Basic Training of the Heart

by Jaycie Morrison

  Melvin set down two plates of food. It smelled delicious. “We get a big rush at lunch, weekdays,” he said, thoughtfully. “A lot of working men and some women, mostly ones and twos. Then dinnertime, it’s more families—like four or five, sometimes more.”

  “We should look at how many you can seat now, see if there’s any way to change the configuration of the room,” Bett said, resisting the impulse to pick up her fork. “I have another idea too, but let’s look at that first.”

  “No, you eat first,” Melvin said.

  “Oh, good.” Bett smiled. “I was rather hoping you’d say that.”

  Melvin smiled back. Gracie looked at Rains who tipped her head in Bett’s direction just a bit and raised her eyebrows. “Hmph,” Gracie said again, but she didn’t sound quite as hostile.

  After eating, they looked at tables and counted seats. Bett pointed out that the round tables were a disadvantage, taking more space and unable to be combined for larger groups. They calculated that by cutting off the curves of their tables, they could fit five more one or two tops around the outside walls and then have room for more group tables of four, six, or eight in the middle.

  “What else?” Rains asked, watching Bett’s thoughtful expression as she examined the dining area.

  Bett pointed to a small shuttered back area. “This is wasted space. You could make it standing room only, just attach a narrow shelf to the wall and let people stand to eat. You could probably fit five or six more people there. Also, there are probably some who would be willing to take their food away and eat it elsewhere, like at a park or back on the job. You could offer a few cents’ discount on food taken out and that might save you a few seats.”

  Gracie was shaking her head, but Melvin said, “It might be worth it, taking off a little bit, if we ended up with more paying customers who stayed.”

  “Maybe you would only offer food to take away at your busiest hours,” Rains suggested.

  Bett smiled at her. “You’re sounding like a businesswoman now, Sergeant.” Gracie nodded then. “One more thing. I know we’re getting into fall but there should be a few more good days yet, and there’s also the option of using those barrels for heat until it gets really cold.”

  “For what?” Rains asked.

  “Dining alfresco—out of doors—is very popular in Europe. Sidewalk cafés are where people love to gather and linger over coffee or a meal. I think you have enough room on the sidewalk outside here for several of those two- or three-seat tables. In the fall, spring, and early summer, I’d think those tables would be quite popular.”

  Gracie looked out the window. “I think you’re right. Nice weather, folks would enjoy that.”

  “Is the next-door owner a local man?” Bett asked.

  “Yeah. He live across town though,” Melvin said.

  “But when he learns you’ve been able to take care of your problem with these changes, at least temporarily, that may be the time to offer him a lower price,” Bett suggested. “When you don’t really need the place, you see? You’re just trying to take it off his hands for him.”

  “College, huh?” Melvin asked, looking at her admiringly. He turned to Gracie. “Maybe Evie can go when she get out the Army.”

  “Don’t get ahead of yourself, old man,” Gracie said, laughing. “Let’s see how all this work out before we start making college plans for everyone.” She turned to Bett. “I gotta admit, you got some good ideas, little one. What’s your name?”

  “Please, just call me Smitty,” Bett said, shaking each of their hands, “and I want to thank you for the best meal I’ve had in a long, long time.” She was reaching into her pocket but Gracie stopped her.

  “Your money’s no good here.”

  Bett could tell this was not an argument she would win. “Well then, let me just say that it was a pleasure to meet you both.”

  She watched with surprise as Rains and Melvin embraced. I guess she’s not totally opposed to human contact. “You bring her back sometime, Rainy,” he was saying.

  Gracie hugged Rains next. “I just might do that,” Rains was saying, “if I don’t court-martial her first.”

  The old couple laughed, but Bett looked away, knowing it was Rains’s way of saying she wasn’t forgiven for this trespass. “Give my regards to Evie and tell her she’s missed,” Rains added.

  This perked Bett’s curiosity even more. Who is this woman Rains is missing?

  “We will. Careful getting back to the base, you two,” Gracie said as she locked the door behind them.

