Forgotten

by Lyn Lowe

  She patted his other arm lightly. “You’ve had a rough time. I’ll let it slide. But I do need you to lie down.”

  Kaie hesitated a moment, not really sure why he was so reluctant. This woman was clearly not intending to hurt him. But his nerves were raw and his heart was pounding. She stood over him, waiting patiently. After a few deep breaths, he did as she asked. He was tensed, ready to roll out of his cot, but he let her do her work.

  Her fingers brushed across his nose, sending a fire of pain through his face, but they quickly moved to his cheeks. Again, he flinched at the touch, though this time it he could at least blame it on the pain.

  “Do you want any more ointment for your eyes?”

  Kaie scowled, regretting the expression even before he finished it. “Is that why I can’t see?”

  She chuckled. “I believe it might be part of the problem, yes. Though I doubt the black eyes are helping much either. I can remove it. If you promise to quit rubbing at them.”

  “I guess I can do that,” Kaie conceded, just as eager to get her away as he was to be able to see clearly again. She patted his cheek, almost affectionately, then reached down to the side of the cot. A second later, she pressed a cold wet cloth to his temple. She stopped for a moment, almost like she was waiting for him to object, then she dragged it over his right eye.

  The cold was so nice, Kaie couldn’t help the sigh. She wiped it gently, then moved to the other eye. He sighed again, relieved to be free of pain he only noticed now that it was fading.

  Kaie opened his eyes slowly. Details came into focus. The doctor, a rather plain looking woman with brown eyes and a pink stripe of sunburn across the bridge of her nose, smiled down at him. He returned the expression out of habit.

  “I’m in the hospital, right? The house the Huduku gave us for treating our sick and wounded?”

  She nodded and tucked a strand of her long brown hair behind her ear, twisting the end around her finger just a bit. The gesture made her seem very young.

  “How long have I been here?”

  “About four days. This will be the fifth. Your eyes are much better. I can actually see them now. They’re pretty. I’ve never seen any that dark a green before.”

  “Uh, thanks.” Four days. Five. All the things the man did to him left him unconscious for five days.

  His stomach lurched. Kaie his head away from the doctor, to the other side of the cot, just in time to vomit all over the floor.

  Cool fingers ran through his hair. They kept stroking as a broken sob followed the bile. Burning tears spilled from his pretty green eyes, and more sobs echoed the first. He tried to stop, to hold them back, but they came out regardless.

  “Shh,” she murmured. “This was the worst of it. The rest, it’s healed. Do you understand? I kept you asleep for the worst of it, and now that’s passed. There won’t be any other scaring, no loss of feeling. The bruises are already fading. I can send you back to the Ninth Rit this evening.”

  “No! Please, let me stay here,” he pleaded between sobs.

  She stopped stroking his head for just a minute, let out a slow sigh, then resumed again. “I know he hurt you bad this time. Worse than anyone should be hurt. But I have to send you back. Besides, you’ve been with him for two years and you’ve never ended up here before. So he’s not the worst. He might not hurt you again.”

  He rubbed at his eyes, despite his promise not to, and sniffled as he wiped the snot from his nose on the back of his hand. Then he turned back over again so that he could see her face. More importantly, so that she could see his. “He will,” Kaie said. “I promise you, he will.”

  Her eyes took on a shiny look, like she was fighting back tears, then she turned them away. “I’m sorry. You belong to him.”

  He caught the end of the Aulis in his right hand and, for a moment, he seriously considered yanking on it until the damn thing snapped. It wouldn’t break. Just like it didn’t before. He knew the feeling too well now, knew all the horrible ways that feeling could be used to make him weak. He never wanted it again. Not even for this.

  “I’m not asking you for forever,” he said at last. “I won’t. I know you can’t go against him. Just please, not tonight. Give me tonight.”

  The corner of her mouth turned up in a shaky version of her earlier smile, but she turned her eyes back to his. “I guess your arm could use another day or two of observation. But that’s all I can do.”

  “I understand,” Kaie said. “It’s enough.”

  Her smile gained some strength. “Okay then. I suppose I should clean up this mess. You should get some sleep.”

