Basic Training of the Heart

by Jaycie Morrison

  She could hear the chuckle in Rains’s voice. “Keep those arms down, Private.”

  Bett wiggled away, turned over, and saw genuine laughter in Rains’s eyes. For just a moment, the sergeant was looking at her with an expression that was relaxed and happy, though she still wasn’t exactly smiling. Without thinking, Bett tucked a stray piece of hair back into Rains’s hat and let her hand trace Rains’s cheek as she said, “I really do like you, Rains. I hope you don’t mind.” She watched the expression in Rains’s eyes change, deepen, as they seemed to connect with something inside. Say it, Rains, Bett begged silently. Tell me what you’re feeling right now.

  Rains’s mouth opened just a bit before it dawned on her that she was lying on the parade ground just inches away from a private from her squad. Like every other time that she’d been with Smythe, the whole sequence of events had begun innocently enough, but somehow their conversation, their actions, even their physical contact had shifted into something much more personal. What if Colonel Issacson saw them? Rains judged that if conduct had to be explained, it must look bad. She was on her feet in a second, her face back to its usual firmness. “I apologize, Private Smythe. That was completely improper of me.” She held out her hand.

  Bett sighed as she let Rains help her to her feet. “As far as I’m concerned, you didn’t do anything wrong, Sergeant. I thought we were just having fun.”

  “That may be, Private, but someone walking by might think differently.” Rains tried to explain, but Bett was already moving away.

  From over her shoulder, Bett snapped, “Well, who gives a damn what someone walking by might think?” as she started back toward the bleachers.

  Rains caught up quickly, still uneasy. “Don’t you know what happens to women in the service who are accused of such immoral conduct?” she hissed. “The Army may be lenient but they are not blind. There have been cases where certain women have been discharged—sent home with a blue ticket—immediately. Now you may not care about that, but I do. I told you that I may want to stay in the Army even after the war. I may want to go overseas before this is over. I’m due for a promotion. And I don’t have a rich father to take care of me if I botch this up.”

  As soon as those last words were out, Rains knew she had said too much. Bett’s expression hardened and her voice was like ice. “Don’t worry, Sergeant. I’ll make sure no one mistakes us for anything remotely resembling friends ever again.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant—” Rains began but Bett had already reached the bleachers and was picking up her jacket. “I apologize.” Bett was walking away very quickly. Rains felt a lurch inside; Private Smythe had good reason to be angry with her now, but she didn’t want that. She followed, trying to think of what to say. “Wait. Please. I really am sorry. That was truly the improper thing. Not earlier. Please…Bett.”

  Bett stopped. She did not turn around, however. Rains came up close behind her, putting a hand on Bett’s arm. Her voice was warm and sincere. “I was completely out of line on that remark. I know you are making your own way here, as I am.” Smythe turned, her expression blank. Rains tried to continue, but she was flustered by Bett’s coolness. “I—I—”

  Bett cocked her head with her eyebrows up. “You what, Sergeant?” Waiting, she reached her right hand across her body to rub her left shoulder.

  Rain seized on this. “I think you need me to take a look at that shoulder. The way you run, it must be sore.”

  “Don’t press your luck with undue criticism, Sergeant. You’d better intend to give me a really good massage or I’m out of here,” Bett warned, but there was less distance in her tone. She let Rains lead her back to the bleachers, where Rains put her jacket on the ground for Bett to sit on. Rains sat one row up and ran her fingers along the top of Bett’s shoulder, feeling her trapezius muscle. She increased the pressure coming back toward Bett’s neck, and Bett groaned involuntarily.

  Rains stopped. “Too hard?”

  “Oh no,” Bett assured her. “Perfect.” She undid three buttons and slipped her blouse past her shoulders, pulling her bra straps down with it.

  Rains tried not to notice Bett’s smooth skin or feel the heat coming off her body as she worked her fingers back out, stopping at a particular spot. “See? This is where it hurts from you bringing your arms up too high.” She pressed in a little harder and worked in a slow circle.

  “Ooh. I will pay you to do that every night,” Bett said, and Rains felt her relaxing into her touch.

  “No payment,” Rains said, softly, smoothing out the muscle again. “It’s just your turn to accept my apology.”

