Bravery
Page 3
My heart explodes in pain, my head hurting, just from his emotions and my emotions mixing together into a combustible concoction. I don’t even have the energy to fight him off, not now, not anymore.
I always knew that I wouldn’t be able to fight him if I got close to him, that’s why I’ve been trying to stay away. I knew I wouldn’t be able to get away if he ever got hold of me.
“Did you think I wouldn’t notice you sneaking around?” His voice is a low rumble, vibrating against my back, sending shivers through my body. “Did you think I’d just forget that you’re hiding from us? From me?” His final words are so low that I’m not sure if I heard or just felt them.
I give in, slumping against him, all my energy gone. I’ve been running on fumes for days, fear, pain and heartache keeping me going, and now they’ve finally run out.
“Let’s get you something to eat, you’re starving. And then I’ve got someone waiting for you in my room.” He takes his hand from my mouth, but doesn’t let me go, instead, he navigates me to the counter and plops me down on it. “Now, you don’t move.” He looks at me, his eyes dark, and not just from the low light in the kitchen. He waits until I nod, hanging my head, before he limps over to the fridge, immediately reminding me of why I shouldn’t be here, why this is a bad idea. “Don’t even think about running. I’m not letting you out of my sight again.” He doesn’t turn around, but I know that he’d grab me the moment I moved, not missing a beat.
I just stare at his back, glaring, but it’s got no energy behind it, just pain. Just my pain. I can’t fight him anymore, I’ve never been able to fight him.
Rune’s holding a big box of eggs in one hand as he’s holding bacon and cheese in his other hand, then he turns around and lets out a soft hum, a soft smile appearing on his lips. “It seems that she’s too impatient to wait for us any longer...” He comes back over as Litha opens the door to the hallway.
She’s wearing one of Finn’s shirts this time, which is only just about long enough to cover her ass as she pads into the kitchen, giving us glimpses of her black thong. Her eyes are on Rune first and then they land on me. “Hey.” Her voice is soft, careful. She comes over, her hands reaching for me, but then she pulls back, her eyes going uncertain. She won’t touch me, because I can feel her emotions when she does, she’s trying to be considerate of me even when I can see her need to touch me in her eyes. “How... How are you?”
I shrug, not sure how to answer her. Then I reach out, taking her hand in mine and holding it tightly. Her love, her fear, her need, they flood me immediately and I gasp, swaying as they hit me. Rune’s hands are immediately there, making sure I don’t fall over. Tears start streaming down my cheeks, my breathing rough and painful, and I grab hold of both of them as much as I can. I can’t deny them anymore, I can’t deny myself anymore. I need them, even if I try to hide it.
This isn’t what I was supposed to be doing. This isn’t what I came here for. I came here for food, to tide me over for a couple of days, so I could hide away long enough so they’d forget about me. But their touches, their love, it’s breaking my mind, making me too raw to even think anymore. I can’t. I can’t.
“I think we need to still another hunger first, before we can think of food.” Rune’s voice vibrates against me and his hands travel over me, sending sensations through my body, sensations my body is craving more than I realised, more than I want to admit. “I’d offer to carry you, but while I can walk around the house without too much pain, I can’t carry anyone yet.” There’s a smile in his voice and I relax just a little, reacting to the easy tone in his voice.
He carefully lifts me off the counter, keeping me close to him, and Litha is holding us both at the same time, wrapped around me and keeping hold of Rune. He guides us to his bedroom, opening the door, and I’m surrounded by everything that is Rune, his scent, his personality, even the perfect temperature of his room, not allowing me to think of anyone but him, of anything but Litha and him. It crowds in my brain, pushing my own thoughts to the back, crowding them out.
Litha pulls me to the bed, crawling on top of it as she tugs me with her, making me sprawl out on top of the soft covers, on top of the soft covers and the mountains of pillows. With a soft groan, Rune crawls on the bed on my other side, his hands on me steady.
