Basic Training of the Heart

by Jaycie Morrison

  For a few seconds, Bett couldn’t speak. How was it that Rain could say things that touched her in ways that no one ever had before? The idea that her impenetrable Sergeant Rains had dreamed of her, had wanted her this way…naked, helpless…made Bett catch her breath and a throbbing started in her core. “I think I’m becoming more real every moment I spend with you, Wind and Rain.” Bett knew better than to use Rain’s real name lightly. She meant it. Shifting slightly, she continued, “And as for true…” Before she could finish the thought, her stomach growled loudly. Rain blinked in surprise. “I guess that is the truth, warts and all.” Bett laughed, self-conscious and embarrassed, but trying to play it off lightly.

  Now Rain stroked her there, on her belly, but it was a different touch, more purposeful. “Oh no, Bett. No. There is nothing negative here. Your body is…” Rain searched but no exact word existed in her mind. She settled for one she had heard Bett say before, indicating she was well pleased with something. “Lovely.” Her lips curved up shyly. “And truthful.”

  The smile that Bett had been waiting to see softened Rain’s face, relaxing her features into an elegant loveliness that made Bett want to keep her close. She embraced her warmly, thinking to take Rain’s hand and put it between her legs to show her another truth, but she thought the sergeant might be shocked. And clearly she would need some sustenance before long. So she took Rain’s hand from her stomach and kissed it. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to cook for me?”

  “It would be my pleasure.” As they started to move, Rain stopped and took Bett’s face in her hands, her voice deep and earnest. “I want to thank you. Thank you for giving me back my fire.” She kissed Bett’s forehead tenderly.

  There it was again. That special way Rain had of expressing herself that was unlike any of Bett’s previous acquaintances. That must be one of the reasons why I find her so interesting. “My pleasure,” she echoed and they smiled at each other.

  Rain stood, arching her back and shoulders in a way that made Bett think of a cat, and began searching around for her clothes. Bett found it amusing that Rain was so blasé about walking around naked, especially compared to the tightly buttoned, uniformed Sergeant Rains. She certainly didn’t mind the view, observing how certain movements made Rain’s muscles roll beneath her skin, marveling at how such an angular body could be so smooth to the touch. But she’s too thin, Bett worried, deciding she would make sure Rain ate well while they were together. For enough money, extra ration coupons could always be had.

  *

  Bett stayed cocooned on the couch for a few moments while Rain began cooking, but she soon missed the warm haven of Rain’s body. The house seemed even colder. She dressed quickly and held out one of the blankets to Rain, saying, “Keep this around you, darling. I’m worried about you catching a cold.” Bett took one as well and sat at the little breakfast table watching Rain.

  After Rain made eggs and toast with the last of the groceries on hand, they ate, still wrapped in their blankets.

  “What are you thinking?” Bett asked, after a moment.

  “I was thinking of home,” Rain said quietly, looking away. “We spent a lot of time wrapped up like this in winter. Sometimes there wasn’t much heat.”

  Bett was quiet, waiting to see if Rain would say more. She knew so little about Rain’s childhood. After a moment, she leaned to touched Rain’s cheek gently and let her hand go through Rain’s hair. Rain seemed to pull herself back. She took in Bett’s appearance with a little smile that gradually grew into a twinkle in her eyes. “But I must admit, I did expect more amenities from a Carlton household.”

  Bett gave a surprised laugh and then acted offended.

  Rain’s smile faded. “Actually, I find this quite luxurious. But it will be even colder tonight.” She stood. “I’ve seen a man with a truck selling firewood, when I’ve been in town. Maybe I can find him when I go out to buy groceries.” She added, “I’ll be fine. And I’ll see you again very soon.”

  Rain braided her hair and left the house without another word, dressed in almost everything she had brought.

