A Most Unlikely Hero, Vol. 1

by Brandon Varnell

  Is… is she so touched that I called her my friend that it brought her to tears?

  What had this girl gone through that she would cry over someone calling her a friend?

  In that moment, Alex made a promise to himself: He would protect this girl, not just because that was what heroes did, but because he wanted to protect her.

  However, for now, he needed to make dinner.

  Jasmine had left her brother before they reached the shuttle stop that would take them home. Her destination: Alexander’s house.

  Unlike her, Alexander lived in the outer district, the so-called outlying residential sector outside of Mars City. The outlier district was actually the largest district of Mars City. It surrounded the entire crater—a district in the shape of a donut. Because of this, there were a lot of warp points here, which allowed children to reach Atreyu Academy without walking, should they choose to use them.

  Alexander’s house was not near a warp point, and she was close enough that using one would have been pointless anyway. She walked along the canal. It was one of several dozen. She’d been told by her teachers that the canals were used to recycle water, though she didn’t know the specifics. As she was walking, she caught sight of something that made her blood boil.

  It’s that trollop! And she’s with Alexander!

  Indeed, walking several feet away was Gabrielle and Alexander. Jasmine couldn’t keep from gritting her teeth as she saw them both laugh at something that Alexander had said. She was too far away to hear, but whatever Gabrielle said in return made Alexander’s smile grow even wider.

  That thieving little trull… she is clearly deceiving Alexander!

  “Don’t worry, Alexander! I, the Queen of Justice, shall rescue you from that foul woman’s machinations! Oh ho ho ho ho!”

  As Jasmine laughed, she never noticed the group of people walking near her, who, upon hearing her laughter, quickly took several steps back.

  Alex suddenly stopped walking and turned around. He frowned when, upon looking behind him, he saw no one there.

  “Is something wrong, Alex?” Gabrielle asked.

  “No…” Alex said after several seconds. “There’s nothing wrong.”

  Alex turned around and started walking again. Their conversation picked up where it had left off. They were discussing the finer points of wormhole theory.

  “Wormhole theory is fine for basic computation and short distance travel, but it’s a very outdated concept.”

  “I’m not sure how I feel about you calling humanity’s second greatest discovery outdated, though I won’t deny that you’re correct. Half the reason humans haven’t left this solar system is because the next one over is too far for our ships to reach.”

  “Every Angelise vessel relies on dimensional travel. It’s great because we don’t need to have exact calculations. Because we travel through a gateway set between dimensions, we’re out of phase with the rest of the universe, so we don’t need to worry about accidentally traveling through a star or into a planet.”

  “And now I feel like you’re bragging,” Alex joked. He actually loved hearing her talk about the scientific theories that her people had come up with.

  Suddenly feeling a pair of eyes on him again, Alex turned around. He frowned. There was no one there.

  “Strange,” Alex murmured. “I could have sworn someone was following us…”

  “Alex?” Gabrielle called out to him.

  Shaking his head, Alex caught up to Gabrielle and continued their conversation.

  7

  Jasmine sighed in relief when Alexander turned around and hurried to catch up with the tramp. That had been too close. Had she been any slower, he would’ve discovered her for sure.

  I’d forgotten how perceptive he is of his surroundings.

  She should probably tail him from further away, and she needed to make sure that she was always behind something. It wouldn’t be good if she was caught. She didn’t want to explain what she was doing to Alexander, not until she’d gotten dirt on the trollop who was extorting his kindness.

  Don’t worry, Alexander. I’ll free you from her vile clutches!

  Jasmine followed them, constantly keeping herself hidden behind something; a pole, a wall, other people. Alexander and Gabrielle eventually reached the Ryker residence. Alexander’s house, like the other houses, was surrounded by a wall, and the only way in was through the gate. Jasmine waited for several seconds before crouching down and sneaking up to the gate. She then peered through it just as Alex and Gabrielle went inside.

  One. Two. Three.