“Let’s feed this hunger first.” He pushes his hands under my shirt and takes it off, throwing it to the side, then both their hands are on me, touching me, caressing me, making me lose my mind. I can’t think when their touches crowd my mind with their love, when they flood my system with their love, when they do their best to make me forget everything but them, how much they love me.
“Rune...” It’s the first word I’ve said since I snapped at Finn two days ago, and my voice is rough, gravelly. “Please, no...” He can’t make me change my mind. It’s not safe. He’s in so much pain because of me, it’s because of me. I’m just dragging him down... I’ll just keep hurting him, I’ll keep hurting them.
Then Rune runs his tongue over the pink scar on my ribs, making everything stop instantly. My mind, my breath, it feels like even my heart stopped for a moment, before I turn into a blubbering mess, losing myself in a different way, all the dark emotions pulled to the front, exposed to them right where they can see them. I pull my hands over my face, not able to face them when their intentions are so pure and loving and my thoughts are only dark and destructive.
“That looks recent, when did it happen?” Litha’s voice is soft, sad, but I can’t answer her, my voice locked inside.
“Last summer. He dabbled in black magic.” Rune scrapes his teeth over the scar lightly, the most he’s ever acknowledged that it exists since the night he saved me. “There is a form of black magic —which should only ever be used by trained witches in a coven—” another scrape over the scar, “to protect someone’s family. But, if you use heart-blood of someone from the royal family, it can protect their whole race.”
Litha gasps, her surprise, and also admiration, flooding through me, making my heart hurt even worse. How can she be proud of me? I nearly killed myself out of desperation. I nearly killed myself before I could even get to know her.
“He didn’t have the backing from a coven, too desperate. The fae soldiers were attacking their borders, and he felt like it was the only way to protect everyone. He’d already lost family members that week, leading up to one of the worst attacks all summer.” I can’t stand the feelings Rune is giving me, his love, his dedication, his loyalty, it’s so against everything he’s saying, against everything I know he thinks of how he found me that night. “I stopped him, because it would have been his death. I couldn’t lose him. We couldn’t lose him. We hadn’t even met you, and he was ready to give his life to protect his people the only way he knew...”
Litha pushes at my hands, making me take them away from my face, and then looks down at me, her eyes filled with tears, with pain, but also with a pride I can’t handle right now. She puts her hands to the sides of my face and slowly comes closer until her lips are on mine. Her kiss is intense, filled with love, comforting more than anything. When she pulls back, she keeps my gaze. “I would have still loved you. No matter what would have happened. I would have known and I’d still have loved you. I’ll always love you.”
Her words slide into me, soothing something inside me, something I can’t seem to reach myself, something even Rune has never been able to reach, a little bit of darkness slipping away.
I want to tell her how much I love her, how much I love both of them, but the words won’t come out, locked inside. Locked tightly out of fear. I can’t let the words out, too scared this is all a feverish dream, too scared that I’ll wake up and this will all have fallen apart. I’ll wake up and they’re gone, dead. Wake up and know that I’ve put them all in danger, and they will have died because of me, by my fault...
I want them, but I can’t, not now, not ever. I can’t. There is too much broken... I’m too broken.
5
I keep kissing Kit, trying to get him to relax more, trying to get him to come back to us. My heart hurt when Rune told me how Kit had gotten the scar, how long Kit has been in this much pain, how deeply he’s been hiding it. I don’t need Kit’s ability to feel emotions with his touch, or Rune’s ability to sense our emotions and feelings over a distance, to know what’s going on in Kit’s head. No matter what we tell him, he’ll keep himself locked inside, and we won’t be able to get him back to us, unless we manage to really get him to open up to us again, unless we break him out.
Kit gasps into my kiss, and when I glance down, Rune is kissing him all over his body, wherever he can reach. Kit’s eyes are filled with tears, his eyes dark like a night without stars, but he’s not avoiding my gaze, not actively pulling away from us. Which I guess is progress...
