With Every Heartbeat

by Linda Kage

  “Is there really a naked picture of Aspen going around?” Caroline asked, lifting her face.

  Ten stopped moving his fingers through her hair as his gaze touched hers. “Yeah,” he said. “It’s what got her fired.”

  Caroline shook her head. “That doesn’t make sense. How could a naked picture of just her get her fired?”

  “It had Noel’s arm in it.”

  This time, I shook my head, confused, though no one saw me doing so from my hiding spot. Geesh, I was doing a lot of hiding and eavesdropping on couples today.

  “I still don’t get it,” Caroline spoke my thoughts aloud. “If all they saw was his arm, then how did they know who she was with? It might not have been a student at all—”

  Ten lifted his forearm to point out something I couldn’t see from where I was standing. “About a dozen of us football players got this very same tattoo last year. It did end up in the picture of her, so the university knew it had to be a current ESU football player she was with.”

  Caroline studied the tattoo and slowly ran her finger over it. I don’t think she noticed how doing that made Ten close his eyes briefly and then slowly reopen them.

  She finally looked up. “So, for all they know, it could’ve been you who’d been with Aspen.”

  His lips spread with amusement. “It wasn’t me.”

  Her fingers kept lingering on his tattoo while her gaze stayed fastened to his. “I can’t believe they’ve been going through all this, and I didn’t even have a clue.”

  Ten shook his head. “You had plenty else to worry about.”

  Caroline opened her mouth, but then she shut it before speaking. It took another moment for her eyes to widen with horror. “Oh God. You know. About me.”

  She tried to pull away, but he caught her shoulder and tugged her back. “Wait. Where are you going?”

  “I don’t know.” Keeping her back to his chest, she lifted a hand in a helpless gesture. “To crawl under a rock and die of humiliation.”

  “You have nothing to be humiliated about.” Taking her elbow, he turned her back around to face him.

  “How do you know?” she asked. “Did Noel tell you?”

  “No. I was there when you told him, remember? It was kind of impossible not to hear every word through those thin walls.”

  Her face drained of color. Shaking her head, she once again turned away, but he held her waist and pressed her back to his chest again as she bent slightly at the waist.

  “No. Caroline...don’t do that. Don’t turn away.” He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to the side of her neck.

  More tears trickled down her cheeks. “You must think I’m a—”

  “I don’t,” he cut in intently, spinning her around and forcing her to look at him, cupping her cheeks in his palms. “I absolutely don’t think anything bad of you at all.”

  She blinked and one last wet drop slid from her lashes. Ten caught it with his thumb and wiped it away. Caroline’s chest heaved as she drew in a breath. The entire time they continued to stare into each other’s eyes, I held my breath as I waited for what would come next.

  Caroline was the first to move. She lifted her chin and arched up onto her toes to kiss him.

  But he stepped back, turning his face aside. “Don’t.” His voice was low and strained.

  Covering my mouth with both hands, I could actually feel Caroline’s rejection pierce my own chest. And, ouch, that had to have stung. She slowly moved back, then curled her shoulder in before whirling away.

  As she ran off, Ten stared after her, gripping his hair. Torment creased his face as he closed his eyes and mouthed something I didn’t catch.

  When he opened up, he stepped forward as if he wanted to follow her, but he caught sight of me instead and skidded to a halt.

  His eyes narrowed. I cowered a step back and clutched my purse close. “Uh...” I tried to explain my eavesdropping presence, but yeah, nothing came out.

  He sauntered toward me, giving off a lethal kind of vibe. “Well, look who’s nothing but eyes and ears tonight. You learn a lot in the past hour, Blondie?”

  I took a step back and shook my head intently as I gulped. “I didn’t—”

  “See anything?” he asked with an arched eyebrow. “Hear anything?”

  “No, I...I didn’t see or hear anything,” I agreed.

  “No,” he murmured softly as he studied me a moment longer. “You didn’t, did you? Because you’re not a loud-mouthed cow like your bitch of a roommate, are you?”