  “I’m not tired,” he told her, sniffing again.

  “No?” She smiled and stood up before he could answer. She came back a moment later with a bucket and more rags. Kaie intended to offer help, or at least to apologize for the mess. But instead, almost the same moment she knelt down beside the cot, his eyes fell closed and he was asleep again.

  The next time he opened his eyes, it was dark again. At first, he didn’t know why he was up, only that something woke him. He tried to will his thundering heartbeat back to normal. It was a struggle, keeping his breathing even and his body still while he waited. Thankfully, it wasn’t long.

  There wasn’t any reason to suspect it was Gregor, pacing in the shadows of the hospital. But Kaie knew it was. Even before the whispers.

  “I don’t know why I keep coming here. Maybe I’m hoping you won’t be here. That you’ll run and die out alone in that damn desert. That I won’t ever have to set eyes on you again.”

  Kaie was shaking. He controlling it, keeping it small, but it was getting harder. He didn’t know if it was anger or fear that did it. He wasn’t sure it mattered.

  “I’m sorry this was done to you. You’ll never believe it, but I am. But I’d do it again. Gods help me, for her I’d do it a million times. Her being one of those things, being locked up in that place…”

  The Rit dropped down on another cot, still far enough away that he was little more than an shadow, and let out a bitter laugh. Kaie nearly jumped at the sound. It was so alien in this place, to this man, too loud and angry and defeated.

  “I didn’t give you to that man to punish you. I enjoyed that part of it, I won’t pretend I didn’t, but that wasn’t my reason. You won’t believe that either.” Gregor sighed. “I have to protect her. I know it’s not her anymore. I know it. But I can’t let him do this to her. He claimed her before I even knew. I begged him, offered him anything he wanted.”

  Gregor let loose another of those unnerving laughs. Kaie watched the shadow out of the corner of his eye, every second a struggle not to launch himself out of the cot. He didn’t know if he would run for the door, or throw himself at the Rit in a fury. Either one was wrong. Stupid. He was weak and injured. He would fail. He wanted to move, though. So badly it almost overwhelmed his better sense.

  “You’d be surprised how well that man can communicate. No, actually, you wouldn’t be, would you? You probably figured him out the moment you first saw him. But I was surprised. And he made it very clear: he wouldn’t hurt what was his, so long as I gave him something of mine. And I… I don’t have anything but you.”

  Kaie was startled by the sounds that came next. At first, he thought he was mistaken, but the more time that passed the more certain he became. Gregor was crying. Sobbing.

  “It was so clear once,” the Rit gasped. “Our world is so damn gray. But this, this was clear as any crystal. My great rebellion. Freeing my men, saving Hudukul, maybe even all of Jorander, from the great empirical monster at its door. Now it’s all so… tainted.”

  Gregor cried quietly for a while longer. Kaie listened. When the Rit finally pulled the mask back on and stood, he was relieved. This glimpse, this insight, it was worse than anything else Gregor did to him.

  “I wish I could hate you,” the Rit whispered as he faded even deeper into the shadows of the hospital. “Part of me does. But it’s not enough. It’s not pure. Nothin
g is pure anymore.”

  Twenty-One

  “Do you have any peppermint?”

  Two years, five months, four days and a bit over two hours since he last heard that voice in person. 7,975,296 seconds. Or, Kaie corrected hastily, nine days. He couldn’t forget about the five he lost to Gregor’s bargain. That brought it closer to 8,407,296 seconds. Give or take a few thousand. Still, he knew it. Knew it well enough that it didn’t matter how low it was. Maybe if he didn’t remember that dream, or if the boy wasn’t on his thoughts so often lately, Kaie might not remember it instantly. But he did, and he was, so he knew.

  “Peppermint? Headache?”

  “No,” the boy answered, his voice dropping an octave. “It’s for my Master. His bowels have been distressed since we left Lindel.”

  “Hm. I see. I’m afraid I don’t have much. The soil here isn’t great for growing, and it’s far too dry. My harvests are rather small. I used most of my last batch to make a medicine for the migraines that have been plaguing the Ninth Rit this past week. But you are welcome to what I have left.”

  “Thank you Mistress.”

