The Road That Leads to Us

by Micalea Smeltzer

  Her hands left my shirt and wound around my neck, the movement causing her breasts to push into my chest.

  I picked her up and her legs went around my waist. I pushed her back against the nearest wall, angling my mouth over hers. Her breaths came out in soft little pants that I couldn’t get enough of.

  She tugged on my hair and I growled, kissing her harder.

  I didn’t know how to stop.

  I didn’t want to.

  But I knew we needed to.

  I wrenched my mouth away, burying my head into the crook of her neck. Her chest rose and fell harshly with each desperate breath. My own breaths were sharp and scattered with no seeming rhythm. My thoughts were just as scattered.

  Willow.

  Lips.

  Skin.

  That was about as much as my brain could process at the moment.

  I kept a careful hold on Willow and she slowly lowered her legs to the floor. If I wasn’t mistaken I swore there was a slight tremble to her limbs.

  Moving my hands up her sides, over her breasts and neck, I finally captured her chin in my hand.

  “I love you,” I whispered, wanting her to hear the words.

  To feel them.

  Her eyes closed and she wrapped her arms around me, her head landing on my chest as she hugged me.

  “I love you too.” Her voice was muffled against my shirt. “A love like ours feels too big to comprehend.”

  I ducked my head, brushing her hair over her shoulder. “The best things in life aren’t meant to be understood.”

  She nodded at this and took a step back.

  Her hair was a wild blonde nest around her head. If I looked hard enough I was sure I could find a twig and maybe a bird or two.

  Despite that, she was still the most beautiful girl in the world to me.

  I loved her imperfections, her flaws, as much as everything else. Every little bit that made Willow uniquely her was something to be loved and cherished.

  “Wanna watch a movie?” She asked me, smiling brightly.

  I was a bit startled by the sudden subject change, but I nodded.

  She ran towards the family room and instead of going around the couch she jumped over the back of it, landing with a thump on the cushions. She then rolled off onto the floor and ran towards the TV, sliding in her socks when she’d almost reached it, and dropped to the floor.

  Watching a movie was an Olympic sport for Willow.

  She opened the cabinet beneath the TV and began rifling through the DVDs Liam had. I left her to it and went in search of microwave popcorn.

  Once I had the popcorn popping I snuck upstairs while Willow was occupied and rifled through my duffle bag, smiling in glee when I found the stash of blue-raspberry lollipops I had stuffed in the pocket.

  I closed my hand around them and tiptoed my way downstairs and back into the kitchen where I dumped the finished popcorn into a large mixing bowl.

  When I walked into the family room, Willow cried, “He has ‘Beetlejuice’!”

  Her excitement was palpable. I knew it was her favorite movie—one we’d watched many times growing up.

  I took a seat on the couch, propping my legs up on the smooth leather ottoman. “’Beetlejuice’ it is.” I stuck a handful of popcorn in my mouth while she started the movie.

  Once it was on she barreled onto the couch beside me, nearly knocking the popcorn on the ground in the process.

  “Sorry.” She smiled regretfully and grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch, using it to cover the both of us.

  “I got something for you,” I told her.

  She bounced up and down. “Ooh, ooh! What is it?”

  I lifted my hands that held the lollipops and dropped them onto her lap.

  “Yes!” She cried. “I thought I was out of blue-raspberry!”

  I shrugged. “I got another pack a few days ago and stashed these in my bag. I still have the other flavors in there somewhere.”

  “You’re the Lollipop King!” She smacked a loud kiss against my cheek.

  “At least that’s better than Hot Buns,” I muttered under my breath.

  “Oh! Hot Buns! How could I forget?!” She stuck one of the lollipops in her mouth. “Hot Buns, Hot Buns, his buns are very hot!” She sang, even incorporating some kind of dance.

  You know the kid’s book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie? Well, I was going to write If You Give Willow a Lollipop All Hell Breaks Loose.

