With Every Heartbeat

by Linda Kage

  There was something “wounded animal”-like about the way she was sitting. Charging forward with concern seemed like a bad idea. So...as I crept closer, I whispered. “Zoey?”

  Her head flew up, and she stared at me from wide, tearstained eyes.

  My heart cracked. I’d never seen her cry before, and she looked so lost and alone. I wanted to yank her into my arms and cradle her close just as much as I wanted to hunt down whoever had hurt her and pulverize them.

  “What’s wrong?” I eased to my knees next to her.

  “Nothing.” She eyed me warily but didn’t skitter away.

  I arched an eyebrow, letting her know it was definitely not nothing.

  She blew out a breath and stared forward, wiping frantically at her cheeks. “It’s really...nothing,” she repeated. “It’s stupid.”

  Situating myself so I was sitting beside her on the floor with my knees bent up and the shadows covering us in our little nook, I waited until she stopped trying to pat her face back into order before I said, “It’s not stupid to you.”

  She glanced at me. “But it’s probably stupid to you.”

  “I still want to hear about it.”

  After shaking her head, she hugged her knees tighter and went back to staring straight ahead as if I wasn’t beside her.

  Knowing she wasn’t going to instigate our talk, I cleared my throat. “When I was little, I hated it when my mom drank. She was nicer when she was sober, hit me less, treated me as an actual human being. It was when she had alcohol in her that everything went bad. So I went to the library and did all kinds of research about how to stop drinking. I came up with a, I don’t know, a kind of step-by-step program to help her quit. I drew up a bunch of posters and graphs and spent nearly a month to create this little presentation to help her, because everything I read said alcoholism was a disease. I thought she’d thank me if she saw how much work I’d gone through to help save her.”

  “What’d she do?” Zoey whispered, her eyes wide with worry as she glanced at me.

  “She got mad.” I watched a new tear glisten on Zoey’s cheek, and I wanted to wipe it away. “She threw a beer bottle at me and yelled at me for being such a freak. Then she chased me until she caught me in my bedroom. She hit me until I passed out, and...I don’t remember anything else after that.”

  Zoey shuddered and hugged herself. “I kind of prefer passing out during a beating. I don’t like remembering...or feeling it.”

  I reached over slowly and unpeeled her fingers off her forearm from where she was hugging herself, then I squeezed her hand gently. “Will you please tell me why you’re so upset? I know what it feels like to think something’s important, only to find out someone else thinks it’s stupid. I promise I won’t think any less of you. I just want to help.”

  She lowered her face and sniffed. “We had open critique in my writing class today.”

  I pulled her hand against my chest and squeezed it a little bit harder. She didn’t have to tell me she’d gotten some bad comments about her story. She wouldn’t be sitting here, sobbing, if it’d gone okay.

  I didn’t say anything, just stroked the knuckles on her hand and waited for her to talk. A minute later, she sniffed again, blew out a shuddery breath, and wiped at her cheek with the back of her free hand. “Not one person liked it. It was stupid, silly, immature. The teacher went into a big long tirade about the differences between true literature and...and...whatever drivel I’d written. Talking animals are bad. Stories with no connection to the human condition are worthless—”

  “Now wait a second,” I butted in, frowning. “The Silver Belt had all kinds of connections to deeper things. And the frog in that was the funniest character in the entire story.”

  Zoey jerked her face up, her eyes wide as she blinked them. “Y-you actually read The Silver Belt already? All of it?”

  “Well...yeah. And it connected with me, like, really well. I kept thinking about it long after I finished. How Truman always felt like he was on the outside of everything, left out as if he was missing the biggest step of how to be a true fisherman. I feel that way practically every day. Not about fishing, but other things. And I’m serious about that frog. You’re not allowed to take him out of that story.”

  She gave a watery laugh, and I swear, watching her smile made my entire day. “You really liked him?” she asked, her voice uncertain.

