by Al K. Line
It's the End of the World
Outside the gates was the weirdest damn sight I'd ever seen. Okay, maybe not weirder than that time with the squirrel and the jar of peanut butter, but it came close.
There were a shit-ton of Hounds spread all the way along the alley in both directions, zombies who'd had their fill, alive but unresponsive. Some were lost in intense concentration on scraps of litter that caught their eye as they slumped to the potholed, weed-infested ground, others merely stood there, swaying like branches in a balmy breeze. As we walked, several followed our progress, but it wasn't with the focus of earlier, it was with utter disinterest, a glance and then they couldn't be arsed.
"You did all this?" I asked, my voice a whisper, as if talking loudly would wake them from their stupor.
Sunshine nodded, her jaw clenched. "I can't keep it up, though, it hurts." Sunshine shuddered and her eyes streamed. Steve put an arm around her and smiled, being brave for the sake of his daughter. She smiled back and for a moment I felt the oppressive air lift and heard the moans of Hounds as they emerged from their trance.
"Sorry, Dad, but no cuddles yet." Sunshine shook him off and focused again on her emotional forcefield, as clearly feeling much of anything herself had an impact on how she could deal with this. Her already pale features became almost translucent as she regained focus and the Hounds ahead once again slumped or swayed, uncaring.
It swept across our minds too, but was gone, controlled by Sunshine, freeing us from the terrible grasp of its empty power.
We turned the corner and emerged into one of the main thoroughfares, a place still thronging with desperate shoppers, but they were desperate to buy nothing now, weren't hurrying home before darkness descended, keen to get to the warmth and familiar sights, sounds, and smells.
They wandered aimlessly, stared vacantly at shop windows, bumped into each other but didn't care, merely turned and wandered off in a different direction.
Vehicles were stationery in the road, engines ticking over, drivers and passengers alike sat staring out the windows, oblivious. Nobody cared about anything, had lost all interest. I smiled thinking about how pissed off they'd be when they snapped out of it and realized the damage to their cars so many would have to deal with. I wondered if they'd even remember how it happened. Talk about an insurance nightmare.
We hurried through familiar streets that felt utterly alien without the chaos. This must be what the end of the world would feel like. No noise of other human beings, just alarms going until the power failed and then utter silence. Apart from the pigeons, there would always be pigeons.
Sunshine began to shake really bad and Steve had to catch her a few times when she stumbled. She was losing control and it wasn't just her appearance that made that clear. I became an emotional whirlpool, sinking into utter despair, questioning my life and the choices I'd made, drowning in regret only to surface, feeling buoyant and full of hope, then having to clamp a hand over my mouth before I blurted out truths to Vicky and Steve I knew would hurt.
Then I felt no love for any of them, for anyone, including myself, and you have to love yourself. You're the only person in this world you can guarantee will be a constant companion until the end of your days.
Everyone else felt it too, and noise began to ebb and flow, rippled across the city in waves of joy and anger, pride and pain, happiness and gut-wrenching despair.
The city awoke, and all hell broke loose.
A City Awakes
The noise was astonishing, a cacophony of terror and confusion, anger and hostility, fear and loneliness. In other words, business as usual. It is only when such sounds are removed that you appreciate the true extent of the noise of a city when they return, and boy was it all-encompassing.
People, cars, sirens, shouts, screams, wails, cries, and every other emotion all expressed by millions of people, the distant noises combining with those close by to create a solid wall of humanity's struggle to be heard radiating out from the epicenter. And you are that epicenter, the hubbub filling every available wavelength, drowning out your ability to think coherently.
It was quite nice. Beat listening to the pigeons showing off.
Sunshine fell to her knees and gasped as she scraped skin on jagged asphalt. Steve cursed for missing it and helped her up then had a second thought and cradled her, unresisting, in his arms. She was sweating badly, almost blue, and limp.
But she smiled at her father and whispered, "I did it," before her eyes closed and she slept through utter exhaustion.