  My mouth fell open. I couldn’t believe he’d just said that about Cora. Cora was everything bright and bubbly. Why would anyone call her a—

  He hitched his chin to the right. “Why don’t you go find Caroline and make sure she gets home safe and sound?”

  He sounded so concerned about her; it gave me the courage to ask, “Are you going to apologize to her?”

  Ten snorted. “Fuck no.” Gritting his teeth, he scowled at me. “In fact, I’m going to have to change up my game around her so she never forgives me.”

  Spinning away, he stalked off without explaining himself.

  I stood there a moment longer. This was definitely turning out to be one of the strangest days of my life. But for some reason, I felt exhilarated. It was so far and beyond anything my father would approve of. I secretly relished having been a minor part in it.

  I turned in the direction Caroline had run, but no sooner did I get a few steps than Cora, hand-in-hand with Quinn, veered around the corner.

  “Zoey?” Cora asked in surprise. “What’re you doing out here?”

  Concern knit Quinn’s brow. “Everything okay?”

  I nodded, though I had no idea if anything was okay at all. I motioned vaguely toward the entrance of the pizzeria. “Everyone left. Except Caroline. She ran that way, upset, and Noel asked if we could make sure she got home.”

  While Cora scowled at the idea, Quinn immediately nodded. “Sure. No problem.”

  “What?” Cora glowered at him. “I don’t want to babysit Noel Gamble’s little sister.” As she sniffed in disgust, both Quinn and I gaped at her.

  “Cora!” he scolded, as I gasped out, “We can’t just leave her here by herself.”

  She scowled between the two of us. When she must’ve realized she was outnumbered, she sniffed. “Whatever.” Folding her arms over her chest, Cora spun away and started off. “I’m going to wait in the car.”

  I stared after her, wondering where all the attitude had come from and why she’d been so snotty. The Cora I knew never acted that way.

  “She’s mad at me because I didn’t tell her about Noel and Aspen before,” Quinn said, answering my silent question.

  I looked up at him and instantly felt awful. He looked guilty and crushed. So I shook my head. “It wasn’t your secret to tell.”

  Just as it wasn’t my secret to tell him what was happening to his girlfriend...even if I thought he should know.

  He shook his head as if brushing aside his issues with his girlfriend and lifted his gaze, his blue eyes full of pain. “Do we know where Caroline is?”

  I made a face. “Kind of. She ran that way after she tried to kiss Ten.”

  When Quinn’s eyes widened, I slapped my hand over my mouth. “Oh, no! I can’t believe I told you that. I promised Ten I wouldn’t tell anyone what I saw.”

  I blinked, but he waved his hand. “It’s okay. I won’t let him know you told me.” Then he winced “Did he kiss her back?”

  “No. He stepped back, warding her off, and said, ‘don’t,’ so she ran away, crying.”

  He blew out a breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “Wow. I can’t believe he restrained himself. That’s so…not like him. But it’s good that he had some self-control. Noel’s warned him away from Caroline more times than I can count.” He released his hair and glanced around. “What a mess.”

  When I nodded in agreement, he sent me a small smile. “How about I go this way, looking for her, and you g
o that way?”

  I agreed and we set off in our different directions. I found Caroline a few minutes later, sitting on a bench across the street from the pizza parlor under a streetlight. She didn’t say anything or acknowledge me as I approached, but I knew she knew I was there. Silently, I sat beside her and waited.

  She stopped hugging her knees and set her feet slowly back on the ground. “I tried to kiss Oren, but he pushed me away.”

  I swallowed, almost wishing I wasn’t her confidante because I wasn’t sure just how many secrets I could contain for other people. “I saw,” I said.

  She glanced at me. “You did? Does he know that?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. He didn’t want me to tell anyone about it.”

  “Well...I guess that was nice of him to help me keep my mortification private.” Tucking her hands under her thighs until she was sitting on them, she waited another few seconds before she looked at me again. “You probably think I’m pretty pathetic, huh?”

