two beakers and jug that stood on the dresser behind him. Returning, he placed them on the table and sat down. “The Guardians are people who are one with our land, who guard and monitor the whole of our planet.”

  “How many more layers are there controlling us?” demanded Kaid. “Why have we at Stronghold never heard of them?”

  “Those who need to know are aware of them, never fear. And now, like the few others who are permitted to dream-walk to our realms, so are you.”

  Mind working furiously, Kaid forced himself to lean back in his chair, letting his hands relax again. Sunlight from a side window dappled Vartra’s tunic, making it appear first dark gray, then black as it almost merged into his tan pelt where he sat in the shadows. Compared to the person he’d met in the Fire Margins, this Vartra looked fitter and had gained weight and muscle. No longer did he appear the aesthetic Doctor of genetics, now he looked the part of the God—or Entity.

  “Varza was from the plains, just as I am,” Vartra said
quietly. “We became one Entity.”

  “Why would I need to dream-walk? And why would anyone want to prevent me from doing it?” Guardians, protecting the soil of their world: it had the guildmark of the ravings of the Human mystic, Derwent, yet this was coming from Vartra.

  Vartra leaned forward. “If you’re called by an Entity, given permission to enter their realm, then you have power, Tallinu. The power to speak to them, to learn from them—to negotiate with them and change the way things might otherwise be. As Ghyakulla negotiated with me to bring you here.”

  His unease grew as he remembered that physically he wasn’t in a highland cottage, he was actually meditating in the temple of Ghyakulla at Vartra’s Retreat, deep in the heart of the Dzahai Mountains. “Where’s here exactly?”

  “It’s a stepping stone,” Vartra said, reaching for the jug. “A starting point, where one such as you begins your journey.”

  Kaid felt his temper rising again. It always came down to this: more work for Vartra. “I’ve done enough for you,” he said warningly, the rumble of anger obvious in his voice. “You’ve used me once too often, Vartra. It ends here.”

  “You came here of your own free will,” Vartra pointed out as he poured water from the jug into both beakers. “Into my realm, and my home. Your choice.”

  Kaid made a derisory noise. “So what? It means nothing to me. You tricked me into believing Ghyakulla had called me.”

  “She did,” Vartra reminded him, picking up one of the beakers and taking a sip. “She called you because She knows what I need of you.”

  His anger finally dispelled his unease. He slammed his open palm violently against the top of the table, making the jug and the remaining beaker jump and shake. “What is it now, Vartra? You’ve taken everything from me, even my faith in you!”

  “I was driven to do what I did during my life, Tallinu, by forces higher than myself. If I hadn’t, it would never have been possible for you to have met Kusac, or Carrie, your Human lover.”

  With a wordless roar of anger, Kaid’s hands closed, claws gouging deep tracks in the surface of the wooden table. “I knew it was your doing! Is there nothing in my life you haven’t shaped with your meddling?”

  “You forget yourself, Tallinu.” Vartra’s tone was icy as he regarded him unflinchingly. “You chose to come back to my time, to leave the blood of your Human lover with me. Without that, none of this would have been possible. You and Kusac shaped your own futures, used your own free will. I merely—enhanced the options. Did I interfere when you tried to burn down my temple?”

  That hit him like a shower of cold water.

  “You thought I didn’t know?” Vartra flicked his ears in a negative as he put down his beaker. “Foolish, Tallinu. You know better than that. I didn’t cause your Triad, that I swear, nor your love for this Human.”

  This time, Kaid could read compassion in the other’s eyes. He looked away, not wanting to see it.

  “Just as you’ve been guided by dreams and visions, so was I. We both serve Shola and Ghyakulla, Tallinu.” He stopped for a moment before continuing. “You ask what I want. I’ll tell you. To free Sholans from the threat of the Valtegans forever.”

  Kaid looked up at him again. Vartra’s eyes had taken on a luminous quality that filled him with dread. It had been easy till now to forget that this was no ordinary male he was dealing with.

  “If the Valtegans return, Tallinu, Shola will be lost forever, its land polluted by them, its people enslaved till they have no will to break free. That must not happen. You and the En’Shallans are the key to preventing it. That is what I want, Tallinu, nothing less! When it’s done, then we can all rest in peace.”

  “Why should I believe you? You used me, told Jaisa to steal from my body and bear my cub!”

  “Not me, Tallinu,” Vartra said softly, picking his beaker up again to take another sip from it. “Not me. Vartra the geneticist did that. I’m no longer the same male. He died fifteen hundred years ago.”

  “You’re the same person! No one can change that much!”

  “Am I? Tell me, Tallinu the Brother, the priest and killer, what place in the life of one such as you does a fragile, hairless alien female hold?” Vartra’s voice was growing louder. “You, once second in command in the Claws, the most feared of the Packs on the streets of Ranz, their top killer—the Brotherhood’s best Special Operative at hunting down and killing rogue telepaths: what place has any female in your life, let alone one who poses a threat to your whole species? One who’s responsible for altering the best of the few telepaths Shola possesses till they’re infertile with their own kind? Tell me now that you haven’t changed!”