"You sure did," said Steve before he looked at me with hope, waiting for me to save the day now Sunshine had got us this far.
"We'll go back to mine, regroup, come up with a proper plan. Actually just a plan will do, we've winged it long enough. These bastards will never let us leave now, not after what they've just done."
"What who's done? What's going on? We had to deal with several Hounds and then we made it to the meeting place but we could sense them closing in. Are they after us?"
"No time, we gotta go," I said hurriedly, aware that Hounds were already back on the hunt and we were sitting ducks here in the shopping district.
"I'll tell you what happened while we run," said Vicky softly as she smiled at Steve then at the sleeping form of Sunshine.
"So let's go." I led the way, jogging past confused citizens who were blissfully unaware quite how lucky they were.
It's Whatsherface
"Oh, hello," I said, smiling at the woman standing in our path. "Um, have we met?"
"You are not being serious? Tell me you aren't being serious."
"Haha, just screwing with you. It's Kim, right?"
As Kim flushed with anger at my antics, I did the only sensible thing I could think of and said, "Vicky, give her a five finger special."
"Huh?"
"Smack her one, really hard," I said, exasperated by my sidekick's lack of action.
"Oh, right." Vicky pulled back her arm to give Kim a whack but to say the element of surprise was lost is like saying Vicky's a tad on the petite side.
As Kim sneered at Vicky and took a sensible step away, I swung out with a much longer range of motion and slammed my fist as hard as I could into Kim's pretty nose.
It went splat.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry. I hate hitting girls, wouldn't normally dream of it, but these are desperate times," I shouted over my shoulder as we took the opportunity to get the hell out of there before Kim overcame the shock of being hit by The Hat.
Hounds gave chase as Kim barked out orders, sounding utterly professional if somewhat nasal.
"You have to learn to act fast," I chastised my dear sidekick. "Smack 'em before they expect it, and make sure it's really hard. Works every time," I lectured as we dashed for the car.
"You could have just said hit her, rather than the five finger nonsense," moaned Vicky.
"Just get in," I ordered as we reached the car.
Steve wasted no time bundling a limp Sunshine into the back seat and hurried to buckle her slumped form up safely.
"Told you," said Vicky with slappable glee as she tore a piece of paper from under the windscreen wiper and waved it about. "You got a ticket."
"Goddammit!" I shouted, anger flaring for having to pay a fine when here I was saving the world from evil and rescuing a sweet damsel in distress. Didn't they know how important my wizardly duties were? I should have a sticker or something so I was exempt. Like police or firemen or something.
Vicky hopped in and I did likewise, then pulled out into the chaotic traffic and scraped past cars and generally drove exceedingly badly because Hounds were already on our tail and I suspected Kim was a bit annoyed with me for breaking her lovely nose.
Vicky waved the ticket under my eyes and I gave her a glare. "Don't know why you're being so smug, you have to pay it," I said.
"Me? Why?"
"Because you didn't hit Kim, so that's your punishment. Ha, who's laughing now, smarty-pants?"
Vi
cky poked her tongue out at me then we both smiled. The high of the chase was back, tiredness forgotten. I felt pretty good, although a nap would have been nice...
"Arthur, Arthur, wake up."
I shook, then opened my eyes. "Um, I did it again, didn't I"? I asked as I stared out the windscreen at an angry motorist, a burly man in a suit and tie, who stormed towards us, the rear of his car dinged where I'd crashed into it.
"Yes, you did," said Vicky with a sigh.
"Oops."
No Fair
I stuck my head out of the window and shouted, "Sorry," to the angry man before hurriedly grinding into reverse gear and backing up. He stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide, and put his hands up as he retreated. "Wow, I didn't even threaten him."
"Must be the wrinkles," said Vicky.
"Cheeky bugger."
There was a thud on the roof before a shape slid down the windscreen, blocking the view of the guy as he got into his car and drove off, his exhaust rattling.
