With Every Heartbeat

by Linda Kage

  I bit my bottom lip as my thighs quivered with need.

  His attention fell to where he was gently thrumming his finger up and down my labia. “Some flowers react to sunlight and open their petals during the day, exposing all their carpels to the world.” He swiped his finger between my lower lips, making me cry out and jerk from the mattress. “Am I your sunlight, Zoey? Is that why you opened your petals?”

  I didn’t respond past a needy whimper, but I don’t think I needed to. He already knew the answer. He wasn’t just my sunlight; he was my everything.

  “This receptive tip here would be the stigma. It catches all the pollen for germination.” He slipped his finger over my clit and rolled it delicately under the pad of his finger. “It’s definitely caught me.”

  He massaged the nub relentlessly, focusing on nothing but the circular movement of his touch. My body seemed to compress into that one spot, coiling all feeling there as if waiting for the right moment to release it and zap the sensation back out the ends of my arms and legs.

  “Nectar is what attracts the bees who carry off the pollen to other flowers where they get more, but me...if I were a bee, I don’t think I’d be a good pollinator. I think I’d taste one brand of flower and like it so much I’d become addicted. I’d never want to go off to another one ever again.”

  After dipping his face, he licked me, right up through the center of my petals, swiping up a mouthful of my nectar. I shrieked and clutched the blankets under me, my thighs quivering and chest heaving while the hard tips of my nipples burned for the same attention.

  Lifting his face to look up at me, he groaned. “God, yes. That’s the flavor, right there. That’s what would keep me coming back for more, every time.”

  Which is exactly what he did. His tongue went back for more, working faster, making his strokes longer, and applying pressure harder until I was squirming under him, grabbing handfuls of his hair, and whimpering completely incoherent words. It was so much more than I ever thought this could possibly be, and yet something seemed to be missing, like I needed—

  As his tongue continued to lavish ceaselessly, his finger went lower, circled the damp rim of my sex and then pushed inside.

  I cried out. The muscles inside me greedily contracted around his fingers before the tightening in my womb went crazy. I didn’t know how to control it; there was no way to control what happened next. I choked out the most embarrassing sound, and yet I didn’t care. I was freaking flying. My body went haywire in the best way possible and Quinn, the source of it, just kept feeding the explosion with his mouth and fingers.

  By the time I settled down, I was limp and exhausted, yet exhilarated and at peace, satisfied in a way that boggled my mind.

  Quinn took his mouth off me and slid his finger free. I whimpered from the loss, but I still felt too good to really care. When he sat up and our gazes met, he looked a little feverish, his eyes desperate and his skin slick with sweat.

  Feeling as if I’d taken on all his alcohol, I offered him a drunken smile. “Whoa,” was all I could think to say.

  He laughed, and his flushed face crinkled with genuine pleasure. “I wish I could take a picture of your smile right now.” He reached out to unstick a sweat-clogged piece of hair from my cheek. “I want to memorize it and carry it around with me always.”

  Too blank to think up an appropriate response to his sweet words, I nodded. I wanted to thank him, pile my own heap of sweetness right back onto him, and praise him for being...him. But I’m pretty sure he’d just scrambled all rational thought right out of my head.

  So what I ended up saying was, “There’s more, right?”

  His blue eyes sparkled as he nodded. My gaze fell down to his cock where he was still kneeling between my spread legs. Hard, and long, and completely intimidating, it dripped with anticipation, stirring up a new arousal in me I had thought for sure he’d licked away.

  Before, I’d been worried about the fit, but after his finger had been in me and I’d loved the way it had filled me—and had wanted even more filling me—I was actually eager to feel the real deal. Spreading my legs wider, I lifted my hips to him, displaying everything I had to let him know I wanted it. I had no clue where my inhibitions had gone, but with Quinn Hamilton hard and dripping before me, those things had highjacked themselves out my body and taken a vacation.

  “Show me,” I said.