  Opening the gate, Jasmine slipped inside and walked up to the front door. She didn’t go through the door, which would have been foolish. Instead, she remained pressed against the wall and slipped around the back.

  She would find some dirt on that Gabrielle if it was the last thing she did!

  8

  “I’m home!” Alex called out as he walked into the house.

  “I’m home, too!” Gabrielle said cheerily.

  “Welcome back,” a call came from inside the living room. Alice. She hadn’t even come out to greet him, and, knowing her, she was probably watching Titan Girls.

  Alex shook his head at his sister’s laziness before turning to Gabrielle. “Would you like to take a shower before dinner?”

  “Sure!” Gabrielle cheered. “Would you like to take a shower with me?”

  Alex was prepared for the question, and he managed to adequately mask his blush. “I’ll pass, thanks. I need to make dinner, remember?”

  “Oh… okay.” Gabrielle looked depressed. He still couldn’t fathom why.

  “Why don’t you ask Alice if she wants to take a shower?” he suggested, if only to keep her from looking so sad.

  Gabrielle perked up. “That’s a great idea. Alice! Would you like to take a shower with me?”

  “No!” came the immediate response.

  Gabrielle’s shoulders slumped as an aura of depression exuded from her. Alex could practically see it, a dark miasma that reminded him of fog drifting off of her like a physical manifestation of her sadness.

  “Why doesn’t anyone want to take a bath with me?” Gabrielle whined.

  “Common decency?” Alex suggested, not sure whether to be amused or disturbed.

  “I don’t know what that is,” Gabrielle confessed. “But, isn’t it more fun to take a bath with others than it is to take one alone? My sisters and I always took baths together.”

  “Those are your sisters,” Alex pointed out. “It’s not weird since it’s family.”

  “Does that mean you and your sister take baths together?” Gabrielle asked.

  “Hell no, we don’t!” Alice shouted from the living room.

  “We used to when we were younger,” Alex said. “I had to bathe her until about six years ago, but we haven’t taken a bath together in a long time.”

  They’d been on hard times back then. Alex had been too young to properly take care of his sister, though he’d done his best. Honestly, if it wasn’t for Selene’s parents, they would have been in real trouble. Mr. and Mrs. Metronome had been lifesavers. Comman—Karen had as well, now that he thought about it.

  “Don’t tell her that!” Alice screamed.

  “Why did you stop?” Gabrielle asked.

  Alex stared oddly at the alien girl, who’d tilted her head, her lips set in a confused frown. “Uh, because we outgrew it? Seriously. Brothers and sisters should not be taking baths together at this age… even if we’re not actually related by blood, especially since we’re not related by blood.”

  “Not related by blood?”

  “Yeah… Alice and I aren’t actually related. My dad married her mom about… I wanna say… was it… twelve… no, thirteen years ago?” Alex rubbed his head, which began pounding the longer he tried to remember when his father had gotten married.

  “Alex?”

  “It’s nothing…” Alex said after a moment. “Anyway, when my dad married Alice’s mom,
we’d both already been born.”

  “Oh.”

  “Anyway, why don’t you take a shower? I’m going to prepare dinner.”

  “Kay!”

  Her previous depression forgotten, Gabrielle bounded up the stairs with seemingly limitless energy. Shaking his head, Alex walked into the living room, where his sister was watching Titan Girls.

  “Shouldn’t you be doing homework?”

  “I’m already done.”

  “So if I went upstairs and looked through your desk, I’d find your homework finished.”

  “Yep.”

  Alex paused. If she’d been lying, there would’ve been a second of hesitation in her response. “All right, but I want to look over your homework after dinner.”

  Alice released an exasperated groan, but nodded. “Fine.”

  Ruffling Alice’s hair as he passed her, Alex headed into the kitchen. It was time to start cooking.

  9

  Alexander’s house was set up like a normal house from Earth. It had a backyard and a porch with a sliding plasteel door.

  Jasmine needed to crawl on her belly to hide the fact that she was there. It was humiliating, but she didn’t want Alice, who was sitting on the couch watching the holovid, to see her. She soon passed the porch and reached a window, from which the clanging of pots and pans echoed.

