Basic Training of the Heart

by Jaycie Morrison

  A male voice called out, “Who goes there? Stop and be recognized.”

  Quickly dropping Bett’s hand, Rains stepped forward into the headlights. “Sergeant Rains escorting Private Smythe back to barracks.” A flashlight shone from the darkness, sweeping over Rains and settling on Smythe, whose robe was somewhat askew, revealing clinging silk pajamas.

  “What’s going on here, Sergeant?” asked the voice, with a suggestion of a leer.

  Rains stepped sideways, taking up the light and shielding Bett. “Private Smythe has had some bad news from home, Corporal. She needed some time away from the squad. You understand.” She stepped closer to the Jeep. “Is that you, Lutz?” she asked in a slightly more familiar tone.

  The light switched off. “Yeah, Rains. It’s me. Okay, finish your business. But you’d better hurry, ’cause Crowley’s on the next patrol.” Bett could hear his voice drop to a serious mutter. “Can’t believe that bastard’s still here.”

  Rains pointed toward the barracks. “We’re right there, Lutz. Thanks”

  “So are we even?” Lutz asked, hopefully.

  Rains gave a scornful snort. “Not even close, brother.”

  The Jeep’s engine started. “Carry on, Sergeant,” came the fading voice as the vehicle rolled away.

  Rains turned to her, and Bett thought she was angry until she felt her robe being closed gently around her and the belt tightened. “Let’s go,” Rains ordered and directed Bett a little more quickly toward the building, her hand on the back of Bett’s shoulder. They walked to the silent barracks, their voices low.

  “Have I gotten you in trouble?” Bett asked miserably, turning back to Rains at the steps that led to the door.

  “No, but we were lucky. Some of the other MPs aren’t as decent as Lutz.” In the dim light, Bett could see a worried look come over Rains’s face. “And we do look a little…”

  “Disheveled?” Bett supplied.

  Rains grunted. After another quick glance at Bett, her chin lifted. “You know those pajamas are not regulation issue.”

  “Regulation issue pajamas are scratchy and stiff.”

  “That’s not the point, Private,” Rains retorted, but Bett saw the encouragement in her eyes.

  “That’s exactly the point, Sergeant.” Bett raised her face to look at Rains, feeling the beginning of a smile inside. Then she took a shuddering breath.

  Rains extended her arm and slowly brushed Bett’s cheek with a delicate touch. “Sleep,” she ordered.

  She had started to turn away, but Bett caught her sleeve. Quickly slipping her arms around Rains’s neck, she stretched and kissed her lightly on the cheek. “Thank you again for being so…understanding,” she whispered into Rains’s ear.

  Rains stood very still. As Bett quietly opened the door to the barracks, she thought she heard the word gallant like an echo, but when she turned, Rains was gone. Her last thought before she drifted into sleep was for the telegram, but all she could feel in her hand was a soft white handkerchief.

  *

  The next day was back to the routine, although it seemed to Bett that their sergeant worked them a little easier than usual. Twice she found Rains’s eyes on her; the second time Bett gave just the slightest nod. I’m all right, she tried to say. She thought she got a quick nod in return, although she couldn’t be sure. Rains didn’t really look at her again, though.

  On Tuesday, Helen returned from her specialized school at Fort Oglethorpe in Georgia. By the next morning, whatever problem had soured her friendship with Tee seemed to be resolved and harmony was restored. Everyone seemed to be taking a deep breath for the home stretch of their basic training.

  Bett had taken to carrying Rains’s handkerchief in the pocket of whatever she was wearing. After several days had passed and the sergeant made no mention of it, Bett decided it was a gift. Almost a week later, she was holding it folded in her hand when she felt the soft pressure on her bed of someone leaning across her while bringing up the covers. Then there was just the lightest touch on her cheek, so faint she almost might have dreamed it, except for the way her body reacted. She turned toward the source, keeping her eyes closed.

  “Oh, Rains,” she whispered in a voice soft with sleep, “it could be so good.”

  “Shh.”

