Heath stopped her. “Hey, look, that’s not what I wanted to talk about either.”
Cathy pulled her hand back. “Fine. Then talk about what you want to.”
“I…” He let out a frustrated breath. “I wanted to see you. I missed you. That’s all.”
She felt guilty all of the sudden. “Oh.” She turned to look at him. “I missed you too.”
Heath pulled the truck over to the side of the road, but left it on so that the music was still playing.
She clutched Gage closer and scooted across the seat.
Heath gathered her into his arms.
She rested her head against his shoulder.
Heath held her. She held Gage.
“I’m sorry Matt’s so nuts right now,” Heath whispered into her hair.
She shut her eyes. “It’s not your fault.”
“I wish I could make everything perfect for you, Cathy. I’d do anything for you.”
She smiled. “And I’d do anything for you.”
His lips found her neck, just below her earlobe.
She gasped.
It was perfect, then. Right at that moment, she was secure in Heath’s arms, the stubble on his chin tickling her neck, his solid, firm chest cradling her. Stalks of corn surrounded them, and the breeze went through them, riffling them like strands of a little girl’s hair. Everything was peaceful and tranquil. She was safe. Happy.
She turned her head, letting her lips meet his.
Their kiss plunged her into dense pleasure, a world that belonged only to her and Heath. She couldn’t imagine being parted from him. Ever.
* * *
Matt riffled through his cash. “I’ll raise.” He slapped several bills down on the floor of the living room.
Heath considered his cards. “Too rich for my blood.” He put them down. “Fold.”
Matt sneered at him. “Gypsy coward.”
Heath shrugged. Matt was down here with them drinking every few nights or so since Fran’s funeral. According to Cathy, when he wasn’t with the guys, he was drinking at the house. Drinking didn’t improve his personality, Heath found.
Saul handed Matt a bottle of Jim Beam. “Boy’s not a coward. He’s got balls of steel that one.”
Matt took the bottle and took a drink. Grimacing, he set it down with a clunk. “I don’t even know if he even has any balls.”
One of the other workers laughed. “Why you got it in for Heath so bad, anyway, Boss? Is it just because he’d always banging your sister down here?”
Heath turned to him. “Shut up, man.”
“What?” said Matt.
“Oh yeah,” said the worker. “She’s a squealer, that Cathy.”
Heath rested his forehead against his knuckles. “Great. Just great.”
Matt shoved him. “You’re screwing my sister?”
“We prefer ‘making love,’” said Heath.
Saul snorted. The other workers laughed too.
“Balls of steel,” said Saul. “But you’re a stupid son of a bitch.”
Matt scrambled to his feet. He gathered up his stack of cash and waved it at the workers. “Hold him down. You hold him down, I pay you.”
Heath got up, both hands up in surrender. “Hold on, Matt. You’re drunk, you’re mad, but I don’t want to get into it with you.”
Matt unbuckled his belt. “Hold him down.”
Abruptly, there were strong arms on Heath. He tried to fight them off, but there were three of them and only one of him.
They slammed him into the wall face first, and held him fast.
He managed to turn his head, coming face to face with Saul. “You?”
“Money talks, boy,” said Saul.
Matt’s face, at his ear. So close he could smell the liquor on his breath. “You should never have touched her.”
“Fuck you, Matt,” said Heath. “You want to fight, then fight me. Don’t pay people to hold me down. You call me a coward?”
The belt bit into Heath’s skin.
Heath flinched, gritting his teeth.
“Gypsy bastard,” panted Matt.
The belt came down again. And again.
I’ll kill him, Heath thought. If I have to wait forever, I’ll get him back for this. For every fucked-up thing he’s ever done to me.
And there were a lot of things. A whole, long list.
* * *
Cathy shut her eyes, trying to pretend it wasn’t Eli touching her, but Heath instead.
They were in the backseat of his car, and his hand was down the front of her pants. His fingers were clumsy, and he was pushing too hard. She tried to writhe away from him, missing Heath’s gentle caresses.
But Eli misunderstood her movement. “You like that?” he whispered.
“Uh huh,” she lied.
He sighed into her temple. “You make me crazy, you know that?”
Goddamn it. It was getting harder and harder to put him off. Every time they made out, he pushed for more. She knew what he wanted, and she wanted to avoid going all the way with him if she could.
She put her hand on his chest and gently pushed him back into the seat. She reached for his zipper.
He gasped.
She freed him from his pants, and he was rigid in her hands. She rubbed him.
He moaned.
And then she bent down and took him in her mouth. It always shut him up, pacified him. And it was as far as she wanted to take things.
She bobbed up and down on Eli’s shaft, listening to his heavy breathing.
Let him do it fast this time, she thought.
But it wasn’t fast. It went on interminably, and she got a crick in her neck, and her jaw got sore.
Not to mention how boring it was. Moving her mouth up and down on him over and over again was monotonous. She didn’t hate it, not exactly, and it was more fun with Heath, for some reason, maybe because it didn’t take him so goddamned long to come.
Of course, they didn’t get to the coming part all that often when she did it to Heath, because he’d always stop her and put on a condom, whispering in her ear that he wanted to be inside her, which always made her insides go to jelly.
