Seasons of Change (Bleeding Angels MC Book 1)

by Stephens, Olivia

  I’m worried that getting any closer to him will make me lose my control, and I don’t think that I could take becoming one of “Jake’s girls.” We’ve been friends for too long; I don’t feel like I could cope with knowing that I was just a one night stand because he was lonely. That’s not how I would ever want things to be between us.

  But Jake’s expression turns from confusion to frustration again as he rakes his fingers through his hair. “Sure, let’s just forget it. That’s been your MO for the past while, Aimee. Hasn’t it?”

  He turns away from me and leans forward on the table, supporting himself with his hands and hanging his head down. I can see his back rising and falling with the deep breaths he’s taking to calm himself down.

  “What is your problem?” I snap at him, reacting without even thinking--something that's gotten disturbingly common with him.

  I stride over to him and grab him on the shoulder, pulling him around to face me. “You’ve been acting all pissed off with me since the bar. First of all, you’re angry at me for not taking a compliment and ignoring a guy who’s checking me out; then you’re angry with me for talking to him when he comes over to flirt with me, and then you’re pissed with me for telling you that I appreciate you looking out for me even though you don’t owe me anything.

  "Then, you kiss me because you’re lonely or confused or scared or whatever the fuck you are, and I do the right thing and give you a free pass, saying we don’t need to talk about what just happened and you’re angry with me again.

  "What the hell? What is it that I’m doing that is pissing you off so much?” I ask, looking up into his dark eyes, challenging him.

  I'm close enough to sense heat coming off of him, and despite my frustrations and confusion that very heat makes me want to dive back into him.

  “You really don’t get it, do you?” Jake shakes his head and barks out an uncharacteristic, harsh laugh.

  “Get what?” I demand. “What’s the obvious thing that I’m clearly too stupid to get? I don’t understand what’s been going on with us recently. We never used to fight and now it seems like we can’t do anything but that!”

  I'm shouting at him, I suddenly realize, marveling at how we’re fighting again. We had never argued like this before. The odd cross word here and there, but never anything like what’s been going on over the past couple of days. I wonder if it’s spelling the end of our friendship. If it’s too delicate to take the pressure that Painted Rock can’t help but put on it.

  Nothing much has ever survived the Bleeding Angels, so I suppose there is no reason I should think our friendship would be any different.

  Jake’s eyes soften a little and I wish that just looking at him didn’t make me want to grab him and taste his lips again. How did he go from being my best friend to someone that I can’t be around without wanting to jump him?

  “Like I said, you’re the smartest person I know, but when it comes to men you really have no idea.” He shakes his head in despair, holding his fingers to his temples like he’s trying to figure out how it’s possible to be so clueless.

  “Jake, would you stop speaking in riddles and just tell me what the heck you’re talking about?” I ask him, getting tired of the guessing game. A ridiculous thought occurs to me. “Is it the kiss? Was I… bad?” I ask, trying not to hold my breath while I wait for an answer.

  “No,” Jake says forcefully, shaking his head and brushing his fingers through his hair again, his standard expression of frustration. “Of course not, you were great… You were perfect, actually.”

  He pauses for a moment and it looks like he’s made a decision. “You are perfect… Always,” he says slowly, staring straight into my eyes and not blinking, like he’s trying to transmit his sincerity through more than just his words.

  “Huh?” I mumble stupidly, unable to say anything more eloquent.

  “You heard me,” Jake says confidently. “It was about time I said it.” He sighs. “I’m not expecting you to say anything back to me, I just wanted to let you know, that’s how I think about you.” He then walks past me to stand over on the other side of the room, leaning against the wall with his bottle of beer, looking relaxed, almost like a weight has just been taken off of him.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  I stand in shock, trying to process what my best friend has just said to me. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions. I don’t want to just assume that his words mean he feels anything close to how I feel when I’m around him. I face him slowly, gathering my courage. I’m either about to make the biggest fool of myself or something wonderful may be about to happen.

  “I think you’re pretty perfect too,” I say quietly, not quite meeting his gaze as I force the words out. I only have to wait for a beat until Jake closes the distance between us and lifts my chin, making me look at him.

  “Say that again,” he coaxes gently, and the earnestness in his face takes all of my nerves away.

  “I said I think you’re pretty perfect too,” I repeat, stronger this time. “Except when you’re being an asshole,” I tease, smiling up at him.

  “Of course, except when I’m being an asshole,” Jake jokes back, his face so close that I can feel his warm breath. I lean in automatically.

  “Which is most of the time,” I say, already half-dazed with desire as Jake dips his head to cover my mouth in a kiss, and I can feel the fireworks go off inside of my body.

  He moves his hands around my waist and pulls me closer to him until our hips are pressed together. His fingers run along the exposed skin in the space where my top and my shorts meet, and I shiver as his touch sends a wave through my entire body.

  I lay my hands over his chest, feeling the pulse of his heartbeat and the hard muscles bunching under my touch. I don’t feel like I ever want to stop kissing him and I wonder how it’s taken me this long to start.

