by J. G. Sumner
Kate turns her head and stares out the window as though I didn’t say a word.
“Where’s your mom?”
She continues to look ahead. “She went to pick up the meds. She’ll be right back.”
Shit! Anger finds its way into my body and surges through my veins. There’s no way in hell I would’ve left Kate by herself with AJ. I’m not sure what the woman was thinking.
I take a deep breath and try to calm down. Kate doesn’t need me to act irrational. “Can I get you anything?”
Silence.
“Have you eaten at all today? You know you’ve got to stay healthy for the babies.” I walk into the kitchen and get a glass of ice water. The nurse in the hospital emphasized proper hydration to help with the production of breast milk.
“I’m not hungry.”
Christ almighty. The woman is worse off than I expected. I take the glass of water and set it next to her. “You need to drink this. It’s not an option.”
Kate remains motionless, so I head back into the kitchen and make her a turkey sandwich on whole wheat. It’s one of her favorites. Just as I bring it to her, AJ finishes eating.
“Here, let me have him. You eat.” I take him from Kate’s arms and begin the burping process. Before too long, he expels three large belches. “Did you have some beer with that breast milk? You sure are gassy, little man.” I hear angry sounds coming from his rear end. I close my eyes and grit my teeth. Shit! One dirty diaper coming up. This is the part of being a dad I could do without.
I take AJ to his room and perform my fatherly deed before returning to the living room with Kate. She still hasn’t touched the food. I sit down next to her. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Kate sits motionless almost as if she’s a zombie.
“Listen, I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, but I want to help. Perhaps if we talk about your feelings, we can come up with a plan to help work through things. You’re not alone in this. There are tons of people who care about you and are willing to help you.”
I take her face in my hands and force her to look at me. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m in this one-hundred percent and will do whatever it takes to get us through this, but you have to let me help. I can’t do that unless you talk.”
Tears trickle down Kate’s face and for the first time since the kids were born, I see real raw emotion. I’m hoping this is a positive sign. I take my time and kiss each tear that falls. “That’s it, let it all out.”
Her chest heaves as the sobs escape her lungs. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m just so sad and I don’t know how to make it stop. I just want to want to spend time with my babies. Instead, I don’t want to move. Taking a breath is a struggle not to mention getting up to do anything else. How did I get here?”
I pull back the tendril of hair that’s fallen in her face. “This happens to some people. Postpartum depression can be a horrible thing. The important thing is to recognize your feelings and get the help you need before it gets any worse.”
“But you’re doing so much. You can’t possibly continue with both kids by yourself and I’m useless.” Kate buries her head into my chest.
“I’m not going to lie. It’s a struggle. Your mom is a huge help and we have so many people here to help us. Abby will be coming home in a few days and that will make things that much easier.” I chuckle. “Who would’ve thought a couple of months ago I’d be where I am now, changing diapers and feeding little people who barely fit into my arms. This is so surreal.”
“And you shouldn’t have to do it alone.” Her sobs increase in their intensity.
I try to soothe her by rubbing her back. “I didn’t say that to try to upset you, I’m more poking fun at myself. I’ve got to say though, it’s not as hard as I thought. It’s a little gross at times, but it makes it easier knowing that they’re my kids and I’m responsible for their survival.”
Kate pulls back and looks into my eyes. “You like being a father?”
I think about it for a minute. This wasn’t what I planned for my life. I had every intention of getting married, and then having a child or two down the road. I definitely didn’t think about twins. Fortunately, I had them with the woman I love and intend to marry. “Yes. It’s amazing to me just how quickly I fell in love with them. I’m their protector and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep them safe and happy.”
“You’re a better parent than I am.” Kate dips her head and stares at the floor.
“It’s not a contest nor is it true. You’re working with something that’s entirely out of your control. We’re going to get you feeling better in no time and then I fully expect you’ll be the mom you always thought you would be. Give your body some time to heal. This has been a huge ordeal and you’re not giving yourself enough credit here.”
The door opens and Elizabeth walks through. She stops and stares down at us sitting on the floor. “Is everything okay?”
I smile and help Kate back onto the couch. “Yes, we’re just working through some things. Kate mentioned you were picking up her medication.”
Elizabeth wanders into the kitchen. “Yes, I’ve got it right here. Have you eaten anything? You can’t take this on an empty stomach.”
I eye the turkey sandwich Kate has yet to nibble on and motion with my head for her to go on and eat it. The resigned look on her face indicates that she’s not going to fight this, and as much as she doesn’t want to eat, Kate knows what she has to do to get better.
Elizabeth brings over some water and the pill and places them on the coffee table in front of Kate. Elizabeth trains her eyes on her daughter while she eats. I can only imagine what’s going on in Elizabeth’s mind. Time to change the subject so Kate can get a little bit of peace.
“How’s Charles?” The question may seem to have come out of left field, but I haven’t seen him since he staggered into the delivery room and was barely being held up by the wall.
“He’s fine. Why do you ask?” Elizabeth’s brow is crinkled and her guard is definitely up. I wonder how much she knows or suspects about his condition.
