by Alexa Davis
“Please be safe while I’m gone. No strangers in the house, and if you start getting weird calls, don’t wait to call someone—and call Snell and Wilmer even before you call the police.”
“You’re just going to leave now?”
“Until the Ethics Committee can establish that I didn’t file the complaint against Carl to help win your lawsuit, we don’t want to be seen snuggling in public.” Libby folded her arms under her breasts and glared at me. “I missed you, Libby. What should I say, that I’ll control my feelings so all I want is sex, and never think about you any other way?”
“I’m not being fair. I get it. Please don’t be angry.” Even in the shade of the tree I’d parked under, I could see the sheen of tears in her eyes.
“This is the worst timing ever, and I’m not angry. Sometimes I wish I’d fallen in love with you when I was twenty-one, instead of being such a school-focused nerd.”
“Best-looking nerd ever. If you had liked me, my whole life would’ve turned out differently.” She smiled when she said it, but I knew she wasn’t kidding. Even if we hadn’t ended up together, she probably never would’ve dated Andrew, let alone married him.
“Olivia seems more than worth it, though.”
“She’d be just as special if she was yours, Tuck. But in the end, I’m sort of a package deal. That’s got to be something you aren’t just ready to deal with, but what you really want.” She kissed me on the cheek, and turned back towards the preschool.
Thoroughly deflated in every way, I watched her until she disappeared through the glass door of the school. She wasn’t wrong, and I knew it. But I wasn’t wrong either. We both deserved happiness. I knew she was mine. I hoped she realized that I was hers before it was too late. I’d lost her once because I hadn’t been confident enough to reach out to her, and it had taken ten years to be back where we started. I wasn’t about to wait another one. One way or another, when I came down from the mountain, I was going to make her see things my way.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Libby
The girls’ restroom was empty when I went back inside after disappointing Tucker, so I ducked in through the swinging door and had a little cry, before heading back in to clean up after craft time and help get the kids their last snack before pick-up. Paul noticed my red eyes, but, thankfully, waited until the children were all one their way home with their respective parents before asking.
“So, are you going to tell me what had you running out the door looking like the fourth of July, and skulking back in like a kicked puppy?” He cornered me at the sink while I rinsed the last of the paintbrushes and upended them in jars to dry.
“Tucker’s going to his parents’ for a bit since he’s waiting to go back to work. He wanted to, um, get away for a minute to say goodbye.”
“He booty-called you at work, and you didn’t body slam him into the sidewalk and walk away? You like him a lot more than you let on.” I shrugged and pushed past him to get my things, checking the playground for Olivia, who was swinging by herself on the swing set.”
“He wants to be a couple, and I said no.” Paul made a sound of exasperation.
“But you want him.”
“Yup.” Paul laughed and patted me on the shoulder.
“I did not see myself ever feeling sorry for a lawyer, but I do. At least you know he isn’t just after your bod.” I sniffed and rubbed my eyes.
“You’d think I’d be on cloud nine. And to be fair, I should be. He’s amazing, and he’s so sweet with Olivia, and oh boy, when we’re alone…” Paul cut me off, waving his hands.
“God, please, no,” he huffed. “I’m not that gay guy who loves to hear his girlfriends talk about their men’s bodies. Weirds me out.” I choked out a surprised laugh.
“Don’t worry, that was the end of the sentence.” I glanced out at Olivia, still playing happily in the sunshine. “I want to be with him. I just don’t want to second guess myself for the rest of our relationship, waiting for it to turn out like my last one. I only planned to marry once. I can’t fail a second time.” I sighed and let Paul hug me. “Trust me, Tucker is the marrying kind. That’s why no one has lasted with him. If they aren’t the future Mrs. Hargrave, why bother?”
“Wow. Heavy stuff,” he agreed. I grabbed my purse and Olivia’s backpack, then went to call her in from the fenced in playground. When I looked outside, she was at the fence, talking to a man on the other side. I shoved the door open with a bang, and ran at the fence, just as he handed something to her through it.