"Don't think it was the wrinkles, think it was that." I pointed, not that there was any doubt about what had caused him to scarper.
"Bloody hell," gasped Vicky.
"It's huge," I noted.
"Allow me. Nobody is taking my girl away from me." Steve sounded more like the old him. Unafraid, confident, and powerful.
I turned to see him stripping off even as his body morphed and fur erupted through skin in thick wiry clumps.
The door opened a moment later—how did he do that when he was now a fat badger?—and I turned back to the front to see the very large cat, and by cat I mean a goddamn leopard of all things, hiss and scratch huge welts down to the steel as its eyes widened and it bunched its powerful muscles as Steve, a.k.a Mr. Badger, jumped up without grace onto the front of the car.
"It's like a bloody zoo around here," I groaned, knowing Steve would get a serious badger arse-kicking some time soon.
"We have to help him," said Vicky, unfastening her seatbelt.
"You stay right where you are. We have to protect Sunshine. Get in the back and keep an eye on her. If anyone tries to get in then deal with them."
Vicky clambered over the seat and I pressed a button to lock the doors from the inside. Ha, that'd show them.
"Do you think it's Kim?" whispered Vicky.
"Duh!"
"Arthur, you're so mean."
And then the animals launched at each other.
And then the passenger side window smashed.
And then I took my foot off the clutch by mistake, realized I was still in reverse gear, and the car jumped back several feet. The animals fell off the car, I felt a nasty bump as we drove over something, probably a Hound's foot, and then a sickening crunch I soon discovered was another Hound crushed between us and the vehicle behind.
Could have been worse.
Somehow.
Then it was, because a rear window shattered and hands reached in to grab Vicky by the throat before yanking her out of the car.
I sighed. Guess I'd have to help or I'd never hear the end of it.
Once More
I entered the fray, weak, sleepy, questioning my life choices, realizing I hadn't called home and wondering if it was dinner time yet and how much trouble I was in.
First thing first, so I yanked out Wand, who was as exhausted as me and about as responsive as a regular stick, but I nonetheless used him effectively by stabbing the Hound grappling with a very wriggly, very bitey and kicky Vicky right in his Adam's apple. It works every time and the guy dropped Vicky instantly as his hands went to his throat.
"No use, buddy, you're already dead," I said, and then he dropped. And he was. Dead.
Vicky kicked him in the ribs before she whirled with surprisingly fast reflexes and booted the guy to her side in the balls before he could grab her.
Not about to be outdone, I jabbed out behind me with an elbow, felt the breath escape sharply from the man about to do something nasty to The Hat, then spun and popped his eyeball with a very gooey Wand.
We hurried to the front of the car as Hounds closed in. The city seemed to hold its breath, and I realized we were making somewhat of a spectacle of ourselves. Everyone was watching, everyone was grossed out, and everyone would be calling the police. This kind of thing didn't happen in the city center, at least not often, and we had to get out of here or one of two things would happen. Either Cerberus would defeat us or we'd all get nabbed by the cops. I wasn't about to hurt the police, they did a fine job, so the only choice was to go, and fast.
Steve and Kim were playing hide and seek around the car, creeping one way then the other, peering underneath the vehicle before launching themselves in one direction or another and raking at each other. Both of their hides were torn and bloodied, but Steve was clearly faring the worst, and as they jumped onto the roof, which was no mean feat for a fat, stubby badger, it was clear Steve would be put down at next contact.
"We have to go, buddy," I shouted above the din of sirens coming from several directions, fighting through the confusion of traffic.
Steve didn't even glance my way, his dark eyes were focused only on the leopard. His muscles bunched, rippled under the stubbly fur, ready to take on a much larger foe once more.
"Hold this," I said to Vicky before I hurriedly removed my jacket, threw it over Steve, bundled him up, heaved the great lump in through the rear window, snatched back Wand, said, "Thanks, now let's go," and scrambled back into the car as Vicky did likewise and Hounds approached from all directions.