  About an hour later, Bett heard a strange sound, a ringing, cutting sound, at regular intervals. She looked through the kitchen door window and saw a neatly stacked pile of logs along the side of the house. Rain was on the little porch, wielding a bright ax, splitting some of the logs into kindling. Bett watched the beautiful form, the economical motion of Rain’s swing. As if in slow motion, she felt Rain’s hand slide down from the ax head, heard the edge whisk the air with the quickness of a breath. When the log split, Bett felt a carnal joy. It was physical perfection, erotic exactness happening right outside her door, courtesy of the woman who had come into Bett’s life as Sergeant Gale Rains and who had become the person Bett most wanted to see, the person she most wanted to have in her home, in her bed, in her life.

  When Bett opened the door, Rain walked over, breathing a bit from the exertion of her work and said, “I found the firewood truck.” She presented the blade horizontally. “He had an extra ax to sell, so this is my housewarming gift to you.” Her eyes were fixed searchingly on Bett’s.

  Just that second, Bett could envision a younger Rain, one who had gotten so little from her difficult life but who was still willing to give. Where did she find this goodness, this decency, in the midst of this pitiless world? She felt admiration, and a strong sense that there was much that Rain could teach her about a life of courage, of integrity. But at that moment she mostly felt protective, like she wanted to hold that sweetness and shield her from sadness. She closed her eyes for an extra second and knew another truth. She could be falling madly, hopelessly, desperately in love with Wind and Rain.

  “Rain,” she began, not taking the axe. “I want to—”

  “Bett”—Rain moved back a step—“your house needs warming. Let me build a fire and we can talk inside.” She put the ax against the back wall of the house and returned to where Bett was standing.

  “Can your fire wait one moment?” Bett asked. Rain nodded. “Good,” Bett said, “because if I can’t touch you right this second, I think I might explode.” She put her arms around Rain and the quick response let her know that Rain had been feeling the same thing. They didn’t kiss, but held each other through several deep breaths. Rain rubbed her cheek across Bett’s hair and Bett tightened her arms, pleasure in her sigh.

  *

  The fire felt wonderful. Bett couldn’t remember the last time she had sat in front of a real fire since she’d returned from England. Of course there was rarely need for one in Los Angeles. They sat on the floor, very close to the heat, facing each other. Between them were some remnants of the cheese and apple and crackers that they had nibbled on while the flames caught.

  “I have been thinking that I should apologize for teasing you about your family’s wealth,” Rain said solemnly. “I’ve experienced being judged as someone poor, but as I’ve gotten to know you, I can see the rich are judged, too. Perhaps by a different standard, perhaps even a stricter one since they seem to have so much. I believe that you, Elizabeth Carlton, are walking a difficult road to becoming your own person, even as you fear falling short in the views of others just as much as anyone, maybe more. You want to stay out from under your father’s shadow while staying true to who you are and how you were raised. This is a narrow trail. I think you may have had many”—Rain hesitated just for a second—“friends, but there are also those who would like to see you fall from your own path and return to your father or even descend into a place of regret…or shame.”

  Suddenly Bett’s mouth was on hers, kissing her as much as she could, kissing her face, her throat, even the front of her shirt, and crying at the same time. Rain held her and returned her kisses, tasting the salt and telling her, “No, Bett, please don’t cry. Shh. It’s okay. Shh.”

  At length, Bett was lying quietly in Rain’s arms. She couldn’t believe she had become so emotional, but the things that Rain had said and the way she had said them wer
e so perceptive that she had simply been overcome. She knew she would have to sit up to continue their talk, so she did, leaving Rain’s embrace after one last sweet kiss.

  “My darling, I don’t think even a doctorate from Oxford would prepare me to match your eloquence, or your insight. You’ve come so far in your life, and you’ve made your journey with decency and bravery. I thought of all the qualities you have that I and others admire—you are steady and good, you don’t complain, and you lead by example. I think you have probably seen the bad in some people, but it’s still not the first thing you look for. I think you’ve always been a seeker. I think you’ve found your answers where you could, and you could certainly have done worse than Henry David Thoreau. As I understand it, his philosophy is one of simplicity, of finding harmony with nature and human beings, and I think you’ve always yearned for that in your life.”