  Bett looked at Rains with hopeful eyes.

  “We’re running, Private,” Rains announced and started off at a quick trot.

  Bett fell in beside her. “Do we need more dimes for Jimmy?”

  “No, Jimmy’s gone down by this time of night.”

  They got back to the base much too quickly for Bett. When Rains signed back in she noted Bett’s name under hers and gave her a look. Then she signed Bett back in as well. They trotted on toward the barracks. When they were about halfway there, Rains stopped. She turned to Bett, squinting, and rubbed her hand across her forehead, under her bangs, pushing her hat back farther on her head. “What am I going to do with you, Private Smythe? You consistently break rules and show no self-discipline whatsoever. KP had no effect…although that was actually my fault.”

  “Melvin and Gracie are such nice people. How did you meet them…Rainy?” Bett asked, unable to stop herself from smiling.

  “If something had happened to you out there, you could have brought a lot of trouble to that community,” Rains said seriously.

  Bett’s face became solemn. “I know you’re right about that, Sergeant. Would it help if I promised never to do such a foolish thing again?”

  Sergeant Rains sniffed as if she had grave doubts about such a promise. Bett smiled hopefully, watching as Rains’s expression became more intent. She has the most beautiful eyes, Bett reflected for what seemed like the hundredth time, many of them in her dreams. Thinking of how often she’d been paid the same compliment, she wondered if anyone had ever said it to Rains. I want to be the one to tell her, Bett decided. But not now. Not yet.

  “I would be remiss if I did not express my appreciation for your very good ideas tonight, Private,” Rains said finally, “but that does not excuse your misbehavior. And you should know that you had better not ever call me by that other name again unless you want to run laps until you throw up.”

  “Yes, Sergeant,” Bett said contritely. “But you can call me Smitty anytime. I rather like it.”

  Sergeant Rains ignored this. “Remember that you are not to leave the base until your basic training is completed. Another infraction like this and the result will be more severe than peeling potatoes, I promise you.”

  “But how will I know if my ideas for Mel’s are working if I can’t go and visit them again sometime?” Bett asked. She shivered again. The warming effects of the run were wearing off.

  “When it’s time, I will escort you,” the sergeant replied. Bett smiled, wrapping her arms around herself. Rains shook her head. “And in doing so give you exactly what you want,” she said, half to herself. She looked at Bett again, working to keep her expression stern.

  “Thank you for not really being mad at me,” Bett said sincerely.

  “How do you know I’m not?” Rains answered, almost automatically.

  Bett stepped closer, as she had learned to do with Rains who always kept a more than respectable distance between them. “I can read it in your eyes,” she answered, using a gypsy fortune-teller’s voice. “You have no secrets from me, Sergeant Rains.”

  Rains’s mouth twitched. “If that were true, we would both be court-martialed, Private Smythe.”

  After a beat, Bett began to laugh. Sergeant Rains could be so unexpectedly delightful sometimes. Her complete lack of pretense was refreshing. Bett moved against her almost before she knew what she was doing, putting her right side against the middle of Rains’s body, one arm aroun
d her waist, laying her head on Rains’s chest. Had it been since Emma that just being with someone made her feel so good? How I’d love to take this funny, sweet Rains and her warm body to bed with me. We’d have fabulous sex and then maybe I could just lie like this for a little while. She would hold me then, wouldn’t she? “Some things are worth the risk,” she suggested by way of reply. She felt Rains’s breath catch and heard her heart beating stoutly. I can always pretend I was talking about the day I arrived when she let me guess where people came from. Bett was about to step away, knowing she mustn’t push her luck about getting back into the sergeant’s good graces, when she felt Rains’s arms come around her shoulders. It was as if Rains had read her thoughts about being held. Or perhaps this was the sergeant’s version of taking a risk.

  A low whisper close to her ear, Rains’s voice was warm and not at all formal. “You really were wonderful tonight.”

