Point of No Return

by Carole Mortimer

  ‘And I send mine.’ Megan rang off abruptly.

  Roddy was on his way here! Still, at least he no longer had that hold over her. Brave Patsy to have told Donald about Roddy.

  She had no warning of Roddy’s arrival; one minute she was sitting alone in the suite wondering what to do, the next he was in the room. She stood up slowly, eyeing him warily. ‘What do you want?’

  ‘Surprised to see me?’ He ignored her question, putting her suitcase down on the floor at his feet, his expression unpleasant.

  ‘Not at all,’ she replied tautly.

  ‘Ah, your brother let you know.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘What do you think you’re doing here with Rome?’ he rasped suddenly.

  Megan blushed. ‘What do you think I’m doing?’

  ‘I warned you—’

  ‘Patsy’s told Donald everything,’ she told him triumphantly.

  ‘I see,’ he said slowly. ‘And you think that alters things between us?’

  She looked disconcerted by his lack of surprise. ‘Well, of course it does.’

  ‘I don’t agree.’ His gaze ran over her insolently. ‘We’re alone here, aren’t we?’

  Megan began to feel nervous, not liking the look in his eyes. ‘It’s a hotel.’

  He smiled, a smile without humour. ‘But this is Rome’s suite. No one will intrude in here unless specifically asked to do so.’

  ‘You’re here, and you weren’t asked.’

  ‘So I am,’ he gave a husky laugh. ‘And now I’m going to avail myself of the amenities.’ He took a threatening step towards her.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Megan began backing away.

  ‘I once told you that Rome would never be interested in a woman I’ve had first, and that still applies.’

  ‘How do you know we haven’t already—’ She broke off as he twisted her arm painfully behind her back. ‘Roddy, you’re breaking my arm!’ she cried.

  ‘Have you been with Rome?’ The tension on her arm didn’t relax in the slightest degree.

  ‘No!’ She gritted her teeth.

  He pulled her arm up even higher. ‘Is that the truth?’

  ‘Yes!’ she told him faintly. ‘Roddy, please …’ Pain shot through her arm and everything suddenly went black.

  She woke up to find herself lying on the bed, with Roddy bending over her as he kissed her, his hands roaming freely over her body. Nausea rose within her. ‘Roddy—’

  ‘You like this, don’t you?’ he bit her throat painfully. ‘Tell me you like it, Megan.’

  ‘Roddy—’

  Suddenly he was pulled off her, landing against the far wall with a sickening thud. Jerome’s anger filled the room, his eyes burning brown orbs in his pale face, his body tensed with furty.

  Megan began to cry. ‘Oh Rome, thank God you’re here!’ she choked, reaching out to him.

  He ignored her outstretched hand, turning to look at his brother. ‘Get up,’ he ordered grimly.

  Roddy rubbed the back of his head. ‘So that you can knock me down again? No, thanks!’

  ‘Get up!’

  ‘She isn’t worth it, Rome. Little sluts like her are two a—’

  He didn’t get any further as Jerome pulled him to his feet by a hand on the front of his shirt. His fist landed on Roddy’s jaw with all the anger there was in him, knocking the younger man to the floor again. Roddy’s expression was dazed.

  ‘Get out of here!’ Jerome turned away.

  ‘Rome!’ Megan cried out to him, her face white.

  ‘As soon as my back was turned you got him here,’ he accused fiercely. ‘You were even making love with him on my bed!’

  Making love? Surely Jerome couldn’t think she had enjoyed that—that disgusting touch on her body?

  ‘Rome, no!’ she protested. ‘He was forcing me, touching me against my will.’

  ‘It looked like it,’ he scorned savagely.

  She looked at Roddy. ‘Tell him,’ she pleaded. ‘Tell him I didn’t want you here. Tell him, damn you!’ she screamed shrilly.

  Roddy slowly stood up. ‘Forget it, Megan. You’ll just have to settle for me.’

  ‘Never!’ she shuddered. ‘You disgust me!’

  ‘You aren’t such a bargain yourself.’ Jerome looked at her as if he couldn’t bear the sight of her. He turned to his younger brother. ‘You realise her reputation? According to rumour she was also dismissed from her last job for having men in her room.’

  Megan’s eyes widened. ‘You heard about that?’