“Get the hell away from my daughter!” I yelled as I ran full force at the fence slamming into it with my shoulder. I bounced back of it, but I’d hit it hard enough that it had smacked him in the head, knocking off his baseball cap. Carl Jameson scowled at me and I threaded my fingers through the chain link and shook the fence. “I’m calling the cops. Right now,” I warned him, and picked Olivia up to carry her inside.
“I’m on with them now, Libby!” Paul called out as he stepped outside. “Yes, middle aged man, about six foot, white, wearing a red baseball cap and a jogging suit.” Carl made a snarling noise and got into the sedan parked at the curb. “Drives a Lexus, with a personalized license plate L-A-W-D-A-W-G.” Paul paused and glanced at me, before clearing his throat. “Seriously? That paunch-ass predator thinks that’s an appropriate license plate?” I arched an eyebrow at him.
“Is that at me, or the dispatcher?”
Paul chuckled.
“It’s for Sherry. She’s a friend of my mom’s, so she said I could always call her direct if something happened here at the Academy.” I called out a thank you to Sherry the dispatcher, and took Olivia inside to wait for the police to arrive, while Paul called Mrs. Dunham.
When she joined us, the police had already taken statements from Paul and I, an Olivia had handed over the candy Carl had given her. She told the police she would never have talked to a stranger, but she remembered her daddy’s friend Carl, from when her daddy was alive.
Paul took her to play with the afternoon kids, and Maggie Dunham sat with her arm around me as I explained the situation with Mr. Jameson. They wrote a temporary restraining order for me, and one for the school. They warned us that the court would probably overturn my private order, as there was insufficient evidence of wrongdoing. But they encouraged us to pursue a permanent order of protection for the school, as that was more likely to be given.
Maggie saw them to the door, after asking me to meet her in her office. Olivia was enjoying her third school snack of the day, and said she wanted to stay, and Paul offered to stick around, in case I felt like I needed a ride home once Maggie was through with me.
It was with trepidation that I knocked on the solid wood door to the administrator’s office. It was the only opaque door in the school, aside from the restrooms, and the only one inside that locked. Needless to say, it felt like getting sent to the principal’s office for discipline whenever I was forced to go up those stairs to stand in front of that door. She called me in and I stood just inside the door, poised to run if necessary.
“Oh sit, for crying out loud. I’m not going to bite you.” She shuffled some papers on her desk and waited until I finally gave up and sat across the desk from her.
“So, how about you tell me what’s going on with you. You aren’t your usual prickly self, all sad and frightened. I don’t have much respect for a woman scared of her own shadow.”
“You’ve hated me from the moment I set foot in here,” I blurted out, before closing my mouth with a snap.
“Well, there’s no love lost between me and your ex-husband’s law firm. But I suppose you’re as much a victim of those men as I am.” I kept my mouth in a tight line and waited for her to continue. “Of course, you were responsible for bringing any danger you might be putting the children in to my attention.”
“There shouldn’t be any danger to the children. I contested my husband’s will. That’s it.”
“Your ex-husband.”
“Yes.”
“Are you going to get anything now?” Her eyes narrowed to slits and I felt my jaw clench around the angry words I was fighting not to say.
“I was never getting anything, Mrs. Dunham. As you pointed out, he divorced me.” She continued to stare me down until I continued. “Olivia had a college fund. A trust we had set up for her when she was born, that she’d get when she turned eighteen. It went missing. I work part time for you, Mrs. Dunham. I can’t afford to send her to college without that money.”
“I’ll be sure to get a permanent order of protection for the school. I certainly don’t want parents worried that your lawsuit is going to put any of the other children in harm’s way.” I sighed and nodded, biting my tongue. After all, I didn’t expect that she’d suddenly become human.