  “Uh-huh…but only if you do the other side, too.” The anger was gone from Bett’s voice, replaced by a tone as langorous as her body was becoming.

  “Of course,” Rains said, keeping her left hand where she had just worked and moving to the right side of Bett’s neck with her right hand. As Rains worked her fingers across, she glimpsed Bett’s firm breasts, barely covered by her shirt. Rains tried to block the idea of touching her there as well, as Bett sighed and leaned back against her, completely giving in to her touch. “That’s right,” Rains murmured, more than her hands responding to Bett’s submission. She tilted Bett’s head forward just a bit and began to massage the back of her neck.

  “Oh God,” Bett moaned. “That feels so wonderful.”

  “Good,” Rains said softly, “because I truly didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Bett.” Her hands moved along the sides of Bett’s neck, stroking in smooth circles. “I like you, too, but I cannot tell you that. I cannot have favorites. I have to be impartial. It wouldn’t be fair to the other girls if they knew.”

  “I told you, I’m very discreet,” Bett mumbled, a flush of arousal spreading across her chest.

  Rains worked her thumbs along the ridge of Bett’s exposed shoulder blades with just the right amount of pressure. Bett’s body was trim and firm but with very womanly curves. Listening to her little sounds of pleasure, Rains felt a pull deep inside. I want to keep doing this. I want to touch her all over. I want to… “Stand up,” she said gruffly, with her hands back on Bett’s shoulders.

  “No.” Bett didn’t want to move, unless it was to pull Rains on top of her.

  “Come on. I need to move your arms while I check your shoulders again.” Bett could hear that Rains was trying to sound official. Stepping down to the ground to help Bett rise, the sergeant slid her arms under Bett’s shoulders. “No tickling, I promise.” As they moved together, Bett was almost too relaxed to stand alone, so she leaned her full weight back against her sergeant’s body. Her hips fit just at Rains’s crotch and they moved gently there as she tried to keep her balance. Bett felt Rains’s breathing quicken as she rested her head on the left side of Rains’s chest. She knew Rains was looking at the visible swell of her breast and at her hard nipples pushing just at edge of her lowered blouse. She moved her hips again until she heard a sound of desire come from Rains’s throat. She began to arch, stretching to make Rains’s hands move over to her breasts. Oh yes, Rains, please…

  When Rains’s hands moved, though, they were on the backs of Bett’s shoulders, and Rains had managed to move a step back. “Don’t turn, Private,” she said roughly.

  “Why not?” Bett asked, still breathing deeply, trying to think of what else she could do to make Rains touch her again.

  “I cannot look at you now. This cannot happen.” The sergeant held Bett off with one hand and picked up her jacket with the other. “This cannot happen now,” she repeated and ran off into the deepening night.

  Bloody hell. Bett fixed her bra and buttoned her blouse. She had to sit for a few moments before she was composed enough to walk back to the barracks. Once there, she showered and tried to read until lights out. It was hard to believe that even though the time with Rains had caused her to miss dinner, she wasn’t a bit hungry. Not for food, anyway. She was having trouble concentrating on anything else, though; her mind was more interested in revisiting the afternoon.
She chatted a bit with Jo and Phyllis, asking about their Saturday afternoon off, complaining halfheartedly about her punishment. Rains did not come through every night anymore, and Bett was not surprised that Sergeant Webber appeared for CQ.

  After lights out, Bett turned restlessly on her cot, waiting until she heard regular breathing all around her. She knew she would have to release the tension she had been feeling since her encounter with Rains or tomorrow would be impossible. She lay on her back, slipping her right hand inside her pajama bottoms, and began to masturbate. With her left hand she cupped her breast, playing with the nipple the way she had hoped that Rains would do, while gradually working the fingers of her right hand faster between her legs. All she could think about was Rains…her warm hands, her strong fingers, that one minute when they were on the ground and she had looked so relaxed, and that sound she’d made when she had felt Bett’s hips against her. Yes, that was very good. Bett could play that moan in her head, knowing that no matter what Rains said or did, it was happening for her, too. Rains’s arms tightening around her that night after Mel’s—yes, that was nice. Her low voice murmuring, You really were wonderful tonight and I like you, too…