  ‘Is it true?’ he rasped.

  She swallowed hard. ‘I—’

  ‘It’s true,’ Roddy cut in.

  Jerome’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. ‘How do you know?’

  Roddy shrugged. ‘Ask Megan.’

  ‘Well?’ he demanded of her.

  ‘I—’ she licked her lips nervously. ‘You see—’

  ‘I was one of the men,’ Roddy surprised her by admitting.

  ‘One of the men?’ Jerome asked raggedly.

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘Megan?’

  She felt sick, the nausea was no longer going to be denied. She got up and ran to the bathroom, only just getting there in time. She was pale and weak by the time the nausea had passed, and the slamming of a door told her that one of the men had left. Oh, she hoped it was Roddy!

  Roddy stood alone in the bedroom when she returned, a triumphant smile on his face. ‘He’s letting me have you,’ he announced.

  She swallowed hard. ‘He said that?’

  He grinned. ‘He said worse, but it isn’t repeatable.’

  ‘Oh God!’ She collapsed down on to the bed. ‘Why do you have to destroy and hurt, Roddy? Why can’t you let anyone be happy?’

  ‘You think you could have been happy with Rome?’ he scorned.

  ‘I would have tried.’

  ‘And in the end you would have had to admit defeat, as my father did with Rome’s mother.’

  ‘Your father?’

  ‘My mother never loved him, you know.’ He had retreated into some sort of private hell. ‘My father loved her and all the time she still loved Rome’s father.’

  ‘But he was dead!’

  ‘It didn’t matter, she still loved him. My father was second best, and so was I. Rome always came first, always!’ His hands clenched into fists at his side. ‘That’s the way the Towers family is, you see. They can love only once. Rome’s too proud to fall in love with someone like you.’ He turned to leave.

  ‘Where are you going?’ she asked sharply.

  ‘Back to The Towers.’ He grimaced. ‘I don’t think London is big enough for both Rome and me at the moment.’

  ‘Can I come with you?’ She was too weary to fight any more, knowing that she had lost Jerome for good.

  His eyes widened. ‘Are you sure you want to?’

  She stood up, collecting her coat. ‘Why not? I don’t have anywhere else to go.’

  She felt numb, not even noticing as Roddy’s sports car ate up the miles between London and Norfolk.

  ‘I’ve always admired Rome,’ he said suddenly.

  ‘You surprise me,’ she taunted. ‘I would have said you hated him.’

  ‘No. I love him.’

  ‘But you’re jealous of him.’

  ‘I suppose so,’ he admitted. ‘I have even more reason to feel jealous now, don’t I?’

  ‘Do you?’ she said dully.

  ‘You’re in love with him.’

  She turned to look at Roddy. ‘And why should that make you jealous?’

  ‘Would you believe, I love you myself?’

  ‘No, I wouldn’t believe!’ She gave a choked laugh. ‘No man in love would treat me as you have.’

  ‘They might if they could see you weren’t interested.’

  Megan gave him a searching look, seeing his gaunt expression, the dejection in his bearing. ‘Stop fabricating, Roddy,’ she sighed. ‘I’m too tired to play any more games. ‘You’ve got your own way, ther
e’s no need to act this charade out any more.’

  ‘It isn’t a charade, Megan. If you could have loved me …’ He drew a ragged breath, a white ring of tension about his mouth. ‘I think I’ve been a little insane these last few weeks. It would seem I’m a Towers after all, and I’ve acquired all the family traits. I always thought I was on the outside, that I didn’t belong. But I fell in love with you on sight, and you rejected me. It was another rejection in my life I couldn’t take.’

  Megan shook her head, unable to believe him. ‘But you kept trying to force me,’ she reminded him.

  He sighed. ‘I wanted you. I even followed you back to The Towers in the hope that I could still make you interested.’

  ‘After getting me dismissed!’ she scorned.

  ‘I didn’t mean it to go that far. I told your Nursing Officer that we were engaged, hoping to compromise you into marrying me, but you categorically denied any serious involvement between us. I didn’t mean you to get thrown out, Megan, believe me.’

  ‘And your involvement with Patsy?’ He was so earnest that she was starting to believe he really meant all this.

  ‘An effort on my part to make you jealous.’