I excused myself and Paul followed us home in his truck. I offered to feed him, if he’d run to the store for me and pick up a few things I needed. I was still shaky and nauseated from Carl’s unexpected visit to the school, and my brain couldn’t stop chewing on what possible reason he had to come stalking us. Paul happily agreed and refused my money, and we split up—Olivia and I going inside to check on Kristy, who was on day two of staying with us, and Paul to Carr’s for groceries.
As to the reason Carl had come around the preschool, it didn’t take too long to figure out. Kristy was curled up in a ball on the couch, a wad of used tissues crumpled in her fist. She let me read the slew of texts that she’d woken up to. She hadn’t responded, so then he’d begun calling and leaving messages. They ran the gamut of wheedling “I miss you”s, to anger, to name-calling and threats.
“Kristy. How long has this been going on?”
“He started the day I was supposed to leave the hospital. I left my phone in lockup when I was under observation, so there were a lot of messages when I got out.”
“You told him you were here?” I tried to control the rage that was simmering in my gut.
“God, no! I came here because I had nowhere else to go but to him. I figured he’d never expect me to be here.”
“He came to the preschool an hour ago, and got Olivia by herself for a minute or two. I think we need to get Olivia in here. She said he didn’t talk to her, but….”
“Maybe I should go pack while you talk to her.” I looked at her sweet, open face, the same worry in her eyes as mine.
“No. Tucker’s M.I.A. We need to stay together. If it gets any worse, maybe we can have Cynthia stay here, too.”
“Oh, that would be nice. She came to see me, you know?” Kristy confessed. “She was so nice, and I don’t know if you guys talked much, but she had it rough as a kid, so….” I watched her face, and the happy flush that crept into her cheeks.
“I’m glad she was there for you,” I admitted. “I feel better about her knowing she took the time.”
“Well, she admitted that at first she had an ulterior motive. She wanted to see if I was lying to get attention. Now, I think she, you know, likes me.”
“Oh.” My mouth made a round “O” of surprise and I blushed. Kristy shrugged.
“Lots of exotic dancers have less conventional ideas about sex, and you’d be surprised how many actually have issues with men, and don’t date them.” I thought about the life I’d lived, and tried to multiply that times bosses and customers and random stalkers.
“No. I’m not really surprised at all. Um, let me get Olivia in here.” I searched out my girl and brought her and a chocolate milk into the living room. She readily told “Aunty Kristy” all about how Mommy ran into the fence like a guard dog, because Daddy’s friend was being rude and talking to her when he was outside the fence.
“Grownups aren’t supposed to talk to kids through the fence,” she said very solemnly, her toes in one hand, chocolate milk in the other. Kristy and I exchanged a glance, and she shook her head.
“Olivia, your Aunt Kristy is going to stay here longer than she planned, okay? What do you think?” Olivia cheered and toasted with her sippy cup of milk.
“And Uncle Tuck?” She added, her grin lighting up her entire little face. I heard a low chuckle from Kristy, who pulled Olivia into her lap like they’d always been best friends.
“Oh, I don’t know, Olivia, he’s away for a little bit.” Kristy eyed me from slanted eyes.
“He’s out at the ranch, right?” I tried to cut her off, but she kept right on going. “You loved the ranch that Tucker comes from, right?” Olivia jumped off the couch and ran in circles around us, begging to go back to the ranch and play with the horses.
“Why?” I asked Kristy, who giggled and shrugged.
“It gets you out of the bullseye, Libby. I can handle myself, but I never wanted to put Olivia in harm’s way.” I sighed.
“If we go, you go. Trust me. There’s room, and Tucker would be disappointed in me if I left you behind. The problem is that Tucker doesn’t want to see me right now. I can’t show up on his doorstep the same day that I told him I’m not ready for a relationship with him,” I hissed as Olivia expanded her victory march to the kitchen and dining room.
The trouble was, I did want to be with him. I wanted to wake up next to him every morning, and fall asleep next to him every night. I couldn’t tell him that the best moments of my life were watching him read to Olivia and helping me tuck her into bed.