  Bett was flooded with pleasure. Even making first-class marks in her hardest classes hadn’t given her this feeling. She turned until their bodies were facing each other, putting her other arm around Rains also. She could feel the sinewy strength in Rains’s body but her embrace was very tender. Was the sergeant breathing more quickly or was she imagining that? Bett couldn’t help the little sigh that escaped her throat. Oh yes. It felt so good to be held by someone again. Or was it that it felt so good to be held by Rains? She tried to cover her reaction by saying, “Thank you for letting me be a part of it. Thank you for not telling them I wasn’t invited.” She swallowed. “And thank you for accepting my apology.”

  Rains’s arms tightened just the slightest bit and Bett felt warmth pouring into her. Was that why it sometimes felt as though Rains’s touch could melt her? “It’s getting to be the time of year when evenings are cooler,” the sergeant murmured, her low voice huskier than usual. “You might want to remember your coat the next time you are out late.”

  “I’d rather have you,” Bett whispered, not sure if Rains would hear her or not.

  There was just the slightest pause and then Sergeant Rains let her go and stepped back. She took a breath and cleared her throat. “You are dismissed, Private.”

  Was Rains’s voice a little bit shaky? Bett wondered. She would have given half of her bank account to know what was in Rains’s mind for those few seconds that they were holding each other. But she knew she shouldn’t ask for any more—for tonight, anyway. She was already looking forward to her next opportunity to be alone with Rains. “Thank you, Sergeant. Good night.”

  Watching her walk away, Rains clenched her fists. You put your arms around her! Right here in the middle of the base. That woman is a private from your squad and there was no reason to touch her that way. Yet it had seemed inevitable somehow, as if there was some kind of chemical reaction between them that couldn’t be contained. In spite of Rains’s best intentions to keep her contact with Smythe to a minimum, something always seemed to happen to bring them together. And every time they were alone in each other’s company, the feeling between them seemed to intensify. Fully aware of potential complications, Rains would tell herself to back away, to reestablish some detachment, but always Smythe found a way to cross the distance between them.

  In the two years and three months that Rains had been a part of the WAAC and the WAC, she had never felt so drawn to someone. The fact was Elizabeth Smythe constantly surprised her. Or, Rains corrected, maybe it was her own reaction to Smythe that surprised her. At those ill-advised moments when they were alone together, a feeling would hit her with the same force as her rage, but instead of the quick flash of anger, it was an intensifying flame of desire. Could Rains truly not restrain herself, or had she, on some level, given herself permission to stop trying? I’d rather have you, echoed in her head. Was that true?

  Knowing that sleep would be impossible just now, she walked over to the parade grounds, took off her hat and jacket, and began running. Not just her standard Army pace, but running as fast as she could. By her fifth lap she was breathing hard when Moore and three other officers walked by on their way back from Sweetie’s.

  “You’ll never get away from whatever it is that way, Rains,” an intoxicated voice called out. “You’re running around in a circle, in case you didn’t notice.” The group laughed and moved on.

  That’s exactly right, Rain thought, slowing to a stop. As if there’s a circle that always leads me back to her. She had gotten her hat and jacket back on when an unbidden idea came into her thoughts. Is this something that is supposed to be? When she consciously allowed herself to revisit the feeling of Bett’s body pressed against hers, she could feel again the powerful pounding that started loudly in her heart before spreading all through her body. She shook her head but the movement didn’t completely clear Bett from her thoughts. After a moment’s consideration, she accepted that maybe nothing would ever completely clear Bett from her thoughts.

  Still, no matter how good it felt, it was completely unacceptable. Even if Bett was willing, which she gave every indication of being, Rains could not in good conscience take part in a relationship of that kind. Because whatever connection they might feel now, this time would end and their separate journeys would continue. Besides, Rains admitted to herself, there was little chance that this closeness could be real, given the divide of their realities. And the main reality was that she was Bett’s drill instructor, and she had no intention of violating the honor of that position. Ignoring the profound pang of sadness that accompanied her conclusions, she set her mind to what she most required of herself…some way to get control of these runaway emotions.