I reach out to Rune, playing with my fingers over his arm, down to his hand as I hold him too, completing the circle, linking all of us together, trying to become one, trying to stop everything from falling apart even more... We’re one, we belong together.
I take my shirt off, too lazy for a bra, again, and sit in just my thong, looking at both guys. Rune sits up awkwardly, because of his leg, but takes his shirt off too, before stripping his sweats off and then his boxer briefs, taking it a step further than me, his cock already hard. We both look at Kit, who is just staring at us, so pained, so confused.
Slowly, I trail my fingers over his chest down, to the top of his jeans, keeping my eyes locked on his and he simply stares at me before he lightly nods as he closes his eyes, relaxing under me just a fraction. I open the button of his jeans, sliding the zipper down, and Rune leans over, covering Kit’s cotton-clad cock with his mouth.
Kit’s hands shoot down, grabbing hold of Rune as he lets out a moan, not to push him away, but to hold him even closer and Kit’s breathing is ragged. I have no idea what’s going on between them, but it’s beautiful to watch. How they feel each other, how they keep holding on to each other, even when they want to run away...
I quickly get Kit’s jeans off him, and Rune gets rid of Kit’s boxer briefs. Then Rune tugs on my hand and pulls me to come up to his position, Kit’s cock between us. Oh, this is fun too.
I reach out, trailing a finger over Kit’s cock, it lightly jumps under my touch, and then wrap my hand around him, pulling a deep moan from him. As I look up, Kit seems so torn between what we’re making him feel and what he’s been getting into his head. Now, if we could only make him forget about that darkness in his mind, and make him accept what we’re giving him...
I lean closer, taking the head of his cock into my mouth, something I’ve never done before, but the way Kit moves under me, I can’t be too bad at it... He’s letting out gasps, moans, grabbing hold of me, his fingers slipping over my skin.
“Litha...” It’s like he’s begging me, and when I look up, he carefully tugs on me, making me come up his body, my knees on the sides of his hips, leaning over him, and then he pulls me down for a kiss.
He’s a great kisser, especially when he’s actually focusing, and his hands roam over my body as he deepens the kiss, teasing me with his tongue, it feels like he’s finally accepted what’s going on, no longer trying to hide from us.
Then, Rune’s hands are tugging on my thong, sliding it off, and I feel very exposed. Exposed, but very hot, especially when I feel his breath on my thigh, right before it disappears.
I almost want to pull away, but Kit holds me, grinning as he gives me another hot kiss.
At least someone is finally out to play...
I focus on Kit, kissing him, touching him, making him feel how much I love him. And then, suddenly, Rune’s mouth is on my pussy, licking me in a way that makes my eyes roll back in my head, it’s that good. I moan, his tongue probing me, before he lightly sucks on my clit. How is he so good at this?
“He’s amazing, right?” Kit’s voice is a hoarse whisper against my ear, before he nibbles on my neck.
I can’t answer him, too lost in sensations now, too lost in what these guys are doing to me. Every time, they give me some new experience and I can’t help but want even more of them. Rune’s mouth is bringing me to orgasm way too fast and I pull away from him, not wanting to come just yet.
Rune’s eyes on me are so hot, and his cock is jutting out in front of him, all proud and hard, very hard, making my pussy clench with need. I reach out to him, wrapping my fingers around him as I carefully sit down on Kit, trapping his cock between our hips, pulling moans and gasps from all of us as I slowly roll my hips and jerk Rune off.
Their hands are on me, touching me, caressing me, and as much as they can, they’re also touching each other, sharing all the sensations and feelings between us, losing ourselves in each other, in the pleasure.
Then Rune’s movements stop and he leans over me, his lips so close to my ear that his lips tickle my skin as he talks. “I think I know just the thing. Trap him between us. Let him feel our love for him so he can’t deny it anymore.” Lust flashes through me at the thought of Kit between us, as I’d been held between them before, but much much hotter...
“What did you...” Kit’s voice is weary as he eyes us both. “I could feel her excitement from whatever you said to her.”
