Who I'm Becoming

by S. Q. Williams

  As we entered the restaurant arm-in-arm, she took a quick look around, a faint smile on her lips. The host knew who I was from my visit a few months ago and took us to a private area in the back. After we took our seats, he closed the curtain, and I turned my attention to Lauren who was placing her purse down in the chair beside her.

  “Hope you like Japanese food,” I said, grinning.

  She grinned back. “I love Japanese. My co-worker Shelby is half Caucasian, half Japanese. Her Mum made some dinner for me once. It was amazing.” Just as she said that, a man pushed through the curtain with a cart in front of him, greeting us with a smile. Lauren’s face brightened, and she pressed her palms together, eyes wide. “Oh my gosh… wait… is this the kind of place where they cook in front of you and create all those crazy fires and things?”

  I laughed because, for one, her accent was fucking adorable, and two, I was right about it not taking much to please her. She was really excited about this. I could see it in her eyes. “It is… the food is fresh, and it tastes fucking awesome.”

  She beamed at me, and then looked at the man who was setting up his dishes and cookware on the grill. The man introduced himself, asked for our orders, and then got right down to business after pulling some fresh ingredients from beneath his cart.

  I always found it pretty cool when they did all those tricks and shit with the spatula. A memory came to surface as I remembered eating at this restaurant with the band. Eliza had brought baby Grendel, and he was so excited about the fire. I mean, at first he cried and we all laughed, but after Eliza and Gage comforted him, he actually had the urge to touch it. The kid was crazy, just like his Pops.

  “What are you thinking about?” Lauren’s voice rose, and I turned my head her way.

  “Oh…” I smiled, shaking my head. “Just about the last time I came here.”

  “Oh yeah?” She picked up her water and took a sip. “What about?”

  “The band and I came here to eat once, and Eliza brought her son. The kid was so scared of the fire.” I laughed. “I just remember him crying and then after they soothed him he laughed and actually tried to touch it. Almost got burnt too. Kid’s a rebel.”

  She pressed her glossed lips to smile. “You admire them?”

  I narrowed my brows. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean… you admire the way Gage and Eliza can soothe their son? Make him feel as though he can do anything?”

  I stared at her longer than intended. I never thought of it that way. The truth was, I was kind of jealous of their relationship—had been for years now. Ever since the day Gage started talking about her nonstop, I knew she was going to be the one for him. And when they finally tied the knot, it was an emotional time because out of all the fuckers in the band, I never thought Gage would be the first to settle down. I figured Roy or Deed would’ve settled first but no, it was Gage, and a part of me envied that because he was strong enough to actually keep it going. Knowing he could do it and knowing how much of a coward I was with shit like that always made me feel low.

  “You know… it’s okay to be your own person,” Lauren murmured.

  I glanced at her before looking away and nodding. “Yeah… I know.”

  Bringing her hand up, she placed it on top of mine and brought it to her lap. “I’m pretty sure what that Lina girl said on her show kind of got under your skin. You… not dating seriously and all… but you’re you. Don’t let anyone try and change that.” She lifted her shoulders in a hard shrug. “Hey, if you aren’t ready, you just aren’t ready. No need to rush something that requires every ounce of your mind, body, and soul.”

  Smirking, I wrapped my hand around hers and tilted my head. “What do you know about being ready?”

  She giggled, batting her eyelashes. “I know a thing or two. Life lessons.” The chef placed our food on our plates, and we immediately dug in. He left us alone for a while, which allowed Lauren to ask something out of thin air. “So… why didn’t you go further in my room?”

  I swallowed my noodles before picking up my drink. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean...” She blushed like a child.

  “Oh, you mean after I ate that pretty pink pussy of yours?”

  She gasped, and her eyes expanded as she playfully slapped my shoulder. “Montana!”

  I laughed hysterically, picking up my fork again.

  “Someone could’ve heard you,” she whisper-hissed.

  I shrugged. “Does it look like I give a shit?”

  Her lips pouted.

  I turned in her direction. “Honestly, you shouldn’t give a shit either. It is what it is. Whatever people have to say about us is their opinion. We know what’s really going on here.”