  Peering into the window, Jasmine almost sighed when she laid eyes on Alexander. He was dressed in normal civilian clothes. His pants fit him nicely, and his T-shirt showed off his broad shoulders.

  He looked like he was preparing ingredients. She didn’t know what he was cooking, but it didn’t really matter. A cooking Alexander was an attractive Alexander.

  “Hm?”

  Jasmine squeaked and ducked when Alexander turned his head in her direction. She quickly crawled to the other side of the house and hid just as he poked his head outside. Peeking out from around the corner, she watched as he looked at the yard.

  “Strange,” he muttered, “I could have sworn I saw someone out here.”

  After another second had passed, Alexander retracted his head and went back inside. Jasmine scrambled over to the window. She didn’t look inside. Alexander had proven that he could sense her presence when she was looking at him.

  What should I do? I want to find some dirt on that trollop, but Alexander is right before me. I may never get another chance!

  Jasmine had never felt so conflicted in her life. She wanted to sneak into the house, find out where that trollop was staying, and search her room for evidence of wrongdoing. However, she also wanted to peek through the window and watch Alexander while he cooked.

  W-why am I being forced to make such a difficult choice?!

  “Alex!”

  Fortunately, the choice was taken out of her hands when Gabrielle’s cheerful voice rang out from inside. Jasmine forgot all about how he’d almost seen her and raised her head to peek through the window again.

  10

  Alex felt like someone was watching him. There was no evidence to suggest that he was, in fact, being watched. However, several times within the past few minutes, ever since he and Gabrielle had walked home, he’d felt like there were eyes on him. It was disconcerting.

  He’d checked the window once already when he’d felt the eyes on him again. No one had been there, so he’d gone back to setting up ingredients.

  He placed the pan on the stove, heated it up, added oil, and then let it sit. While he waited for the oil to start sizzling, he sliced up the chicken and added it into a bowl filled with seasonings. He’d just added the chicken into the pan when Gabrielle burst into the room with her usual zeal.

  “Alex!”

  “What is it—gurk!”

  Gabrielle was wearing nothing—almost nothing. She wore a towel, which did an adequate job of covering her naughty bits, but it still didn’t leave much to the imagination. It conformed around her body, revealing nothing but showing everything.

  Alex turned around, squeaking as he covered his crotch with his hands. He didn’t want her to see what she had done to him. “W-what are you doing down here in nothing but a towel?!”

  “We’re all out of shampoo,” Gabrielle stated, either ignoring or not paying attention to his words. “Do you know where I can find some more?”

  “T-there should be some on the top shelf in the changing room.”

  “Top shelf. Got it. Are you sure I can’t convince you to take a bath with me? We could wash each other’s backs.”

  For just a moment, Alex allowed his imagination to run wild.

  I sat on the stool, nothing but a towel covering my modesty. I could feel Gabrielle as she used her breasts to wash my back. Her nipples rubbing against my body created goosebumps on my skin and sent shivers down my spine. Her soft hands caressing my abdominals and chest drove me wild. I couldn’t take this anymore!

  “See, Alex? Isn’t it better to take a bath together?” Gabrielle asked.

  “It is,” Alex admitted. “But, I think there’s something missing.”

  “What’s that?”

  Quicker than Gabrielle could comprehend, Alex spun around, wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her onto his lap.

  “I haven’t washed you yet,” Alex said, his voice smooth and articulate.

  Gabrielle’s cheeks lit up in a blush, but she smiled and gave him a coy look. “Be sure to wash me thoroughly.”

  “Oh, I will. Every nook and cranny.”

  “Alex?”

  “...”

  “Are you listening?”

  “...”

  “I think the food is burning.”

  “What? —Oh, crap!”

  Alex snapped out of his daydream and rushed over to the stove. The scent of burnt chicken invaded his nose, causing it to wrinkle even as he fought the miniature inferno to save his food. In the end, he did manage to save a bit of it, but the vast majority was blackened, burnt, and beyond recognition.