  Or in this case, she makes up a really bad song about your buns.

  She continued with the little tune until the previews stopped and the movie started.

  I should’ve never reminded her of the ridiculous nickname.

  Once the movie began playing she wiggled around trying to get comfortable.

  Huffing in exasperation she finally moved the bowl of popcorn off my lap onto the opposite side of the couch. She then grabbed one of the plain throw pillows and put it on my lap before lying down.

  “Comfy?” I asked her, suppressing a laugh.

  She rolled onto her back and blinked up at me. “Yep.” She grinned.

  I shook my head and settled back to watch the movie.

  Having Willow this close it was impossible not to touch her. I traced the features on her face, starting with the straight slope of her nose, the arch of her brows, and finally her full lips. When that wasn’t enough I moved on to stroking my fingers through her hair.

  She hummed at the feel of it.

  “If you keep that up I’ll fall asleep.”

  Staring at the TV I cracked a smile. “Maybe that’s my plan. You can’t be a menace when you’re sleeping.”

  “Hey!” She defended. “I’m not a menace.”

  “Of course you don’t think you are. You don’t have to deal with yourself.”

  She pouted out her bottom lip but soon broke into laughter.

  I loved that I’d found someone I could laugh so easily with.

  We both jumped slightly when the door leading in from the garage slammed closed.

  The sound of Liam’s sneakers slapping against the floor met our ears.

  “I hope you guys plan to stay for a few more days because I got enough food to last us a month!” He called and we heard the sound of bags rustling as he set them on the counter.

  “We should go help him,” I told Willow.

  I hated to move, but I knew it wouldn’t be right for us to sit here while he unloaded the groceries.

  Willow nodded and sat up, swinging her legs around to the floor.

  She took my hand and together we stepped into the kitchen.

  Liam glanced down at our joined hands but didn’t make a face or say something slurry. He was trying, and I guessed he deserved credit for that.

  The three of us made quick work of putting the groceries away—however, Willow and I might’ve been putting things in the wrong spot.

  “We’re watching ‘Beetlejuice’ if you want to join us,” Willow told Liam when the last of the groceries were put away.

  “No thanks.” He shook his head. “I’m going to hang out in my darkroom for a while before I make dinner. Enjoy your movie.”

  With a wan smile, he passed us and headed down the hall to the room. A moment later we heard the door click shut and locked.

  “Darkroom?” I asked Willow. “People still do that?”

  She lifted one slender shoulder in a shrug. “Liam does,” she said those two words like they explained everything. Maybe they did.

  The rest of the day passed relatively peacefully. We finished the movie, ate dinner with Liam, and went to bed regretfully alone.

  That is, until Willow snuck into my bed around two in the morning.

  At last, I could finally rest.

  Willow

  I rolled over, laying my hand on Dean’s chest and burrowing my head in the crook of his neck. He reached up and pulled his fingers through my hair. Outside the bedroom windows we could hear the roar of the ocean lapping against the sand.

 
“Liam’s going to kill us if he finds you here,” Dean warned, but he made no move to kick me out of his bed.

  I’d snuck in a few hours ago and we’d both fallen right to sleep, but now we were up, watching the sun rise and bathe the room in hues of navy and orange.

  “I don’t care.”

  I felt that after yesterday on the boat Liam had become more understanding of my relationship with Dean. I knew it was a shock for him and he needed a moment to adjust.

  “It’s beautiful here,” I said softly after a moment. “I can see why Liam wanted to move here.”

  Dean’s fingers glided over my back and I shivered.

  “What got Liam into surfing?” He asked, his fingers still on their trail. “I don’t remember.”

  “The whole band had to be in L.A. for the summer when we were ten and that’s when he learned. I did too, but I never had a passion for it.” I curled my body closer to his.

  “You can surf?” He sounded surprised.

  I nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I’m not pro-level by any means, but I can do it.”

  “Wow,” Dean grinned at this information, “something I don’t know about you.”