  Bett snuggled into the pillow, hugging it as she sighed softly, and Rains felt the sigh rush through her like a warm wind. The press of emotion moved into her thoughts until she imagined herself there beside Bett; she was the one Bett curled against, the one Bett held close. She almost stumbled as she turned to leave, forcing herself away from the place she most wanted to be. Despite all her resolutions and all her best intentions, Rains had to admit that she was unable to keep herself from crossing the line she had always kept between her true self and her recruits, and knowing the impropriety of it didn’t seem to help either. Something about Elizabeth Smythe erased all such lines and kept the steady calm that Rains had carefully created inside herself in a constant state of upheaval.

  Rains had given herself a firm talking-to after their first embrace, but then had given herself permission to pull up the covers on Smythe after deciding that she would have done the same for any of her recruits. Now it had turned into spending an extra moment just watching Bett sleep when Rains was there on the pretense of looking in on the rest of the squad. She’d come in late on her restless nights, having convinced herself that no one else—especially Bett—would know, certain that allowing herself that one unguarded moment would help her maintain better control during the day. But now she had touched Bett, twice. The first time, admittedly, Bett’s hair had fallen forward onto her face, but this time…a caress on the cheek for no reason except to feel her skin.

  Running didn’t help, chanting didn’t help; she had lost the cool dispassionate place where she could stay clear of such feelings. Every time she dug in and tried to resist, Bett slipped past her defenses with the skill of a warrior, found her, and pulled her closer. Now her blood raged inside her each time her memory took her to the moments she had been with Bett, especially those times they had touched. She couldn’t avoid her own mind that replayed over and over the warm feeling of Bett turning into her arms the night they had been at Mel’s, the sensuousness of Bett’s hips leaning into her by the bleachers, and the sweetness of holding her as she cried about her school.

  But it was when she had seen the indomitable spirit in Bett’s eyes during the race that Rains understood why she hadn’t been able to shake the physical attraction. Because in those seconds before Bett flung herself across the finish line, Rains saw all she truly had to offer—and the steadfast resolve and bold courage that propelled Bett past her competition in a race she had no business winning touched Rains’s core. Elizabeth Smythe was a special woman, and at that moment, Rains simply couldn’t let her fall. She’d spun them to dissipate the impact of their bodies, but when Bett’s arms had come around her neck and she’d whispered in Rains’s ear, that touch and those words had fused the bond between them. Now there was almost no controlling the body that seemed virtually unknown to her, the one that burned and throbbed and ached for something she couldn’t ask for, that she would never have. Sergeant Rains steeled herself all the way back to her room. No more late-night visits. You can do this. Leave her alone. She’ll be gone soon enough anyway. She actually welcomed the pain that accompanied that last thought. Pain was her most familiar companion in matters of the heart.

  Chapter Eleven

  Bett thought about her conversations with Sergeant Rains while passing the time in classes she didn’t care much about and found herself fascinated with the question of how a Sioux Indian came to be a sergeant in the Women’s Army Corps. One afternoon when they had some free time, Bett used the arrival of a new batch of recruits as cover to slip off base unnoticed and found the town library. Its rather limited collection made her long for Oxford’s incredible resources, but she found a few things worth reading to improve her woeful knowledge of American Indian history a
nd culture.

  It was only when she reached to turn on a reading light that Bett thought about the time. “Bloody hell,” she muttered when she looked at her watch. “I’ve missed dinner and the gates will close in ten minutes.” They had been told over and over about the procedure for signing out with an officer, and the penalty for an unauthorized leave from base was severe. Rains had even warned her personally after Mel’s. Other than attending classes and drills, she would be confined to the barracks for the remainder of her basic training and would have KP every night.

  To make matters worse, as she struggled to the base after a twenty-minute jog across town she suffered the indignity of being made to wait outside the gate until her drill instructor came to claim her. She put her face in her hands at the news. Sergeant Rains was not going to be happy with her…again.

  “Oh, cheer up, honey,” said the MP at the gate. “Who’s your sergeant anyway?” Upon hearing Bett’s brief answer, he rolled his eyes. “Oh, you’re all right then. She’s easy. Not like Moore or even Webber. You’ll probably just have to do the KP, not even lose your liberty.” He rang the officers’ quarters from the tiny guardhouse.