  Rain had drawn her knees up to her chest and was rocking slightly. Bett plunged on. “I know you’ve had your heart broken. More than once, I think. I saw it the very first time we were alone and I looked into your eyes. Do you remember? After my first night of KP?” Rain nodded. “I was thanking you and you looked at me and I could see the wall you had up, the way you were protecting yourself and how you had no intention of letting anyone come close. Sometimes I can feel your pain in the way you hold me. But I can’t, in all my thinking, imagine who would have been fool enough to hurt you. Because I think you are the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. I couldn’t be more proud of you, Rain, or happier that you are here, together with me now.”

  They began to kiss and undress each other very slowly. Bett knew she would need to be gentle with Rain after last night. They brought their couch bedroll onto the floor in front of the fire. She turned Rain onto her stomach and sat on her bottom, rubbing Rain’s shoulders, thinking she would give her a massage. But the heat coming from Rain’s body and the way her own crotch began pulsing as she rocked herself back and forth was too fantastic for her to maintain control for long. She leaned down and began kissing the warm, smooth skin of Rain’s back, letting her breasts brush lightly along as she moved toward Rain’s shoulders. Rain began to moan and move under Bett’s mouth. Bett put her mouth close to Rain’s ear and whispered, “You like that, don’t you?”

  Rain didn’t respond with a recognizable word, but the way she stirred as Bett softly kissed her ear was answer enough. She turned Rain back over and set herself between Rain’s legs, her hands rubbing circles on Rain’s chest and down to her breasts. Rain was breathing heavily and her eyes were closed until Bett said, “Look at me, Rain. I want you to see me.”

  As soon as she saw Rain’s dark eyes open, she put her opened mouth between Rain’s thighs, taking her in with a single motion. The surprise and delight in Rain’s cry made Bett think that this too might be something new for her. Each time she worked her lips, she brought her tongue a little farther out until she felt Rain’s hands slide off her and heard them hit the floor.

  “Bett,” she heard Rain say, although her voice was much more highly pitched than usual. It sounded like she was begging, which made Bett slide her tongue all the way out and begin a caressing motion up and down the length of Rain’s opening. Rain’s hands hit the floor again and she moaned. “Bett, I can’t…”

  Oh yes, you can, was in Bett’s head. And you will. Right now. She centered her tongue on Rain’s thrusting body and increased her pace until Rain’s hands came off the floor and buried themselves in her hair, digging in, clutching at her, and the sound was like a passing gust of wind, screaming and then sighing.

  As Bett began making her way up Rain’s now tranquil body, she kept her thigh between Rain’s legs. Head on Rain’s shoulder, she gave Rain as much time as she could before she asked, “No one’s ever done that to you either, have they?” Rain tried to move but Bett pressed herself on top of her. She could just feel Rain shaking her head. “Good,” Bett said, “then you’ll always know it’s me.”

  “It’s always been you.” Rain’s whisper was hoarse with emotion. “It’s only been you.” Bett closed her eyes and let the words fill her.

  The places where their bodies touched seemed to simmer with desire. When the fire popped loudly a second time, Rain lifted one knee slightly and Bett began to move slowly against her thigh, still lying stretched out on Rain’s body. As her arousal pulsed slowly, she wondered if this need would ever be satisfied, and if their passion for each other could become more than physical. She worried that she might no longer be able to pull back from the edge she could feel herself approaching—not just the building of her climax, but the place where everything would change and her heart would no longer be her own. Rain raised up slightly and put her hands on Bett’s thighs, shifting her over so she was straddling Rain’s narrow hips and the wetness of Bett’s body came into contact with Rain’s tilted pelvis.

  Still stretched out on Rain’s body, Bett moaned a short “Oh!” and then Rain positioned her hands on Bett’s hips to make her repeat the motion. When Bett began moving on her own, her next cry stretched out longer. She was moving steadily, loving the feeling of sliding her body against Rain’s.

  Then Rain said, “Look at me, Bett.”