  “What?” Jake asks, concerned as he notices my mind wandering.

  I feel a little breathless, but I’m also desperate to keep kissing him. “I was just thinking how long I’ve known you and wondering why I’ve wasted so much time not kissing you,” I tell him truthfully, and I’m rewarded with the biggest smile that I’ve seen him wearing for a good long while.

  “Well you won’t have to waste any more time, I can guarantee that,” Jake replies, and our lips touch as he presses his mouth to mine, his tongue diving in and out. I moan into his mouth, unable to control myself.

  It’s as if that’s the signal that Jake needs. The sound that told him it’s okay for him to let go. He starts touching me more insistently, sliding his right hand under my top, stroking my spine as he moves his left l down over my shorts, squeezing my ass and making the dull ache between my thighs even more intense.

  Without thinking, I slip my hands under his t-shirt and start tugging it up, touching his hard abs underneath. We pull apart and I rip his shirt off of him as quickly as possible before we’re back on each other, desperate to touch and kiss, needing to be in contact all the time.

  Jake’s hands move up and he brushes his fingers against my breasts and, instantly, my nipples pucker and a new warmth blooms between my thighs. I lift my arms up, signaling Jake to pull my top off. He waits a beat, eyeing me to check that I’m sure. I nod quickly, more certain about this than I have been about anything.

  Whatever else is going on, whatever else is happening around us—right now, I don’t care. All I know for sure is that I need this, and I need him.

  Jake’s hands move over my breasts, feeling the lacy material of my bra and slipping his hand inside, rubbing my nipple with his thumb, first one, and then the other. The roughness of his hands from years of working on cars makes the effect of every touch even more powerful.

  On pure instinct I move my hands down from Jake’s chest towards the band of his jeans, where I can see already the deep V created by his hips that amazingly hot guys always have. I touch his hardness through his jeans and hear a deep growl come from Jake’s chest, as if the sound has
been ripped from him.

  I steal a look up at him and see his eyes are heavy-lidded with need. I can feel him straining against the material of his pants and I start to get to work on the button of his jeans, but Jake stills my hands and I look up at him, confused, wondering if I’ve managed to completely misread the signals.

  He smiles at me and I relax. This isn’t just a guy. This is my best friend, the person that knows me better than anyone else in the world.

  He takes my hands and places them by my side as he kneels down in front of me and starts slowly unbuttoning my denim shorts. His pace is excruciatingly slow and I need to touch him, I need him. So I tangle my fingers in his hair as he slips my shorts down over my hips, leading them all the way to the floor. I step out of them instantly and feel self-conscious of how exposed I am. I’ve never been this undressed with a guy, never gotten this far, and all my hang-ups start filling my head.

  Jake must sense the change in me and he looks and slowly trails kisses along the line of my panties and up over my stomach, then higher, following the line of my breastbone. He skims his hands over my breasts as my breath catches in my throat and kisses the hollow of my throat, trailing kisses up my throat and along my jaw-line until he reaches my lips again. Then he looks straight at me, gazing deep into my eyes.

  “You’re beautiful, Aimee. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he says, holding my face in his hands almost reverently.

  But I can’t look at him. I drop my gaze to the floor, not believing him. “I bet you say that to all the girls,” I joke lamely, suddenly wishing that I had more clothes on.

  “No, I don’t,” Jake says, his jaw set firm. “You’re so gorgeous and you have no idea.” He shakes his head. “Look at what you’re doing to me, for Christ’s sake!” he laughs, taking my hand and pressing it against the bulge in his jeans.

  The hardness sends a jolt of desire through me and I pull his head down to mine, slamming my mouth against his in a kiss. When we pause for breath, we stare at each other and I’m desperate to feel him against me again. But I let Jake take the lead as he takes my hand and walks me towards the bed.

  Unbidden, images of Jake with all the girls I know he’s been with—and many of them most likely on that bed—start coming into my head, and I feel myself freeze up. I know that, for Jake, this may just be another night.

  But for me, this is my first time, and it’s so much more to me than a one-night stand we’ll forget in the morning. As we approach the bed, it hits me that this is really about to happen and I start to panic a little, dragging my heels.

  “Jake, wait,” I say quickly, wishing that I wasn’t so goddam nervous.

  “We don’t have to…” Jake says sweetly, and I know that he really means it. I know that if, right now, I told him that I couldn’t do this, that I didn’t want to, he would do exactly as I ask without making me feel bad or persuading me otherwise. Something a lot of guys would do.

  “I know.” I squeeze his hand, smiling hesitantly up at him. “I want to… It’s just… I’ve never done this before,” I tell him, feeling shyness overcome me again.

  But Jake doesn’t bat an eye; he gathers me up to him, holding me against him and making me feel safe and secure. “I know,” he replies, quietly. “It’s me, remember?” We’ve shared a lot over the years of our friendship; of course he would know that I’m still a virgin.

