Dark Nadir

by Lisanne Norman

  His own experiences at the hands of his foster father weren’t much help either, except he’d once been where she now was.

  When he’d finally been allowed back into his room, Carrie had been sitting in his bed, wearing his gray tunic. She’d looked up as he’d entered.

  “Before you ask, I’m all right,” she said, but despite the fierce determination in her voice and mind, he could tell she wasn’t.

  He came closer, sitting on the edge of T’Chebbi’s bed. “I’m not much of a bodyguard, am I?” he said, reaching out to touch her bruised cheek with gentile fingertips.

  She flinched, then forced herself to remain still, but he dropped his hand without touching her.

  “I tried to make them come for me but we rarely see the Primes. I’m sorry.”

  “It wasn’t your fault,” she said, hands clutching at the blanket wrapped over her legs. “It was because of Elise. She laughed at him.”

  He was at a loss to know what to do or say, and couldn’t sense much from their Link as she was blocking her emotions from him—just as he was from her. “Can I do anything?” he asked. “Get you anything?”

  She looked at him, eyes glittering too brightly in the artificial light. “Yes. You can hold me. I’m not made of glass.”

  “I didn’t want to touch you without knowing I could,” he said, going down on his knees to wrap his arms carefully round her. She was so fragile and brittle right now, he was afraid she’d break.

  He felt her begin to shake and held her closer as sobs began to wrack her. “It’s over,” he said awkwardly, pulling her head down onto his shoulder.

  “Just tell me you still love me,” she wept. “That you don’t hate me. I need to hear you say it, even if it’s a lie!”

  “Gods, no!” He was shocked she could even think that. “How could I ever hate you?” He turned her tear-soaked face to his. “I love you, Carrie. You’re my life.” He touched his lips to hers, meaning it to be only a gentle kiss, but she returned it frantically, her hands reaching for his face, twining themselves in his long hair. Her mental barriers broke then, and he felt her fear of his rejection, the beginnings of self-loathing that she’d let this happen to her.

  It wasn’t your fault, he sent. How could you have stopped him? He’s physically stronger even than us. And how could I ever reject you because of it? You mustn’t blame or hate yourself. He broke the kiss then, climbing into the bed beside her.

  She leaned against him, rubbing her eyes as the sobs began to diminish. “Just hold me,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his chest. “I need to feel you close. I don’t want to be alone.”

  He did, holding her close even when she drifted off to sleep, remembering the first time he’d held her, pregnant and sobbing then with fear of the alien cub she carried. A short time later, she’d woken with a cry of horror at the first of the nightmares.

  Reaching out, he gently touched the skin around the livid bruises on her side. Anger filled him, and a desire to rip J’koshuk limb from limb with his bare hands. His mind was suddenly made up. If they were all here this morning, they were leaving.

  She stirred, turning round till she faced him. “We have to find Kusac first,” she said, opening her eyes and looking up at him. “I felt him, Tallinu. Felt his mind and yours when I used the gestalt.”

  “He’s not here, Carrie,” he said in Highland, stroking her face. “They only found you.”

  “They lied about me, they’re lying about Kusac. I smelled his scent on J’koshuk.”

  “I didn’t feel him, Dzinae,” he said gently. “As for his scent, the mind can play funny tricks on you at times like that. I know.”

  A puzzled look crossed her face, followed by one of understanding. “Oh, no, not you,” she said, catching hold of his hand. “Yet you still sent your child-self forward to our time. How could you do it, knowing what you faced?”

  “It happens,” he said. “I did it because I knew the future held you. Memories of what we’d share made me stronger, helped me survive those years.”

  “Like you’ve helped me so many times,” she said, kissing his fingers. “But I did sense Kusac. He’s here and he’s alive. I know he’s not dead.”

  “I felt your mind when they woke you, Carrie. I’d have felt him, too. How could you and I be Leska Linked if he was alive and out of cryo?”

  She closed her eyes, leaning her forehead against his chest. “I don’t know. Maybe we Linked because you were there and he wasn’t.”