  Bett looked at his nametag: Crowley. She vaguely remembered hearing his name in some connection with a warning…the other MP, the night Rains had brought her back to the barracks after she’d gotten the news about Kent.

  After a brief conversation, Crowley hung up the phone. He looked Bett up and down. “Yeah,” he continued his train of thought, “some of us think Rains is a little too sweet on her girls. You know what I mean?”

  Bett knew she had to be careful in her response, for Rains’s sake. She also sensed that Crowley was the type of man who she might be able to manipulate by her looks. Putting on her most winning smile, she leaned toward him, thinking she had really not spoken enough for him to wonder where the Alabama drawl had come from. “Well, she’s been pretty strict on us, but I’m sure she’s not as tough as you, Corporal.”

  “Ha!” Crowley laughed, but it sounded almost threatening. Bett tried not to recoil as he stepped nearer to her and put his rough hand under her chin. “She just needs what the rest of you broads need. A good fu—”

  “Private Smythe!” Rains’s usually smooth voice rang out sharply. Crowley’s hand dropped and he turned toward the sound. “This is your second major infraction this week.”

  Although her expression was serious as always, as Rains approached the gate, Bett could tell from the sergeant’s body language that something else was wrong. She straightened to attention and watched as Rains seemed to circle Crowley cautiously, rather than walking directly up to him.

  “You sure got here in a big damn hurry, Sergeant,” Crowley growled.

  Rains assessed Bett quickly. She seemed satisfied and answered, “Just in the neighborhood, Corporal.”

  “Unusual for one of yours to come in so late, Rains. I thought you taught ’em better than that.” He brazenly looked Bett over again, sneering. “Guess this one just couldn’t resist meeting her honey for a little romp.”

  “No, this one’s our scholar, Crowley,” Rains answered evenly. “I’m sure she just stayed too long at the library.”

  It took a large measure of Bett’s willpower not to let her mouth drop open. Did I tell anyone where I was going? She tried to remember.

  “Library,” barked Crowley. “That’s rich.” He opened the gate and Bett stepped through and stood beside Rains. “See ya around, Chief. Don’t take any wooden nickels.”

  Bett heard Rains exhale slowly.

  “Corporal,” Rains said tightly, watching as Crowley returned to his post inside the guardhouse.

  Then Rains wheeled around, walking away so fast that Bett almost had to trot to keep up with her. She knew if she waited for Rains to speak first, they would be back at the barracks, and she wanted a chance to explain to her privately.

  “Sergeant, I truly am sorry—”

  Rains rounded on her. “Being sorry isn’t enough, Private. You are the squad leader. You are supposed to be setting an example for your group.”

  Bett recognized this Sergeant Rains. She was pure Army, and as strict as she’d been during the first week of basic training. Bett dropped her head a bit in response to the truth of this. “You’re right, of course, and I shall apologize to them as well,” she said. “And as for Corporal Crowley, I just thought if I charmed him a bit—”

  “Crowley is not a man to be charmed. He is not a man to be reasoned with. He is a man to be avoided. Do you understand?” Rains spoke heatedly. When Bett didn’t respond immediately, Rains abruptly took hold of her arms, her voice almost fierce. “Do you understand me, Private?” she repeated urgently.

  Bett wondered what the history was between those two.

  “Yes, Sergeant. I understand,” Bett replied clearly, and Rains let her go and begin walking quickly again. “Wait,” Bett called, but Rains kept going. Bett had to run several quick steps to catch up. “Sergeant Rains, please wait.”

  Rains stopped and sighed. She turned. “What is it, Private Smythe?”

  “Did you know I really was at the library?”

  “It is my business to know the whereabouts of my squad members. Especially those with a habit of disobeying regulations.”

  Bett could tell by her tone that Rains was still mad. She tried to lighten the mood. “Well, then, I wish you had come and gotten me before I was so late. Then we both would have been spared that encounter with Corporal Crowley.”