  “I’ve read it three times,” I said. “So I don’t think the problem is your writing. It was just...your audience. I don’t think they wanted to teach you to be a better writer, they wanted to teach you to write a certain way. I just hope you know not everyone wants to read their kind of stories. Some of us prefer the talking animals. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”

  She nodded and brushed the last of her tears off her face. “Okay. Thank you.” Her eyes lifted to mine. The trust and gratitude I saw made my chest fill with this awesome pressure. “I just wish I would’ve known that before I turned in my first story.”

  I pulled her closer and gave her a one-armed hug. “So do I.” Because I seriously hated to see her cry.

  “Thank you again, Quinn. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t come along and—”

  “Hey, no problem.” I bumped my shoulder into her to get her to look at me. Then I grinned, flashing my dimple in pleading. “Just promise you’ll let me read more of your talking animals, and we’ll call it even.”

  She rolled hers eyes but grinned back. “You don’t seriously want to read more.”

  “Heck, yes, I do.” I stood up, dusted off my pants and then held down a hand to her. “Until then, what do you say? Want to work on some biology?”

  Groaning as she stood, she gifted me with a dry glance. “No. But...I probably should. You’re a better teacher than the professor.”

  I grinned. “Thank you. Now let’s find a table around here and get our geek on.”

  When I tightened my grip on her hand, she tightened hers right back. I felt good that hour, helping her with her homework and making silly jokes about people against talking animals. She finally loosened up enough to joke back with me. I was never so happy that I’d been able to get past my physical reaction to her so we could finally be friends.

  Because I really liked being Zoey’s friend.

  My first trip to the Forbidden Nightclub to watch the band Non-Castrato play their first gig started with me full of nerves.

  Not surprising, huh?

  Since Caroline was adamant that I go with her, I drove to her place as soon as classes let out. She claimed she had “the dress” she wanted me to wear.

  I wasn’t really a dress person, but she kind of sucked me into her enthusiasm, so I agreed and even started to get excited about it, too.

  I met her two younger brothers—the older one, Brandt at fourteen, even flirted with me, making me blush, which in turn made Caroline chase him away. Then I met her brother’s girlfriend, Aspen...officially. Caroline had also talked Aspen into going. But I could tell as soon as I arrived that the poor ex-teacher was a quivering ball of nerves.

  Caroline forced us both into dresses, short ones that fell way above our knees, and tops that conformed sexily to our figures. Then she went and put pants on herself. When I asked what that was about, she waved a hand, saying, “Pfft. I don’t have anyone to impress,” which really confused me because I didn’t have anyone to impress either. But when I said that, she merely sent me an unreadable Mona Lisa-type smile and said, “You look great. You’re wearing it.”

  I’m not sure if I really looked that great, but it was soft and it made me feel pretty, so I gave in. And I think Aspen felt the same way. But even as she longingly eyed her reflection in the mirror, she made it seem like she didn’t want to leave the boys home alone.

  “Are you sure you’re okay with heating up leftovers for supper?” she asked Brandt.

  He snorted. “That’s how we ate every night before moving here.”

  Aspen paled and opened her mout
h, probably to say she wasn’t going to leave them alone, but Brandt waved her on “We’ll be fine. Just go. Have fun. Make Noel sweat by showing up, looking like that.”

  Biting her lip, Aspen nodded and was helplessly swept along as Caroline hooked her arms through Aspen’s and then mine.

  “I don’t know about you two, but I’m totally looking forward to tonight. I’m feeling good vibes.”

  I was mostly just feeling nervous vibes, but I hoped she had more reliable vibes than I did.

  We arrived before the club opened. Caroline tapped on the front glass doors until her brother appeared on the other side. He grinned when he saw us, and let us in. His eyes were only for Aspen.

  “I couldn’t believe it when Caroline texted and told me she’d talked you into coming. I swear you haven’t been here since…” His eyebrows lifted and Aspen blushed while they shared an inside secret.

  After he pointed at Caroline and said, “Behave,” he grabbed Aspen’s hand and swept her away toward the bar, leaving Caroline and me behind. We glanced at each other as we huddled together just inside the entrance. One bartender was in the back behind the bar, setting up a row of glasses while a handful of waitresses pulled chairs off the tables and four guys milled around the staging area. No one seemed to pay any attention to the pair of us.