  “I guess it’s rare for us not to know stuff about each other, isn’t it?” I laughed.

  “It is…” He agreed. “What’s my favorite color?”

  “Red.” I glanced up in time to see his pleased smile. “Mine?” I prompted.

  “Yellow and green because you refuse to pick just one,” he replied.

  “Exactly,” I nodded, “it’s an injustice to have to choose between two perfect colors.”

  “What’s my favorite song?” He asked this time.

  I rolled my eyes. “The ridiculous original Pokémon theme song.”

  “It’s not ridiculous!” He cried a moment before rolling over and pinning me to the bed. He held my arms above my head and I playfully tried to get away, but he held tight. “Take it back, Willow. It’s the best song ever written.”

  “Never!” I cried, bucking my hips against his.

  “Dissing Pokémon is a sin.” He twisted his lips, trying to feign an angry expression, but he kept breaking out in a grin.

  “Guess I’m a sinner then,” I breathed, staring at his lips.

  “Fuck it,” he cursed, crashing his lips to mine.

  We became a wild tangle—a clash of lips and teeth and moans and words we couldn’t even comprehend.

  He tilted my head back, angling his mouth over mine, completely devouring me.

  And I welcomed it.

  I felt like we’d had to be so careful, so we didn’t upset Liam and in turn bring down the wrath of my dad upon us, but in that time the heat had been building between us.

  Simmering.

  Boiling.

  And now bubbling over.

  His hands skimmed under my shirt—his touch tentative.

  I didn’t do tentative.

  I reached down and pulled my shirt off, leaving me bare underneath.

  He stared down at me. “Maybe I wanted to do that.”

  I clasped my hands around his neck, drawing his lips back to mine. “Too late.”

  A growl rumbled in his chest and his kiss was fierce. He wasn’t holding back.

  This was nothing like the first time. We were too starved and began ripping madly at our remaining clothes.

  My fingers clawed at his back when he pushed inside me.

  He held my hands captive above my head in a rare show of dominance.

  But I loved seeing him come undone.

  Eventually everything else faded and it was only the two of us.

  Nothing else mattered.

  ***

  Liam glared at me from across the kitchen table, his spoon clanking against the glass bowl, but he made no move to raise it to his lips.

  I knew I looked like a mess.

  My hair was a wild disarray and my face was red from the scratch of Dean’s stubble.

  Clank.

  Clank.

  Clank.

  He continued to move the spoon around the bowl, but his eyes never lowered from mine.

  Dean was taking a shower, so at the moment he was free of my cousin’s wrath.

  “Are you going to say something?” I finally asked when I couldn’t take another moment of that awful sound.

  “Nope. I’m just going to sit here and hope my disapproval sinks through that stubborn brain of yours.”

  “Liam,” I glared right back, “you’re being ridiculous.”

  He raised a brow, urging me to explain.

  “You’re also a hypocrite,” I continued.

  His brows inched impossibly higher.

  “You act as if I’m some virgin that needs to be locked away in a tower for all of eternity.”

  “That sounds like a great idea.” His voice was bland with no emotion.

  “Only, I’m not a virgin.”

  He tossed his head back and let out a loud groan.

  “And Dean wasn’t my first.”

  “Shut up.” He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. “I get it, okay?” He lowered his hands. “You can do what you want. I’m not a saint either. But as your self-imposed big brother I feel it’s my duty to hate any guy you date, but this is Dean. I might not be that close to him, but he’s still a friend, and a good guy, but it’s really fucking—”

  “Weird,” I finished for him. “I know.” I spun the saltshaker that sat on the middle of the table. “But I love him, and he’s not going anywhere, so you need to get used to it. I’m an adult.” Laughing, I said, “I know I don’t act like it most of the time, but I am, and I can be responsible…sometimes.”

  Liam nodded at this, a lock of dark hair falling across his eyes. He flicked it away hastily, like it was an annoying fly he wanted gone.

