Dark Nadir

by Lisanne Norman

“That just isn’t possible,” she said, sitting down on the chair next to him. “You’re Human, I’m not. How could we possibly share cubs?”

  “Just take my word for it,” he said, reaching across to take hold of her hand. It lay passive in his. “There are two Human and Sholan hybrid cubs on the estate already, one of them mine. I told you I went to visit my Leska and our son yesterday. You didn’t doubt me then.”

  “I thought she was Human like you. It never occurred to me she was Sholan.”

  “I’m not asking you to have a cub, Keeza, only to go through a bonding ceremony with me. Because we could have cubs together, our priest, Ghyan, is willing to perform the ceremony, that’s all. He knows who you are . . .”

  He stopped as she tried to pull away from him with a cry of distress. “Keeza, stop panicking! He’s a priest of Vartra, bound by his Order not to reveal confidential conversations with his congregation to anyone. It’ll give you more security if you’re my bond-mate. Make it more difficult for any authorities to take you off the estate.”

  “What’s so special about this estate?”

  “It’s the En’Shalla estate. Three people walked the Fire Margins to win us—the mixed Leskas—the right to have our own Clan.”

  “I think I remember reading about it,” she said vaguely. “But we’re not Leskas.”

  “You’re a telepath, and your genes are similar to everyone’s here. If you marry me, you become En’Shalla, too. The Gods’ will, Keeza, subject only to the Order of Vartra. Now do you understand?”

  She nodded slowly, putting her hand up to tuck a shorter lock of hair behind her ear. “How long a contract are you suggesting?”

  Brynne watched her. He’d found himself trying to memorize her every little gesture. This was one of her most endearing. When she did that, she looked as if she was Kitra’s age. “I’ve thought about this,” he said, taking his time. “The only one that makes sense and gives you the protection you need, is a life-bonding.” He felt her hand clench slightly within his and rushed on before she could say anything. “Before you object, once we’ve sorted this out, you needn’t stay with me if you don’t want to. You can think of it as a marriage of convenience if you prefer.”

  “You know nothing about me except what you’ve shared in my mind,” she said quietly. “Most of my past life is a complete mystery even to me. I can’t even remember what I’ve done since I was taken from the prison.”

  “Like you said, I’ve felt your mind. You’re not a killer, Keeza. Whatever you did, you must have had good reasons. I trust you.”

  “You’re a fool, Brynne,” she said, looking him straight in the eyes. “You’ve read the reports. You know I worked my way into a Pack Lord’s den then killed him. How d’you know I won’t do the same to you?”

  “Because I know you love me,” he said, reaching out to pull her into the chair with him. “Just as you know I love you. I realize it’s sudden, but my proposal is quite real—if you’ll have me.”

  “How do we reach this shrine without me being seen?” she asked, returning his kiss as his lips brushed hers.

  “I get Father Ghyan on the comm and ask him to come here. It’s all arranged,” he murmured. “But I don’t need to call him just yet.”

  * * *

  Sister Vaidou pressed a small sterile dressing over the cut on Brynne’s palm, then turned to do the same for Keeza.

  “It won’t stick if your skin’s wet,” she said, getting ready to apply the dressing.

  Hurriedly Keeza took her hand away from her mouth and wiped it along her thigh to dry it off. “It was bleeding,” she said.

  “You’ll have gotten dirt in it now,” said the Sister, checking that Keeza’s palm was dry enough. Blood was welling again from the narrow cut that ran across the pad in the center of her hand. “It’s meant to bleed. How else can you and Brynne share your blood?” She smiled as she applied the dressing. “This must have been a spring romance for you both. So sudden.”

  Keeza didn’t quite know how to answer, then Brynne came to her rescue.

  “Not so sudden, Vaidou,” he said, standing behind his new wife and resting his hands on her hips. “We met mentally weeks ago.” He shrugged, smiling. “Working here, you know how it is with telepaths. There’s more than one way to get to know a person.”

  “Yes,” said Vaidou uncertainly.

  “Let’s go and help Ghyan clear up,” Brynne whispered in Keeza’s ear, urging her past the Sister.

