Falling for Forever (Before Forever)

by Melissa Chambers

  Watching Jenna dance with the most popular guy in school is not the way I wanted to spend my Friday night. Shane is a decent-looking guy, and he’s got that whole guitar god thing going on. I’ve got that whole clueless geek thing going on. Hmm, wonder who’s gonna get the girl?

  Not that I’m trying to get the girl. I can’t be thinking in those terms. It’s good she’s with Shane. Keep the two of them involved with and focused on each other…and not the competition. I’ve got to beat both of them. I can’t let anything steal my focus…definitely not a pretty face…and body…and an ability to make me smile all the time.

  Greta pulls me out for a dance to a peppy song. I don’t do pep, so I know I look like a moron trying to do something between dancing and standing.

  Shane leans in to Jenna’s ear, saying something. Just the idea of them in their perfect symmetry together makes me want to hurl. The way he tightened his grip on her at the selfie station, I thought I was going to chip a tooth clenching my teeth.

  She shakes her head at Shane and waves him off. He looks disappointed but continues dancing. She grabs his shoulders and moves in toward him.

  If she kisses him, I’m leaving.

  She mouths what looks like the word go, and then she turns him around and gives him a playful shove away from her. He smiles and waves.

  She dances by herself for a minute, and then Jasmine brings her into our group. She moves in with ease, arms up in the air, her red dress hugging every inch of her thin body. She swings her hips and presses her back against Jasmine who plays along, dancing back to back with her, their asses bumping up against one another’s. I need a drink…or a cold shower.

  The deejay fades the music and starts yapping about something, which sends everyone off the dance floor. The girls head in the direction of the bathroom…all except for Jenna. She makes her way toward me.

  “Are we having fun yet?” she asks me.

  I shrug. “I guess so. Looks like you are.”

  A slow song starts. She scrubs her hands together. “I love this song.” She closes her hands in front of her, watching the couples connect on the dance floor.

  I guess this is my cue to ask her to dance, but for some reason, I can’t force out the question. “Where’s Shane?” I ask.

  “Getting high outside.”

  Figures. “You didn’t want to go?” I ask.

  She shrugs. “Not really my scene. You can go join him though if you want. I’m sure he’d share.”

  I shrug like I was actually considering it for a second, then I wonder what the hell I’m doing. “I don’t really do that. My friends do, but I don’t need to give my dad any free ammo.”

  We point at each other at my reference to our song.

  She pinches at my knee. “So what ammo does your dad have against you?”

  I inhale a deep breath. “He thinks I’m a piece of shit musician. I don’t need to perpetuate the stereotype.”

  She giggles. “Yeah. You’re an amazing composer, from what I hear. I don’t think that’s exactly the same as sleeping in your van while you travel from bar to bar doing shows across the country.”

  “To him it might as well be,” I say. “He…” I trail off. This isn’t the time or the place.

  “He what?” she asks.

  “Nothing. Doesn’t matter.”

  She cocks her head to the side, folding her arms over her chest. “I told you about my mom leaving me for over three years. I think you can tell me pretty much whatever you need to about your dad.”

  I smile in appreciation of her encouragement. “It’s not anything like that. You’ll probably think it’s lame in comparison.”

  She shrugs. “I probably won’t.” She looks into my eyes with deep concern, giving me her full attention, making me feel like I’m the only one on the planet who matters at this moment.

  I look away, gathering my courage, and then I meet her gaze. “My dad wants me to go to Emory and study business. I want to go to Belmont and study music and music business. But he won’t pay if I go there.”

  She shrugs. “Then screw him. Pay for it yourself.”

  “It’s expensive,” I say.

  She backhands me on the arm. “Aren’t you all smart and this fantastic composer? I’m sure you can get scholarships.”

  “Some, yes. But it’s not going to begin to cover everything.”

  She nods and motions at me. “Which is why you need to win the competition.”

  I raise my eyebrows in response.

  “Ah,” she says. “Then you better start trying to think of a different way.”