  “I’m no mistress. I haven’t even paid the Family price yet. You can call me Doctor, if you want. Or, better, Alex.”

  Kaie could almost imagine the smile on the boy’s face. Soft and meek, almost pathetic enough to believe the kid was nothing but the proper little slave.

  “Vaughan?”

  He didn’t mean to call out, not really. Whatever Vaughan was doing here, Kaie knew he couldn’t help the boy. He couldn’t even help himself. But he couldn’t let the one connection to his life before slip away. Not yet.

  The hospital grew quiet, and for a second Kaie thought he was wrong. Or that he scared the kid off. But, just as despair was taking hold, the slumped, spindly figure appeared in his room.

  “It’s Kale,” he said quickly, hoping the man was quick enough to figure out the game. “Do you remember me? We met when my father took sick, and Lady Autumnsong offered your services?”

  Vaughan’s watery eyes blinked, but he nodded. “Yes. Kale.” He turned, and Kaie saw that the doctor was right on his heels. “Forgive me, Alex. But do you think…”

  Her eyes shifted between them slowly. Kaie was afraid she was on to their lie, but after a moment she nodded. “Sure. I don’t see the harm in a visitor. Just see that you don’t let him move around too much. And don’t give him anything. I’m not saying you don’t know your craft, but I do know mine. I won’t have my treatment compromised because I don’t know what herbs he’s been taking.”

  Vaughan tilted his head in acknowledgement. “You have my word.”

  That settled, the doctor sent him one last glance, then vanished back into whatever lay beyond the shadow of Kaie’s doorway. Vaughan waited a few moments longer before dropping down to his side.

  The boy’s face split into a huge grin.

  “Mian corre nia tuloak! Nia tu horinda balla! Alive! Alive, and here with me like the Jhoda itself summoned you! Mia lo novara miam sant yah tuloak! What in the Abyss are you doing here, Bruhani?”

  Kaie smiled, a sharp pain informing him that his nose wasn’t the only part of his face still recovering from the abuse it took. It wasn’t his first split lip, and it didn’t feel like a bad one, but it didn’t help his mood any. “I could ask you the same, but I’m going to guess you arrived with Lady Autumnsong and her son.”

  Vaughan nodded, eyes wide as though surprised by Kaie’s simple deduction. “Peren too.”

  Kaie’s breath caught on a knot in his throat. His eyes misted as the panic rose in his chest. He didn’t want to think about her. She didn’t belong here, in this awful city of vipers. She couldn’t be here.

  “Keegan?” He squawked, his voice unrecognizable.

  Vaughan dropped his head. “Gone.”

  Kaie sat up so suddenly his head swam. Giving it no attention, he reached out for Vaughan’s shirt with his right hand, only noticing the boy still wore the one-shouldered attire of a Lindel slave in as much as it gave less fabric for him to hold on to. “What do you mean gone?”

  Vaughan made no effort to fight loose of his hold. He didn’t meet Kaie’s eyes either, though. “He’s safe. As safe as possible, I mean. He’s hidden. I was… not there when it happened. I know what I promised, but Lord Peter took me with him to Shibad. I couldn’t do anything to stop it! And when I came back… I’m sorry, Bruhani. I failed you.”

  “You said he’s safe?”

  Vaughan nodded. “Peren wouldn’t let him go otherwise. She won’t tell me what happened, or where she sent him. She… I think she expects you to go rescue him. The way she talks about you… It’s like you’ve only been gone a few days.”

  He didn’t know how to feel about that. Kaie spent so much of every day trying to forget her. “Why is she here?”

  The boy hesitated. “She was… taken into the Lady Autumnsong’s care. That happened while I was away, too. I’ll send her here. She’ll want to see you.”

  “No!” Kaie startled himself with the vehemence in the word. Vaughan’s eyes lifted to his, and the kid’s brows knit. “I don’t want her to see me like this,” he covered quickly.

  Vaughan relaxed, almost smiled, and gently removed his shirt from Kaie’s grasp. “You won’t have much luck stopping that. Once she knows you’re here, nothing will stop my sister from finding you.”

  Kaie knew he was supposed to smile, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Silence stretched between them past the point of discomfort.

