“You are selfish,” I corrected.
“No, Montana.” She squeezed my hand. “No. See, I realized how much I’ve let you down. I realized how much we, your parents, let you down. You deserved so much more than we gave. I thought by spoiling you with material things that you’d be okay, but I was wrong. I was a horrible, horrible mother. I admit that, but… I want to work on that. It’s not too late. It’s only too late when someone’s dead.” She smiled. “From the looks of it, none of us are dead yet.”
Her smile was genuine, and for a moment, I started to fall for it. She was being honest with me, opening up with me. I hated how she’d waited until I was twenty-seven years old to say this, but she was right. It wasn’t too late. It was never too late for anything. The “It’s never too late until someone’s dead” motto was one I’d come up with as a child. I was surprised she remembered it.
I looked up at Jack who looked me back in the eye. “And you… what do you have to say? Because I honestly don’t think there’s a damn thing you can say that’ll get me to trust you again…”
“I know,” he said, nodding. “I know it’ll take time to gain your trust back, Montana. I messed up, okay? I admit it. I messed up with your mother, with my life, but most of all I messed up with you, my only son. Instead of raising you, I was out acting your age, pretending I wasn’t married… pretending I wasn’t happy. The truth is, I was happy. I loved your mother, and still do. I never stopped loving her, and I damn sure never stopped loving you. I know you think because I left that I didn’t love you, but you’re wrong…”
“You left without saying goodbye, Dad,” I seethed.
“I know.” He nodded. “And trust me, I regret it to this day. You deserved more. Your mother deserved more. I was a coward.”
“That you were,” I muttered.
“But that was years ago, Montana. A few months after I left I realized the huge mistake I made. I tried winning your mother back, but she refused. She was hurt. You were hurt. I did wrong. I hated that I waited so long to finally come back around. I was just… scared. I feared you wouldn’t accept me as your father anymore.” I swallowed hard, lowering my gaze. I couldn’t look at him. Fuck, I hated my sensitive side. Dad stood from his chair and walked towards me, extending an arm. “Stand up,” he said.
“What for?” I asked, frowning up at him.
Mom pushed me forward, and I sighed, standing to my feet—face to face with him. “You’re my son, Montana. There will probably be hard feelings, I know,” he murmured, “…but I want you to forgive me—no, scratch that. I need you to forgive me. I want to make this right. I want another chance. I… miss you, kid. So damn much. And I’m so damn proud of you. I’m so proud of all you’ve accomplished. You’ve turned out to be a true man. A true success.” His voice was getting thick and his eyes glossy. Fuck, I couldn’t believe it, but mine were as well. As much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn’t. Eliza was right. It was impossible for me to truly hate anyone. Call me weak, but I just didn’t have it in me.
In that moment, all I could remember were the good memories. All I could remember was him taking me to parks and buying me my first guitar even when Mom told him not to. I remembered him giving me extra ice cream, letting me try my first beer at the age of fifteen. He was a dad, whether I wanted to accept it or not, but when he left out of thin air, I felt like I’d been ripped open. I felt like he didn’t love me. I felt betrayed because he was supposed to be there for all the good moments. He was supposed to be there whenever I had a gig with the band. He was supposed to be there when I shared my big news about finally making it. He was supposed to be there at all times. He was never supposed to leave.
“Fuck, man,” I said, swiping at my eyes.
“I don’t know where you’ve gotten that filthy language from,” Mom said, swiping her eyes as well.
Jack smiled, pulling me in for a tight hug. I wanted to resist, but I couldn’t.
“I love you, son. I’m gonna make this right. Trust me.”
“Yeah, well… it’ll take time. It won’t just happen overnight,” I told him, pulling away.
He chuckled, and Mom laughed. I turned Mom’s way, pulling her in for a hug. Who was I kidding? Yes, I was still upset, but I couldn’t hold a grudge. I’d wanted to squash this internal pain I felt for years. I was always too weak to talk about my parents—it was a subject I never touched, not even with the band. This moment felt surreal, but it was happening, and I couldn’t fight it. Yes it was going to take a lot of work to get my relationship with them back in place, but we had nothing but time.