  Her shoulders visibly relaxed. Then, she cleared her throat and said, “Anyway… yeah… the hotel. Why didn’t you go for more?”

  “Because I can wait.”

  “But you didn’t have to. You just seem like the kind of guy that takes an opportunity at sex whenever it’s available to him.”

  “You really think that low of me? If that were the case I’d probably have an STD right now.”

  Her eyes expanded. “Wait… do you?” she whispered.

  I burst out laughing. “Fuck no, Lauren. What do you think I am? I get tested every month. I know better.”

  She exhaled a breath of relief. “Oh… good.”

  “Sucks to know you think that low of me, though,” I muttered, but I kept a small smile on display so she wouldn’t think I was getting too serious.

  “Oh, no, Montana,” she murmured, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. “No.” She ran a finger across my chin and then leaned in, lowering her eyes to my lips. “I actually think very highly of you.”

  My heart sort of stuttered. “Yeah?”

  “Yes,” she whispered. She untangled our fingers and ran the palm of her hand up my thigh. I blinked quickly as she neared my dick, causing it to instantly harden. Damn… she hadn’t even touched my shit and I was getting hard. But I couldn’t help myself. The way she looked at me—the way she licked her glossy lips and stared at me with those hooded eyes… my god it was sexy. She was sexy in every way. And she knew how to turn me on without doing much. That was saying something.

  “I think we should get outta here,” I whispered as I leaned forward, placing my lips on her ear. I felt her quiver as I ran my lips across the shell of her ear. “We don’t want things to get outta hand here.”

  “Yeah… I think so, too,” she breathed, gripping onto my T-shirt. She clutched it hard and brought me closer. Her head tipped back, and she met my eyes, slowly running hers across every feature of my face until she found my lips. She leaned forward, and just like that, she was on my lap with her hands locked in my spikes. She moaned heavily as she grinded her hips on top of me. If my cock wasn’t hard enough before, it sprang to life as her tongue plunged into my mouth and ran across mine. She tasted just like her orange soda. The sweetness of her tongue only heightened my arousal. I wanted a taste of her again. I wanted to lick that flavor off of every inch of her body. She was too damn much… and there was so damn much I wanted to do to her. Every day there was a new fantasy involving her. I couldn’t fucking handle it… I couldn’t handle this.

  Rapidly, I stood to my feet and placed hers on the floor. I dropped a wad of cash on the table that would cover the bill and the tip, and then grabbed her hand. Pushing through the curtain, I hurried down the hallway, out the exit, and flagged down the first cab I saw. Luckily, it came my way.

  As soon as we were inside the cab, I told him where to and then brought Lauren my way, placing her on the center of my lap. I ran my hands down her arms, surprised she had goose bumps on a warm night like this. “Nervous?” I asked.

  “A little… but that’s okay.”

  “Don’t be. We’re good.” I lifted my arm, running my fingers through her hair. She smiled down at me then leaned forward just as I brought her face towards mine. Our lips touched once. It was soft and swi
ft, and it seemed both of us ached for more because instantly, our eyes met again. We zoned in on each other’s lips, and just like that, we collided.

  A deep groan rumbled in my throat as she ran her fingers through my hair. Yeah, she was fucking up my spikes, but what the hell did I care? She could do whatever the hell she wanted right now because in that moment, I was too into this shit. I was too into her. I was hard as a rock, I was panting—literally craving to be inside her. I wanted the driver to hurry the fuck up and get to the hotel already.

  I wanted to rip her dress off and fuck her in those sexy gold heels. I wanted to hear her say my name with that pretty little accent of hers. I wanted to hear her moan and breathe, all while I was inside her. I wanted so fucking much. Damn, how the hell was she making me want so much?

  “I’ve never done anything like this before,” she breathed as our lips finally parted.

  “No?”