  I shrug with a smile. “Maybe so. Why do you need the money?”

  She holds up both hands, palm sides up. “L.A., baby. I’m going as soon as I graduate. I’ll have to get a waitressing job, but stuff is expensive out there. I don’t want to get caught working so much just to pay for some shitty apartment. I need as much in the bank as possible when I arrive. I have some already from working karaoke gigs this past summer, but it’s not going to last.”

  “You worked karaoke?” I ask.

  She nudges some confetti on the floor with her shoe. “I worked for this old married couple who had a karaoke business. My job was to liven up the crowd, sing a song or two, prance around. You know, pretty much my dream job.”

  I huff a laugh. “And they paid you?”

  She nods, eyes wide. “Good money. I’d have done it for free. I was glad they never figured it out.”

  “Maybe you can find a gig like that in L.A. instead of waitressing.”

  “Oh no,” she says. “I’m going big, or I’m not going at all.”

  I smile. “I have no doubt.”

  She pulls her sweater off and tosses it on a folding chair. “So why does your dad hate musicians so much? Did one steal his high school girlfriend?”

  I huff a laugh. “The opposite, I think. My mom was a harpist. She put herself through school waiting tables and playing the harp. But she hasn’t played since she married my dad.”

  “How come?”

  I sit on the stool I’ve claimed as my own this evening. “I’ve always wondered that. It’s the one point of contention in their marriage. He can’t stand it when she hangs with her old college music friends, and that includes Kelly, who owns The Glass Vortex.”

  “So how are you able to go to our school if your dad hates music?”

  “As soon as my mom saw how much I loved it and started composing it when I was younger, she put her foot down with him. I think he’s afraid to face off with her about it. There’s nothing on the planet my dad loves as much as he loves my mom.”

  She gives a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “That’s so funny. My dad’s the same way.”

  She closes her arms over her chest and glances around the room, seeming agitated, and I know I’ve hit some sort of sore spot with her. I look for a subject change.

  “So that apartment we were at earlier…that place is pretty cool. Nat and I may want to live there at some point. It’s near Belmont.”

  “Yeah, it is. Nat’s going there with you?” she asks.

  “Yeah, we’ve sort of been planning it forever. So your dad doesn’t let you stay there alone?” I ask.

  She waves a hand. “He still thinks I’m twelve. Nicolette was trying to make it where we all had this big slumber party there tonight. Hanging beforehand was my compromise. My dad would kill me.”

  I narrow my eyes at her. “So you don’t drink, and you don’t let a group of mixed company spend the night together.”

  “This surprises you?” she asks.

  “A little.”

  She shoves me. “It shouldn’t. I’m a good kid.”

  I bust out in a laugh.

  She puts her hands on her hips. “I am. Screw you.”

  “You’re a daddy’s girl is what you are. You won’t do anything that would disappoint him.”

  She shrugs. “I’m not ashamed of that.”

  “You shouldn’t be,” I say.

&
nbsp; She squeezes her thumb and forefinger together. “I was this close to moving to L.A. by myself on my eighteenth birthday. I’m pretty sure that would have disappointed him.”

  “But you didn’t,” I say.

  “You have no idea how close I was though.” She gives me a challenging stare.

  I nod. “I believe you.”

  “Good,” she says with a smile. It’s gentle and real.

  My heartbeat speeds up as I decide to take a hint of a risk. “I’m glad you didn’t go.”

  She lifts her eyebrows. “You are?”

  “Little bit,” I say. “I may have had to partner with slacker guy in Music class, if not.”

  She raises her chin. “What is your satisfaction rate with your current partner?”

  I make a show of tapping my chin. “Five point five.”

  She takes a step back. “Excuse me?”

  “We’ve got to leave room for improvement,” I say.

  She grins. “So are you bummed we’re not having a co-ed sleepover tonight at my apartment? We could have gotten in that game of Suck and Blow.”

  I roll my eyes. I might not have minded playing if she was sitting next to me. “What are we, twelve?”