  Now she was almost as wet as she had been earlier that afternoon when Rains had run away from her. As she imagined how Rains would kiss, Bett tried to make sure that her breathing did not get too loud, but it was difficult. She enjoyed being vocal during sex, but she knew one of her squad members could wake at any time. Her pace quickened as the tingling sensations began to spread outward through her body. Then another thought came into her head. What if Rains was doing the same thing in her bed in the officers’ quarters? A vision of Rains’s strong body, naked and straining against her own hand, pushed Bett over the edge. She came hard, shuddering quietly but thinking, Oh yes, Rains, yes. Now you come for me. She pulled her pillow down beside her and lay on it as she fell asleep, wishing for Rains’s body.

  Bett’s brief pleasure turned to worry when Sergeant Webber arrived again to march them to breakfast. Rains was not in her usual place at the officers’ table. Even though it was Saturday, they had already been scheduled for another morning of marching. Several of the girls expressed the opinion that if a VIP was coming, it had better be Clark Gable to make the extra practice worthwhile. When Webber dismissed them for lunch after conducting their drills, Bett went quickly to the mess hall. As she reached for the door, she looked back and thought she saw Rains’s tall form in the distance, talking to someone. But the sergeant did not appear for lunch, either. Bett ate lightly and hurried back to the barracks to get changed, hoping that Rains would not stand her up for their second round of coaching. She had started over toward the parade grounds again when she heard someone call her name. Looking around, she saw Jo Archer coming toward her.

  “Sarge told me she would be coaching us this afternoon for the race tomorrow. I see you’re ready to go.”

  Coaching us? Bett asked herself. That must have been Archer that Rains was talking to. That’s how she is going to deal with what happened yesterday, by having someone else there. But she did like Jo, and it wasn’t the New Yorker’s fault that she’d spent the night dreaming about being in Rains’s arms. “Great,” she said, hoping she sounded genuine. “The more the merrier.”

  Rains was sitting on the very top row of the bleachers, watching as they arrived. She told Bett to take a lap while she showed Archer some of the quick start moves that she had showed Bett yesterday. Bett noted with some satisfaction that Rains didn’t seem to be touching Archer quite as much as she had touched her. When Bett finished her lap, Rains had them run three races against each other. Archer won every time. Somewhat reluctantly, it seemed to Bett, the sergeant told Archer to take a lap. Rains looked at the ground until Archer was out of earshot. “You are not running with any heart today,” she said finally, not really meeting Bett’s eyes.

  “Were you afraid to be alone with me?” Bett asked, disregarding Rains’s criticism.

  “No, I am not afraid, but I thought it was best this way,” Rains said, still looking away. “I told you how it is for me, with my position in the Army. You are under my command. This”—she gestured back and forth between them with her hand—“is not right, Private. Ours cannot be a…relationship…like that. I am your drill instructor.”

  She’s thinking of Boudreaux, Bett understood, studying Rains’s profile. She looked tired. “Didn’t you sleep last night?” she asked softly, both of them watching as Archer ran around the far turn.

  Rains finally looked briefly at Bett. “Not much,” she admitted, turning as Archer continued coming toward them.

  “Can we still be friends, at least?” Bett asked, hoping to keep Rains’s gaze on her.

  “I don’t know,” Rains answered, a little sadly, Bett thought. Then she asked, “Can you beat Archer?”

  “Are the two related?”

  “I’m trying to change the subject,” Rains stated, looking at her hands.

  Bett had to laugh a little. “You’re not supposed to announce that, Sergeant. You’re supposed to be more subtle.”

  “I was never very good at duplicity,” Rains said, shrugging. “If I want you to know what I am thinking, I will tell you.”

  Bett looked back at Rains as Archer ran up, panting a bit. “I’ll try.”

  “You’ll try what?” Archer asked.

  “To beat you this time,” Bett answered.

  Jo grinned. “Easy to say, hard to do, Queenie.”

  “Remember what I told you, Private Smythe,” Rains said in her voice of authority while, much to Bett’s surprise, she put her hands on Bett’s shoulders—from a respectable distance, of course. “Keep your arms down. Relax your shoulders.”