“He didn’t look so good the other day and I thought he might’ve stopped by to see the kids.” I try to make light of the situation as though it’s just casual conversation, but somehow, I know he’s not coping with his terminal diagnosis very well.
Elizabeth puts one hand on her waist, and her shoulders relax just a bit. “He’s very busy at work. There’s a lot of things going on right now. He’s trying to get David up to speed so he can eventually take over. We’ve got lots of plans in the future. We’ve been wanting to spend a couple of months and take a cruise around the world. I’m not sure we’ll be doing that anytime soon. Anyway, who could leave these precious babies?” Elizabeth walks over to AJ’s bassinet and picks him up.
“I didn’t realize he was planning on retiring so soon.”
Elizabeth is now baby talking AJ. It kills me when people do that. Why not just talk to them like normal people? Perhaps it’s all just to elicit a smile. Somehow, I think babies are laughing their asses off at the idiot who’s talking to them.
“He’s been talking about retirement for years. I’ll believe it when I see it. Although, this time he seems more serious. He’s definitely been spending a lot more time at the office, and I never see David anymore. Maybe I’ll get lucky and we’ll get to spend a couple of good years together before we get too old to explore the world.”
My heart aches just a little bit for Elizabeth. She has no clue the devastation that’s about to occur. Somehow, I need to get Charles to tell his family. They should be able to have some time with him before he passes away. Besides, I doubt very much he’s working. My guess is he’s holed himself up in the office, and is drinking his life away. It sounds very familiar. Someone came to rescue me; maybe I need to be that someone for Charles.
Kate catches my attention as she stands up and heads to our bedroom. “Are you okay?”
She keeps
walking without looking back. “Yeah, I’m just tired. I’m going to lie down for a while.”
I glance down at the table. She ate the entire sandwich and took the pill. I can’t complain about that. “Okay. Maybe when you wake up you’ll feel better.”
Kate doesn’t say anything, but instead shuts the door behind her.
I don’t know how long those pills take to get the full effect, but I sure hope it’s soon. This family could really use for things to start looking up.
“I’m going to head to the hospital and sit with Abby for a bit. Are you okay here?” Elizabeth grabs her purse and I sense that she’s had enough of Kate for one day and needs a bit of a distraction.
“Yes, thank you so much for all you’ve done. We’ll be fine. I think Kate’s on the upswing.” I stand up to walk Elizabeth out.
The nod she gives me is unconvincing; however, I know if anyone can get through to Kate, it’s me. While they were completely different circumstances, I pulled Kate out of her shell once before in Italy. I have every reason to believe that I can do it again.
Chapter Sixteen
Tony
I’ve got to get out of this fucking apartment. I haven’t slept in who knows how long, AJ is wide awake, and Kate is frickin’ Sleeping Beauty. She’s been out for hours. If I sit here any longer, I’m going to pass out and no one will be awake to care for the new man of the house.
I strap on the Babybjorn and settle AJ into it before heading over to Jasper’s. After several knocks on the door, I’m resigned to the fact he’s not home and probably out doing God knows what with Kendall. I reminisce on those days with Kate, and I have to say, I’m a little jealous.
The elevator ride is quiet and uneventful. I lean my head against the wall and almost fall asleep on the minute ride down. What I wouldn’t give for a solid eight hours of blissful slumber. Once out of the lobby, I go in search of some espresso. It’s the only thing that can keep me awake now.
I head around the corner and see the Starbucks I’ve been avoiding since I came back. I stand in front of it, staring and contemplating whether or not I should go in. Part of me thinks this is the store that took away part of my life. The other believes it’s irrational and I need some coffee so why not go in.
The fatigued part of me takes over and decides it doesn’t want to walk forever to find a decent cup of espresso. I will my body inside the notorious green awning building and inhale the rich aroma of coffee. Sweet Jesus, I think I could orgasm right here. It’s exactly what my body needs to make it a few more hours without dreaming.
I get in line and I’m greeted by the barista I haven’t seen in almost a year.
“Will it be your usual four shots of espresso?” She smiles while holding the pen in her one hand and a white paper cup with the Starbucks logo in the other.
“Make it five.” My eyes are half-open and I pray the pick-me-up works.
“I’ve always been so impressed you can drink that. I think if I had five shots of espresso, I’d be awake for a week.” She cheerfully scribbles on my cup and then presses a few buttons on the register.
I hand her a twenty, not really hearing or caring what the price is. She returns my change and I drop a dollar in the tip jar. I head to a table in the back corner and take a seat. AJ is looking around, and I wonder how much he can actually see. After kissing the top of his head and inhaling his sweet scent, I give in to the temptation to close my eyes. Despite my best efforts, I fall into a deep sleep.
I slowly open my eyes. I’m not sure how long I’ve been out, and have no clue where I am. I do know this isn’t Starbucks. I attempt to hug the little body attached to my chest, but he’s no longer there. Panic overtakes my senses as my heart races, and I’m instantly wide awake. I try to sit up but I’m tied to the floor.
“What the fuck?” I take a look at each one of my wrists to find they’re bound to two legs of a bed. I study the room a bit more and note that I’m in a room and my son is nowhere to be found. How did I get here and what on Earth is going on? Is this how Kate felt at the mercy of Matteo?