  He took a deep breath, and thankfully changed the subject. “What do you want to do today?”

  Glancing out the window at the bright shining sun, there was only one answer. “Go to the beach.”

  Liam tapped his hand against the table in an uneven beat—my dad would be appalled—and nodded. “Sounds good. That’s what I do most days anyway.”

  “Do you get lonely here?”

  Liam startled at my sudden question, his eyes widening in surprise.

  I looked around the pristine empty space. His home was large, and so…empty. Yes, it was filled with furniture and odd knick-knacks from his travels, but there was something about it that was cold. It lacked a heart.

  “No,” he answered. “I like being alone.”

  I sighed. “Liam, I worry about you,” I whispered, hating to give voice to the words. “I don’t want to see you shut yourself away from the world and only emerge when a wave beckons you. Is it really that hard to show people who you are?”

  Liam lowered his head, shaking it back and forth slowly as he stared into the depths of his cereal bowl. “People don’t want to know the real me. They want to imagine me in their own way.”

  “Because you never give them the chance.”

  He raised his head and stared out the window behind me. “Why should I? They’re all a bunch of nosy fucks anyway. Is it not my right to keep some things to myself?”

  “You keep everything!” I cried, smacking my hands against the table so hard that my palms burned from the impact. “I hate it too, you know! But you can’t avoid life because you don’t want people to get to know you. You’re so afraid that they’re going to take something from you that you can’t see that they already have.”

  I stood hastily and grabbed his bowl of cereal.

  He looked up just as I poured it on his head.

  The milk coated his inky hair and dripped down his face and chest.

  His eyes were wide with shock, his mouth hanging open.

  Setting the bowl back down in the same spot I grabbed it from, I said in a steely tone, “Go take a shower, Liam, it’s the best place to think.”

  With that I turned and walked off, crossing my arms in front of my bod
y like I was trying to hold myself together.

  I came here because I missed Liam.

  My cousin.

  My unofficial big brother.

  And instead I found a stranger.

  Dean

  I stepped out of the bathroom, the white towel hanging low on my hips, to find Willow sitting on the edge of the bed.

  Her arms were wrapped around her body like she was hugging herself.

  Her head hung low, her wild blonde hair hiding her face from me.

  “Willow?” I said softly, afraid I’d scare her.

  She lifted her head slowly and I saw unshed tears in her eyes. She clenched her teeth in an effort to keep them at bay.

  “Who is that guy?” She pointed at the closed bedroom door. “Because he is not my cousin.”

  I sat down beside her on the bed and wrapped my arms around her body. She leaned into me, pressing her face into my bare chest.

  “He is,” I whispered, brushing her hair away from her face.

  “No,” she shook her head, her voice hoarse, “he’s not.” Sniffling, she added, “He’s always been quiet and quick to anger. I know that. But there’s something so distant about him.”

  “People change,” I reasoned, rubbing my hand in soothing circles along her back.

  “Not that much.” She sat up, extracting herself from me, and rubbed her hands against her face. Her eyes flicked over my body and she let out a small humorless laugh. “I’m so upset I can’t even enjoy the sight of you in a towel.”

  I chuckled and gently held her by the neck, pulling her close enough that I could press my lips to her forehead.

  She stood then, smoothing her hands down the cotton of her shorts in a nervous gesture. “I’m going to change. I told Liam I wanted to hang out on the beach today.”

  I nodded at this, watching as she left the room with sagging shoulders.

  The door clicked closed behind her and I dressed in a hurry, choosing to only wear my swim trunks, and hurried downstairs hoping I’d beat Willow. The last thing I wanted was for her to talk to Liam again and get any more upset. At least if I was there I could act as a buffer.

  I spotted Liam sitting out back in an Adirondack chair. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and stepped outside into the blazing hot California sun. Liam’s shoulders tightened at the sound of the door, but he didn’t turn to look.