  With a shake of my head, I said, “No. Not at all. I...actually, I thought you were really brave.” Across the street, I caught sight of Quinn as he spotted us. Instead of crossing the street to us, though, he slowed to a stop and respectfully let me have a moment alone with Caroline. “Having the courage to go after something you want…I’ve never had that kind of strength before. I’d think it’d be amazing, though.”

  She sniffed as tears filled her eyes. “I’m pretty messed up right now, is what I am.”

  I smiled. “Then I guess I’m pretty pathetic, because I was just wishing I could be more like you.”

  Her laugh was self-derisive. “Trust me, you don’t want to be like me.”

  Shrugging, I tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. “I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree on that.”

  She didn’t answer for a while. Then she blew out a breath and said, “Or maybe we’re just messed up together.”

  A grin tugged at my lips. “Maybe.” I pushed to my feet. “Come on. I think our ride’s waiting.”

  Brows furrowing, she looked up at me. “Ride?”

  I hitched my chin toward Quinn and explained how her brother had already taken the rest of her family home. She nodded in resignation and followed me back across the street. But before we reached him, she tugged me back a step to say into my ear, “Hey. Thank you.”

  I hadn’t done anything very life altering, but I nodded and grabbed her hand, squeezing it warmly before letting go.

  Quinn didn’t appear annoyed about having to wait on us. He remained low key, his hands in his pockets but worry in his eyes. “Ready to go?” was all he said.

  His reaction was so unlike what my father would’ve done, it was kind of startling how cool he was about the entire situation.

  I nodded, answering for both Caroline and myself as I ignored the strange urge to step toward him and hug him. His body was huge and bulky and looked really hard, but I had a feeling a hug from him would be comfortable and safe. Maybe it was because I knew he smelled so good, or because his T-shirt looked so soft and well worn, or maybe it was because he exuded a protective aura I just wanted to burrow into. In either case, it freaked me out how close I wanted to get to him. So I made sure to keep Caroline between him and me as the three of us walked quietly back to Cora’s car.

  The trip home was quiet and tense, mostly because an angry silence radiated from Cora throughout the car. In the backseat, Caroline and I didn’t talk either. All she whispered to me was, “Good luck,” after Quinn pulled into her drive to let her out. There was nothing I needed luck for, but I appreciated her concern, anyway.

  As soon as we parked in the parking garage to the high rise, Cora shoved the door open and marched off, slamming it behind her. Quinn breathed out a long, loud sigh as he watched her go.

  “She’ll be fine,” I felt compelled to say. “Cora never stays mad long.”

  He twisted in his seat just enough to glance back at me. A small smile lifted his lips. “Yeah,” he agreed, but he still looked miserable as his gaze slid back to his girlfriend who was being let inside by Henry.

  Suddenly, Quinn glanced back at me again. “Hey, thanks for everything you did for Caroline.”

  I blushed, stumped by his gratitude. “I didn’t...” I shook my head.

  “Noel said he hadn’t seen her laugh all summer. When he saw you talking to her at the car wash, making her laugh...that’s why he wanted you to eat pizza with them. He was so grateful for what you’d done.”

  A surprised laugh left me. “But I didn’t do anything.”

  Quinn gave a slight shake of his head. “You included her,” he said, reminding me of what Cora had done for me that first day I’d met her. She’d asked me to sit on the bench next to her, and then she’d just...talked to me as if I was someone. She’d included me in her life. And now here I was, ready to give up a kidney for her.

  “Sometimes, it’s the little things we do that mean the most to others,” Quinn murmured, echoing my thoughts.

  I don’t know what changed in that very moment, but the last remaining bit of uncomfortable tension I’d felt around him the first night we met kind of just…melted away. I smiled as my chest eased.

  Bringing his knuckles to his mouth, Quinn noticed nothing of my situation. He returned his attention to the entrance of our building. Cora was long gone inside, but he kept staring at the door before he asked, “Mind if I follow you up? Try one last time tonight to mend fences with her?”