As I lifted my chin from Mom’s shoulder, I spotted Lauren making her way out of the kitchen. She tucked a lock of scarlet hair behind her ear, smiling as she studied us. I stepped away from Mom, extending my arm towards Lauren and motioning for her to come. She walked towards me, smiling as she looked from me to my Mom and Pops.
“I guess since we’re getting shit warmed up again, I can introduce you to Lauren, my girl.”
Mom’s eyes popped out of her head. “Your girl? You mean girlfriend?” Mom asked. “Wow, Montana…”
“Wow what?” I asked.
Mom shook her head, shaking Lauren’s hand. “No I just mean… I’m sorry,” Mom said, “…but is he paying you to be here? Because if he is, I completely understand. My son hasn’t had a girlfriend since his senior year in high school, and I don’t even count that as a relationship because it only lasted four days.”
Lauren laughed. “Really?”
“Yes, but excuse me. Where are my manners? I’m Glenda, his mother.”
“And I’m Jack, Montana’s father,” Dad said, stepping forward and shaking her hand.
“It’s great to meet you both,” Lauren said.
“Wow,” Mom breathed again.
“What?” I asked as she studied Lauren.
“I’m just shocked, is all. I never thought I’d see the day. How long has it been?”
“Well we’ve known each other for about a year and some change now. Started talking and messing around a few weeks ago.”
“Oh… so there’s some time here. Good,” Mom noted.
“Kid is growing up,” Dad said, nodding.
I felt proud in that moment. I could see in their eyes how proud they were of me. Mom knew I wasn’t the settling type, and she also knew I never brought a girl around the band when it came to a function like this. To have Lauren there with me proved how serious I was about her. I was glad she knew it.
“Hey, guys,” Gage called. We all turned to look his way. “The food is ready. We’re about to chow down. Ready to eat, or do you need more time?”
“Oh, no,” my parents said at the same time.
“We have plenty of time to talk afterwards. Let’s eat!” Mom said, eagerly making her way to the kitchen.
Wow… I hadn’t seen her that way in years. She was truly happy. Was it because of Dad? It was hard to believe after the way he’d hurt her, but as he wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head, I could see it was real. The way she looked up at him, smiling with her eyes and running a hand across his chest like she used to do proved they were real. They were together again, and surprisingly, as much as I wanted to have my guard up against it, I was glad about it. She didn’t deserve to be alone. Plus, she loved him, despite his mistake.
When they disappeared, Lauren laced her arms around my neck, stealing my attention. “I assume you became the bigger person?”
I nodded, pecking her lips softly. “I did. It was cool being mature for once.”
Her laughter chimed off the walls, causing my stomach to thrash with odd flutters. “I know I don’t know much about what went on before or how your relationship with them flat lined, but I’m proud of you.”
“Do I get to have a quickie as a reward?”
She laughed again, knocking her head back. As she gained her composure, she leaned forward and kissed me slow and deep. My dick throbbed in my jeans, and I ran my hands down her ass. She
had on the tightest jeans. Her ass was perfect in them, and with the addition of her stilettos, it only enhanced the sexual attraction. “I’ll give you your reward, but you have to be really, really quick,” she breathed, removing her arms from around my neck and grabbing my hand. She started up the stairs, and I smiled, eager as fuck.
“Oh trust me. It won’t take me long to get off. I’m already about to come in my pants staring at that perfect ass of yours.”
She looked over her shoulder and smiled wide, and as we reached the top of the staircase, walked down the hallway, and entered the bathroom, it really went down. Shit was steamy, and although it was quick, it was needed after that intense confrontation I had with my parents only moments ago.
I swear it was the best quickie of my entire fucking life.