  Kaid’s anger and anguish had built in equal portions. There was no denying the truth of what Vartra was saying. “You made it happen!” he roared, pushing his seat back and springing to his feet, tail lashing angrily from side to side, ears plastered flat against his skull.

  “I did?” It was said very quietly. Vartra leaned back in his seat, brown eyes looking up unconcerned at him. “How so? You did that yourself as a child. I watched it happening during the long drive to Stronghold. How could I make a cub barely three years old become sexually attracted to a female so alien and unlike his own kind? You know the answer to that as well as I do. Why do you have to question what you feel for her? Why can’t you just enjoy having her as your lover and third now you’ve finally achieved what you longed for?”

  “Because I need to know what’s real, dammit!” he swore, clenching his hands till his claws pricked his palms. “You pull me about like a cub’s toy, Vartra, as if I’m there for your whims and your use! I’m not! I have needs of my own!” Uncertainty and insecurity as well as anger threatened to overwhelm him. “I’ve visited too many dream worlds, Vartra, I don’t need yours! I need to know what’s true, what’s real!” He needed to know that what he felt for Carrie was his, not engineered by the male—be he God or Entity—who sat before him.

  “Sit down, Tallinu. I brought you here to do just that. And to tell you what I need you to do now.”

  “I refuse. If I have the free will you say I have, you can’t make me,” he snapped, fighting to slow his breathing and prevent the mist of rage from forming before his eyes.

  “Sit down, Tallinu.” The voice was even quieter now, persuasive. “I will offer a compromise, then. A deal, if you like.”

  “What do you offer?” Kaid asked through clenched teeth.

  “I promise I will never again call you back to the time of the Cataclysm.”

  He snorted in disgust. “And what use is that? You already know whether or not you’ve done it again! That’s using your foreknowledge, not making a concession!”

  “Sit.” Vartra waited, looking up expectantly at him till Kaid reluctantly sat down. “We’re outside time for now, Tallinu. The past, the present, all are one for this moment. What we decide now will happen, this I promise you. I have never lied to you, no matter what else you think you can accuse me of. I will not return you to the past. You have my word on that.”

  Automatically Kaid began reciting his litanies, calming his mind while measuring Vartra up with all the senses he possessed. This was the time for clear thought. Dispassionately, he looked back over his encounters with Him. He spoke the truth. Whether as God or mortal, Vartra had not lied to him. It mattered little what Vartra wanted him to do, if he could use it to buy the peace of mind he desperately needed. “I want more,” he said at length. “No interference between me and my Triad partners. We’ll find our way, or not, on our own.”

  Vartra raised an eye ridge. “My Triad, Tallinu? You accept it now?”

  “It exists. I have to deal with it, no matter how or why it formed. I want no more interference between the three of us.”

  “We need your Triad to work, Tallinu. You must be welded together as one, able to support each other.”

  He could hear a note of uncertainty in the other for the first time. “No interference, Vartra,” he said coldly. “And I
’ll father no cubs with her.”

  “Some things are not dependent on me, Tallinu,” Vartra murmured, mouth opening in a faint grin. “That rather depends on your actions, doesn’t it? Cubs are Ghyakulla’s gift to us all.”

  “You know exactly what I mean,” Kaid growled. “No confusing me, sending me fevers or visions so that I lose my senses when I’m with her.”

  “Do you think I did all that? You give me more credit than I’m due. Agreed, on one condition.”

  “No conditions, Vartra. This is my deal with you, remember?”

  “One. You work at this Triad, Tallinu. No taking the easy option and letting it die. You work at it. You owe me that much at least by the oaths you swore to me when you paired with her the first time, and at the cub’s Validation. What was it? I’ll do anything you ask, only let this be real.”

  Kaid regarded him impassively. “I have never been foresworn in my life. I have no intention of going back on my oaths now.”

  “Yet you leveled similar accusations against me. I want to hear you swear that you will work at this Triad of yours.”

  “I swear.” A low growl accompanied his oath. “Tell me what you want me to do, then we can get this over with.”

  Vartra pushed the other beaker toward him. “Drink,” he said. “You must be thirsty by now.”

  Kaid hesitated. He still didn’t completely trust Vartra.

  Again the other gestured to the beaker. “It’s safe. I’m drinking it.”

  He picked it up, sniffing the contents suspiciously. “It’s water,” he said, surprised.

  “Of course.”

  Cautiously, he sipped it, making sure it was indeed water before taking a longer drink.

  “I need you to lay aside your mistrust of me, Tallinu, and finish the healing you began at Noni’s. I know how much you suffered, not only at the hands of Fyak, but also Ghezu. But you’re En’Shalla now, the Brotherhood and all of Shola look to your Triad as the public face of our Order.”

  Kaid continued to sip at his drink. He was finding it suddenly hot and airless in the room; the palms of his hands were becoming filmed with sweat. He leaned forward, straining to catch Vartra’s every word as the God’s voice became fainter.