  “We can’t stay here any longer, Carrie. They keep taking us, in pairs, when we’re asleep. Jo’s pregnant, you are, and Kate will be soon, if she isn’t already. We have to go now before they separate us again.”

  “You think they’re breeding us? Why? Why would they want to do that?”

  “You know why. They’ve been studying our Talent. Giyesh heard them saying they implanted the Valtegans from M’ezozakk’s crew to make them more docile. Think what a troop of tame telepaths could do for them. I won’t live in slavery, Carrie, and I don’t want our child born into it.” He tried not to sound forceful, but he was determined that they wouldn’t remain any longer. “We’ve got to get home and warn them.”

  “You and Tirak are prepared to have us die rather than live in captivity, aren’t you?”

  “Do you want to live here and have your mind controlled and your body abused again?” This time he was being almost brutal. He had to make her realize that remaining wasn’t an option.

  “But he’s here,” she whispered, clutching the long fur on his chest. “We can’t leave without him!”

  “Then you’ll have to choose, Carrie,” he said, his voice becoming tight. “Are you willing to risk your life, our cub’s, and mine, on the faint chance that Kusac is on this vessel? What about Kashini and your fears she’s in danger? More people than Kusac depend on you right now. If you stay, then I’ve no choice but to remain. If that happens, the others probably won’t make it, and Shola itself will be in danger.”

  “That’s not fair, Tallinu.” Her eyes began to fill with tears.

  “What you’re doing isn’t fair,” he said, holding her closer. “You’re working on emotions here, not logic. You know how much I love Kusac. Gods, if I believed he was here, I’d do my utmost to find him!”

  She was silent for a minute, remembering Khuushoi’s warning. “I don’t have a choice. I’ll go with you,” she said quietly.

  “Remember Winter’s kiss,” whispered Kaid, sharing her memory. “When they woke you the second time, I heard that in my mind. Vartra told me the Entities couldn’t come this far from Shola.”

  “Khuushoi said it was because I was in Her realm.” She shivered.

  “I know how afraid of cryo you are, but we had no choice,” said Kaid, wrapping himself and the covers round her to warm her. “You would have died of your wounds before we could reach the rendezvous.”

  “I’m not afraid of it, exactly. It’s because I’m aware when I shouldn’t be. My mind was still functioning on some strange level. At one point it was as if I was floating over Shola. That’s when I saw the danger to Kashini.”

  “The greenness creeping toward the estate.”

  “I’ve seen that green before. It was a sharp, bright color, like the la’quo resin. And like J’koshuk’s skin,” she said slowly, “when he touched me.”

  “Why green? It isn’t the color of danger, unless . . .”

  “Unless it’s to do with the Valtegans,” finished Carrie, pushing him back to see his face clearly. “Kezule. He’s the threat.”

  “How? He’s at Shanagi, under the tightest security.”

  “He’s gotten out, I know he has!”

  “That’s impossible,” he said. “And even if he had, why would he head for the estate? He’d be more likely to go for the spaceport and try to get off Shola.”

  “No, he’d want to go back to his own time. He’d head for us, not knowing we’re off-world.”

  He could feel the rising hysteria in her
mind. “Enough Carrie. He doesn’t know where we live.”

  “If he escaped, he could easily find out! When he finds we’re missing, he’s going to take Kashini! We’ve got to get back, Tallinu! Now! That’s the choice Khuushoi meant!” She tried to push him aside in an effort to get up from the bed but he held her tight, preventing her.

  “No. Calm down,” he said firmly. “You’re overreacting. First, we’re leaving today, remember? I was the one persuading you of that. Second, if you’re not calm and focused on what we’re doing, it’ll affect me and we’ll fail. I’m dependent on you now, Carrie. I can’t do my job if you’re there, in my mind, panicking. Remember what you are, a Sister in the Brotherhood. Don’t let me down.”

  He felt her stop and face the fear. As it began to recede, she nodded slowly. “You’re right. We’ve one chance. Worrying about what’s happening back home won’t get us there any sooner.”