  “Sure,” I said.

  The elevator ride up was quiet, but it didn’t feel as weird as it had the night before. Quinn was lost in his own thoughts, and I was still digesting all the things that had happened during and after the car wash. After I unlocked the door and let him in, he nodded his thanks and walked back to Cora’s closed bedroom door. He knocked once, then let himself in and quietly shut the door behind him.

  I drifted back to my own room. My stomach grumbled from the supper we’d never gotten to eat, but it felt weird to wander around the apartment while Cora and her boyfriend talked in her room. So I curled up on my bed and wrote a short story about a girl who tried to kiss a boy but was shot down. In the end, they got back together and lived happily ever after.

  I never heard any yelling from down the hall. I didn’t hear anything, actually. I didn’t even hear Quinn leave by the time I got ready for bed and fell asleep. I wondered if he’d convinced Cora to forgive him, but I had a feeling he had. If I’d been his girlfriend, I don’t guess I’d be able to stay mad at him very long. Honestly, if I were his girlfriend, I doubt I’d be able to get mad at him in the first place.

  But thinking thoughts like that made me uncomfortably warm. Quinn Hamilton really needed to stop being so nice and pleasant to me. It gave my poor, pathetic heart thoughts it shouldn’t be having.

  From here on out, I decided, I was going to keep myself as distant from him as possible, because guys like that were just too potent for girls like me.

  Cora was sleeping soundly on the other side of the mattress when I woke. She liked to sleep in a lot. I swear, she’d sleep till noon every day if she could.

  I turned my head and watched her breathe, relieved she’d forgiven me last night.

  I knew I’d messed up. I was awful at talking about myself or my friends. I was awful at talking, period. But she’d been so mad at me. Her accusing words still haunted my ears.

  “You made me look like a clueless idiot, Quinn.”

  “No,” I’d tried to tell her. “You didn’t look like an idiot. You—”

  “Looked like an idiot,” she snapped.

  So I attempted to explain why everything had to be kept a secret. Just because there were a few rumors floating around campus about the reason Aspen had been fired didn’t mean people actually knew the truth. But if the truth got out, her entire future could be compromised. She might never find another teaching job again. And Noel would be crushed.

  But Cora hadn’t cared about any of that. She’d just cared that I hadn’t
felt the need to tell her such juicy gossip. It would’ve been bad of me to point out how much she and her friends like to spread rumors, whether they were true or not. Telling Cora anything confidential was usually too risky. So I just kept apologizing and promising I’d never keep anything from her again. And finally, she’d loosened up and given in.

  After a quick kiss to her cheek while she continued to sleep, I crawled out of bed and pulled on my clothes from last night.

  Foregoing my socks and shoes, I padded through the quiet apartment. After a quick freshening up in the bathroom, I headed toward the kitchen. I found the griddle under the sink where I’d cleaned and left it last Saturday. After plugging it in to heat, I hunted up some eggs, vegetable oil, and milk. The pancake mix was right where I’d last left it, too.

  I had the batter whipped up and was about to pour my special happy faces when I heard someone enter the kitchen behind me. The startled gasp let me know it wasn’t Cora.

  Every short hair on the back of my neck stood at immediate attention.

  I whirled around. “Hi. Good morning,” I rushed out the greeting. “Hungry?”

  Zoey jerked to a halt, gaping badly. She had her hair down. This was the first time I’d seen it down. It was still tousled and uncombed, fresh from bed. It made me uncomfortable, as did the rest of her outfit. Sure, her shirt was a lot looser than the one she’d worn last night to the car wash, but it was so large the sleeve on one side had slipped down and fallen off one smooth, creamy shoulder. Her shorts were once again short enough to expose plenty of her slim, toned legs.

  Not good. I really had to stop looking at her legs.

  So, I did, forcing my attention to her face. Except her green eyes were so bright and innocent today. They caused a catch in my throat.

  She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she took her attention away from me to study the mess I’d made of the counters.