  She harrumphs. “Any boy who needs Suck and Blow to kiss a girl lacks some serious game. If a boy wants to kiss a girl, he should just do it.”

  She stares at me in challenge. I want to kiss her…desperately. But I can’t give in and ruin everything. I can’t date a competitor in the talent show I’ve got to win. I have to see her every day in Music class. Kissing her would make things seriously weird for that. I catch a glimpse of Greta and Nicolette coming toward us.

  “Hello, party people.” Nicolette takes Jenna’s hand. “Come on. We’re dancing.”

  “Dancing with a dancer,” she says. “What an honor.” She smiles at me before heading out to the floor with Nicolette. Jasmine joins the two of them, but Greta doesn’t. She looks down at the floor as she tucks her hair behind her ear. She sits in a foldout chair, looking stressed as hell.

  I walk over to her and try to sit, but she acts like she’s going to move one down if I do, so I back off.

  “Is everything okay?”

  She nods, attempting a smile. “Yeah. It’s good.”

  I jab a thumb behind me. “Do you want to walk outside and get some air?”

  She furrows her brow. “Why?”

  I take a step back and shake my head. “Just thought you looked like you could use some.”

  She makes eye contact with Nicolette who raises her eyebrows and does a little motion with her head.

  Greta stands up. “Can we…do you want to…can we go this way?”

  She points to the door that leads into the school hallway. I’m really not sure what’s going on with her, but I think at the least she needs out of this gym. “Okay.”

  She crosses her arms over her chest, and I follow her. As we pass Nicolette, she gives Greta an encouraging smile. My brain starts to piece together what’s happening, and a shot of nervous energy permeates through my chest.

  Am I being led to the theatre?

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jenna

  As Miles follows Greta out the door to the hallway, I can’t help wondering where they’re going. Not that it’s any of my business, and not that I should care…or do care.

  Shane and his buddies come in from outside a little loopier than before they left. He walks over to me, his eyes red and glassy. “Hey,” he says, all droopy-eyed smile.

  “Hey,” I say, a little wary.

  He takes my hand and spins me around, which I usually like, but not when I’m not sure if it’s motivated by a want to make me feel special or by a three-inch blunt.

  His friends surround the two of us. All the guys look to be in the same shape he’s in, and the girls seem to think it’s normal. God knows I’m not a prude, but I can’t help being irritated by the whole thing. I know I told him to go, and that I didn’t care, but that was before. Now that I’ve just watched Miles and Greta leave together and I’m surrounded by his bitchy friends, I kind of care.

  As the music moves into a slower groove, I’m washed up in a dance huddle with the cotillion cluster.

  One of Shane’s guy friends is all hands on an auburn-haired cotillion girl. She takes his hand and walks toward the same door Greta and Miles went through. She waves back in our direction before leaving the gym.

  Bianca puts her hands over her heart. “Her first time, girls. I’m so happy for her.”

  They all smile like they’re up to something. Trust me, I know the smile.

  Curiosity is getting the better of me as I remember the thing that Nat and Nicolette were talking about earlier tonight. I catch the eye of a blonde cotillion girl. “The theatre initiation, right?” I ask her.

  Bianca steps in closer. “That’s right,” she says, answering for her friend, which I assume happens often.

  I nod. “Cool.” I look back toward the door, thinking of Greta and Miles.

  “I assume you haven’t been initiated yet,” Bianca says. “I mean, you’ve been here what, a week?”

  “Two,” I say.

  She offers a hand toward the door. “Be my guest.” She stares at me in challenge.

  I huff a laugh, which comes out sounding nervous. “I’m good.”

  Bianca looks at the blonde girl with a raised eyebrow that hints at an eye roll.

  My heartbeat picks up speed. “I mean…your friend just went back. Is that a thing here? Gang bangs?”

  What’s wrong with me? The reason I’m not doing that has nothing to do with who else is back there.

  Bianca waves me off. “Oh no. There’s plenty of room back there. Trust me.”