  He stroked her cheek, wondering if they’d see another night together. Now came the really hard part. “We’ve planned this escape during the weeks we’ve been here. I need to include you now, tell you what to do. We work well with the U’Churians, but when it comes to this, I know I can rely on you and T’Chebbi. We’ve got to get at least one person off this ship. If the rest of us don’t make it, we have to survive long enough to kill our own people. There’s another Leska pair, Kate and Taynar, and Rezac’s formed a Triad with Jo. We only need to kill one of each group and the others will die. Same with us.” He waited, hoping that she’d be strong enough to know this had to be faced and discussed.

  “I’ll make sure I dodge the enemy better this time,” she said with a lopsided grin. “Don’t let anyone else but you—do it—if the time comes.”

  “I won’t,” he said, gripping her tightly and kissing her, letting her feel how much he needed and loved her, and prayed they’d survive.

  * * *

  Introductions over, under the cover of first meal, Kaid and Tirak briefed them all again on what they planned to do.

  “We’re going to try and escape using bits of broken furniture against those armored Primes?” asked Zashou, looking from Tirak to Kaid. “We’ll be like bugs against them!”

  “We only need one guard, then we’ve got two weapons,” said Kaid. “They each have a rifle and a sidearm.”

  “Manesh, round up the knives you’ve been adapting,” said Tirak in a low voice. “Sheeowl, you and Giyesh loosen the faucet taps. I’ll tell you when to disconnect them.”

  “Taynar, help Kate. Jo and Zashou dismantle drawer units for planks. T’Chebbi, you and Jeran get all the liquid soap containers.”

  “We get ours,” said Annuur through his translator. “Also berry stones. Lots of them. On ground, make Primes fall.”

  Kaid grinned and reached out to pat the Cabbaran leader on the shoulder. “Well thought out. Keep some back for throwing at their heads, too. It’ll distract them just long enough for us to get in close.”

  Annuur’s prehensile lip wrinkled back in a grin. “They fall hard. We jump on them and chew through armor. Already spotted places.”

  “Guns first,” reminded Kaid. “With them we can keep those guards down. Helmets next to stop them communicating with each other.”

  “Soap?” asked Carrie.

  “Cover faceplates,” said T’Chebbi. “Squirt in breather grilles. Stops them communicating with each other.” She grinned evilly, showing her teeth. “Makes them feel sick!”

  “Put some water in the containers first,” Carrie advised. “More suds.”

  T’Chebbi continued grinning. “Know that, don’t worry.”

  “What am I doing?” asked Rezac.

  “Helping me dig a hole through the wall to the door controls,” said Kaid, getting up. “I want you to try using some of those psi tricks you showed me. Annuur, can your people grip the door when we’re ready to try pulling it open?”

  The Cabbaran nodded, the crest of hair on his head bobbing with enthusiasm. He held his hands up, showing his long, thick claws. “Can dig into door, too.”

  “The rest of you can gather round us, hiding us from any surveillance devices,” said Tirak.

  “Let’s move it. The longer we take, the more chance of them noticing what we’re doing,” said Kaid.

  “What can I do?” asked Carrie, catching hold of his hand and drawing his attention to her.

  “Help us with the wall,” said Kaid, gripping her hand briefly. “Just use whatever psi abilities you think will work. You’ve done amazing things in the past.”

  “Don’t know that I’ve any rabbits left to pull out,” she murmured, getting to her feet.

  Kaid’s brow wrinkled in thought over her reference, then the meaning came to him. “You never know till you try,” he said.

  * * *

  The wall, being a partition rather than one of the structural ones, was made of some lightweight plastic compound. Using a fork with all but one tine bent back, they were quickly able to stab their way into it, then use a knife to snap out larger chunks. Underneath the thin outer skin they discovered a softer expanded foam center. In the midst of this nestled the metal casing for the door mechanism.

  “The back plate’s riveted on,” said Tirak in disgust.

  “Let me.” Rezac pushed forward to see it. “I’m not as good as Jaisa was, but I can try shaking it free,” he offered.

  “Try,” ordered Kaid, glancing at his comm unit. Ten minutes they’d taken so far. Too long.

  Rezac reached inside, putting his fingers on three of the rivets, and closed his eyes in concentration. Within moments, Carrie laid her hand on his shoulder, making him start and turn round.