  Ghyan was standing at the table he’d used for performing the bonding ceremony, packing away the very new estate register book and the ceremonial knife.

  Brynne watched the priest’s eyes narrow briefly, then widen in surprise as they approached him. “Can we help you?” he asked. “We can’t thank you enough for doing this.”

  Ghyan took Keeza by the hand. “I’m done now. It’s a pleasure to be able to help you. Did you know that years ago, Kusac and I were friends at the Guild?” he said. “I left for the temple at Valsgarth a couple of years before Kusac disappeared. No one was more surprised than me when he turned up here with his Carrie. I threw my lot in with him the night he asked me to marry him to his Human Leska.”

  “Kusac disappeared?” Brynne was confused.

  “He was very different back then,” said Ghyan, perching on the edge of the table. “Much quieter, a very conscientious student who had no idea how to relax. Then he ran off and joined the Forces, posing as a low-grade telepath. We didn’t know what had become of him for a year. It wasn’t till his message for help was picked up by the Khalossa that we found out he’d been shot down on Keiss by the Valtegans along with Vanna and Garras, and he’d met Carrie.”

  “I didn’t realize he’d been in the military,” said Brynne. “And you married them?”

  Ghyan’s mouth opened in a slow smile. “Yes, it was my pleasure to be able to perform my friend’s life-bonding ceremony. He was betrothed to someone else, and unable by law to even enter into a short-term bonding contract because of that. It wasn’t till he discovered Carrie was carrying their cub that he realized they had the right to marry. Their hybrid cub negated the betrothal contract, you see.”

  “I’d heard some of this,” said Brynne, “Why are you telling us this? Not that I’m complaining, you understand.”

  Ghyan looked from one to the other. “Just letting you know you’re not the first couple I’ve helped, that’s all,” he said lightly, patting Keeza’s hand before letting it go. “I hope everything works out for you. If I can be of any more help, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

  “Thank you, Father,” said Brynne, aware of Keeza shrinking back against him. What’s wrong? I told you our secret’s safe with Father Ghyan and Sister Vaidou.

  I know!

  Then he realized what Father Ghyan had been alluding to. It rendered him speechless.

  Ghyan caught his look and nodded, raising an eye ridge. “Ah. I see you’ve just found out the good news,” he said, smiling again as he got down from the table and picked up his case. “It seems that more and more often these days, my wishes for a fruitful marriage are unnecessary.”

  There wasn’t much Brynne could say until after the priest and his aide had left.

  “Why?” he asked, coming back into the den. “Didn’t you trust me enough? Did you feel a cub would make you safer?” Had she been even more manipulative than she’d suggested? Had he been fooled the way she’d fooled the Pack Lord?

  She put her hands over her face and just sat there. “No! At first I didn’t even think it was possible. Then, when I realized the truth, I thought it would please you. I was wrong, I had no right to make that choice alone.”

  He didn’t know what to say. Suddenly his—their—world had been turned upside down, and the first small seed of doubt had been planted. Her distress was real, he could feel it, and it hurt him every bit as much as it hurt her. She’d trusted him completely, so why was he suddenly reluctant to do the same? Didn’t this cub make her even more dependent on hi
m? He hadn’t feared for his physical safety because of her violent past, was he that afraid of her emotionally? Then he remembered what he and Vanna had gone through when they’d discovered she was pregnant, and began walking toward her.

  “It’s all right,” he said, crouching down in front of her. Gently he tugged her hands away from her eyes. “Don’t cry, Keeza. I know you didn’t mean any harm.” He kissed her palms, first the one with the cut where they’d mingled their blood during the ceremony, then the other.

  “Blood is life. What better way to seal our marriage than to share a cub?” His voice sounded hollow as he said the words, as if he was hearing them spoken for the second time, and from very far away.

  He felt a sudden weight on his shoulder, then a small, wet nose stuffed itself into his ear. Belle leaped from there down into Keeza’s lap, stretching up to pat her face, making her smile and reach down to pet the jegget. As he watched them, a sound like a sigh echoed in his mind.

  * * *

  Each house in the village had a garden behind it. Brynne’s was no different. Later in the evening, he found an opportunity to go for a walk with Jurrel and tell him what he’d done.