  “No… not in a cab. But I like it. It’s… spontaneous.” She flashed a smile down at me, and then she cupped my face and brought my lips to hers. The kiss was sweet and gentle, just like her. It was sugary with just the right amount of dampness. Fuck… the kiss felt good. It heightened all my senses and caused my arousal to skyrocket. My cock thumped and strained against the zipper of my jeans. It was kind of painful because all I wanted to do was sink my way inside her and explode, but at the same time, it was only building me up for the real deal.

  The cab finally pulled up to the curb of the hotel. I tossed the driver a little too much cash, not really giving a shit. I clambered out of the car with Lauren’s hand in mine. As I rushed towards the spinning door, she laughed. She knew how badly I wanted this. I held off earlier, and now that I think about it, I shouldn’t have because then I wouldn’t have been feeling like this—like a horny-ass maniac that needed a quick fix.

  As the elevator ascended I just prayed that I wouldn’t end up coming in the first two minutes. I wanted to last. I wanted to please her, too. But right now, I honestly saw no way. My cock was still hard, bulging in my jeans. Oh, and to make matters worse (and better) she had her hand on my crotch and was running her palm across the bulge, teasing me. It was like she wanted me to come right there in that elevator.

  “I wouldn’t do that,” I told her.

  “It’s cute,” she murmured, bringing her body closer to mine. I stiffened. “You want me… badly, huh?”

  Fuckkkk. There it was again—her fucking accent. The dirty talking she did with that voice should’ve been a sin. Her voice alone was about to make me explode in my pants.

  “You’re trying me,” I whispered into her ear. The elevator chimed, and the doors slid open. I took her hand and hurried down the hallway. We reached her door, and she quickly dug out her key, stuffing the card in the slot.

  When the door was open, she waltzed inside and tossed her purse in the first chair she came across. She turned my way, and her eyelids lowered as she looked me over. There I stood, in front of her door with the biggest boner I’d ever had. My cock was throbbing. I seriously couldn’t take this anymore. The jeans were only making it worse. Quickly, I started to unzip and unbutton them. She walked my way, shaking her head and stopping me. “Oh, Lauren, come on,” I groaned. “I’m about to explode here.”

  She tilted her head. “I know.” Then, she smirked and finished unzipping my jeans for me. My eyes expanded when I realized what she was about to do. This was one of the many fantasies I’d had about her, and I thanked the high heavens it was coming to life.

  She dropped my jeans to my ankles and lowered herself into a squat. Her legs were in the perfect V as she crouched on her heels. Her grey eyes shimmered as they met mine, and I remained still as she tucked two fingers beneath the hem of my boxers and brought them down as well, freeing my cock. It sprang out, and a soft smile appeared on her lips as she studied me.

  “So big,” she said breathlessly. She palmed me, wrapping her fingers around it with slight pressure. My lips parted. I couldn’t fucking believe this. This… was happening. I was about to get head from the one girl I never thought I’d get it from. I don’t know why I felt like a teenage boy again. I felt like I’d never received head in my life. It was shameful because I’d received plenty of blowjobs in my time.

  Lauren cupped my balls, which caused me to put my attention back on her. My lips were still parted as she stroked me gently. Her lips formed into a small “o”, and in only a matter of seconds, she slid my entire length into her mouth.

  A heavy breath whooshed out of me as I palmed the back of her head. “Holy, fuck,” I breathed. Seriously… holy fuck. She knew what she was doing. She was slow and precise about every lick, and it felt fucking amazing.

  Normally, I liked sloppy head, but with her, there was no need for sloppiness. Each time my tip hit the back of her throat, she moaned, as if she enjoyed the sight of my pleasure. She sucked hard, and with my entire cock in her mouth, somehow she managed to get her tongue to curl around it too. She was a fucking pro. She was mind-blowing.

  She fondled my balls as she pumped my cock. I knew if she were to keep that up I’d explode in seconds. I could feel it coming. I was building up, panting, and thrusting my hips to feel the tight wetness of her throat.

  “Fuck, Lauren. Hold on,” I whispered, pulling her head back slightly.

  She glanced up. “What’s wrong?” Then she coiled her tongue around my tip, licking the pre-cum away.

  I shuddered. “I can’t come yet. Not yet. Not this way.”