  “You may be accustomed to having servants whose role it is to tell you when you have to be somewhere, Miss…Carlton,” Rains said through her teeth, and Bett startled at the use of her real name, “but that is not my job.”

  “That’s not at all what I meant—” She tried to interrupt, but Rains didn’t stop her lecture.

  “You don’t have much time left to learn how to stay out of trouble in this Army, and you won’t find that lesson in a book. You must develop it within yourself. You must start acting with some self-control and discipline. You cannot just disregard the rules you don’t like or disobey orders and think you can outsmart us with your costly education.” With barely a glance at the evening sky, she added, “Especially if an honors graduate from Oxford can’t even tell time.” Rains stopped and breathed deeply, trying to rein herself in.

  The criticism hurt, and a dozen possible retorts flashed through Bett’s mind. After the briefest moment, she asked only what she really wanted to know. “Why are you so angry with me?”

  Still flushed with emotion, Rains stepped uncharacteristically close and looked into Bett’s eyes. “Because you are too smart to act so foolishly. Because you are too beautiful to be so reckless. Because my life here was simple and caring about you has made it complicated—” Rains stopped short again, as if she realized that she had said too much.

  She cares about me. Bett knew better than to smile. Instead, she put her hands gently on Rains’s arms. “Crowley is simply arrogant, while you are a skilled leader and a visionary.”

  Rains mouth opened but no sound came out. She cocked her head and swayed slightly toward Bett, as if she might catch the words again, reverberating in the night. Bett heard her breathe again. She wished that it was not so dark, so that she could see Rains’s face.

  The sergeant straightened away from Bett’s touch. Breathing in, she cleared her throat. “Other than your classes, you are confined to the barracks. I will speak to you further on Friday at our squad leader meeting in the administration building, Private,” she said shortly and disappeared into the darkness.

  *

  Rains slowed from her run as she approached the colonel’s office, trying to get herself under control. The colonel was well-known for her late hours, and this was not the first time Rains had found her working well into the evening. Delores, the weary receptionist, barely had time to nod to her curt, “She in?” before Rains gave a knock and was in the colonel’s door.

  “Sergeant Rains,” Colonel Janet Issacson said,
rising. “Whatever is the matter? Please, sit.” She gestured but Rains remained standing stiffly, saluting.

  “Ma’am, I need a transfer from this squad,” she said, without preamble.

  “Is that a formal request, Sergeant, or are you just expressing a wish, like, I need a million dollars?”

  When Rains didn’t answer immediately, the colonel sighed. “Hell’s bells, Rains, you know I transferred you there when we got word that Carlton girl was coming.” Apparently detecting the slight reaction Rains made at the mention of Bett’s name, Colonel Issacson asked, “Is that it, Sergeant? Is the Carlton girl being difficult again?”

  Rains inclined her head. The colonel sat heavily. “I knew it. I knew her kind just wouldn’t fit in here. And it’s not the education. We have lots of women with college degrees. It’s the money. Her class. Whatever. Oh, I checked on her, little Miss Moneybags, yes, I did.” The colonel was on a roll now. “I don’t care if she’s a Carlton or a Rockefeller or whatever. She wasn’t barging into my outfit without me knowing something about her. I couldn’t get through to anyone at Oxford, but I called that high-class British boarding school of hers weeks ago. Outstanding student, they told me. Awarded this and that. But when I asked about discipline…” Issacson paused. “There was something there. Something they weren’t telling me.” She looked back at Rains. “That’s it, isn’t it? She’s still undisciplined, isn’t she? Not up to Army standards?”

  Rains knew she shouldn’t have come. Turning to Janet Issacson had been simply an emotional reaction and now she was trapped by what she couldn’t say. “Yes, ma’am. That’s it.”

  “Well dammit, Sergeant Rains, you were pretty undisciplined yourself when you came in. Can’t you handle it? I mean, I’ve seen you smooth out some of our roughest characters and then work for hours with a girl who can barely read her name. What did Carlton do this time?”

  “She came in late from an unauthorized off-base, ma’am.” As the colonel began to raise her eyebrows, Rains added, “Crowley was on duty and I…”