  ‘Couldn’t you at least have chosen someone who wasn’t already married?’

  He shrugged. ‘She was available.’

  ‘Oh, Roddy!’ Megan shook her head.

  ‘I know—I’ve made a mess of things from start to finish. I’ll take you back to Rome if you like.’

  ‘What’s the point?’ Her expression was agonised. ‘He doesn’t want me, not now.’

  ‘Are you kidding?’ He gave a bitter laugh. ‘I thought he was going to kill me just now.’

  ‘You’re lucky I didn’t,’ she told him ruefully. ‘But it’s no good, Roddy, Rome is no longer interested in me.’

  ‘He will be once I’ve told him the truth.’

  ‘You think I want him that way?’ She shook her head. ‘It’s better like this. I think it’s better if I admit defeat now, before I become too deeply involved.’

  ‘Can you be any more involved than you are now?’ Roddy asked gently.

  ‘Oh yes, yes, I could!’ Once she had given herself to Jerome there would be no turning back for her, she would have to remain in his life until he tired of her or found her replacement. ‘In a way I’m grateful to you, Roddy. I was about to make a fool of myself. I—I’m sorry I can’t love you. I never meant to hurt you.’

  He sighed. ‘And I never meant to hurt you either, I just couldn’t seem to stop myself.’

  The warmth of the car was making Megan fall asleep. She woke suddenly, sure that something was wrong, and opened her eyes just in time to see the lights of another car coming straight at them. She cried out as they didn’t seem to deviate, knowing that the two vehicles were going to collide.

  ‘Get down, Megan!’ Roddy threw himself across her just as there was a tremendous crunch. The horrendous grinding of metal was the last thing she heard before she passed out.

  CHAPTER TEN

  THEY told her afterwards that Roddy had been killed on impact, that by protecting her he had risked and given his own life. Megan herself was in a state of shock for several days afterwards, but her cuts and bruises were superficial; only the knowledge that Roddy had given his life for her was scarring her internally.

  The first person she saw when her eyes fluttered open as she lay between the crisp white sheets of the hospital bed was Jerome. He was sitting beside the bed holding her hand, very white, his eyes shadowed.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ her tongue seemed to be stuck to the roof of her mouth. ‘About Roddy,’ she added huskily.

  ‘Yes.’ His troubled gaze searched the pallor of her features. ‘How do you feel?’

  Tears gathered in her huge green eyes. ‘How am I supposed to feel, knowing Roddy just died for me?’ Her tone was bitter, and she removed her hand from beneath his.

  ‘He did it because he wanted to,’ Jerome said gently.

  Tears trickled down her cheeks. ‘He did it because he loved me. Oh God!’ She turned her face into the pillow. ‘Leave me. Please, leave me.’

  ‘Megan—’

  ‘Please go!’

  She was allowed out of hospital a week later. Her visitors had been numerous, although she had seen no more of Jerome—at her request. His flowers had been turned away too, and after this rejection he didn’t send any more.

  Megan hadn’t even been allowed out of hospital for Roddy’s funeral, although her mother and Brian had attended. Her mother had told her afterwards that Jerome looked terrible, his face haggard, very gaunt. Megan hadn’t wanted to hear how he looked; she didn’t care any more.

  Although completely recovered she was shrouded in a lethargy that refused to be shaken off; all the fight had gone out of her. Roddy had been obsessed with her, she knew that now, and that love had made him want to remove all that stood in the path of him getting her, not caring who or what he destroyed in the process. He had been sick—a love like that was like a disease. But this was no comfort to her; nothing could ease her guilt for not being able to love him.

  ‘Will you see Paul, love?’ Her mother came into the lounge, her expression anxious.

  Megan knew her behaviour was worrying her family, and in the week since she had come out of hospital she had tried to be cheerful. That she had failed to fool them was obvious.

  ‘Yes, I’ll see him.’ she gave a wan smile. ‘You go off to your meeting at the Institute. I know there’s one being held tonight.’

  ‘I’m not going out and leaving you on your own.’

  ‘But I’m not alone, Mum, Paul will be here to keep me company. Please go,’ she pleaded. ‘I’d like you to.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ Still her mother hesitated.

  ‘Very,’ she nodded.

