by Alexa Davis
“Oh, my God, you’re so hot,” I groaned loudly as I finally got my fingers on his hard, firm chest. “How did that happen?”
“Me? You’re the beautiful one here.”
Beautiful. I spent so much of my life working with models that I very rarely got called beautiful myself. It wasn’t the first time, but somehow, it was the one that stuck. I really felt like Marcus meant it from the deep pit of his soul.
Before I could respond, he whipped his fingers away from me, leaving me cold and very alone. I was just about to protest, to argue for him to carry on satisfying me, when he dropped to his knees – making his next move very clear.
His mouth moved right toward my slit, and he claimed me with his tongue...
Oh... My... God...
I tossed my head back in ecstasy as he traced over my clit, sending waves of pleasure through me. What he was doing to me felt better than anything else ever had – it was almost as if he knew my body better than I did myself, and it drove me wild.
“Oh, no,” I eventually felt compelled to cry out. “I want to fuck you.”
It wasn’t like me to be so brave. I never felt comfortable enough to declare what I wanted, especially with someone I barely knew, but if I didn’t do it now I might never get the chance to get what I really wanted.
Marcus stood up in an instant, and I watched in awe as he dropped his pants. I could already see what he had waiting for me, but I needed to know more. To prove how much I really wanted this, I tugged out the condom I always had in my pocket. It never got used, but I always preferred to be safe rather than sorry...
“Prepared.” He grinned brightly, clearly pleased with me. “I like that. I can only assume that you brought that because you knew I was coming today.”
“Nah, when you’re surrounded by male models all day long, you never know what’s going to happen,” I teased, while I pulled him in toward me. “Now, come here.”
I tugged his underwear down and pulled out a very impressive, thick erection. I ran my fingers over him for a moment, just getting a feel of him as my heart thundered in my ears. I tore the condom open with my teeth and rolled it down over him, my eyes fixed upon him the entire time.
Once he was ready to go, I grabbed hold of his butt and soon his length was teasing my entrance. Neediness was growing, and I was getting to the point where I was totally desperate, but unfortunately, the ball was totally in his court. He was stood up over where I was sitting on the desk, totally merciless to his every whim.
Eventually, Marcus could take it no more and thrust himself into me, causing a violent cry to burst from my chest. He felt incredible inside me, filling me up in the most amazing way possible, and I never wanted to let him go.
As he moved, his cock brushed my clit and sent me cascading into the abyss of pleasure way too quickly. The hot pleasure was bursting over my entire body, and I felt like I was exploding into cloud nine.
Admittedly, this had been a long time coming, which made it even more intense.
“Fuck, Marcus,” I screamed, clinging onto him. “Oh, my God.” I didn’t even care if it swelled his head, knowing what he was doing to me, I just couldn’t control myself.
This was the most powerful orgasm I’d ever had – it was shuddering through my whole body, making me buckle and crumble. Marcus clung to me, hanging on as if I was the most important person in the world.
As the orgasm subsided, another emotion crept in – one that was colder and more unpleasant. I should not have done that. Just because I wanted to, just because it felt good... What the hell is wrong with me? Cameron would be hurt by my actions, so would Maddie. This would kill her! Shit.
“I... I’m sorry,” I mumbled awkwardly, my emotions in utter turmoil. “That shouldn’t have happened; that was wrong.” I grabbed my clothes and started to shove them back on, without meeting his eyes at all. “Erm, thank you for standing in as a model, but that... that bit was wrong.”
“But...”
I couldn’t let him get a word in edgewise; I was still freaking out. “I’ll just wait out here, let you get dressed. Then we should go.”
I wanted to burst into tears as I slammed the door behind me, but I forced myself to keep it inside. I’d made a mistake, one small mistake. I could recover... couldn’t I? This wasn’t the worst thing that anyone had ever done, was it? I felt like I wanted to die, and this time because I’d acted horribly.
What the hell am I going to do now?
Chapter 17 – Marcus – Saturday
As the light started to stream through my apartment window, I gave up the pretense of sleeping and moved my aching body into a sitting position.
I wasn’t sure what was going on with Blair, and it was driving me insane. I felt like when we were having sex, when we were connected, I got to see the real her. But then we finished and she freaked out, acting like a completely different person.
Her blow off wasn’t a nice one – it made me feel horrible inside – but I understood why she did it. I knew her reasons were valid, but still, it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. It cut me deeper than I cared to admit.
I wanted her to throw herself into my arms. I wanted to hold her close. I wanted her to tell me that she liked me as much as I did her. But why would she when we both knew that the obstacles in our path were too hard to overcome? She was being smart, and I guessed it was good that at least one of us were.
I sighed deeply and moved across my apartment, trying to plan what I’d be doing for the rest of the day. I knew what I wanted to be doing. I wanted to call up Blair and spend some time with her, but if she didn’t want to, then there was nothing I could do about that. I didn’t even have her number, anyway, so there was no way of even making any plans.
The door swung open, and Cameron burst through it with a confident air brimming off him. I appreciated that he was here, I always wanted to see him, but right now I just needed a pensive moment alone.