“Hey! Hello? Is anyone out there?” I wait and listen for any sounds…my son crying, footsteps approaching…nothing—just silence.
“Someone help me!” I scream at the top of my lungs. A moment later, the brass door handle turns. I hold my breath in anticipation of who’s going to present himself–or herself–from the other side of the wooden wall. When the brown hair and green eyes appear, I gasp. “Emilia, what are you doing here?”
The sweet Emilia who wanted to catch up only yesterday is now staring down at me with a sadistic grin only worn by the devil himself. “What’s it like to feel scared that the person you love more than anything has disappeared and you fear for their life?”
I cock my head to the side, confused by what’s going on. “What are you talking about? Where’s AJ?”
“Ha! Wouldn’t you like to know?” Emilia enters the room and shuts the door behind her, but stays a good five feet away from me.
“I’m confused. Why are we here?” I’m looking back trying to recall how I got here with Emilia. The last thing I remember is closing my eyes in Starbucks.
Her evil grin has returned. “Do you have any idea what it did to me when I thought you died in the fire only to later learn that you were in fact very much alive? We were supposed to start a life together and have our own children, and instead you ran off with this other woman and decide she’s the love of your life. It doesn’t work that way! I dedicated three years to you only to have them thrown away like a piece of rubbish. You said you loved me! You don’t do that to someone you love!” Tears trickle down her face and for the first time since that fateful day, I realize the explosion affected more than just me.
A pang of guilt settles in, and I don’t know what to say or where to begin. “I’m sorry. Quite honestly, I was running for my life and trying to escape the country. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I had to make sure everyone thought I was dead in order to survive, and if I contacted anyone, they would be in jeopardy. As it was, Kate was kidnapped by Matteo. No one was safe.”
Emilia struggles between crying and laughing. The mixture of emotions overtakes her face. “Do you remember the last thing you said to me?”
I reflect back to the phone conversation. I remember tuning her out and thinking this was the end, but I don’t recall saying anything. I answer honestly. “No.”
“You told me I was too high-maintenance and you couldn’t give me what I wanted. What do you turn around and do? You fall in love with some American bimbo only weeks after that. You were breaking up with me over the goddamned phone! Who does that? I’ll tell you, a fucking coward!” Her face is turning red and she’s waving a finger through the air.
I’ve forgotten how theatrical Italian women can be when scorned. “I’m sorry you were hurt. Quite honestly, that was not my intention. There was so much going on that didn’t have anything to do with you. My entire family perishing in that fire changed me forever.”
Her voice turns into a shrill scream. “Changed you so much you were just ready to walk into a new relationship with another woman and commit your life to her? This was supposed to be my life. We were supposed to have kids and live happily ever after!” Sobs escape her lungs and my patience is dissipating at an alarming rate. Dealing with Kate and her emotional state has been draining, but now being tied up by a deranged psychopath is just over the top. Jesus, it was the best move I made to leave this mad woman behind.
“Where. Is. My. Son?” I grit my teeth, barely able to speak the words, I’m so angry. If my hands were free, I’d be wrapping them around her throat.
“Is that all you care about?” Despite the screeching that’s piercing my ears, I know she’s surprised by my question.
“He’s just a few days old. Of course that’s what I’m concerned about. Nothing else really matters except for keeping him safe.” There are so many things running through my head right now—most of which are obscenities.
I fucking hate this bitch.
“He’s sleeping peacefully and is quite comfortable in my arms. I have the motherly touch.” The screaming has stopped and now she’s speaking at a reasonable volume.
“He has a mom who is probably wondering where we’re at. We need to get back so she can feed him.” I honestly don’t know if Kate realizes we’re gone or if she even cares at this point, but I hope the realization that at some point AJ needs to eat, will help Emilia come to her senses and let us go.
A Cheshire cat smile expands across her face. “No one will be going anywhere. We have everything needed here to take care of him.”
I’m thoroughly confused. How and why would she have anything to care for a baby? “What are you talking about?”
Her smile fades and is replaced by confusion which I’m sure matches mine. “Don’t you remember San Diego?”
I think my heart stops. My throat becomes dry and I can no longer swallow. “How do you know I was in San Diego?
“You really don’t remember?”
I shake my head slowly trying to bide time to remember anything. There’s nothing. Emilia is absent from any of my drunken memories. “No. What am I missing?”
“You made love to me. You told me you loved me and was glad I was back in your life. We made a baby.” She rubs her stomach as though there’s something in there; however, it’s as flat as can be.
What. The. Fuck. When did all this happen? How far along is she? Where the hell was I, because I have absolutely no recollection that she was ever there. My drunken stupor was far worse than I initially thought. I certainly don’t recall ever saying I was in love with her. That’s just crazy talk.
I want to bury my head in my hands so bad, but the ropes are preventing any such thing. “When? Where?”
Emilia calms a bit, and for a second I believe she has me right where she wants me. “I already told you where, and as far as when, it was off and on for a few months.”
Are you fucking kidding me? I had multiple encounters with the banshee and I can’t remember a single one? Was I drugged? “How far along are you?”