  “Ugh… this is just great,” Alex sighed. How could he have let himself get so caught up in a delusion that he’d let his food get burnt? “Now I’ve got to throw this all away.”

  “Can I help you get rid of that?” Gabrielle offered.

  Alex looked at Gabrielle—until he remembered that she was essentially naked and turned away. “How?”

  “With this!” Gabrielle once more activated her floating menu and selected something. There was a flash of light, which died down to reveal…

  “Mr. Recycle Doggy?” Alex asked.

  “Mr. Recycle Doggy 2.0,” Gabrielle corrected. “I’ve made some modifications so he can now eat food.”

  “When did you have time to do this?”

  “I did it before we left this morning.”

  “Oh…”

  Alex’s curiosity overrode the fact that a beautiful and naked girl was standing in front of him. He knelt down next to her, studying the recycling AI device with eyes that… saw nothing different than the last time he looked at it.

  “Can this really recycle food?” he asked.

  “Yep! Just put the food on the ground, and he’ll get rid of it.”

  The idea of seeing this thing in action was too tempting for Alex to pass up, so he set the pan of burnt food in front of Mr. Recycle Doggy. Gabrielle, meanwhile, pushed a button on its head.

  “All right, Mr. Recycle Doggy! Eat that food!”

  Mr. Recycle Doggy’s eyes lit up. It looked at the food. Then it looked at Gabrielle. Back to the food. Back to Gabrielle. The food one more time. Gabrielle. Then, it jumped.

  “Kya!”

  On Gabrielle.

  Alex felt a moment of panic as Mr. Recycle Doggy ate Gabrielle’s towel, leaving her stark naked.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?! Get off her!” he shouted at the creature, while simultaneously trying not to stare at the now naked and befuddled Gabrielle.

  Unfortunately, his shouting made him the unwilling recipient of Mr. Recycle Doggy’s attention.

  “Uh-
oh.”

  “Arf! Arf!”

  “W-wait a minute! What are—my clothes!!”

  It didn’t take long before Alex was also bereft of clothes. Left with no other option, he covered his crotch as if doing so would somehow protect his modesty.

  It didn’t.

  11

  Jasmine stared in shock as Alexander’s clothing was eaten. She’d always had trouble taking her eyes off him, but now, bare as the day he’d been born, she couldn’t tear her gaze away.

  Oh…

  Her cheeks flushed. She’d completely forgotten about Gabrielle. Her breathing became heavy. She dropped her gaze from Alexander’s broad shoulders to below his back. A strange heat pooled between her thighs.

  That’s, um…

  She was sure there was a word to describe how Alexander looked right now, but for some reason, the word escaped her. Actually, she wasn’t thinking about much of anything, aside from how nice Alexander’s ass was.

  “Arf! Arf!”

  However, Jasmine had forgotten all about the strange dog-shaped machine, which was now staring at her with its maliciously glowing eyes.

  “Arf! Arf!”

  The machine dog leapt at her!

  “KYA!”

  Jasmine stumbled back just as the wall exploded and the strange dog machine leapt out.

  12

  Alex and Gabrielle stared at the wall—what was left of the wall. Neither one of them spoke for the longest time. Alex didn’t know what to say, and Gabrielle seemed despondent that Mr. Recycle Doggy had run off.

  “Did someone just scream ‘kya?’” he asked. Gabrielle didn’t answer.

  Seconds later, the door to the living room opened, and Alice rushed in. “Hey, Bro. What’s with all the noise? Are you almost ready with din… ner…?”

  She stared at Alex and Gabrielle, who stared back without blinking. Alex wondered why his sister looked so disgusted, but then he felt a sudden draft and remembered something important.

  Mr. Recycle Doggy had eaten his clothes.

  “Ah,” he started, “I can explain this.”

  “Sorry to bother you two!” Alice said, slamming the door closed before he could explain why he and Gabrielle were naked.