  Bett pushed herself up to a seated position, leaning back slightly so she could see Rain’s face, which caused the sensations growing inside her to increase. Her body fit into Rain’s just at the place where she needed her release, and then Rain’s fingers traveled up to Bett’s breasts which made Bett move faster. She couldn’t help opening her mouth to pant at the pace of her movements. Rain held Bett’s breasts, squeezing gently, occasionally running her thumbs over Bett’s nipples. Then Bett had to close her eyes again, her head tipping back as her body began to shudder. She let out a long, slow groan and fell back on top of Rain, who grabbed Bett’s hips and pushed into her just a little harder until the shuddering finally stopped.

  After a few minutes, Rain rolled Bett onto her back. Bett felt Rain’s hands brush the hair back from her face, and then Rain’s lips brushed the hollow in her throat, her hair pooling softly on Bett’s chest. Bett didn’t want to open her eyes, but her mouth moved into a smile.

  Then Rain’s voice, back to its normal deep tone, was in her ear. “Tell me,” Rain demanded.

  Bett knew what Rain was asking. “Only you.” She breathed. “Always you.” The edge was gone. She knew she was lost…and found.

  *

  A few hours later, Bett opened her eyes, instantly aware that Rain wasn’t beside her. Looking around, she found Rain sitting up, watching her with one of those unreadable expressions on her face.

  Bett sat also, anxious, coming fully awake almost immediately. “What is it, darling? Is something wrong? Please tell me.”

  “It’s that,” Rain replied. “What do you mean by darling?”

  “It’s just a term of endearment, Rain,” Bett said, relieved at the simple question. “Like sweetie or dear. Something to say in place of someone’s name. I’m sure I picked it up at school.”

  Rain shook her head. “I asked it wrong. I meant, who is darling?”

  “Why, you are, of course.” Bett smiled.

  Rain didn’t. “But not only me,” she persisted. “Just this morning I heard you say this to your friend on the phone. It sounds the same. Is there no difference in your mind between them and me?”

  Bett was beginning to understand. “Yes, there is a world of difference, of course.”

  “But how am I to know, when it is the same word? How should others who hear you say this to me know that it is not the same as what you say to them?”

  Bett moved closer and took Rain’s face in her hands. Looking into her eyes, she said, softly, “Tell me what you want, Rain. Don’t ever be afraid to do that. If you’ll tell me what it is, I will move heaven and earth to give it to you.”

  The unreadable expression changed as Rain’s eyes focused on the promise that lay waiting between them. She took a breath. “I want a word that we use just for us. Something t
hat neither says to another.”

  Bett nodded, feeling the intention of Rain’s words resonate inside her. “I would like that, too. Did you have something in mind?”

  Rain lifted her gaze, thinking. Bett’s words had already made their way into her heart: heaven and earth. She thought, That is what you are to me, Bett. The beauty of the stars above me and the solid world in my arms. Taking in Bett’s scent, the feel of her skin, the look in her eyes just now as she waited, Rain searched for a word that would confirm the goodness that was between them, wanting something meaningful for them both. After some challenging conversations with the base chaplain during her own basic training, she’d read the entire Bible. The beautiful expression from the Song of Solomon where a lover described the one for whom she’d waited sounded right, and true. She spoke the word aloud. “Beloved.”

  Bett closed her eyes, feeling the deep well of emotion that Rain opened up in her. How like my gallant sergeant to find a lovely, old-fashioned word like that. She opened her eyes and blinked to clear them. “That is perfect, Rain,” she said, taking each hand and kissing it. “You are indeed my beloved.”

  About the Author

  Jaycie Morrison is a second generation native Dallasite who is also in love with Colorado and now splits her time between the two. She lives with her wife of twenty-eight years and her ten-year-old blue heeler. As a youngster, she and her friends entertained themselves making up and acting out stories featuring characters from popular TV shows or favorite bands—lots of action and a little romance even then! A voracious reader, she always wondered what it would be like to write a book and found that once she started, it was almost impossible to stop. Her first novel, Basic Training of the Heart, begins a series that combines her love of the written word and of history.