Rune lets out a sexy, rumbling laugh. “Instead of catching her between you and me, we’re catching you between us this time. What do you think?”
Kit’s eyes grow, he’s licking his lips, his breath coming out in short bursts. But he doesn’t deny his need, his want for this. His raw, raw need, raw lust, raw love...
I crawl back to the middle of Rune’s bed and then pull Kit to me, pulling him on top of me. He’s magnificent, the way his body moves, his slim muscles under his skin, and I want him so badly. I wrap my legs around his hips, pulling him even closer to me. “Please...”
He nods, his eyes so dark, so deep, and then nuzzles his face to my neck, hiding what he’s feeling from me, before his hand slides over my hip, a finger dipping in my pussy for just a moment, before I feel his cock pushing against me. I want him, I want him inside me so badly.
“Please...” I will beg if it gets me what I need, and I need him, all of him.
“Love...” His voice is little more than a deep growl as he slowly slides inside me, as he fills me up.
I gasp, my whole body on edge, taking in everything he has to give, giving him back all my love, everything I have to offer. I hold onto him, kissing his shoulder as he rocks inside me, until he’s fully seated. “I love you,” I whisper in his ear, feeling the need to tell him over an over again. “I love you, so much.”
For all his flaws, Kit is pure. He always wants what’s best for everyone, and he’s willing to give himself up for it, but I won’t let that happen, not anymore. I will make sure that he feels as loved and as welcome he makes us feel, that I need him as much as I need any of them, maybe even more...
“He’s almost with us.” Rune leans over Kit, his voice low, rumbling, and when I look up, I see his fear, his fear that we won’t be able to get through to Kit, even in the state he’s in now, vulnerable like this. We have to make this work. We have to, because I feel like this is our only chance, if we mess this up, we’ll lose him for real, we’ll lose him forever. And I can’t lose him. I can’t.
Kit gasps as I feel him get even harder inside me, and he holds onto me tighter, hiding his face in my neck deeper.
Then the bed moves, Rune hovering over us, and I sense Rune’s dragon spirit looking over us. Even if Rune can’t feel his dragon, the way it will always protect us, because we’re his. We’re always his, and they’re always mine, that won’t change, no matter what happens, because we belong together.
Always. Together, always.
6
I can feel Kit waver, his determination in knowing what’s best for all of us wavering, exposing his pain and his need, exposing his fears so clearly that it’s almost painful.
Running my fingers over his back, over his ass, I quickly ro
ll on a condom and then lean closer over them, my cock lined up right with Kit’s ass, with his beautiful and deliciously round ass. I slowly push into him and he accepts me easily, as always, as has always happened, like he’s made for me specially, like we belong together.
Rocking my hips a couple of times, Kit lets out deep moans I can feel vibrate through his body. We all moan, trying to keep our voices a little muffled against each other’s skin, but the sensations are so strong.
When I’m fully seated in him, I hold them both, Kit sandwiched between us, and I try to wrap him in my feelings, my emotions, let him know that I’ll never give up on him.
“No, please...” Kit’s voice is broken, his voice wavering, his whole body thrumming with emotions, one big ball of emotions he doesn’t know how to figure out. “Don’t...”
“Don’t, what?” I kiss his shoulder as I look at Litha, who is keeping my gaze steady, lustful but filled with determination.
“Don’t do this, please.”
“Why?” Her voice is sweet, soft, like summer honey, pulling him in, pulling us in. “What can’t we do?”
“Let me leave, please. Forget I exist, forget I was ever here.” His words hurt, but I can feel how he’s desperately holding onto his darkness, desperate not to let it go, or let it consume him. He doesn’t see another way to solve his pain than to get as far away from us as he can.
“Why?” I play my fingers over his arm, to Litha’s arm and back, reminding him of our connection, how we flow together.
“Because I only bring pain. I’m the reason you got hurt. I’m the reason you got locked in your dragon. I’m the reason you have to deny such an amazing and important part of yourself.” Now the words come, they keep coming, spilling out of him.