Finally, Eli spasmed in her mouth and pumped his come down her throat.
She swallowed it and sat back up, wiping her mouth.
Eli’s eyes were half-lidded in pleasure. “Fuck, Cathy.”
She did her best not to roll her eyes. She settled for a sexy-sounding, “Mmm…” instead.
“You’re too good to me,” he said. He kissed her.
At least he wasn’t a horrible kisser. If the kissing was as terrible as the way he tried to feel her up, she didn’t know if she’d be able to put up with him at all.
Anyway, she wouldn’t have to do any of it much longer.
“You should probably take me home,” she said. “I have homework to work on and stuff.”
“But you’re…” He touched her face. “You always go down on me, and you’re sweet about it, but I never do anything for you. And I want to. I want to make you feel good.”
She patted his cheek. “You do make me feel good.”
“I want to make you come.”
As far as Cathy could tell, her body could not have an orgasm in front of an audience. She couldn’t do it with Heath either, although she could rub herself under the covers at night when she was alone and be having an orgasm in five minutes flat. For some reason, when someone else did it, she felt too self-conscious, and she couldn’t get into it properly. It wasn’t the same.
“You will,” she said. “It’s harder for girls.” She smiled at him. “Come on, I really need to get started on my French.”
He rearranged his clothes. “You’re too perfect, you know that? I don’t deserve you.”
She blanched, looking away. Why did he have to say things like that? She was the one who didn’t deserve him. Hell, when it came down to it, she probably didn’t deserve either of them.
He kissed her forehead and crawled into the front seat of the car.
She followed him.
He drove her back to the farmhouse, pulled up right in front of the door.
She reached for the door handle.
He caressed her neck and turned her to him. His lips found hers, and he kissed her thoroughly. She touched his face, guilt thrumming through her like it always did.
But when he let go of her, she asked anyway. “Look, I don’t mean to be a big pest, but I was wondering if—”
He held up a hand and cut her off. “I was going insist you took this, anyway.” He took out his wallet and pressed money into her hand.
She looked down at it, the crisp green bills in her palm. They were worth all this, weren’t they?
“Thanks, Eli,” she said. “I’m sorry I’m such a mooch.”
“Are you kidding? I’ve got plenty of money. It doesn’t mean anything to me.” He kissed her again. “I just want you to be comfortable.”
She got out of the car smiling. She tucked the bills into her pocket and skipped up the steps. It was almost over. She wouldn’t have to do it for much longer.
She opened the door to the farmhouse.
Strong hands grasped her shoulders and propelled her into the wall.
It was Heath. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. His dark curls were hanging in his eyes. His black, black eyes. They looked wounded and lost, but the rest of his face was a mask of rage.
“What are you doing in the house?” she said. “Why aren’t you working in the fields?”
“I’m not working because Matt took a belt to me last night while everyone else held me down,” he said. “And I’m up here, because I saw Matt leave, and I was getting some salve for my back.”
She looked at him. She could see red welts hugging his torso, raised and swollen. “Oh, god, Heath, what did he do to you?”
“No,” said Heath. “Don’t try and pretend like you care about me. I saw you kiss Eli, Cathy. I saw it with my own fucking eyes.”
“I… I can explain.”
He shook her. “Explain? You going to tell me it’s another school project, Cathy? That what you’re going to say? You think I’m really stupid, don’t you?”
“It’s not what you think.”
“How could it not be? You were kissing him.” He shook her again, harder this time, and her head jerked back and forth painfully.
A jolt of fear ran through her. “Just… let go of me. Let’s go upstairs. I’ll explain all of it, I swear.”
He clenched his teeth together.
“Let go of me, Heath. You’re hurting me.”
He let her go. He stalked away from her, dragging his hand over his face.
She could see his back now. It was crisscrossed in welts. Some were broken open and weeping. She let out a little noise, covering her mouth with her hand. “Your back. Baby, your back—”
“Don’t call me that.” He snatched her by the wrist. “Let’s go upstairs. You said you could explain. I can’t wait to hear this.”
He dragged her to the steps. She almost lost her balance. His fingers dug into her wrist painfully. She was afraid.
But they got to her room. And she opened up her dresser drawer, and she took out the roll of bills that she’d been saving. Every dollar that she’d manipulated Eli into giving her was here. She’d been saving them all up.
Heath looked at the money. “Where did you get that?”
“From Eli,” she said. “I want to get out of here, Heath. I want to get you out, away from Matt. So he can’t do things like that to you anymore.” The sight of Heath’s back made her want to cry. “And it’s easier to get Eli to give me money if I’m kissing him.”
Heath stepped back, disgust all over his face. “No.”
She nodded. “I knew you wouldn’t like it, but I didn’t know what else to do. And if you don’t want me to do it anymore, I’ll stop. I almost have enough money anyway.”
He shook his head. “No, Cathy, no.”
She went to him. Wrapped her arms around his neck. “It was for us. You have to understand that. So that we could get away.”
He pushed her away. His face was twisting. “You smell like him,” he choked.
She bit her lip. “I didn’t want you to know.”
