Empty Heart

by Al K. Line

  I watched as it grabbed a nut and began to nibble. Normally, they were timid and would dart for cover, but this was one brave little dude.

  Something wasn't right though. The more I studied the creature the odder it seemed. Its mouth was too big, and I swear it had grown a little so it could eat faster. And there was a wisp of pale blond hair on its head, a streak running front to back. That wasn't normal, was it?

  "Sunshine?" I asked, squatting to get more on her level.

  The creature's ears pricked up, it stared into my eyes, and then it ran away, straight into a bale. Stunned, it shook its head then leaped up onto the top and ran around the edge of the room.

  "Wait, it's me, Arthur. I'm not cross, and I'm sorry about what I said. Come home, come and get warm, have something to eat. Everyone's worried about you."

  For a moment the mouse seemed to consider my words then it darted down the back of the bales and next thing I knew it squeezed under the gap in the barn doors and was gone.

  "Goddammit."

  Gotta Try

  I knew it was pointless, but I did it anyway, as that's what you do when you want to feel like you gave things your best shot even though you understand you've already lost. I ran after her, flung a door open and bolted outside to catch a tiny mouse in a huge field.

  Of course, she was nowhere to be seen, so I resorted to getting down on my hands and knees and running my hand over the grass while I called her name. Nothing, not even the moving of grass to signify her passage. She could be right next to me and I wouldn't see her, so I checked some more, just in case she was, but she wasn't.

  I shouted her name, I said I was sorry, and I moved carefully for fear of squashing her tiny form. Nope, she'd scarpered. The grassy field was long and overgrown, left that way on purpose so the place had an air of the abandoned to it, making it the perfect place to hide. For a while, I wandered around calling to her, promising not to shout, telling her again that I wasn't mad, but it was an exercise in futility.

  Not wanting to be outsmarted, and being rather stubborn, not to mention wily, I huffed loudly then went back into the barn and slammed the door shut. Quick as I could, I ran to the back and opened a small door and snuck around the side of the building as quietly as the mouse I was searching for. At the corner, I stood still and breathed slowly and silently, watching and waiting for any sign of movement. Damn but it was cold, and wet, and the sky threatened to unleash a deluge of misery at any moment.

  Distracted by the bleakness, I looked back across the field to see the grass move in a straight line heading down the hill. A tail poked up above the knee-high grass so she had clearly changed form, maybe into a cat. The tail swished fast as the creature streaked away so I gave chase, no point trying to hide as she obviously wasn't going to suddenly change her mind and come inside with me.

  The animal turned to glance at me, the large eyes of a peculiar looking cat locked on mine for a moment then it darted away into the undergrowth and out of sight once more.

  "I'll get her," came a voice from nowhere, making my head spin and my system go into instant high-alert.

  "It's me, you idiot. Wand," said the sentient stick in my pocket.

  "Oh, good. Thought I was being haunted or something," I said, relieved. "I forget you're there sometimes."

  "I know, and it's no fun being stuck in the dark. And before you say anything," said Wand hurriedly, "yes, I know I don't have eyes, and yes, I know I should be able to see the same wherever I am, but it doesn't work like that. If it's dark, if you put me away, then I can't see, okay?"

  "Didn't say a word," I sniggered. "You can stop her?"

  "Sure can," said Wand with utter confidence as I pulled him out and he sparkled with life.

  "Don't hurt her," I warned.

  "Course not, she's practically family."

  "Then go get her." I threw Wand hard in Sunshine's general direction, not that I really knew where she was now, and as the momentum died down Wand straightened out and his tail—yeah, I know, he's a stick—shone fierce red like he was powered up by booster rockets. I sighed, talk about dramatic. I knew as well as he did the light show was just that, a show, that he didn't have to be so OTT, but I guess that's the whole point of magic. Have to be a little bit of a showman now and then as that's what makes it so much fun.

  Wand sped forward then dipped low and tore across the top of the grass leaving a trail in his wake as a fine spray of rain was dislodged from the wet grass.

