A Mage's Power

by Casey Wolfe

  Jorah scoffed. “Why bother?”

  Rowan looked at Jorah. He didn’t know what exactly was on his face, but it caused Jorah to sigh and give in. “Come on, Tate,” he muttered.

  Rowan allowed himself to be positioned on a downed tree nearby. Quail knelt, rolling up Rowan’s jeans to get at the injury on the side of his right calf, Sacha coming over to have a look as well. It burned now that Rowan was paying attention to it.

  Quail clucked his tongue. “There’s dark magic in the wounds.”

  “They go awfully deep,” Sacha said, not able to hide the concern on her features.

  “Hurts,” Rowan confirmed, wincing at the gentle prodding.

  “Very well,” Quail said. “Let’s see what I can do here.” Rowan barely paid attention as Quail started to work, Sacha offering her aid where she could.

  He glanced over at Tate and Jorah, noting the latter had quickly made a hole in the ground, and they were lowering Badger’s body down into it. Rowan couldn’t watch, instead looking at the mist-covered water.

  He felt numb.

  Chapter Twelve

  HE HAD HALF a mind to call Caleb to ask after Rowan’s whereabouts when he found the cottage empty, but Shaw didn’t want to worry him unnecessarily. Still, with everything that was going on—the Inquisition stealing magicae, this dark mage running around, the weird activity of Rowan’s wards—well, Shaw was a little past worried.

  He had hidden his truck off the dirt road and come in on foot, his gut telling him something was wrong when Rowan hadn’t been picking up his phone. Rowan’s bike was still sitting in the same spot from that morning, the ground undisturbed, and the motor cold when Shaw set his hand on it. Inside, there was no indication of a struggle. Shaw didn’t suspect that Rowan would go down without some kind of fight. There was no sign of flung spells or lingering magic in the air.

  Just to be certain, Shaw pulled out one of the dwindling supply of magic scrolls from Keenan. He slapped the reveal scroll onto the wall, watching the spell ripple through the air and bounce back like a sonar blip. There was nothing hidden there, no cover up of activity. Nothing there suggested Rowan had been taken.

  Taking a deep breath, Shaw let it out slowly. He attempted to reason with himself. Rowan had grown up in the Sacred Timber. He knew it like the back of his hand. Hadn’t he said that he liked to go and collect ingredients around the woods? Rowan could be out enjoying a walk for all Shaw knew.

  At midnight?

  Shaw paced in front of the large picture window. The longer Rowan didn’t magically appear, the more Shaw worried.

  A chime startled him. It took a moment to realize that it was Rowan’s wards sounding an alert. Without being a mage himself, he had no idea how to read the message it was sending back to the house. Another chime, a little louder, indicated the inner perimeter wards were being crossed.

  He heard the crunch of tires on the drive and pressed himself into the shadows beside the window, peeking out. The lights on the porch and hanging in the trees around the front yard lit up, bathing the area in a low glow. It allowed Shaw to better see the dark-colored pickup truck that came to a halt midturn.

  A man got out of the back seat of the cab, helping Rowan out next. They exchanged a few words, the woman in the passenger seat leaning out the window to add her own two cents. Shaw could see there was yet another man in the back seat, in addition to the one who was driving.

  He recognized them as members of the Everstrand Mages Guild Masters Board—save the one standing beside Rowan. Identifying them was part of his job as an inquisitor. What’s Rowan doing out with them at this hour? Shaw had his suspicions, and none of them were good. He stayed hidden from view, not wanting to cause problems for Rowan with the Guild. What he wouldn’t have given for Orion’s wolven hearing at that point, wanting to know what they were speaking about. Whatever it was remained brief as Rowan nodded, patting the side of the truck and backing away.

  Rowan waited while the truck went down the winding drive, before turning toward the cottage and calling, “You can come out, Shaw.”

  Grumbling, Shaw stepped out onto the porch. “How’d you know I was here?”

  “My wards told me.”

  “Figures.” Shaw didn’t give him a chance to speak. “Where have you been?”

  “Out.”

  Shaw narrowed his eyes.

  Sighing heavily, Rowan said, “I really don’t want to do this right now.”

  Shaw’s initial reaction was to argue. Then he noticed that Rowan didn’t look so good. “Are you okay?” He hopped off the porch.

  Rowan started to shrug, but he ended up shaking his head. “Not so much, no.”

  Seeing the bandage wrapped around Rowan’s left hand, Shaw cradled it as he pulled it up. “What happened?”

  Shoulders sagging, Rowan pulled his hand away. “Look, I know you have questions, but—”

  “But nothing. I’ve been waiting for you to come home for hours now.”