  Bett won the next two races. The third was too close for Rains to call. “Take another lap, Smythe.” Rains worked with Archer on the finish lean that she had showed Bett. Bett noted that Rains never caught Archer, though probably it was because Jo never leaned too far forward. Perhaps that is the secret to winning in tomorrow’s race, Bett thought. Use a bigger lean at the finish. She wanted to ask the sergeant, but when she got back, Rains dismissed them, saying, “It’s almost time for dinner. Take an easy run back to your barracks and take a warm shower immediately. Not too hot.” She nodded encouragingly. “Good work. I like both your chances tomorrow.”

  Archer ran off, saying, “I’ll beat you to the shower, too, Queenie.”

  Rains was sitting back on the bleachers. Bett sat beside her, a little distance away. “I couldn’t help noticing that you weren’t at breakfast or lunch today. Will you be at dinner?”

  “No,” Rains said shortly. “I am fasting today.”

  “You are? Why?” Bett asked automatically.

  Rains eyes shifted into the distance. “For personal reasons, Private. And please don’t interrogate me about this.”

  “Just tell me…is it because of me?”

  “No,” Rains shook her head. Her eyes swept briefly over Bett. “Although it would be nice if that would help.”

  “Well, why then?” Bett pressed.

  Rains’s voice was unusually heated. “It is not your place to ask me these things. You are a private and I am a sergeant. I have dismissed you. Please return to your barracks.”

  Bett stood, her tone defiant. “I wasn’t asking you as a private. I was asking you as a friend.”

  Rains leaned back against the next row of the bleachers and looked at the sky. She sighed deeply and her hand rubbed slowly on her thigh, a gesture Bett couldn’t recall ever seeing her make before. Her quiet answer sounded forced. “My friend would hear me when I asked her not to interrogate me. My friend would see that I just want to sit here alone for a time while the sun goes down. My friend would not force me to say that this is the day that my mother died and I am fasting to honor her memory.”

  Bett brought her hand to her mouth. “Oh, Rains, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I’ll go.”

  Rains said nothing. Bett walked away, with her head dow
n. She felt terrible but there was no way to repair what she had done. She’s right, damn it. I wasn’t being a friend. I was being nosy, and thinking everything was all about me. She’s made it clear how she feels. Instead of still trying to seduce her, I should try to actually care about her. As she turned toward the barracks she could still see Rains, just a speck, back on the top row. If I could win tomorrow’s race for her, maybe she’d forgive me.

  Chapter Ten

  “Come on, Queenie,” Jo exhorted when they returned to the barracks after breakfast. “We’ve got to stretch and you know Sarge will want us to be the first squad at the race. Think you can beat the Bronx Bullet when it counts?” she asked, pointing proudly at herself.

  “I doubt it,” Bett said, laughing. “I was never much good at sports, though I did take dance all through my childhood, and enjoyed that.”

  “Ooh.” At the exclamation, they all looked at Teresa, surprised, since she rarely initiated conversation and had spoken even less since Helen had been gone. “M-momma and I went to Oklahoma City once when I was l-little. I don’t remember why, only that we passed by a ballet school and she let me look in for a minute. I guess there was gonna be a show, because they were playing music like I had never heard, and the girls were wearing tiny little dresses that practically floated when they moved. And when they started dancing…” She stopped, a dreamy expression on her face. “It was so pretty.”

  “Ballet!” Jo snorted. “How can you call this dancing?” She hopped around in imitation of pliés and jetés. As the other girls laughed, she landed off balance and crumpled to the ground in obvious pain. Grabbing at her leg, she cried, “Oh damn, my knee.”

  The others rushed over to her, just as Rains entered, looking crisp and official as usual in her khaki pants, jacket, and hat. “This squad is due on the parade ground now—” she began, but seeing the group gathered around Jo, her orders cut off abruptly. She made her way to Jo and knelt beside her. “Let me see,” she said to Jo, and took the injured knee between her hands. As Jo wiped her eyes, Rains felt the area gently. After a moment, she turned and ordered, “Jackson, Ferguson, Rangel, Kendrick, get Private Archer to the infirmary.”