  She tilted her head, but as if she knew exactly what I meant, she stood to her feet and stepped back. I helped her unzip the back of her dress, and it puddled around her feet. She started to take her heels off, but I stopped her. “Keep those on.”

  She grinned. I tugged her close to me by the arm, and our lips collided. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she moaned softly. Before we could get too passionate, I ordered her to get on the bed. She pouted but did as told. I went back for my jeans and dug out a condom, ripping the packaging with my teeth and sliding it on.

  When I turned back around, her legs were spread wide, and her eyes were lazy. She watched me as I pulled my shirt over my head and started her way. I grabbed her hand, and a confused glare met mine as I brought her off the bed. Turning her back towards my chest, I quietly told her to bend over while pressing my palm on the arch of her back. She blinked over her shoulder and started to speak, but I leaned in and kissed her before any words could come out.

  After savoring the kiss, she nodded and bent over the bed, poking her ass up in the air. My cock pulsed and throbbed as I stared at the pink slit between her thigh. My fucking goodness, I couldn’t believe this. I needed to get in there, and I needed to right away. But I had to get her ready. I needed her wet for me, so I bent down, and tasted her from behind. She gasped and buckled forward a bit, taken by complete surprise. I grabbed her hips to keep her still and continued tasting her. Her moans grew thicker, and the more I consumed her, the more her legs quaked. I knew it was coming.

  She cried out and burst within seconds. I left no time for her to pull her shit together. I’d had enough of waiting. Enough of stalling. I needed to fuck… bad. Bringing her hips back up, I brought my tip to her entrance, but it wasn’t me that sunk in. No, she pushed back, causing my entire cock to run inside her.

  “Shit,” I hissed. She really was too much, but it wasn’t stopping me. I had to get off. I was built to the brink. I knew it was only going to take a few strokes before I exploded, so I had to make do. I pounded her hard from behind, grabbing onto her hips tightly. She breathed and moaned my name, giving me even more drive. Her ass jiggled perfectly every time I slammed my way inside her. She was perfect in every fucking way. And knowing that only made me want to fuck her harder.

  Her cries turned into screams. Her moans became roars. Her legs trembled the harder I went, and then her walls tightened around me. She was coming… and so was I. I groaned gruffly, my upper body tensing, my cock still slamming into her. Three
more strokes was all it took. Three more deep, hard strokes and I was there.

  She screamed my name, and I held onto her tighter, my body locking as my release splurged out of me. I groaned, never feeling anything that good in my entire life. It felt so good that I collapsed on top of her, causing her to laugh beneath me. Turning my head, I placed my lips on her damp neck, and she sighed.

  “I could get used to this,” I told her, and she laughed again. I pulled out and leaned up, and she turned on her back to look at me.

  “Wanna go catch some drinks and then go another round?”

  A wide smile took over my face. I hopped up, helping her to her feet. It was almost like she’d read my mind. A second or third—hell, even a fourth round was more than okay with me. Placing her chin between my forefinger and thumb, I smiled crookedly and said, “You don’t know what you’ve just gotten yourself into.”

  “I think I have plenty of time to find out,” she murmured, her accent thick and heavy. She cupped the back of my neck, brought my face closer, and kissed me. Her tongue swept mine, and a groan I didn’t realize could belong to me filled the heated room.

  Man, she was a tease, and downright sexy, but that’s what had me hyped for the rest of the night—actually the rest of the week. I never knew what to expect whenever she was in the mood. And that was a good thing. I loved a good surprise… or twelve.

  LAUREN

  Seven

  Okay… so maybe I’d gotten a little ahead of myself by asking him out for drinks. We’d already done it once, and once was enough… right?

  No. Wrong. Once was far from enough. Sadly, I was yearning for more, but I knew I couldn’t handle more without something in my system. I needed my blood to pump. I needed to sweat a little—feel good. I needed a boost. Drinking always gave me an extra edge. It made me feel confident even when I was at my lowest. It made me forget, which was good sometimes, but not always. But this time, it was good because there was nothing to remember. I didn’t have to care about hurting his feelings or making him feel good about himself. All this was was sex between him and me.