by Alexa Davis
Two hours later, sitting at the bar in my kitchen, all I wanted to do was hit my head on the counter until I knocked myself out. I checked in with Shaunte, who said the kids were great, and Dale was home from work and building them a skyscraper from empty boxes he’d purchased for them to move with.
Knowing I could not stand my own company for one more minute, I invited her over, and promised her wine. I had popped the cork and was letting it breathe in a special decanter Tucker had left on one of his visits, when I heard her knock at the door, and wondering why she bothered, I hollered for her to come in, or kick the door if her arms were full and she need help.
I heard the beep of our security system as the door opened, and another as it closed, and I started digging through my fridge for snacks to munch on while we complained about our jobs and kids. We never complained about husbands. Hers was too amazing to pick on, and mine had been too damaged to be funny. But for what it was worth, I was happier than I’d ever been, and my head was in a good place, no longer just worried about surviving until tomorrow, but looking ahead to the future, to doing something that would bring me a sense of fulfilment and happiness.
I backed away from the fridge with an armload of fattening foods, and as it closed, I turned to ask Shaunte for help getting it all to the counter. Instead, the entire pile hit the floor as I stared into the pale, drawn face of the one woman I never expected to see in my kitchen.
“Kristy, oh wow. Um, hold on; let me clean this up.” Kristy bent down and helped me pick up the fruit and cheeses that had rolled away from me on the tile floor, and smiled shyly as she piled it on onto the counter.
“You said come in,” she started, uncertainty in her voice. “You had your head in the fridge, I didn’t want to say something and have you bash your head.” I laughed.
“Thanks for that.” I scrubbed my hand over my neck. “I was expecting someone else, but I’m happy to see you.”
“Well, are you happy to see me too?” Shaunte’s voice floated in from the foyer. “I come bearing high-fat snacks and wine coolers!” Kristy chewed her lip nervously, but she sat in the barstool I pulled out for her, and relaxed as she watched me cut pears and apples and arranged them on a plate with aged cheddar and goat cheeses. I introduced them, and gave Kristy a paring knife and an apple to keep her hands busy.
“Damn Libby, you and your fancy schmancy cheese plates,” She rolled her eyes and I saw Kristy hide a smile as Shaunte winked at her. “I brought donut holes, Bugles, and Chex mix. You’re welcome.” I pointed her toward the cupboard with the bowls and earned myself another eye roll. “I know where the damned dishes are, snowflake.” Kristy’s eyes were huge as she watched Shaunte move around the kitchen as if it was her own, and tease me at every turn.
“You must be Libby’s best friend,” Kristy finally said to her, quietly.
“Well, yes, I like to think I am, but why do you say that?” Shaunte leaned over the counter and smiled at the young woman.
“Because you know her kitchen, and you make fun of her. I’ve never heard anyone do that, even from the people who don’t like her. They’d try, but it was like they were telling a joke with no punchline. I thought it meant Libby was kind of scary.” A surprised laugh escaped Shaunte, and when she looked at me, I couldn’t help but laugh, too.
“She’s not scary. She almost broke her face last week, trying to tease a coworker with a carafe of water.”
“God. Thanks, Shaunte.” I put away the extra food and admired the spread. “Looks good. Now we can drink more without getting sick.” Shaunte and Kristy got to know each other while they sipped their drinks, Shaunte with a glass of pinot noir, Kristy with a wine cooler.
“I have not had one of these since—well, since I skipped school and went hiking with my best friend,” Kristy reminisced with a giggle. “We thought we were so badass, smoking cigarettes she conned the gas station attendant into selling, and drinking the coolers we stole from her mom.”
“Whatever happened to her?” I asked.
“She got me into dancing,” Kristy sighed. “And then she got me into coke.” Shaunte and I exchanged a glance, but said nothing. “Then, I stopped using, because I just wasn’t into drugs. The next thing I knew, we weren’t friends anymore, and she made sure the world knew she hated me.”