  Again, he nodded without speaking. After spotting his crumpled jeans hanging off the side of the bed, he dug into the back pocket, pulled out his wallet and flipped it open. As he pulled out a condom, a moment of reality struck. Hard. I experienced another slap of guilt.

  He’d probably bought that condom, thinking he’d use it on my roommate.

  Oh, God. What was I doing? I shouldn’t be doing this. He was Cora’s. She’d had him first, and probably opened herself in this very position to him many times. I should never be allowed—

  But then he tore open the package and began to sheathe himself. It was beautiful to watch. He rolled the small layer of latex down with such care, holding on to the tip as he went. Then he wrapped his fist around the base as if to insure everything was in proper place.

  When he started to let go, I choked out a sound of resistance. “No. Don’t.”

  He looked up, startled. “What’s wrong?”

  I blushed, embarrassed by what I wanted and averted my gaze. “Nothing.”

  “No, tell me. Zoey, please.”

  He touched my hip and looked so worried, as if he thought I might stop everything, I had to tell him. Ducking my face, I admitted, “I...I liked watching you...touch it.”

  His mouth fell open. He looked down at himself and then back up to me. Then his lips twitched. “What? Like this?”

  He touched himself again, rewrapping his palm around his thick girth. Then he went and pumped his fist slowly up and down the entire length.

  “Oh, God.” I drew in an awestruck breath. “Yeah. Like that. Is that...is that how you masturbate?”

  He nodded and closed this eyes, his throat working as he kept on with the movement of his hand. “This is what I did when I thought about you.”

  “It’s breathtaking,” I didn’t mean to admit aloud.

  His pupils seemed to dilate and his shallow pants went even more erratic. “You could do it too.” When his gaze slid between my legs, a spark of arousal shot through my pussy, startling me. “You could touch yourself where I just touched you.”

  My mouth worked before I could form the words. “W-would that...I mean, would you like that?”

  Face going from red to deep purple, he nodded, his eyes intent. “Only as much as you seem to like watching me do it.”

  Oh. Wow. That much, huh?

  I slowly, hesitantly reached down. But my fingers had barely begun to fondle, eliciting an excited tremble in my womb, when Quinn lost it.

  “Fuck,” he rasped, his teeth locked tight as he stared dumbfounded at my hand between my legs. “I can’t...I’m sorry, I can’t wait. I have to...” He let go of himself to grasp my thighs. As he pulled me down toward him, into his lap, he thrust his hips forward. Like two matching pieces of a puzzle, we came together.

  Quinn pushed inside me without pause or hesitation. I cried out from the shock and nip of pain as he filled me completely. His overly long eyelashes fluttered as he tipped his head back, making the muscles in his throat strain.

  He said something, then said it again. I wasn’t sure if it was Jesus or Jeez or a strange version of both, but the word seemed to be ripped out of him. When he finally looked down at me, he appeared dazed and drugged. But he only had to glance into my eyes before his own widened with realization.

  “Oh shit, Zoey. I’m inside you.”

  “I know.” If there was only one thing in the world I knew in that moment, it was that he was full and hard and deep inside me.

  “Are you okay? Does it hurt?” He didn’t wait for me to answer before demanding, “How bad does it hurt? I’ll pull out.”


  He started to retract his hips, but I stopped him, clamping my thighs around him. “No. Don’t. It’s not bad. Just a little sting. It’s already...it’s not so...just give me a second.”

  Quinn nodded, watching my face. Panic etched into his expression, his gaze drifting to my white cheeks and my wide eyes. “It’s not fair. Why does it have to hurt for you and feel so good to me?”

  I smiled and buried my fingers in his forearms. “Does it feel good to you?”

  His laugh was surprised, as if he couldn’t believe I even had to ask. “Yeah,” he admitted. His hips started to move, but he gritted his teeth and held them still again.

  Beginning to grow accustomed to the stretch my inner muscles made to accommodate his girth, I shifted and started thinking that moving might not be such a bad idea after all. But I knew he wasn’t going to budge until I okayed it. I liked knowing that. I liked having some power and control here, even though he was the experienced one who was teaching me everything.