  There’s that look of challenge again. She’s an expert. She’s probably done this eighteen times…or she wants me to think she has.

  I shrug again. “I’m good.”

  Bianca nods in the direction of Shane who is laughing with his buddies. “If you’re going to keep him for any amount of time, you better be good.” She and her squad laugh like every one of them has been there and done that.

  I’m starting to get really irritated with this bullshit. “Shane and I are friends.”

  Bianca looks me up and down. “Well, that’s one way to play it. I’ve done the whole hard to get thing plenty of times. But I can tell you from experience, it doesn’t work with these guys.”

  I cluck my tongue. “Good to know.” I look around for Jasmine or even Nicolette. I turn back around just in time to catch Bianca exchanging a look with another girl like they’re conspiring about something.

  The other girl clears her throat. “Shane said you’re like totally hot. I think he’s really into you.”

  “Yeah,” another one says, “but he’s also sort of into Maddie.” They all do that eyebrow raise squint thing like this is really bad news for me.

  Bianca nods at the door. “I bet if you take him to the theatre, you’ll be able to lock him down.”

  Why are they all so interested in this conversation…in trying to get me to take Shane to the theatre? Why do they care? I scan these girls, trying to figure them out, and I notice one of them holds their phone at a strange angle, and she doesn’t scroll the screen at all. Is she videoing me?

  I let out an involuntary huff of air as this all becomes so picture perfect. I swallow hard, my nerves threatening to get the better of me. I need to walk away…right this minute. Whatever I say is going to be featured in a video that will be posted immediately on every social app that’s out there.

  I force a smile, trying to control my trembling legs. God I want to beat this bitch down with every fiber of my being, but I can’t be stupid…not with everything that’s on the line right now with me at this school. I nod. “Good information. Thanks.” I squint at Bianca. “What is that…on your upper lip?”

  She frowns and swipes at it. “What?”

  I stand up straight. “Oh, sorry. I think it was just a booger hanging o
ut.” I turn around and head straight for the door.

  “Hey,” Shane slurs and grabs for my arm. I jerk it away from him and keep walking. “Where are you going?” he shouts.

  Adrenaline courses through my blood with each step. Between knowing Miles went off somewhere private with Greta, these bitches trying to ruin me, and Shane being blazed, I’ve reached my shit limit for the night. I push open the heavy door and realize my phone’s inside in my purse on the fold-out chairs. Dammit.

  I turn around to go back in, and Shane’s headed toward me. “What’s going on?”

  “Your friends tried to get me on video blowing you. That’s what’s going on.”

  He seems to sober up 10 percent. “What?”

  I fling a hand toward the gym. “Bianca and her seven dwarfs in there trying to shame me into doing some stupid initiation ritual, and when that didn’t work they tried to make it out like I had competition with some girl named Maddie.”

  He looks confused. “Who’s Maddie?”

  I narrow my gaze and stab a finger at him. “Are you in on that? Has this whole friendship of ours been a scam to try to get me on video?”

  He blinks, probably too stoned to understand me. “What? No. I’m not in on anything.” He stumbles backward as he tries to focus on me.

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I push him out of my way and head back inside for my phone. I grab my purse and sweater, and he’s right behind me again. I scratch my head and smile, trying not to look pissed off. If they’re still filming me, I don’t want it to look like they got the best of me. I let him catch up and nod and smile as he blathers on.

  “Jenna, I don’t know what’s going on. Can we talk about this?”

  “Mmm-hmm,” I mutter, smiling away. I finally push open the door to outside and let out an exhausted breath.

  Shane runs his hand through his hair. “Look, I don’t know what happened, but I promise you I had nothing to do with any of that.”

  I let my purse drop to the ground and put on my sweater. “Why would you be friends with those awful people, Shane? They’re total bitches. They were going to video a sex tape of us and put it up for the world to see. And these are your people?”

  He drops his posture in defeat, letting out a hard breath. “I…it’s complicated.”