  He shot skyward before hanging for a moment high above like a bird of prey riding the thermals and then plummeted as though he'd found his mark and was going in for the kill. I knew he wasn't, but it still give me pause as he streaked down like a deadly spear.

  He hit hard and fast, and I ran towards him as a voice called out, "Get off me, you stupid stick. Hey, let me go, let me go."

  Sunshine was curled up in the soaking wet grass, naked and vulnerable, looking tiny and fragile out in the big bad world. Wand had her pinned through one of her hoop earnings, and how she still wore them I still don't know, so her head was stuck tight against the ground, covered in mud and bits of grass.

  "Don't run off, okay?" I asked in my nicest voice.

  "Okay," she agreed, sounding sullen and defeated.

  "Wand, good job but you can let her up now."

  "You sure? I can keep guard if you want?"

  "No, that's fine, but thanks."

  Wand pulled out and I hurriedly put my hand out as he sped towards me. I caught him, or he caught me, then I put him back into my pocket and fastened him away for safety, maybe mine, maybe Sunshine's, certainly not his.

  "You talk to your wand? Does he talk back?" asked Sunshine as she sat up, legs pulled in tight to her chest trying to hide herself.

  "Course he does, otherwise I'd be one of those mad old men who just talks to sticks."

  "Um, I think you are," she said, the hint of a smile on her mischievous face.

  "Yeah, maybe I am. Come on, let's get you warm and dry." I removed my jacket and placed it over her shoulders then turned away and walked back to the barn, wanting to give her privacy while she covered up, sure she wouldn't run away again.

  Luckily, I was right, as no way was I up for more traipsing around in the rain.

  A Chat

  "You okay?" I asked lamely as a waif-like girl sat semi-naked on a bale of straw, shivering so bad her teeth chattered. Her seat was probably making her bum hurt like hell too. I've sat on a bale naked and trust me, you don't wanna try it.

  "Fine," came the morose reply.

  "Why'd you run off like that? I've been looking for you for hours. Feels like days, actually." I rubbed at my face; it felt wrinkled. This girl was aging me fast.

  "Cause I don't want to go back to how it was before, and Dad said we had to leave. He'll lock me up or give me back to all those freaks who think I'm a superhero or something. I just want to be normal. I killed my mum," she suddenly shrieked, then broke down with a fit of tears and sobs that shook her body more than the cold.

  "Hey, don't ever say that. You didn't do it, you didn't want it to happen, it wasn't you." I patted her head, feeling like an idiot, but not knowing what else to do.

  "But maybe I did. Sometimes I wished she was dead, and now she is."

  "Oh, that's all right then," I said breezily. Sunshine looked up at me with her large, pale blue eyes like I'd gone nuts. "All kids wish their parents were dead at some point. Just ask George. Only difference is, I've died loads of times. Not anymore though, I'm out of lives. Next time I die, I've got to actually be Death, which sucks." I think I was blathering as Sunshine looked at me oddly.

  "You're a very weird dude, you know that, right?"

  "Am not, you are."

  There was an awkward silence and then we both burst out laughing.

  "Come on, let's get you home. It's warm in the car," I hinted, wiggling an eyebrow. "And there are clothes at my house, and a lovely kitchen. And hot drinks and food."

  "S'pose." Suns
hine wrapped my jacket tight around her and I helped her into the car. I turned the heater on full whack until it felt like an oven. Condensation steamed up the windows and it smelled like a wet dog was in there with us, but it was just the lingering scent of Sunshine and her many animal forms playing havoc with my senses. What a way to live, how confusing and strange it must be to change into so many creatures and be assaulted by all those different ways of viewing the world. How did she cope? How did any shifter cope, let alone a child who could be anything, look like anything?

  I drove us back to the house; we didn't speak until I pulled up outside the gate.

  "Damn, I forgot about your dad. Have you seen him?"

  "No, I heard him when I ran off but I've been all over the place, went for miles, and haven't seen or heard him since then."