  “Have you ever been here before?” I asked.

  She shook her head but hooked her arm through mine. “I guess we’ll learn our way around together.”

  We didn’t have to worry long about where to go, though; someone started tapping on the glass doors behind us. Caroline glanced around only to grin. Hurrying to the entrance, she pulled the door open for a waving Reese.

  “Thank goodness you’re here. Zoey and I have no clue where to go.”

  “Hey, chickie.” Reese pulled her into a half hug. “Let me show you guys around then.” She swept out an arm. “This…is Forbidden. There’s the bar, the stage, and that hall there leads back to a kitchen, office, bathroom, storage and a new private reception room. And that’s about all there is. Except for this…” She’d led us to the bar where she rested her elbows on the countertop and half leaned over it so she could ogle the guy behind the counter with his back to us as he finished stacking a row of glass cups.

  “Oh, sexy bartender,” she sang out. “I think you dropped something there. You really ought to...bend over and pick it up.”

  Instead of bending, the bartender whirled around and sent her a devastating grin. “What’re you doing here so early?”

  Batting her lashes, Reese sent him her own smoky smile. “I couldn’t stay away from you.”

  Striding to her, he grabbed the front of her shirt and pulled her even further over the bar until she was more than halfway hanging over his side. Then he kissed her hard and long.

  Feeling hot around the collar after witnessing such a scorcher, I glanced Caroline’s way to find her looking back at me with raised eyebrows.

  “Wow,” she mouthed the word as she fanned herself. We started laughing in unison.

  Reese unlocked her lips from the bartender and grinned back at us. “Oh, sorry! Caroline, you’ve already met him, so...Zoey, this is my boyfriend, Mason.” Then she rolled her eyes and slapped her hand to her forehead. “I mean, my fiancé, Mason.”

  Caroline snickered and bumped her elbow into mine. “Yeah, I think she kind of figured that out already.”

  Mason chuckled. “Hi again, Caroline.” Then he glanced at me, “And Zoey. Reese described you perfectly.”

  Reese let out a dreamy-sounding sigh. “Isn’t it awesome? He actually listens when I ramble.” When she leaned in for another kiss, Mason seemed eager to supply her with one.

  They were still locking lips when a new guy exited the back hall. Face full of piercings and arms laden with tattoos, he scowled when he caught sight of the necking couple. “Hey! No baby-making on my counter, please.” He smacked Reese lightly on the butt, making her yelp and jump away from Mason. Then he winked up at her. “Not unless you have a little loving for me, too.”

  “Hey, cousin.” Reese dutifully smacked a kiss to his cheek and wrapped her arm around his neck as he wrapped one around her waist to pull her off the bar top and back onto the floor.

  Folding his arms over his chest, Mason just scowled at them. Reese was too busy asking the newcomer to notice, though.

  “Where’s my girl?” she asked.

  “She’s back in the office, still looking for her panties.”

  “Pick!” Gasping, Reese smacked his arm. “That was way more than I wanted to know.”

  He just chuckled and brought attention to his pocket as he stuffed a peek of cloth deeper out of sight. “So I really shouldn’t tell you she’s not going to find them, huh?”

  Reese rolled her eyes and seemed to notice Caroline and me lurking nearby. “Oh, you need to meet Zoey. Zoey, Pick. Pick, Zoey.”

  Curious brown eyes veered to us. “So, this is the beauty I’ve heard so much about lately? It’s a pleasure.”

  Caroline and I exchanged confused glances before Pick came forward and took each of our hands in a warm greeting. “Long time no see, lovely Caroline.” After he smiled at her, he turned to me, “And Zoey. Welcome to Forbidden.”

  “Hey, I want in on the introductions.”

  One of the guys from the band strolled over. When I turned, he had his gaze set on Caroline. “It’s about time I got to meet you two. The way the guys talk, I feel like we’re old pals already.”