  “Say something,” said Brynne, exasperated and worried by the other’s silence.

  Jurrel turned to look at him. “What do you want me to say?”

  “Anything you want.”

  “I don’t think you know what you’re doing,” he said. “Worse, I don’t think you know why you did it.”

  “That hurt,” said Brynne.

  “It’s the truth, though. Why would you need my opinion if you’re so sure of yourself?”

  “You’re my friend, and more. It matters.”

  Jurrel sighed, stopping by the bench. “Sit down,” he said. “I can feel your tension so strongly it’s affecting me.”

  Brynne sat. “I want to help her, Jurrel,” he said as his friend began to knead his shoulders firmly.

  “Do you? Or were you looking for an excuse to marry her? And if so, why should you need an excuse?”

  “I didn’t marry her to prove anything to myself, or anyone else!” he said, stung.

  “Then what’s the real reason? Be honest with yourself if not with me.” Jurrel was working his way across Brynne’s shoulder blades, making him wince. “You get these knots in the same places every time,” he muttered. “Next time you’re getting wound up, spare a thought for me. I’m the poor male who’s got to undo it all.”

  Brynne sniggered briefly, then sobered up again. “You’re going to laugh at me or call me an idiot,” he said defensively.

  “Try me.”

  He swung round on the bench to look at his friend. “Yes, I was looking for an excuse to marry her, because I fell in love with her.”

  “That’s a good enough reason,” Jurrel said, stepping across the bench to join him. “Feel better?”

  Brynne rotated his shoulders and neck experimentally. “Lots, thanks.”

  “I still think you’re out of your mind, though. Two days isn’t long enough to know if you’re suited to build a life together.”

  “Telepaths can’t lie to each other when they mind-speak. I know all I need to know about her.”

  “Then what you’ve done is right for you. You’ll certainly be more able to protect her as her life-mate.”

  “And she’s pregnant,” Brynne added.

  Jurrel made a choking noise, then reached out and grabbed him by the ears, shaking his head. “Have you got insanity in your family?” he demanded.

  “Hey! That hurts!” Brynne exclaimed, grabbing at his hands to stop him. “What did you do that for?”

  “To shake some sense into you! How in Vartra’s name did you persuade her to get pregnant? And why?” Jurrel let his ears go but Brynne held onto his hands.

  “I didn’t. She decided on her own. Just don’t say anything, please. I’ve already said it all to myself. What worries me more is I don’t want to have to choose between the two of you.”

  “Then don’t,” said Jurrel. “I’m not going to ask you to.” He narrowed his eyes, searching Brynne’s face. “I think perhaps you do know who you are after all, Brynne Stevens. When you make your mind up, you certainly do it fast!”

  “Vanna taught me that you have to hold onto what’s worth having or else you’ll lose it,” he said quietly.

  “A wise female,” said Jurrel, gripping Brynne’s hands before removing his own. “We’d better get back in before Keeza starts worrying.”

  “She won’t. She knows what we’re talking about.”

  “Then she will worry,” said Jurrel, getting up. “She must love you a great deal to commit herself to sharing a cub with you so soon.”

  Brynne said nothing as they walked back indoors.

  * * *

  The Seniormost had not harmed Kusac the day before, merely questioned him again about Vartra the God, Kezule, and the telepaths. It was almost a repetition of what J’koshuk had asked. He’d refused to answer him, refused to even confirm what he’d said to the priest. He left him alone eventually, sending in food and dimming the lights so Kusac could sleep.

  Several hours later, he was awakened by being hauled from his bed by a Prime guard. As he staggered, reaching out to support himself against the bed, a blow struck him hard across the face. He yelped as much at the unexpectedness of it as at the pain. The guard pulled him into the center of the room, gripping him firmly by the upper arms. Kusac didn’t struggle, there was no point. Against his back, the guard’s armor was hard and cold. He could feel his heart begin to race as he tried to prepare himself for trouble.

  “Are you awake now?” the priest asked in Sholan, standing in front of him. “Good. The Seniormost was most displeased that you refused to talk to him yesterday.” J’koshuk smiled to show his many pointed teeth. “When he’s displeased, I’m displeased.”