“You kiss him for money?” said Heath. “You do other things too?”
“I… not really.”
“You fuck him?”
“No,” she said. “I swear to god, no. Never.”
Heath laughed, a wild, maniacal sound. “You know what that makes you? Whether you’re fucking him or not?”
She cringed from him.
“It makes you a whore.”
She recoiled. The word was like a slap. “Heath—”
He took the money out of her hands. He threw it aside, and green bills fluttered everywhere.
She started to cry.
“Oh, and you’re crying.” His voice was sarcastic. He bit down on his fist.
She sat down on her bed. Sobs bubbled up in her, and she couldn’t stop them.
That was all there was for several moments. The sound of sobbing. Heath wouldn’t look at her.
Then he massaged the bridge of his nose. He came to her and knelt down. His voice was gentle. “Cathy, if you want money, I can get you money.”
“No, you can’t,” she said. “You don’t have anything, Heath. Nothing.”
His jaw twitched. He looked at the ceiling.
“I want to be with you, but I can’t. Not like this. Maybe if Matt hadn’t brought you so low. Maybe then you could have graduated from high school, and you could have done something with yourself, but now?” She shook her head. “What do you think it would be like, Heath? I’d marry you? Where would we live? The barn?”
He stood up. He ran a hand through his hair, turning away from her.
“I can’t be with some guy who never washes his hands and hangs out drinking beer and playing poker. You… you embarrass me.”
He whipped back around to look at her. His eyes shone wetly. “Embarrass you?”
She looked away.
He laughed in disbelief. In pain.
And then he swept out of the room.
She went after him. “Heath, wait.”
He went down the stairs. He didn’t look at her.
“Heath,” she said again.
He stopped at the bottom of the steps. He looked up at her. His voice was soft, barely more than a whisper. “You bitch.”
And then he was gone, out the front door, and the house was quiet.
She sat down on the top step.
She’d screwed everything up.
She sat there, staring after him, too stunned now to even cry. She felt broken.
A thin wail cut through the air.
Gage.
She got up numbly and wandered to the baby’s room. He was squirming in his crib, his face screwed up and red from his crying. She picked him up, held him close.
He cried even louder.
“Poor little guy,” she said. “You’re all alone, aren’t you?”
She changed his diaper and gave him a bottle. Eventually, he quieted. It was almost as if all the crying had exhausted him. He peered up at her with his baby blue eyes.
She rubbed his head. “Oh, Gage. I think I ruined everything.”
Gage just sucked on his bottle.
“Heath and me are forever,” she whispered. “I think that whatever souls are made of, his and mine are made of the same stuff. We’re the same.”
Hadn’t she felt it when they made love?
She rocked Gage. “He’ll come back when he’s cooled down. I made him angry. I hurt him. But we can’t be away from each other. We can’t be apart. He’ll see that. He’ll forgive me. He has to.”
* * *
But Heath didn’t come back. The hours ticked by, and the sun sank in the horizon, and the stars poked out of the dark sky. The night air was frigid, the first breath of winter. He was all Cathy could think about. Heath.
She got her jacket and went
down to the tenant house.
Saul was standing on the porch, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He was smoking. “You looking for Heath?”
She nodded. “Is he okay?”
“Wouldn’t know,” said Saul. “Haven’t seen him. He wasn’t here when we got back from the fields today, but your brother sure gave him a beating last night. Maybe you should steer clear of that boy. For his own good.”
“He’s not here?” That didn’t make any sense.
“Nope,” said Saul.
Cathy turned and ran, without saying goodbye to Saul. She went to the garage, where the vehicles were. But Heath’s truck was still there.
Was he on foot then?
She felt frantic, thinking of him wandering alone along the highway. Could he even stand to wear a shirt over those welts on his back? Was he freezing to death?
How long had he been walking?
She wrapped her coat tight around her body and dashed down the driveway. He had a huge head start on her. What if she didn’t find him?
She ran as fast as she could, sprinting along the road.
When she got a stitch in her side, she kept running.
When she was gasping for breath, she kept running.
And when the icy air made her hands and nose go numb, she kept running.
She kept running until she dropped.
* * *
“It’s for you, Cathy.” Matt held the phone out to her, his face stony.
She didn’t respond. She’d been lying on the couch in the living room for what might have been days. She hadn’t eaten, but she’d had a little water at one point.
“It’s that Linton boy,” said Matt. “Again. He’s going to keep calling until you talk to him, you know.”
She stared through Matt. She didn’t want to talk to Eli. Eli had cost her Heath. He was gone, and he hadn’t come back. And it had been days. Weeks, maybe. She didn’t know what to think. She worried Heath was dead.
“If you won’t talk to him for yourself, would you talk to him for me?” said Matt. “I don’t want the family to have any reason not to go through with the sale. Please, Cathy?”
She reached out her hand for the phone. “Hello.” Her voice sounded strange and wooden.
“Cathy, are you okay? You haven’t been at school.”
“I’m sick.”
“Well, let me come over and cheer you up. I’ll bring movies. I’ll make you soup.” Eli’s voice sounded so alive, so golden. He was always sunny and bright, wasn’t he?
Wuther Page 10