***
I guess I could say having my parents around wasn’t so bad. The band still acted the same, and for once, Mom interacted when we did karaoke. She used to be so uptight about everything, but that night, she was really cutting loose. Mom wasn’t a drinker, but she had to have had over four glasses of wine. She was relaxed, and it was exciting to see her that way. She was being herself. After so many years of dwelling in misery and depression, she was finally happy. I still couldn’t believe it’d taken so long, but, hey, we all had our time.
The boys decided to play Spades while the ladies helped Eliza clean up a bit. I wasn’t up for any beer pong, so after kissing Lauren and telling her where I was going to be, I headed out to the patio and took a seat in one of the chairs. Moments later, footsteps sounded behind me. A deep throat cleared, and I glanced over my shoulder, meeting the light-blue eyes that were almost identical to mine.
“Pops.” I acknowledged him, sighing.
“Monty,” he said and then brought his beer bottle to his lips.
I laughed. “It’s been years since I’ve heard that one.”
“Yeah, well I was the only one to call you that,” he said, taking the seat beside me.
I nodded. “True.”
Silence crept between us as we stared ahead, watching the wind tussle with the leaves and the lightening bugs glow. There was something that’d been on my mind for years. Something I’d wanted to ask ever since the day the band got our first real gig. “Did you ever get my voicemail about when FireNine opened up in North Carolina?” I asked.
Dad swung his head to look at me, his eyes a little wide. “I… did,” he said, then grunted as he adjusted himself in his seat.
“Why didn’t you come?”
He lowered his head, his gaze drifting away from mine.
“You know what? Never mind. It’s cool. You don’t have to answer. I don’t wanna kill the vibe or anything,” I said, shrugging.
“No, no.” Dad’s voice was louder, and when I looked at him, his face was serious. Sighing, he said, “I got the voicemail and called the house the next day, but your mother picked up and told me not to call back. I decided just showing up to the show would be best, so I booked a flight that night.” He paused, picking at the label on his bottle. “I was there, Montana. My seats weren’t too great, but I was there. And I saw everything.”
Those words made me smile like a goof. “You were there?” I asked, sitting forward. “Well, why didn’t you come backstage? I had your name and Mom’s on the list…”
“I had a flight scheduled right after the show,” he murmured. “Our agency was working on something huge, and I almost got fired for leaving in the first place. I got an email during your show from my boss saying I’d better be back before midnight to give him my files or I was out the door. I was torn between waiting around and seeing you and going back to work. I needed my job… the money, especially since I was on my own.”
I nodded. “Oh.” My head lowered. “Where exactly did you move to?”
“Pittsburgh.” He smiled.
“No fucking way! Did you go to any football games?”
He chuckled. “I did. I sent tickets to your mother and told her to fly you up and everything. I’m guessing she trashed them.” He sighed. “Your mother wanted you to have nothing to do with me. She told me she was afraid you’d become like me if you spent time with me. We argued a lot—I mean, you were still my kid, and I had every right to spend time with you. But you know how she is. Being a lawyer and all, she felt she could threaten me with the law.” He shook his head, laughing. “I had to keep the peace. I didn’t want to make things any worse than they already were.”
“Damn… she really couldn’t stand you, huh?”
He sighed. “She was just hurt. Really hurt. I promised her so many things. I promised her I’d never leave, that I’d never take her for granted… that I’d never lie, cheat, or do anything to destroy our family.” He blinked hard, as if he were blinking away his tears. “I broke all those promises, and the sad thing about it is it wasn’t even worth it. None of it was worth it.”
I didn’t speak. He was having a moment, and I wasn’t sure how to comfort him. Yeah, he fucked up, but judging by the look on his face, I knew he regretted the hell out of it. It would’ve been wrong to keep rubbing it in his face. He was only human.
“Well, there is some good that came out of it,” I said.
“Yeah? Like what?”
“Well, after you left, I kinda made a promise to myself to never cheat on someone I love. Actually, I was terrified to date until I met Lauren. It just didn’t seem worth it before. I knew how I was, and I knew being faithful was the last thing I wanted to do while the band was getting big. I don’t know… I saw how hurt Mom was by the things you did, and I couldn’t stand it. I never wanted to put a girl through something like that.”