  Wiping beads of sweat off his brow, I said, “Maybe if you kissed me, you could share some of that good feeling.”

  “Okay,” he said as if willing to try anything.

  It’d been too many minutes since his mouth had last pressed against mine. He felt fresh and new, as if I’d never kissed him before. A light tang on his tongue made me realize exactly what I was tasting. I knew I should be embarrassed, but just then, I didn’t care.

  Quinn moaned and rolled his hips. I don’t think he realized what he’d done. But I did. Oh, how I noticed the way it felt for him to retreat and then penetrate again, rubbing his heavy length against a bundle of nerves. My toes curled and my fingernails dug into his scalp. When I arched my hips up to meet his next thrust, he spiked his tongue deeper into my mouth and pounded a little harder, a little faster.

  “Yes,” I sobbed. “Yes.”

  He slid his hands under my bottom and lifted it off the mattress so he could control the angle and depth of his plunges. My body quickened and that sensation I’d experienced only minutes before crested once more.

  “Quinn!”

  “Zoey,” he groaned, gripping my hips and pouring into me.

  We came together, and it was the best biology lesson of my life.

  I came awake slowly, murmuring her name and reaching for her. An unexplainable energy flowed through me. I honestly couldn’t remember ever feeling this happy. Last night...wow. Last night had honestly been the best night of my life, and it was all because of the woman lying beside me. I smiled, giddy beyond words and already trying to think up a way to keep her here in bed for the rest of the day. To keep her forever.

  I rolled onto my side and into the pillow she’d used, rustling up the wild cherry and jewel orchid smell of her shampoo. But my fingers met with cooled sheets.

  My eyes flashed open. I sat upright in bed, only to find myself alone.

  “Zoey?” I croaked, my voice hoarse and raspy.

  No one answered except my own, lonely echo.

  Panic clutched my throat as reality struck me over the head like a club, reminding me how much alcohol I’d guzzled last night.

  The first night I’d gotten wasted, I had remembered nothing from the night before...nothing until last night. This morning, I remembered everything. Every single detail, every time I woke in the night to take Zoey again, every time she accepted me and let me back into her body. I lost count of how many times we’d come together; after a while, the rounds blurred together until I stopped pulling out and just stayed inside her until I was hard again.

  I’d taken her from behind, underneath, against the headboard, in her mouth. I’d wanted her every way possible, and she’d been willing—so freaking willing and eager—to let me do whatever I wanted.

  “Oh my God.” I clutched my head, my hangover coming on strong as memory after memory flooded me. I hadn’t just taken Zoey’s virginity, I’d completely demolished it.

  Only hours after breaking up with her roommate.

  Ripping the sheets off me, I flew out of bed and found my clothes from last night scattered around the floor. It wasn’t until I was yanking my jeans up that I spotted a feminine-looking piece of pink cloth peeking out from under the bed. I bent to pick it up and unwadded it to find panties in my palm. Zoey’s panties. She’d been in such a rush to escape, she’d left her underwear behind.

  That couldn’t be good. But what really made the dread rise in my gut was seeing my engagement ring for Cora sitting on my nightstand.

  “No, no, no,” I chanted as I shoved my feet into the first two shoes I found. They totally didn’t match, but I had a left shoe on my left foot and a right shoe on my right foot, so that was good enough for me. I tucked her panties in my pocket and raced for the door.

  Okay, fine, I smelled them before slipping them out of sight. And they smelled exactly how I remembered her. My mouth watered, detecting the taste of her divine nectar. When my cock hardened, I muttered, “Stupid pecker.”

  If my drunken hormones had just lost me my friendship with Zoey, I would never forgive myself.

  I drove to her apartment. I didn’t even think. I just had to see her. Had to make sure she was okay.

  Noel texted me on my way over. Twice. I ignored his messages until I parked in the parking garage of Zoey’s building. When I opened his message, I was reminded I was late for practice.

  You’re coming to practice, right?

  I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to think about football right now. And I didn’t particularly want to see Ten, who would be there.