I managed to slide cleanly into reverse this time, slammed into the already mushed Hound behind, ran over a few legs and feet, and shunted a car out of the way enough so I could swerve out into the traffic trying to move to make way for the police. We scraped past several vehicles much to the anger of the occupants.
Then we were clear. I stuck to the dedicated bus lane and floored it, swerving this way and that as needed, but I made it away from the scene of the crime with all my limbs intact and I even still had Grace perched stylishly on top of my head.
"That went well," I said, turning to Vicky for approval.
"Could have been worse," she agreed. Her face was flushed, her chest was heaving, she was smiling, and it was unnerving.
"You shouldn't be enjoying this," I lectured. "We could have got killed."
"No way, we're too good. We took on Cerberus and beat their asses. Again."
"Yeah, pretty sweet," I agreed.
There was a muffled sound from the back and I glanced over my shoulder quickly as I hit a straight section of road.
"Oh, shit, Steve."
"Oops." Vicky reached over and yanked several times at my jacket that had Steve wrapped up like a stylish mummy, his limbs all tangled now he had sensibly decided to return to human form.
"That was disgusting," he said, spitting. "Don't you ever wash your jacket?"
"You aren't meant to clean leather," I said. There was an awkward silence. "What?"
"You can wipe it down, use soapy water," said Vicky, giving me a puzzled look.
"Really? You sure? Won't it, you know, make it go funny?"
"No, you dick," said Steve. "It'll make it clean, and stop it smelling funky."
"Oh, right. You learn something new every day. Anyway, how you doing?" I glanced in the rearview so I could thankfully only see the top half of a buff, naked Steve. Vicky was ogling her guy, which was fair enough I suppose.
"Been better. But I've been worse too." Steve groaned as he poked at various wounds, checking them out.
"Sunshine okay?" I asked, amazed she'd been so quiet.
"She's still sleeping," said Steve with awe tinged with concern.
"She's had a hard time of it," said Vicky softly. "Let her sleep."
Steve got himself dressed while I took several turns to ensure we weren't being followed, but it was pretty pointless as no way would this be the end of it. They probably knew where my house was, or could find out easily enough, and they would surely be followi
ng. Probably had helicopters keeping an eye on us, drones, some shit like that.
"We'll just have to try to make it to the country house and keep you safe. They won't come there, they know better."
"You sure?" asked Vicky.
"No, but what else can we do?" I genuinely didn't know.
I stopped at a red light, took the opportunity to breathe deeply and calm down.
There was a bang on the roof, making everyone jump, and then a familiar furry body slid down the windscreen and stared in at me with utter malevolence.
Getting Annoyed
"No way, I am not letting this happen."
As the eyes of the cat bored through my skull, I flicked on the windscreen wipers to the setting that also squirted soapy water. That'd teach her.
The wipers were pinned by her furry frame, but the water jets squirted. Problem being, they squirted at the windscreen, so the result was that she got a little damp but I couldn't see out properly. Damn, I thought it was a good idea too.
As the windscreen cleared a little, I revved the engine, looked both ways at the junction, then did a very naughty thing. I floored it right through a red light. I moved up the gears fast, the engine straining, until I hit fifth. A quick glance in the rearview to check the coast was clear and I slammed on the brakes. I grinned and waved as Kim flew off the car and I anticipated the crunching of bones.
Instead, she cheated, and as the leopard sailed through the air it morphed between various sizes of creature before wings spread wide and a bird of prey glided away only to loop up and then turn before landing gracefully in front of the car.
"Fine, be like that," I muttered as I put the pedal to the metal and screamed towards the eagle.
We roared past but I felt nothing hit. "Did we get her?" I asked.
Everyone turned to look behind but there was nothing in the road. Goddamn, where was she?
A large lump splatted onto the roof, denting the metal and forcing the car to slow. "What the hell was that? Can she, um, turn into an elephant or something? A hippo? Steve, could she do that?"