  Another blow hit him, this time on the other side of his face, rocking his head so hard he hit it on the armor behind him.

  “You’ll answer me though, because this time the pain can’t be turned off. You’ll have to live with every bruise and cut. And every time I come to question you, I’ll add to them. Do we understand each other?”

  Kusac looked at him silently. Yes, he understood, but he was damned if he’d answer him! He saw J’koshuk lifting his arm and closed his eyes, determined not to give the Valtegan the satisfaction of seeing him flinch.

  It landed on the same side, making him gasp involuntarily as his head bounced off the guard’s armor again. As he righted himself, he could feel his cheek swelling and his field of vision in that eye begin to shrink.

  “You’re new to this question and answer game, aren’t you?” said J’koshuk, circling round them. “I can tell. I’ll give you a few hints before we go any further.”

  Kusac’s head ached and his face was throbbing, and J’koshuk had barely begun. He’d coped with pain before, used his Talent to block it, but he could feel nothing left of his abilities now. Kaid had taught him what to do in the event of capture, but then it had been academic, now it was only too real.

  The footsteps stopped in front of him. His jaw was grasped from underneath and his head forced up so he was looking directly at J’koshuk. Razor sharp claws pricked the sides of his cheeks.

  “One. Always look at me when I’m talking to you.” He thrust Kusac’s head away. “I like to know I have your full attention. Two. Always answer the easy questions. I can’t stand sullen captives. Three. Don’t give in too easily. I won’t believe you.” He moved closer, his forked tongue flicking out to stop millimeters from Kusac’s face. Then it was gone. “I enjoy my work. It gives me pleasure to unlock my captive’s deepest secrets and fears. Now, shall we begin again?”

  His legs were trembling, he realized, forcing them straight then bracing them at the knee joint. It was a game, and he needed to make concessions if he was going to have any chance of surviving it.

  “Yes.” In his mind, he began to recite the litany to banish pain.
<
br />   “You learn quickly,” said J’koshuk. “Let’s start with the female in the other cryogenic unit. Carrie.”

  * * *

  Day 32

  Giyesh woke with Jeran lying in the bed beside her. He was shocked to learn he’d been taken, and had no memory of being examined or questioned. Kaid pressed him hard, but to no avail. Then he called Rezac over to read the young male’s mind.

  “You’re treating him like a criminal,” objected Giyesh, taking the opportunity to return to her lover’s side.

  “Giyesh,” warned Tirak from his seat nearby. “Don’t interfere between Kaid and his people. You’re making a fool of yourself over Jeran. You should never have been allowed to come on this mission. Why I let the elders talk me into taking you, I’ll never know. You should be home looking after your first taiban now!”

  Giyesh stiffened, moving closer to Jeran.

  “It’s all right, Giyesh, no one’s forcing me to do anything,” said Jeran quietly, stroking her knee.

  Rezac took advantage of their conversation to say in a low voice, “Why aren’t you doing it, Kaid?”

  “No need for me to when you can,” he replied. “You’re more than capable from what I saw that day with Tesha.”

  Rezac’s eyes narrowed, his eye ridges meeting. Kaid felt the gentle touch of the other’s mind briefly against his and cursed to himself. He’d been hoping to conceal his condition for a while longer.

  It’s begun, hasn’t it? Link deprivation. Do you know anything about it? sent Rezac.

  Of course I do! I watched Carrie and Kusac go through it. I know what to expect.

  Knowing it and experiencing it are very different. You’re mentally and physically separated, that’s the worst it could be. If they keep you apart, you’ve got another day at most before you go into a coma. Then you die. Tomorrow morning, I’m calling the Primes, unless either you’re taken or she’s returned.

  No! You’ll do nothing!

  Then you’ll both die. So will your cub. Is that what you want?

  He glowered at Rezac, making an effort to strengthen his mental barriers. You’d no business reading me!

  I didn’t. Your shields are low and I couldn’t help sense the state you’re in. We can’t afford to lose you, Kaid. You’re what’s holding all of us together. Even Tirak looks to you as the leader.