  "Let me call him again." I pulled out my phone and dialed his number. He answered on the second ring.

  "Have you found her?" Steve asked anxiously, so far removed from his usual laconic attitude it was startling.

  "Yes, just now."

  "Is she okay? Is she hurt? Did anyone try to take her?" I glanced at Sunshine then figured it was best to be honest.

  "She's fine. Cold, but fine. We're outside the house now. The shifters from the motorway were on the prowl and we had a fight. I didn't kill them but told them to leave Sunshine alone and that she had the right to choose for herself what she did. I told them in no uncertain terms that if I saw them again I would take it personally and assume they were our enemies. They're thinking about it." I nodded to Sunshine who beamed back at me like I'd given her an early Christmas present.

  "Awesome. So she's safe, that's the main thing?"

  "Yeah, she's fine. Where are you?"

  "I, er, didn't find her, and I got lost, then figured maybe she'd headed back to my place in the city, so I'm here."

  "What!? Why did you think she'd be there?"

  "Just thought she'd come here, to hide out. I hitched a ride and got here quick. Well, not quick, but you know..." Steve trailed off, probably because he realized he was an utter twat. I was about to tell him that when I remembered he was just a worried father and not thinking straight, and also a bit dim when it came to thinking about things logically.

  "Okay, stay there. We'll come see you later. Actually, meet us at my city house, just be careful getting there." I thought about what I was saying and changed my mind. "Sorry, no, scrap that. Just stay at yours. We need to keep Sunshine hidden so I'll call you when we arrive in the city and we can meet up. If anyone's watching they'll have seen you alone, which is a good thing."

  "Sounds good," said Steve brightly. "And thanks, Arthur, you're a true friend."

  "No problem." I hung up then realized he probably wanted to talk to Sunshine. It would have to wait, poor girl was turning blue with the engine turned off.

  "Let's get you warm, and dressed," I said softly.

  Sunshine nodded meekly before I got out and tried to come up with a plan that would keep this girl safe.

  No Rest for the Wicked

  Penelope fussed over Sunshine and ran her a steaming bath while George picked out clothes for her to wear and even gave her a swanky backpack rammed full of other clothes so she'd have a few changes and actually have something of her own. The poor girl had nothing personal at all.

  We ate a late lunch, had several coffees and hot chocolates and then it was time to go. I loitered by the car while everyone said a teary farewell like it was the last time any of them would see each other. It felt odd because it seemed final rather than a temporary goodbye. Guess we all felt it, that we didn't know what would happen, how this would pan out, so it got emotional and I got grit in my eyes which made them water.

  Then it was back to the barn, a quick step through the portal with Sunshine looking freaked and clutching her new bag like a lifeline, before arriving in a small kitchen. The musty smell made it feel even more transient, as though we were strangers, home invaders, and there was no place for Sunshine here.

  It was at this moment I understood the extent of my good fortune, just how lucky I truly was. I had an awesome home, large, warm, and inviting. I had money, but mostly important I had a family that loved me and somewhere I felt safe, loved, and at ease. Sunshine had never had that. She had lived a life of constantly being moved around, of no permanent base, just a series of bedrooms and interminable warnings about people out to get her, of being hidden away and always living on the edge.

  What kind of a life was that? Not one for a little girl, not one for an adult.

  Things would have to change. She needed structure, to be settled, to be calm and to feel safe. To have routine and a familiar face who loved her but who wouldn't lock her up or fill her head with warnings about others out to do her harm. She needed to not be reminded how special she was, but rather to be allowed to forget it and to try to be normal. All impossible, or near as damn it, but she had to at least be given the chance, for Steve to attempt giving her all of that and more. I knew he would, it was clear he loved her, and being as flaky as he was there was no question of her being given her freedom, too much if anything, by a man who lived in the moment and didn't give much thought to the future.