  She hadn’t been left alone for a moment since she came out of hospital, and she had begun to wonder if her family suspected she would do something desperate.

  ‘Please, Mum,’ she begged as her mother still hesitated.

  ‘All right, then. But you make sure Paul stays with you until Brian or I get home.’

  ‘Yes, Mum,’ Megan smiled.

  Paul came in a few minutes later; he was a regular visitor; their relationship was back on a friendly footing. ‘Wendy sent you some magazines,’ he put them down on the table. ‘She’ll be round tomorrow. She’s out with Bill tonight.’

  ‘Bill Pope?’ Megan asked interestedly.

  ‘Mm,’ he nodded. ‘They’re thinking of getting engaged at Christmas. Bill’s asked Dad if they can, anyway.’

  ‘Oh, that’s lovely. He’s a nice boy.’

  ‘She could have done worse,’ he agreed grudgingly.

  Megan smiled at his expression. ‘I’m happy for them.’

  ‘So am I.’ He sighed. ‘I just wish—’

  ‘Please, Paul!’ her voice was sharp.

  ‘Sorry,’ he bit his lip guiltily. ‘Did you love him very much?’

  She frowned. ‘Roddy?’

  ‘Well, of course Roddy.’

  ‘But I—Who said I loved him?’ she asked indignantly.

  ‘Everyone. The way you’ve been acting, the way you’ve gone in on yourself,’ he shrugged. ‘It’s obvious.’

  Not to her! She was upset and sickened at Roddy’s death, but she had been unable to love him. At the end she had been able to pity him, had been able to understand his sick obsession with her, but she still feared him. Not that she for one moment imagined the accident had been anything but that, but she had realised on that drive back that Roddy would never stop his pursuit of her, and that he would stop at nothing to get her.

  ‘Are you going back to the hospital?’ Paul changed the subject.

  ‘I have to go to the doctor for a final check-up, but—’

  ‘I didn’t mean that. Brian told me that you’ve had a letter from the hospital authorities clearing your name, that you can resume your studies as soon as you feel well enough to.’

  ‘
I’m not going back,’ she said jerkily. ‘I—I couldn’t, not now.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘I’m not going back!’ She had received the letter only that morning, and had ripped it up into tiny shreds. Her clearance had had nothing to do with Roddy’s death, they stated that categorically, and yet somehow for her the stigma was still there. Tracy wanted to go back, but Megan didn’t feel able to cope with that sort of work at the moment.

  ‘Are you going back to work at The Towers, then?’ Paul persisted.

  ‘No!’ She went pale. She couldn’t even begin to think about seeing Jerome again, she hated him and his opinion of her. When he had walked out of that hotel room he had walked out of her life for good, had left her to Roddy. She didn’t want anything to do with him now; she hadn’t wanted his roses at the hospital, and wanted him even less. ‘I’m not sure I still have a job there,’ she added tightly.

  Paul frowned. ‘Has Mr Towers sacked you?’

  ‘I don’t think he can. We have a deal, you work for us and I work for him.’

  ‘And as I’m still here that means you still have a job there.’

  Megan’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. ‘Who put you up to this, Paul? Why this sudden interest in when I intend going back to work?’

  Colour darkened his cheeks. ‘I just thought—’

  ‘Don’t you mean Brian thought?’ she cut in sharply. ‘He’s been asking me pretty much the same questions the last few days.’

  ‘He’s worried about you, we all are.’

  ‘I can’t think why.’ She stood up, moving restlessly about the room, her figure almost wraithlike; her loss of weight over the last two weeks had been enormous. ‘I’ll be fine in a couple of weeks.’

  ‘You can’t mope about here for ever,’ he insisted. ‘You have to go out and face the world some time.’

  ‘I’ve been out.’

  ‘Down to the local shop,’ he scorned. ‘Wow!’

  ‘I’m still feeling weak,’ she defended.

  ‘So you ought to, you don’t eat enough to keep a bird alive.’

  ‘I manage,’ she said stiffly.

  ‘Megan—’

  ‘Please, Paul,’ she put up a hand to her aching temple, ‘I don’t want to hear any more.’

  He instantly looked concerned. ‘Are you feeling ill?’

  ‘Just a headache. But I think I should lie down. Would you mind …’