“You gotta fix this, Libby,” Kristy commanded. “If there’s anything that intensive psychological evaluation has taught me,” she laughed, “it’s that you can’t wait for good things to prove themselves absolutely. Life is yours to create. Pushing away your best happiness just in case you’re wrong will never bring you anything but loneliness and pain.”
I knew she was right. But knowing she was right, and knowing how I could make it right with Tucker, were two very different animals.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Tucker
No one had asked why I was back, which was one of the best things about being surrounded by men all the time. A lot less fun in a lot of ways, but you were almost guaranteed privacy and a hundred miles between you and anyone who would even suggest you had feelings.
That said, it was an entirely different story when the shadow that fell on me while I was repairing a fence post turned out to be my mother. Hannah Hargrave was not a woman to be trifled with. Her stubbornness was honed to perfection from years of being the smallest and physically weakest person on the ranch, and she’d taught all five of her sons that they were no match for her five-foot-tall, hundred-ten pounds of pure bullheadedness.
“Hey Mom, did you bring me lunch?” I’d been out all day, and hadn’t bothered to eat with the family and ranch hands since I’d arrived. She didn’t say a word, and a boxed lunch dropped at my side, which I knew wasn’t a good sign. I wrapped the wire around the fencepost and sat back on my haunches, looking up at her from under the brim of my hat.
“Any idea what’s going on back on the front lines with those little girls you left all alone?” she asked, one hand slapping her work gloves against her hip.
“I know that if Libby heard you calling her a ‘little girl,’ and making her sound helpless, she’d kick your skinny butt.” I laughed, a split second before her gloves connected with the side of my head. “Mom!”
“The police were at the preschool that Libby works at. A man tried to take Olivia from the play yard.”
“Wait, what? When did this happen? I was just there yesterday before I came up.” I sopped sweat off my face with the handkerchief my father had loaned me, and stood up, now towering over my tiny mother.
“Yesterday afternoon. I found out from Karen Monaghan, who heard from Maggie Dunham, about an hour ago. You probably don’t remember Maggie, but she runs the committee for the safety fair every spring.”
“I remember that she’s an awful gossip and intolerably self-absorbed.” My mother glowered at me. “She’s also Libby’s boss, and she isn’t nice to Libby,” I admitted.
“Well, to hear her tell it, they’re best fri
ends. Anyway, some lawyer Karen said has dealings with Libby, approached Olivia while she was waiting outside alone for her mother yesterday, right at the end of class. I don’t know if I believe it, but she said Libby threw herself at the fence like a wild animal, and then the police gave her a restraining order against the man.” I leaned forward as all the blood seemed to drain out of my face, down to my toes. You’ll never guess who it was….”
“Jameson.”
That one word suddenly held all the hate I had ever had, for all the monsters in the world. I kicked the fence post and threw my gloves out into the grass, and cursed loudly enough for all of Austin to hear.
“So, you did already know.” She made it a statement, but I shook my head.
“I need to check my phone. Is there anyone who can take over for a while?” She rolled her eyes at me, and patted me on the shoulder.
“Believe it or not, we managed to get the chores done, even while you were being a bigshot and neglecting your family.”
“Well, Libby and Olivia are my family. So, I need to clear this up.” She offered me her horse, but I’d ridden out in the truck with a bed full of fencing materials, and I wasn’t going to leave her without a ride. It was at least two miles to the ranch house and even if I wanted to accept the ride, my father would never have forgiven me for taking the ride and making my own mother walk.
I told her I’d meet her at the house and started the long walk back, leaving my gloves somewhere out in the field and my little cardboard lunch next to the fence to break down and fertilize their small patches of ground. My legs ate up the ground as I strode, then jogged back to the house, envisioning the many ways I planned to destroy Jameson’s life, as my rage grew with each step. I was soaked with sweat and ready for war when I reached the lower pastures and our horse master, who was busy vaccinating all the brood mares.