  Maybe in time he and Vicky would live together, and Sunshine would be a part of Vicky's family and thus mine. Or was that too much for Vicky? This would surely put a strain on the relationship as there was a lot to consider and it would certainly factor into their future together. Vicky loved Steve, even though they were still in the relatively early throws of their relationship. Not that it had stopped me and Penelope—we moved in together the day we met, but even I knew that wasn't how these things usually worked.

  "You really do zone out an awful lot," said Sunshine staring at me like I was a weirdo.

  "Do not," I said, smiling.

  "We going to go see Dad?"

  "Yes, I just need to think for a minute first. Decide where to meet him."

  "Can't we go to his place? I haven't seen it yet."

  "Maybe later. Best to be cautious first until we know what's going on. Actually, I think we should go see Ivan, he'll know if anyone's heard about what happened, if anyone's after you or if it's only the shifters who looked after you who even know who you are and that you've gone missing. Or," I mused, "maybe we'll meet up with Steve, go get Vicky, and me and her will visit Ivan and you can hang with your dad. No point showing you off just yet, even though you are such a pretty girl. Eh?"

  "Me, pretty? You think so?" Sunshine blushed a little, a sweet gesture that brought home how young and innocent she really was.

  "Course. You'll have all the boys after you when you're older. Don't touch them though, they're all scoundrels," I warned.

  "Okay, I won't," she laughed, pleased to have the compliment.

  We got our things together, not that there were many, and I phoned Steve and Vicky with the arrangements I came up with as we spoke.

  Then we cautiously left the house, I finally found the car I was currently using after wandering around for a while, and we set off to reunite a little girl with her dad and to pick up my idiot sidekick who was probably foaming at the mouth after missing out on the morning fun.

  A Reunion

  We met up with everyone at the local park where not so very long ago I had taken up running to get fit and had a few encounters with various bad guys. I recalled the trouble with the old head of Cerberus, and that brought back worries about how quiet they'd been lately. I shook it off; time for that soon enough.

  Steve was a wreck and looked awful. But his stress levels lowered when he hugged Sunshine. Vicky was great with both of them as we all stood around getting reacquainted and apologies were given by father and daughter to each other and everyone else for causing a fuss.

  I filled the others in on what I had planned and then we left Steve and Sunshine alone in the park while Vicky and I went to have a chat with her brother, the head of the criminal underworld and one of the toughest vampires around. But he was
almost family, and sometimes I even liked him, so it was all good.

  The sun even came out, the rain of earlier forgotten, and it was with a spring in my step, a feeling of having accomplished something and moving forward, that I walked back to the car with my sidekick skipping along beside me to keep pace. Was this Sunshine influencing me and everyone else in the park who looked decidedly happy? I decided it didn't matter, not right now.

  Everything was looking up, and that meant only one thing.

  Trouble.

  A Realization

  "Hi, I'm Arthur." I held out my hand to the woman but she just scowled at me.

  "Arthur, this stopped being funny a long time ago," squealed Vicky, jabbing me in my nether regions because she was too short to reach my ribs.

  "Huh? What you on about?"

  "She is talking about the fact that you seem, for some inexplicable reason, to be unable to recognize me, to remember that we have ever met. That, or you think it is funny to forget you have met someone on numerous occasions. Someone who is the aide to Ivan, who is his girlfriend, and who you see all the time!" The woman finished with a shout, exasperated.

  I grinned.

  "And what, may I ask, is so funny?" she asked as she stood tall and tried to peer down at me even though we were the same height.

  "You, you are."

  "Arthur, stop it, you're being so mean."

  "Vicky, oh most alive of all my sidekicks, she who has killed me, or got me killed—"

  "I said I was sorry."

  "—repeatedly, I am not being mean. It's taken me a while to figure it out, but now I have, haven't I? Um, what was your name again?"

  "Kim! It's Kim. What are you talking about, you silly little man?"

  "Me, little?" I asked, affronted. "Am not. You are."

  There was silence, because she wasn't little, but then, neither was I, so what was the deal here?

  "What are you talking about?" Vicky tried her glare on me, but I was immune. Almost.