Her voice was low and I pretended I didn’t see the stray tear that dropped onto the counter as she stared down at her plate. Shaunte set a stack of napkins on the table and pushed one off the top towards the sniffling girl.
“You must think I’m such a loser,” Kristy sniffed. “I didn’t plan on coming here and feeling sorry for myself.”
“Why did you come?” Shaunte shot me a look and I rephrased the question. “I mean, you’re always welcome, did you have a reason to come, or did you just want to say ‘hi’?” Kristy played with the food on her plate, her face screwed into a grimace.
“I don’t have anywhere to go, and because of the freeze on my, well, on Andrew’s assets, I’m broke.” She looked up at me and I covered my face with my palm.
“Yeah. Tucker started this whole… ethics… thing, and it included investigating him and that cute little student, Cynthia, so you aren’t alone in that dinghy.”
“So, you want money from Libby, after wrecking her marriage and taking everything she had to begin with?” I waved my hands and rushed to Kristy’s side.
“She had nothing to do with my divorce, Shaunte. He met her after we’d separated.” My friend backed down, but her grey eyes glinted dangerously. I rubbed Kristy’s shoulder and smiled at my protective friend. “How much do you need to survive until this is over, Kristy?” She shrugged and shook her head.
“I don’t really want your money,” she countered. “I just want my life back.” I chewed on my cheek for a moment.
“Did I ever tell either of you, that Andrew filed for divorce right after he found out he had cancer? He never even told me he was sick.” Kristy and Shaunte exchanged glance. “Crazy, right? Who does that?” I patted Kristy one last time and claimed my glass of wine, drained it, and held it out to Shaunte for a generous refill.
“Then why did he propose to me?”
“I don’t know. Did he tell you he was dying?” Kristy frowned and shook her head.
“He said he had been sick, that’s why he’d lost some weight.”
“I can’t help but wonder, knowing the way he was, if he thought he’d manage it on his own then realized he just couldn’t stand to be alone. The nefarious Mrs. Peele Senior isn’t exactly the caregiving type.”
“Great. Was anything he said, not a lie?” Kristy tossed her empty cooler in the trash and grabbed a wine glass. I winked at Shaunte and opened two more bottles of white I had in the fridge, just in case, and Shaunte filled Kristy’s glass.
“Did he tell you you’re beautiful?” I asked, chuckling at Kristy’s snort. “Did he tell you he never loved me?” Her face went from irritated, to grave, and she looked down at the glass she as spinning slowly in her hands. “Well, there you are. Two non-lies, right off the bat.” I folded my arms. “What can I do to help you, Kristy?”
“I shouldn’t have brought my problems to your doorstep. I should go.” I snatched Kristy’s purse from the barstool next to her.
“You’ve had too much to drink. On top of that, you are the only other person in the world who truly understands what I went through with Andrew. I don’t hate you for being the next person he latched onto, I hate him for putting you through all that, just so he didn’t have to die alone, all because he realized it was harder than he thought.” The silence that filled my kitchen was heavier than my heart the day I’d realized what I said to Kristy was true.
“We are going to need more than wine for this therapy session,” Shaunte drawled. She whipped out her phone and her fingers flew over the face. “Dale’s sending fried chicken and cinnamon rolls. You’ll thank me later.”
“Last time, Kristy. What can I do to help?” She twisted her fingers together
anxiously, in an all too familiar gesture.
“Can I stay with you for a few days? I’ll pay you back for whatever I use, once I get a job.”
“I have a room you can use. But I don’t want your money. Just—don’t leave the fridge empty if you empty it, don’t leave messes in your wake, and be nice to Olivia. You are her stepmom, after all.” Kristy gasped. Andrew hadn’t let us near his new wife or himself before he died. I watched her face as she processed what I’d offered, and knew her answer from the tears that poured down her face. She took off, then circled back and I pointed her toward the guest washroom.
“Are you ready for a houseguest who’s slept with your husband?” Shaunte asked.
“Ex-husband. Honestly, the hardest part will be that seeing her might make me think of him on occasion. I’m sure even that would pass, though.” Shaunte drank her wine and folded her dark arms in front of her chest, eyeing me coolly.