  “I’m sorry.” Rowan frowned. “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

  “Talk to me,” Shaw pressed, snagging Rowan’s uninjured hand.

  Rowan threaded their fingers together as his face scrunched up in pain. He pitched forward, laying his forehead on Shaw’s shoulder. Shaw wrapped his other hand around Rowan’s back in silent support.

  A small shudder passed through Rowan’s body. “I can’t believe— How did any of this happen?”

  “What?” Shaw prompted when Rowan went quiet.

  “Badger.”

  Shaw’s brows furrowed.

  “He was the dark mage this whole time.”

  “Hold up.” Shaw grabbed Rowan’s shoulders and pulled him back. “What are you—?”

  “He could shapeshift. He was watching me that whole time!”

  Shaw could understand why Rowan was borderline hysterical after that revelation. “How do you even know that?”

  Rowan sighed again, walking off toward the pond beside the cottage. There was no missing the limp in his gait as he favored his right leg. Shaw trailed after him. He reached out for Rowan but pulled his hand away, wondering what Rowan needed most—comfort or space.

  As Rowan started to explain the spirit walk he and the other masters took, Shaw rubbed his temples. “I’m sorry I asked,” he interrupted, noting the brief wry smile it brought to Rowan’s face. “So, now what? Please tell me that you guys left an anonymous tip that there’s a crazy person in the woods?”

  “Not exactly?”

  Shaw groaned. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”

  “We took care of it.” Rowan tried to leave it at that, walking to the water’s edge and gazing outward.

  Shaw wasn’t about to let that go. He went to Rowan’s side, demanding, “And how did ‘we’ do this?”

  Rowan crossed his arms, looking down at his feet. “We went out to where he was hiding and I…” Rowan’s face scrunched in pain, voice breaking. “I killed him.”

  Shaw’s eyes widened. Rowan may have certainly been capable of taking a life, holding an amazing amount of power as he did, but that didn’t mean he had the temperament for it. “You did?” he found himself asking.

  Rowan nodded, choking back a sob. “We were supposed to just capture him, but… The others were trapped, and I…” Rowan shook his head violently, his body starting to tremble.

  “Sh, Ro.” Shaw wrapped his arms around Rowan’s shoulders from the side. “It’s okay. It’s alright. It’s over.” He pressed a kiss to Rowan’s jaw. “You did what you had to do.”

  “I took a life!” Rowan argued, yanking free.

  “And he would have taken yours.” Shaw gave him a hard look, one that was uncompromising. “You may not like it, but you didn’t have a choice. And between the two of you, who do you think I’m happy to see come home?”

  Rowan tugged at his hair, vibrating with energy.

  “Ro, breathe.”

  Shaw could feel the power radiating off him. Shaking his head, Rowan’s magic co
ntinued to build, crackling in the air like static electricity. Shaw was torn between stepping back and wanting to help but not knowing how.

  When Shaw finally reached out for him, Rowan’s head tipped back and he screamed. The resulting force of power pushed Shaw away, and although he stumbled, he managed to keep his balance. Ice rippled across the pond, freezing the entire thing in seconds. The trees were blasted as well, icicles now hanging from branches of frozen leaves.

  Rowan hovered on the edge for a long minute before falling to his knees, all energy going out of him. Shaw let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, blinking in confusion. It took him a moment to pinpoint the reason he was still standing after such a display; it was the mer scale, warm against his skin. It had created a shield around Shaw, strong enough to block out Rowan’s magic from doing him harm.

  Kneeling beside Rowan, Shaw ran a hand down his spine. Rowan shivered at the contact but didn’t protest. “I’ve got you,” Shaw murmured. “I’m here, okay? You’re safe.”

  Sniffing, Rowan nodded slightly. Settling back on his heels, Rowan looked up and saw the pond. He blinked a few times, surprised by what he found. “Did I do that?” he asked softly, sounding almost afraid to ask.

  “You did a little more than that,” Shaw answered. Rowan’s gaze snapped over to him, looking Shaw over frantically. Shaw snagged his wrists, causing violet eyes to meet his. “Relax, I’m fine.” Shaw pulled the scale charm from under his shirt. “See?”

  Rowan’s fingers passed over the sparkling black scale, nodding in understanding.

  Releasing Rowan’s wrists, Shaw’s hands traveled up his arms, squeezing his shoulders. “Are you alright?”

  Rowan’s face scrunched in pain; however, Shaw gathered it wasn’t of the physical variety. “No,” he choked out. “No, I’m not. I could have killed you!”

  “But you didn’t.” Shaw frowned in confusion.

  Rowan shook his head. “I can’t do this.” He tried to stand, but a tug from Shaw landed him on his butt. “You should leave,” Rowan snapped.