  Vaughan was right. She was here, and she would find him. It would be real, not one of the fantasies he only let himself think about as he drifted off to sleep each night. She would look at him, with those spooky eyes of hers, and see right through him. She would see what they did to him, what he let them do to him, and she would turn away. Maybe she would cry, cry for the man he was when he left her.

  That was, quite suddenly, unacceptable. For the first time since waking up in the hospital, Kaie was absolutely certain how he felt about what happened, and knew what he was going to do about it.

  “So what are you doing here?” Vaughan asked again.

  “Working on my whittling. It’s a hospital. What the fuck do you think I’m doing?” Kaie snapped. He scratched at the cut in his lip absently, sorting out all the elements that would need to be aligned in order for his plan to be remotely feasible. “Where are you? In the city, I mean. If I wanted to find you, where would I look?”

  Vaughan did a very convincing impression of an owl, his eyes as wide as bowls. “Lord Peter is staying with Lady Autumnsong in some politician’s manor.”

  “Councilor Losen. I heard.”

  “You… You heard? How?”

  “That doesn’t matter.” It was possible he was being unfair to Vaughan. It didn’t matter. All that mattered now was the plan. “I don’t know where it is.”

  “It’s just north the merchant’s district, on the waterfront.”

  He nodded. He could find that. Maybe. He didn’t actually know where the merchant district was. But he could probably find the waterfront. He found the barracks, after all. “And you’ll be there? If I come for you in the next day, that’s where I’ll find you?”

  “Yes,” Vaughan answered slowly. He glanced around the room, as if he was looking around for someone who might overhear their conversation. “Are you going to tell me why you’re asking?”

  “No.” Peren was a problem. But he couldn’t leave her. Not with the city about to explode in a rebellion. “Is she staying there too?”

  “Yes, of course.” Vaughan didn’t need to ask who he meant. The man’s mouth worked as if he was chewing on something. “You’re not going to hurt her again, are you?”

  Kaie turned his head to the ceiling and dropped back down on the cot. “I don’t know. I never wanted to hurt her at all.”

  Vaughan’s hand dropped on his arm. Kaie jerked away from the touch so violently the cot almost tipped over. Remembering the pain from last tim
e, he quickly moved to set it to rights.

  “Sorry,” Vaughan murmured, sounding for all the world like a kicked puppy. “It just… it looks like you’re hurting. I can help.”

  “I am,” Kaie answered. He pressed his lips together. He didn’t want the thought of being touched to fill him with dread. That wasn’t normal, and he desperately wanted to be normal. With a deep breath he nodded. “Do it.”

  He held his body rigid. A tingling warmth spread out from beneath the boy’s fingers. At first it felt nice, pleasurable even. Then it became insistent, like the prickles in his leg when it fell asleep and feeling started returning. His arm, especially, seemed to be a focus for the sensation. It grew even more intense. A second later, it was the pain of the break all over again. Kaie could feel the boot pressing down on his arm. He tried to cry out, to bring the doctor barreling into room to put a stop to the whole thing, but his voice was gone. All that came out of his open mouth was a strangled puff of air. Then, quickly as it started, it was done.

  Kaie sucked in a deep breath, surprised to discover that there wasn’t even a twinge of pain in his nose or his arm. He lifted his hand to his face, finding even his lip repaired. Hardly daring to hope, he sat up again and unwrapped the dressing around his side – using both hands ably – afraid to see the scars. Except there were no scars at all. The skin there, in between patches of green gook, was pink and new and utterly unmarked by the slightest blemish.

  “Gods…” he gasped.

  Vaughan ducked his head again. “I tried not to do too much… I knew I shouldn’t, with that woman caring for you. Especially not your face. But the Jhoda knows, I couldn’t stand to see you like that. It won’t… she’ll know what I did.”

  Kaie grinned and let out a breathy laugh. He was tempted to hug the slender man. “Thank you.”

  Vaughan smiled again, his eyes dancing. “Vishanu asa lo tuloak. I’m glad I could help.” His mouth began moving again, just as before, in the chewing gesture. It didn’t last as long this time. “What else can I do?”