“Never a dull moment with you, Libby. Olivia will be thrilled at the new company. But I wonder what Tucker will think.”
I nodded my head. “Me too. I’d like to know what he’d think of quite a few things. Too bad he isn’t here to weigh in.” I drained my wine and sighed. Maybe life wasn’t as simple without him as I’d thought. Which meant that missing him had no upside at all.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Tucker
My parents weren’t as enthusiastic about my decision to put my career on the line in the name of honor as my brothers had been, but Mom instantly demanded I spend my time away from work on the ranch. Danny had turned his ankle falling from a mustang he was breaking, and with Dad’s back getting bad, it was all hands on deck.
My brother Logan had just finished a stint out on the fences, and I was happy to take his place so he could get back to wander the corners of the world taking pictures of impossible things, like spiders big enough to eat birds in Australia, and fish that had been declared extinct centuries before washed up on the shores of Africa.
I certainly wouldn’t have any exciting stories for the men like Logan would have told, but I worked a lot faster, so I figured they wouldn’t mind, too much, that I replaced him. The hardest part of being out there was that I wouldn’t have a way to contact Libby. I knew that was pretty much the point of it all, but everything in me balked at leaving her without anyone to lean on, if things got tough.
Kennedy bounced all over the bed and suitcase while I packed. There had been a time when I left a closetful of clothes in my old room, but I always felt bad about all the room they took up in what should have been a guest closet, so I’d had Danny’s wife donate them when they took over the big ranch house. Now, I was forced to pick through my closet for jeans that would hold up to a couple of weeks of hard labor riding the fences and taking care of whatever projects Danny would be trying to do even in a giant foot brace.
“Ready to go chase cows, little mutt?” I teased. She tilted her head to one side, and one long, silky ear flipped inside out. I set it right again and rubbed down her neck to the base of her spine. She kicked her leg and grinned at me in pure canine bliss.
I swung my suitcase closed and dropped I it by the door as my phone bleated at me. I tried to ignore it, but I knew it wouldn’t stop until I picked up, and with a glance to make sure the flat was ready to lock up, I accepted the call.
“Carl, you know you aren’t supposed to be calling. What makes you think you’re surprising me by using company landlines?” The phone was slammed into the receiver, making my ear ring. The only good piece of information that I got from his juvenile phone call pranks was that he had not been suspended from Cripke, Cripke, and Stokes. Well, that and, from the things he had yelled at me before hanging up the day before, I was the only focus of his anger.
He was the other reason I worried about leaving Austin proper. The ranch wasn’t so far away that I couldn’t get back to Libby if I was needed, but it felt like the other side of the world— and if I was out in the middle of God’s country with no cell service, then Libby was completely on her own. Carl Jameson had started this. For years, he’d put profit before ethics, and I had been told to look the other way because he made the firm money.
In Kristy, he’d finally got himself someone to take advantage of who was young enough, and primed enough by her controlling husband, to do whatever she was told. He had no qualms about it, even if it meant hurting a woman and a child he didn’t know to line his pockets. Or so he’d thought.
I went into my phone and blocked the secretaries’ landline from my phone. Unless he managed to use Mr. Stokes’ personal line, which was separate from the rest of the company, instead of just its own extension, he’d burned every individual phone line at the firm—not to mention his own cell phone. I wished I believed it would make him stop. Instead, I felt like warning Libby and Kristy that he might come for them instead, and to avoid strange phone calls from strangers.
I put Kennedy on her leash and hit the “call” button from Libby’s contact screen. “Better safe than sorry,” I thought to myself as the phone rang on the other side. I had emailed her after I’d been called before an emergency grand jury hearing to decide the fate of her case, based on the ethics issues, and told her the judge would be waiting two weeks before deciding the case, simply to allow time for any other evidence to be presented, considering the confusion Kristy had created with her allegations of inappropriate, possibly illegal behavior from Mrs. Peele Senior, Cripke, Cripke, and Stokes, and Jameson in particular.