  Realizing he was Asher, the new bartender Reese had gushed about, I studied him a bit more intently. He was slimmer than the other bartenders but had a very arresting face with lips that were probably too pretty for a boy but looked good on him. His eyes were a sparkling green and his dark hair was longish and styled to the side.

  Caroline and I shared a look, and I knew she was thinking exactly what I was thinking. Yowza.

  Simultaneously, we turned back to him.

  “I didn’t realize we were famous,” she said. “What exactly does everyone say about us?”

  His grin grew mischievous. “Oh, you know. Caroline and Zoey did this today. Caroline and Zoey did that. The way I hear it, you guys are quite a pair.”

  Caroline shook her head, looking as dazed as I felt when we shared another glance, this one confused. “We really don’t do all that much, actually. But, wow, I didn’t realize my brother took so much interest in everything we did.”

  Asher’s eyes sparkled as he leaned in to her, lowering his voice. “I didn’t say it was your brother who was always talking about you.”

  Her lips parted as a look of awe spread across her face. We both knew if it wasn’t Noel feeding everyone the gossip, then that left only two people who could possible know so much about us...two other Forbidden bartenders who shared an art class with us.

  “Then, who…” She shook her head, but her eyes lit with hope.

  Asher merely winked. “You’ll never get me to tell.” Patting her shoulder and mine both, he glanced between us before adding, “Thanks for coming to watch me sing tonight. I hope you like the show.”

  And then he was strolling off, making us gape after him. Caroline leaned in closer to me. “Oh, yeah. I like him.”

  I nodded dumbly. He definitely had a certain appeal.

  “Patrick Jason Ryan!” a blonde screeched, marching out from the back hall, where she stopped and set her fists sternly on her hips.

  Pick lifted his face from the cash drawer he was slotting into the register. “Yes, my love?”

  “Oh, don’t you give me that innocent little smile. You know what you took from me.” She held out her hand, palm up. “Give them back.”

  He just grinned. “Now, you know better than that. That’s not how to go about getting anything from me, Tink.”

  Tink’s eyes lit with pleasure and she murmured, “You’re right. I know a much better way to get what I want from you.”

  But when she went to stroll toward him, Reese lifted her hands and squee
zed her eyes shut. “For the love of God, just give her undies back already. I swear, the two of you are even making my unborn babies blush.”

  “Ree Ree,” Tink cheered, when she saw Reese. “I didn’t know you were here already.”

  They came together and hugged. While Tink had blonde hair and Reese had dark, I could still tell they were related from the shape and color of their eyes.

  “And look.” Reese steered Tink around to face us. “Caroline and Zoey are here, too.”

  “Zoey?” Eva pulled back and glanced around blindly until her gaze settled on me. “You mean, the Zoey?”

  She sounded as if she couldn’t believe it, but when Reese nodded, she studied me up and down, before a knowing smile lit her face. “You were exactly right about her, Ree Ree.”

  Reese just laughed. “Of course I was.”

  I glanced between them, but neither seemed willing to let me in on the joke, so I had no idea what Reese had been right about. It must not have been anything bad, though, because Eva came to me and immediately pulled me into an enormous hug. After greeting Caroline, she returned to me and looped an arm around my shoulder to ask me all kinds of getting-to-know you questions, like my year in college and what my major was. After I politely answered everything, she shook her head and glanced toward Reese again. “I can’t believe it,” she murmured, sounding almost in awe. “She’s freaking perfect for him.”

  “Wait, what?” I blushed at the unexpected comment. “Who’re we talking about?”

  But Eva just tsked at me and patted my cheek. “Oh, honey, you’ll figure it out soon enough. Just know, Reese and I will be cheering you on the entire time.”

  “Um...” I shook my head, completely confused. “Okay.”

  Eva glanced at Caroline. “And we’re cheering for you and...” She glanced around before turning back to us, “your other half, too.”

  Caroline glanced at me and lifted her eyebrows. I shrugged, so she shrugged, too. “Thank you?” she finally told Eva as if it was more of a question than an answer.