  I can help, she sent.

  He nodded and began again.

  Kaid watched with interest, feeling it for himself because of his Link with her, adding a little to the help Carrie was giving Rezac. Slowly Rezac began to draw his fingers back and as he did, the plate suddenly pivoted down, hanging from one rivet.

  Rezac let go, leaning against the wall for support while Carrie continued to hold his shoulder. Gradually the paleness around his nose faded and he nodded his thanks, moving out from under her hand. “Don’t weaken yourself,” he warned her.

  Meanwhile Tirak had grasped the plate, carefully easing it free to expose the tangle of wires and circuits.

  Kaid took Tirak’s place. He was seeing the mechanism in reverse. What he had to decide now was whether to try and pull the whole unit inside and betray the fact that they were tampering with it, or try to activate it from this angle.

  As he looked at it, a small light began to glow, flicking from point to point, across the access side of the panel. “Someone’s coming!” he hissed, turning round and pushing Carrie behind him.

  The group providing cover scattered, leaving Rezac at the other side as the door slid open.

  Knowing the Primes stood just at the edge of the doorway, Kaid reached round and grabbed hold of an armor-clad arm. Using his weight as a pivot, he hauled the person into the room. Tirak grabbed hold as well, added his strength and weight, and the Prime was dragged in to smack, faceplate first, against the wall. As Kaid reached for the sidearm, Annuur and his fellow Cabbarans leaped on the staggering Prime, bearing him to the ground.

  Kaid spun round and pointed the gun at the other Primes as Rezac and Tirak raced for the nearest guard. Surprise gave them the precious seconds needed to wrench the rifle from his unsuspecting hands and pull him into the room, where T’Chebbi, Mrowbay and Sayuk jumped on him, grabbing his sidearm.

  Rezac muttered an oath and demanded the handgun. As he was given it, he passed the rifle back to T’Chebbi.

  Rifles are trank darts far as I can tell, he sent. I’ll check the pistol. A moment later he sent again. They’re live. Pistol aimed at the remaining Seniormost and guard, he advanced on them.

  Jeran shot past him, diving for the Seniormost’s legs. A shot barked out, the trank pellet just missing Jeran as he knocked the Seniormost into the guard, tumbling them all to the
ground.

  The rest of Tirak’s crew erupted into the corridor, and within seconds, the Primes were pinned down and their weapons taken.

  An alarm began to blare out, echoing throughout the corridors.

  “Get them inside,” Kaid roared over the noise. He’d heard no sounds of combat from behind him. That bothered him until he sensed from Carrie what was happening.

  This one’s wearing a gold tabard, she sent. A leader or senior officer at least. His faceplate’s cracked. The Cabbarans are trying to get the helmet off. He’s struggling a little but it’s under control. Same with the guard.

  Hauled to their feet, the other two captives were dragged into the room.

  “Release the Seniormost,” said a translator. “There is no need for this. We were coming to free you.”

  “Which one spoke?” demanded Giyesh, looking at the two that were on their feet.

  I can read them, sent Carrie. The gray one spoke. It’s the gold one, he’s their leader, and they’re afraid for his safety.

  Kaid sensed her uncertainty. Something was bothering her, but there wasn’t time for him to concern himself with that now.

  “Get their helmets off,” said Tirak, taking the pistol from Nayash and stepping forward to help cover the door.

  Abruptly, the alarm stopped, the silence sounding deafening by comparison.

  “Watch the corridor,” ordered Kaid, walking over to see the gold Prime for himself. “Strip them of all their armor. I want them as vulnerable as us.”

  The gold-robed Prime lay stunned, one hand moving slightly, as Sheeowl helped the Cabbarans to unlock the helmet. The faceplate was cracked but not enough for him to see the occupant. He turned back to the other captives. The first guard was still on the floor with Mrowbay and Sayuk crawling over him.

  “This is unnecessary,” repeated the gray Seniormost. “You are to be released.”

  “We are leaving, with you as insurance. Tell your people that,” said Kaid, gesturing to Manesh and Taynar to remove his helmet.