I looked at my watch as the phone switched over to voicemail. She was still at the preschool, and I would have to settle for a message. Instead of leaving her a worrying message, I told her that I missed Olivia terribly, and hoped they were doing well. It was easier and less frightening to for her to get a text that explained the circumstances. I also texted her the list of blocked numbers from my phone before jamming it into my pocket, irritated that I hadn’t been able to talk to her.
Libby had taken over every sleeping thought, and a good number of my waking ones, too. I had always appreciated the value of not being tied to just one person, and my relationships after my failed engagement a few years before had been casual and short-lived by design. Now, I was stalling with leaving. On the ranch, there was no “accidentally” bumping into Libby like I had in the past. No driving past the school, just to catch a glimpse of her smile on my way to work, or spontaneous lunches.
That woman had always caught my attention, even when I hadn’t wanted to feel that attraction, back when she was married to my best friend. Clichéd as it was, I hadn’t acted on it, because I was a Hargrave, and Hargrave men didn’t need to ruin other people’s relationships to get attention. But she’d always been there, so sweet, and funny, and ethereal, that she was impossible to ignore. Just thinking about her long slender legs and the soft curves they led up to made my pulse bump up.
I cursed myself for setting the Ethics Committee on Carl. The isolation was getting to me, and I was horny and frustrated because no other woman was going to satisfy me, and I wasn’t sure I’d get another chance at the one who did. I thought about calling again, asking her to meet me so I could touch her one last time. It could be so easy—hot, even. Any seedy motel would do, and there was one behind Shelley’s, the truck stop bar on the edge of town, not too far from the ranch.
The image of her twisted up in the sheets in a dingy motel made me hard so fast my pants pulled tight across my stomach and pressed my zipper painfully into me. No icy lake water swim would be enough to cool the heat that threatened to burn me from the inside out. I made it to the car without calling her, but the next thing I knew, I had driven towards the Sunshine Days Academy, instead of taking the entrance for the interstate.
I let the car idle in the parking lot across the street while I called, and when she picked up, told her where I was. Seconds later, she was at the road, glancing around before jogging towards me, her sundress fluttering around her legs and pressing against her body, the outline of her under the s
heer fabric making my fingers itch to trace the line in created.
“Hey, you okay?” she panted as she reached me. Without a word, I crushed her to me, holding her up as she sagged against me, opening her full lips to my searching tongue. I delved into the wet sweetness of her mouth, tasting her as she pressed herself against the bulge in my pants.
“God, I want you. Come with me, one more time before I go. I can’t stand the thought of being so far away from you for so long.” She nipped at my jaw as I cupped her rear in my hands and pulled her to me even harder.
“I thought you were only gone for a week or so,” she said, a worried look in her eyes. “Has something changed?”
“No.”
“So, what do you want from me, exactly?” She teased, rocking against me, and running her fingers through my hair, giving me gooseflesh.
“I know you don’t want to be a couple. I get it,” I sighed, trying to focus on anything other than the soft, clean, floral scent of her skin. “But we are so good together, and I can’t stop thinking about you.” She pushed back and looked up into my face, her eyes sparkling with silent laughter.
“You want my body.”
“Oh, God yes. I thought that was clear long ago,” I scoffed.
“I could let Olivia stay for the afternoon class,” she laughed softly. “I’ve missed you.” She slid her hands down my arms and the hair stood on end.
“But we’re not a couple,” I reminded her.
“Hasn’t stopped us yet. I don’t want anyone else, Tucker, I’m just not ready to belong to a man again.” I kept my face as blank as I could, but I could see the hurt in her eyes. I didn’t want to own her. But how could I not be frustrated, when I was finally ready to take that step, and the only thing standing in the way of my future was her past?
She pulled my head down to her and kissed me, but the fire that I’d felt all the way here had been doused in ice water. It wasn’t fair for me to keep demanding her body, when she couldn’t give anything else. Libby wasn’t that kind of woman. It was one of the things that made me want her so bad in the first place.