  Man, you HAVE to come to practice, Noel wrote in his next text. Coach won’t let you start the next game if you don’t.

  A minute later, he tried again. Ten just covered for you. He fed coach a big lie about how sick you are.

  Good. Ten better have covered for me. He owed me that much at least. I had thought Noel would leave me alone then, but he didn’t.

  You’re going to forgive him, right? It’s TEN! You HAVE to forgive him. The guy’s driving me nuts with how worried he is.

  “Yeah, and you’re driving me nuts,” I muttered aloud, finally punching in my response. It felt strange to type a curse word, but I didn’t regret it in the least. Did you fuck Cora too?

  Noel’s response was immediate. WHAT? NO! GOD no.

  That was all I needed to see. I shut my phone off and slid it into my pocket, the same pocket with Zoey’s panties. The soft cotton brushed against my knuckles and I shuddered, remembering when I’d slid them down her legs and had my first look at her completely naked.

  I looked up just in time to see Terrance opening the door to her building. When Zoey stepped outside, I sucked in a breath and climbed from my truck. She was so beautiful. I still couldn’t believe I’d been inside her just hours ago. I’d seen her naked and touched her. Licked her. Loved every freaking inch of her. My hormones buzzed with awareness, even as I shook my head, unable to believe we’d actually done everything we’d done.

  She wore her hair down this morning, which worried me since she was always big on ponytails. Plus she had on her glasses, which she never wore when she left her apartment. The wind blew her hair in her face and she pushed it out of her eyes in her usual Zoey way. My chest filled with pressure, with possessiveness. She was mine. Only I had ever done to her the things we’d done last night. As wrong as I knew I was for sleeping with her only hours after breaking up with her best friend, I couldn’t stop the perverse satisfaction that bubbled up my throat. No matter what happened, a part of her would always belong to me. I’d been her first.

  As if feeling my eyes on her—I loved how she seemed to know I was watching her—she looked over and saw me. She slowed to a stop, so I stepped away from my truck to go to her. Her lips parted and her eyes widened. I couldn’t tell if she was happy or horrified to see me. But I was about to find out. I had to talk to her.

  It was impossible to take my eyes off her; that was probably why I completely missed who exited the door behind her.

&nbs
p; “Quinn?” Cora’s voice stopped me cold in my tracks.

  I met my ex-girlfriend’s gaze and panicked. Crap, why hadn’t I even thought about her when I’d raced over here?

  Hope sparked across her face. I gritted my teeth and shook my head. Slinking a step back, I scowled at Cora.

  She began to rush toward me, but I couldn’t talk to her. Not yet. Maybe not ever. I spun around and hurried off, slamming my door in my hurry to escape.

  Cora reached my truck about the time I cranked the engine. She tried to open the door, but I’d already locked it. Scowling at me, she pounded on the window.

  “Quinn. Damn it, talk to me.”

  My head was still swimming with all the filthy words I’d read on her phone, every intimate detail she’d written to other men, so I did something I’d never done before. I flipped her off and gunned the gas, backing out of my spot.

  Mad because she’d tried to talk to me, because she’d prevented me from checking on Zoey, because she was still breathing, I drove blindly for a couple minutes, until I realized I needed a destination. I needed a plan. But I didn’t know where to go or what to do.

  Attending practice started to sound good. What better place to unleash some of the anger and anxiety gushing through me? I could tackle and hurt, and get hurt. I craved that.

  But I wasn’t ready to face Ten again. Not just yet.

  So I found myself at Forbidden.

  Asher was on the stage, rearranging microphones and preparing for the second night of karaoke. It seemed strange that my double date with Zoey and Ten had only been a week ago. I’d taken my first swallow of alcohol, I’d nearly kissed Zoey, I’d spent the rest of the night with Cora, and then I had bought her a ring and tried to propose to her. All of that within seven days, and I’d still found enough time to squeeze in completely shattering Zoey Blakeland’s innocence.

  Feeling sick to my stomach and still rocking a hefty hangover, I glanced around the quiet club. “Is Pick around?”