  Chapter Nine

  In the week that followed, Sergeant Rains gave absolutely no hint that anything unusual might have happened between them. The squad continued their training, but most girls had shifted their focus from simply making it through basic to planning for their future Army employment. Charlotte, whose worries about passing the physical fitness test had resulted in her losing at least ten pounds since their arrival, came late to dinner one night, excited that Rains had accompanied her to the rifle range that afternoon, since she was considering going into munitions testing. She mentioned that Lieutenant Boudreaux had not been available, but that she and Rains had an informative meeting with the second in command, a Sergeant Nash. Bett wondered if Boudreaux had deliberately avoided Rains or if it had been the other way around.

  After exercise the next morning, Bett noted that her sergeant took Phyllis aside and they walked slowly toward one of the classroom buildings together, Phyllis talking and gesturing while Rains nodded. Bett knew that Phyllis was feeling anxious about her choice of duties; they had all talked with her about it. Phyllis was very interested in becoming a radio operator, but her scores in that class had not been particularly good. “I knew it!” Phyllis had agonized afterward. “I knew every single answer. I just panic when I take those stupid tests!” Bett watched Phyllis waiting nervously as Rains went into the building and came out a few minutes later with Major Seymour, who was the head of the department. After a moment of introduction, Rains walked briskly away, leaving Phyllis and the major in conversation.

  And Jo had insisted on showing Bett page after page of the NCO’s manual that Rains just happened to have at lunch one afternoon when she stopped by their table. The sergeant had been right, Bett realized, about success being better when it was shared. She felt absolutely no jealousy toward her squad mates, and no anger toward Rains for not including her in such a consultation. Her course was set, and the fact was she wanted something much more personal than job counseling from this woman.

  Unexpectedly, the only shadow over their group came from Helen and Tee. Apparently, the two girls had experienced some kind of falling out, because they suddenly stopped speaking to each other or sitting together in classes or the mess hall. One Sunday after church, Sergeant Rains quietly informed the squad that Helen had left. “Private Tucker has qualified to attend the Motor Transport School, and she has volunteered to fill in a position at
Fort Oglethorpe in Georgia.” Turning away from Tee’s teary eyes, Rains addressed the rest of the squad. “She’ll return in time for graduation.” No one moved. “Enjoy the rest of your day,” she added and left the room.

  Thinking she must feel deserted by her best friend, Bett hoped that Tee would find some comfort, as she did, in believing Sergeant Rains would always do exactly what she needed to do for her recruits. But Bett wasn’t sure how she felt about the certainty that nothing about Rains’s methods or her manner would change, even if she had any idea that Private Elizabeth Smythe couldn’t stop thinking about her, day or night.

  And the nights were definitely most troublesome, because after her brief moment in Rains’s arms, Bett’s sleep became increasingly restless with the sergeant almost always in her dreams. In addition to frequent erotic interludes, she often dreamed of running after Rains and usually awoke to find she had kicked at the blanket or even pulled the sheet off herself at some point. On one chilly night she awoke to the feeling of the covers being pulled back over her. A hand smoothed some hair out of her face. “Rains?” Bett whispered without opening her eyes.

  “Shh,” a soft voice answered.

  “I dream of you all the time,” Bett said softly, her voice still thick with sleep.

  “You are dreaming now,” came the reply.

  When Bett opened her eyes, there was no one there. But she was tucked in under the covers.

  *

  It was a beautiful September Friday, crisp and cool. They were doing a group quick march in formation with the whole platoon. Bett just happened to be in the middle of the pack on the outside edge where Rains was calling out their commands. Sometimes the sergeant would move ahead or behind her position to check on their alignment, but frequently she was walking right beside Bett. As they moved past the officers’ quarters, Bett had a sense of being watched. Rains was in the back of the platoon at that moment so Bett sneaked a peek and saw a group sitting out on the officers’ quarters porch. Among them was Sergeant Moore, who was glaring at her.