As I glanced at him once more, a cold terror spiked in my chest as I wondered if he knew about what had happened between me and Blair. She did say that she didn’t want him to know, but maybe things had changed. Maybe she went crying to him, and he was here to kick my ass...
“Hey, how’s it going?” He smiled widely, dispelling all my fears, and dropped his stuff on my kitchen counter. “Sorry to love you and leave you, but I really need to pee.”
I nodded, relief flowing through me as it seemed that he didn’t hate my guts, after all. I didn’t want to alienate the one person I considered a friend in New York, even if it was for Blair. But damn it, I really wanted to be with Blair. My brain had never been so conflicted in my entire life.
As Cameron raced into the bathroom, I found my eyes drifting toward his phone, which he’d thrown haphazardly on the side. Blair’s number was in there, I knew that for a fact. All I had to do was look at it. But what if Cameron caught me? What would I do then? How the hell would I even begin to explain that one away?
Before I could argue that moral dilemma any longer, my fingers reached forward of their own accord. I grabbed it and scrolled through his contacts, my heart thundering in my chest the entire time. The fact that my body as reacting so harshly proved that I was doing the wrong thing, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. Blair was one hundred percent worth the risk, totally worth this crazed moral dilemma. I quickly typed the digits into my phone – and just in time, too, because Carson entered the room just as I was done.
“So, did you get your shit together yesterday?” he asked as the phone clattered back down, far too noisily for my liking.
His voice was so caring, so trusting, that it made me feel terrible. All I was doing was sneaking around behind his back, getting with the one person he really didn’t want me to, and all he was offering me was friendship. I was a real shit.
“Yep, all done.” I smiled thinly, hating myself the entire time. “How was your day? How was golf?”
“Ugh, well... Tex is a drunken fool, so we ended up fucking around and dr
inking most of the day. It was fun, but it would’ve been better if you were there. Then we could have played. Much as I love partying, I like playing golf, too.”
“Well, I’m not much of a golfer, but I’d love to play. Next time I’ll definitely come with you.”
“Do you have any stuff to sort out today or would you like to come to the gym? No girls – just for a workout, I promise.”
I hated that he thought I left England because of some heartache, but I couldn’t correct him on that one, either. There was no other reasonable explanation for my behavior except for the truth, and I really didn’t want to get into that with him. I was just going to have to let this one go for the moment, maybe correct him later.
“Yeah, I’m up for a workout.” I nodded slowly. “Just give me a moment to grab my stuff. Why don’t you tell me about all your drunken escapades while I’m in there?”
As I walked into the bedroom, I fired off a quick text to Blair, despite the fact that I shouldn’t. I just wanted her to know that I was still there for her, that I didn’t care too much about her blowing me off because I totally understood her reasons. Yes, the guilt still flooded me as I typed because I was betraying Cameron, but still I couldn’t stop myself.
Hi, Blair, it’s Marcus. I just wanted to give you my number so you can call me whenever you want to, if you want to. Thinking of you, Marcus
I typed it in a hurry, not wanting to get caught, so I didn’t realize how desperate and needy I sounded until I’d hit the send button and there was nothing I could do about it. It made me cringe inside, but it was far too late to do anything. I had to just grab my stuff and get back to my friend before he hated me forever more.
“...so, then he fell off the bar stool and knocked the tray right out of the waitress’ hand!” Cameron laughed loudly, and I joined in even though I’d missed most of the story. “Honestly, Tex is an ass, but he is fun. You’ll have to come out with us one night, too.”
“Sounds good, should we get going?”
***
True to his word, Cameron didn’t flirt with any of the girls at the gym, proving just how serious his fears about me were. Usually, there was nothing that could stop him hitting on everyone in sight, so the guilt grew into an even more powerful emotion. What sort of friend was I that I was willing to stop my friend getting laid rather than tell the truth?
“Man, are you ignoring your phone for a reason?” he eventually called out to me, over the noise of the thumping dance music pounding through the gym. “It’s been going off for a while now. Like, two or three times.”
I grabbed it, having not even noticed the sound of it ringing, and as I spotted the name on the screen, my heart stopped dead in my chest. Blair, the one person I really wanted to talk to, but the one that I couldn’t. Not with her brother looking right at me.
It was with a deep regret and a sickness in my stomach that I hit the reject button, sending her to voicemail. I was an asshole, however I looked at it. I was being a total dick to Cameron, my one and only friend in the States, and I’d just cut off Blair after texting her to call me if she wanted something. She was going to hate me... even more.
At this rate, I was going to end up with no one.
“Who was it?” Cameron asked inquisitively.
“Erm, just some girl,” I waved my hand dismissively, but I could already feel the embarrassed heat traveling through my body. “No one important.”
“Ah, the one back in England.” He nodded wisely, totally getting the wrong idea yet again. “Well, good riddance, I say. You can do better. You just need to get back up on the horse. You know, I think Maddie is available.”
I rolled my eyes and turned away from him, refusing to get into that one. The last person I wanted to think about was Maddie, not while my head was all over the place. I couldn’t stop wondering what Blair wanted. Does she want to ask me out? To tell me never to contact her again? I needed those answers so badly it actually hurt, but what could I do?