“Good,” Dad murmured, staring at me with glossy eyes. “Don’t. That’s a good girl in there, Lauren. I can tell she really likes you… but I can also tell she’s been hurt. She’s afraid of something…”
“Yeah… I’m trying to make it easy for her. Someone has hurt her. I’m waiting on her to be comfortable enough to talk to me about it.”
Dad nodded. “You’re a way better man than I ever was, Montana,” Dad said, extending his arm to cap my shoulder. “I’m proud of you. Proud of all you’ve accomplished. I told you it would happen,” he said, chuckling.
I laughed with him. “Yeah,” I breathed. “You did tell me that.” And he did. Every single day until the day he left. My dad gave me hope whenever I lost it. He made me a better bass player. He made me a better person by leaving, even though his leaving hurt me. It made me better because I didn’t want to be anything like him. I wanted to be better than him.
I was glad he could see that.
MONTANA
Nineteen
The next night, it was warm in Virginia, and surprisingly, Lauren had something planned. With a blindfold over my eyes, she steered me out of my condo, giggling as I held my hands in front of me.
“You better not let me run into a wall,” I said, laughing as I heard the elevator ding.
She clutched my shoulder, jerking me to the side. “I won’t, but you did almost run into that lovely couple.”
“I’m a blind man. Can’t they see that?” She laughed, and I heard the elevator doors shut. “Where are you taking me?” I asked.
“Don’t worry. You’ll see in just a minute.”
It was about three minutes to be exact. As soon as the elevator chimed, Lauren grabbed my hand and led the way out. She told me to watch my step as we climbed up a few stairs. Then we stopped. Lauren sighed, and I heard a door creak open.
“Alright,” she said, pushing me forward from behind. I felt her hands touch the back of my head, and she untied the blindfold. Once it was removed, I blinked rapidly, clearing my eyes, shocked by the scenery before me. Making her way around me, Lauren asked, “Do you like it?” in a light voice.
I stared at the blanket on the middle of the ground. A silver pail was sitting off to the side on a small, plastic table, a bottle of champagne on the rocks inside it. A covered tray of fruits, vegetables,
crackers, and cheese were on the table opposite of the champagne, and beside it was a can of whipped cream and a bottle of ranch. Candles of different sizes sat a few inches off the blanket, illuminating her efforts in a warm glow.
My eyebrows were practically touching my forehead. Lauren stepped in front of me, and when she saw my face, her smile evaporated. “You hate it, don’t you? See, I knew this was going to be too much. I told Shelby—”
“No,” I said quickly, looking down at her and shaking my head. “No, Lauren, this is fucking incredible.”
She nearly sank into her blouse. “It is?”
“Yes,” I said, smiling.
“It’s not too much?”
“No, babe. Not at all.”
She grinned. “Good.” Then she took my hand and led me to the blanket. We sat down across from each other, and she pulled two glasses from beneath the table with the champagne bottle on top. “Some bubbly for you?” she asked, reaching for the bottle of champagne.
“Some bubbly would be nice,” I said, returning the playful tone. “What’s this all about?” I asked.
Her smile spread wider as she popped the cork and poured a glass for each of us. “I felt like it was my turn to please you tonight,” she said, after taking a sip of her drink.
“Is that right?”
She licked her lips, running her eyes from mine and down to my crotch. “Yes… that’s right.”
I couldn’t fight my smirk. “Please me… in what ways?” I tempted.
“So many ways,” she murmured. She slid in closer, and I stilled, watching as she ran the palm of her hand from my knee to my groin. “I’m sure you’d rather me show you than tell you, right?”
She placed her drink down, and I nodded, leaning back on the palms of my hands. She climbed on top of me, lacing her arms around my neck. Her kisses started on the bend of my neck, and she gradually brought them up, causing the hairs on my arms to stand on end. “You are fucking amazing,” I breathed as her lips finally neared mine.
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