  “And you still want to?” I ask, more than a little surprised. In my head it didn’t make any sense that a guy with his pick of girls, who clearly has a lot of experience, would want to sleep with someone that has no idea what they’re doing.

  Jake looks intensely into my eyes. “Of course I do, you crazy woman,” he says gently, earnestly. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” I try to quiet the voice in my head telling me that it’s just a line.

  “Then why all the others?” I ask, unable to help myself. I wish that I’d learned how to engage my “brain to mouth” filter.

  “Because I didn’t think I’d ever have a chance with you, not like this,” he says quietly as he leans in to kiss me softly on my lips, and in that moment all of my cares and hang-ups disappear. I don’t want to think about anything else outside of the two of us.

  I take the lead, wanting to show Jake that I’m ready and that I’m sure. I turn so that my back is to the bed and sit down, looking up at him expectantly and taking hold of the buttons of his jeans.

  This time he doesn’t push my hands away, but I can hear the deep breaths he’s taking as I ease his jeans off, letting them fall in a pile on the ground. Then everything starts moving faster. Jake lifts me up, moving me further onto the bed, and he leans over me, supporting himself on his arms as he looks down at me underneath him.

  Jake expertly reaches behind me and unhooks my bra, pulling it off and exposing my small breasts and rosy nipples. I resist the desire to cover myself and instead try to focus on Jake’s face and the way he looks like he’s opening the best Christmas present he’s ever had. He leans down over me and trails kisses over one breast, then the other, pausing to check that I’m okay.

  Whatever he sees on my face, I think it clearly tells him that I’m doing fine. He takes my nipple in his mouth, wetting it with the tip of his tongue and then pulling back, blowing on it gently, first one and then the other. The sensations are driving me insane and I can feel myself getting wetter and wetter between my thighs.

  I wriggle underneath him, trying to get some satisfaction, to dull the ache I can feel in my pussy, but it doesn’t go away. If anything, it gets stronger, and I become aware that I’m breathing hard and moaning as Jake starts to lick and then graze my nipples with his teeth.

  “Jake,” I breathe, not knowing what I want to tell him, just knowing that I need something.

  “Jesus, Aimee, you have no idea how amazing you are,” he says, looking down at me until I reach up to him and pull him on top of me, needing his mouth on mine, needing his body against mine, not wanting anything to separate us.

  I reach between us, touching Jake through his boxers. They cling to his body in the most deliciously sexy way. The man brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “buns of steel.” I palm him through the material and, emboldened by the sounds of need he’s making, I reach inside and touch him, skin to skin.

  Jake’s breathing becomes more ragged and he takes deep gulps of air like he’s trying to control himself as I close my hand over his shaft and squeeze slightly. He lets out a strained groan.

  “Woah,” he says quickly, taking hold of my hand and lifting it above my head, pinning it against the bed. “If you keep doing that, then this is going to be over way too quick,” he tells me with the sexy smile of his.

  It turns me on even more, especially when he starts tracing his hand down the soft underside of my arm, over my breasts and stomach, until he gets to the band of my panties.

  He slips his hand inside the lacy material and I gasp as he touches me. Our eyes lock and the intensity in Jake’s gaze drives me crazy. He stares at me while he stimulates me with his hand, stroking at the wetness between my legs. “Jake, I need… I need,” I say, breathing hard and not able to complete my thought.

  “Soon, Aimee, soon,” he soothes me as he starts stroking me more insistently. I'm getting wetter, something that I didn’t even think was possible, and I push my hips up towards him, abandoning myself to the sensation.

  “That’s it baby,” he breathes warmly, and I'm riding a wave of pleasure that I never want to end.

  Just when I think I can’t take it anymore, Jake shifts position slightly and he inserts two digits inside of me and I hold onto his shoulders as I’m overtaken by feeling. “You’re so wet Aimee, so wet and ready. Absolutely incredible.”

  I make out Jake’s words through the fog of desire that’s overtaken me completely as he moves his fingers inside of me, stroking me and sliding in and out of my slickness.

  “Oh God, Jake,” I pant, heat spreading from my pussy up my abdomen and flushing my chee
ks. “Jake, I’m going to— I’m—” The words choke and die in my throat as my entire body is rocked with pleasure.

  “That’s it baby, come for me,” Jake says, the huskiness in his voice pushing me over the edge as I lose all control, moaning as I come hard, pleasure greater than I ever thought possible exploding within me.

  While I’m riding the wave back to shore, Jake shifts and hovers over me, looking so earnest that I just want to cover his face with kisses. “I don’t know how long I’m going to be able to last,” he says after a moment, looking apologetic. “Are you sure?” he asks, suddenly appearing more nervous than me for once.

  In answer I reach between us and feel his shaft, encased in the rubber he’s retrieved from some corner of the bedroom.

  He probably has piles and piles stashed in every corner of this place, the little voice in my head pipes up. I’m really starting to dislike her.