“You know,” Cameron mused, drawing my attention back to him. “I know you came here to escape whatever shit you have going on back home, but I’m really glad you did. I feel like you’re a real friend, you know? When I was with Tex yesterday, I kept thinking about how much more comfortable I am around you. I really feel like I can just be myself.”
“Yeah, me, too,” I replied through gritted teeth, hating myself even more. “I’m glad to have you, as well. It’s made my time here so much better.”
God damn it, why did I have to like Blair so much that I was willing to throw everything away for her? It just wasn’t right. Cameron should’ve been my priority. He’d been in my life for so much longer; we had reams of memories together. He was the first person I turned to when I needed a massive life upheaval and he sorted it all out for me. And, I repaid him by stabbing him in the back.
What I really needed to do was get home and delete Blair from my phone, forgetting about her. It was what I’d normally do. After all, we’d had our one fuck. She was too much trouble anyway – she came with too much drama attached.
But I already knew that was never going to happen...
“So, I guess what I’m really trying to say is that when you’re ready to talk about your family, or your heartache, then I’m here,” Cameron continued being the best person ever, causing me actual physical and mental pain. “I know you’re not much of talker, you never have been. I still don’t know why you don’t get along with your brother, who seems like a very reasonable dude to me.”
I smirked at him and cocked my head to one side, fully knowing that I was being teased. Paul was never described by anyone as a “reasonable dude.” “Yeah, he’s great. It’s just the stick up his ass that makes him so unappealing.” I rolled my eyes and chuckled. “And thanks, that’s awesome. I do appreciate you... you know, being so understanding.” Oh, God, I was terrible at expressing my feelings, had I always been that way? I’d never really thought about it before.
“Did you wanna maybe go out for a couple of drinks tonight? Grab something to eat?” Cameron patted me on the back, making it utterly impossible for me to turn him down. I would just have to contact Blair at another time. Or maybe not at all. That would be the best idea. “I was thinking that we could go to that new sushi place around the corner from mine, it’s supposed to have the best sake ever.”
“Sounds good, thanks.” I jumped off the machine and wiped some of the sweat from my forehead. “Just what I need.”
Chapter 18 – Blair – Saturday
“The person you are trying to reach is currently unavailable...”
I cut the call off and frowned to myself. Why the hell had Marcus told me to call him whenever, just to ignore my call? Either he was the biggest dick ever or maybe he was with someone who he couldn’t speak to me in front of. He had been with Cameron a lot, which made a lot of sense.
I didn’t like it, but I could understand it. After all, I practically ran away after sleeping with Marcus, barely throwing a goodbye his way, for the exact same reason. Just because my heart flew with excitement when I saw his name popping up on my screen, especially because he’d obviously gone out of his way to get my number, didn’t necessarily have to mean anything.
I was just about to tuck my phone back into my pocket, to forget about the whole thing, when I decided to reply to his text message instead. At least then he would know I came in peace. That wasn’t a bad move, was it? However we looked at it, we were still going to have to be in one another’s lives, so peace was a positive thing.
Hi, Marcus, thank you for your message...
Oh, God, what did I say now? How did I make myself sound cool and breezy?
It was nice to hear from you, Blair
There, that wasn’t too bad, was it?
I almost jumped into the air as my phone blasted out, half expecting it to be Marcus, but it was another name filling my screen, one causing my heart to ice over with guilt. Maddie. Shit, how does she always seem to know when I’m doing som
ething wrong?
“He... hello?” I stammered awkwardly, self-hate racing through me. “You okay, Maddie?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to have a chat with you.” I could hear the stress in her tone and the chatter blasting out in the background, which meant something dramatic and probably horrible was going on in her workplace. “I’m fricking done with this place. Can you meet for lunch? I really could use an ear to bash right about now.”
“I’m so sorry.” I shook my head. Again, I was being a terrible person. “I agreed to have lunch with my dad...” There was a pregnant pause, which compelled me to continue speaking. “But how about you come over for drinks later? We can have a gossip and bitch then?”
“Yeah, okay, thanks.” She sighed sadly. “I just... I don’t know, I can’t stand it for too much longer. It’s a fucking nightmare, and there’s just no climbing the career ladder. Oh, God, I better go. The new intern, Nicole, is about to have another hissy fit, and I don’t want to miss it. That’s about the only thing that keeps me amused these days.”
“Right, okay...” There was no point in finishing that sentence, she was already gone. I felt awful. My career was at a high. Sure, there were parts of it I didn’t always enjoy, such as dealing with bitchy models all day long, but on the whole, it was good. Maddie was talented enough to blow most of their journalists out of the water, if only she’d get a chance.
I glanced at my watch, noticing it was already time to go, before grabbing my purse and chucking it over my shoulder. It wasn’t often that my dad had time for me – he was a busy man who didn’t totally approve of my “artsy, bohemian lifestyle,” as he chose to call it – so I had to make the most of it when he did. He was much more like Cameron, a man who enjoyed the finer things in life for barely any work, which was lucky for him really because he invested his inheritance wisely at an early age, enabling himself to fund the way he wanted to live.