  “Why?” Shaw demanded.

  Rowan deflated, looking away, his reply barely heard. “Because it’s too dangerous for you to stay.”

  Shaw huffed, shifting to sit cross-legged on the ground in front of him. “I’ll be the judge of that.” He held Rowan’s unwrapped hand. “I’m not leaving you alone like this. You’re upset.”

  “Which is exactly why you shouldn’t be here.”

  “After that?” Shaw jabbed his thumb over his shoulder at the pond. All the plants and trees were still frozen around them as well, a chill being given off in the air. “Pretty sure even you’ll need a recharge.”

  Rowan shook his head, murmuring, “You don’t understand.”

  “So, explain it to me.”

  Rowan looked up at him, setting his jaw. Tears welled in his eyes.

  “Hey,” Shaw soothed, pulling him into his arms. “Sh, it’s alright.” Rowan’s fingers curled into the back of Shaw’s shirt. “Talk to me.”

  Rowan’s tears spilled over and he sobbed out, “I killed them! I killed my parents!”

  Shaw froze, wondering if he had heard that right.

  Rowan, however, plugged on. “I don’t know how it happened. I was in the back seat of the car. We were going to dinner. And then… Then the car was smashed into a tree.” Rowan sucked in a shaky breath. “I don’t remember anything. Just sitting there talking to my mom one minute. The next thing I know, I’ve got a healer bringing me around.”

  “I don’t understand.” Shaw lowered his brows, pulling Rowan back a little. He wiped tears from under Rowan’s eyes. “How is that your fault?”

  “Because the investigators said there was a heavy presence of magic. They suspect it was a factor in the crash, but they’ve never been able to piece everything together.”

  “Magic? Surely your parents—”

  “If you’re about to suggest they used magic to try to prevent the crash or to protect me, don’t bother.” Rowan’s eyes sparked. “I was the only mage in that car.” He shook his head, no longer able to meet Shaw’s gaze. “My father was mundane. And while my mom was born to two mages, her powers never unlocked.”

  “Maybe they did in that moment?” Shaw proposed. He had heard of cases where latent mages presented under extreme circumstances.

  “It was me. I was the one who came into my powers.” Rowan sniffed, shaking with emotion. Shaw just held him again. Rowan rested his head on Shaw’s shoulder, turning his face in toward Shaw’s neck. “I never showed any signs of being a mage myself, so everyone figured that I wasn’t one.”

  “I still don’t understand how the crash is somehow your fault.”

  “When my magic unlocked, it must have been powerful from what the reports say. I caused that wreck. I just… I know it.”

  “Or your powers reacted to you being in mortal danger and saved your life.”

  Rowan shook his head. “There was no other reason for my dad to lose control. They found nothing. That leaves me.”

  “You don’t know that!” Shaw forced Rowan to look at him. “You can’t blame yourself for something you don’t even know happened. And even if it did, you still can’t blame yourself. You were an untrained kid, Ro! How were you going to control a magical purge?”

  Rowan’s lip quivered. “They’re dead because of me. That’s all I know.” He pulled away, standing with a bit of difficulty and hobbling over to the edge of the pond, gazing at the ice with such a pained expression that it broke Shaw’s heart.

  “Why do you think I live out here?” Rowan asked after a while.

  “I assume because you like nature.”

  “I do, but it’s more than that.” Rowan turned around. “If I’m out here, I can’t hurt anybody else. I trained hard at the Guild so that I could control this.” He flung his arms out to indicate their icy surroundings. “Gram taught me everything she could. She told me being what we are is a blessing and a curse. That the world out there is a dangerous place for us. But the truth is that we’re the danger.”

  “You can’t honestly believe that.”

  “I could have killed you, Shaw!” Rowan’s eyes started to glow. “Why do you think part of the enchantment I put on that necklace was to repel my own magic?”

  Shaw’s teeth clicked together as he snapped his mouth shut.

  “I don’t avoid the city because it’s too far away. I’m terrified I’ll lose everything I’ve trained for and kill someone else. I want to be a grandmaster to prove that I’m better than…than this.”

  Rowan was barely holding himself together. His voice broke as he continued, “I never wanted to hurt anyone again. And then tonight… Tonight I killed someone with my magic.” Rowan choked on a sob. “I swore to Gram I’d only do good with my magic.”

  “And you did.” Shaw stood, snagging Rowan’s wrist before he could retreat. “Without you, the other mages would probably be dead.” With his other hand, Shaw took hold of Rowan’s chin, making their eyes meet. “You did what you had to do to stay alive. And you saved lives doing it. To me, that’s the definition of good. Even if you had to do something as ugly as take a life to do it.”

  Rowan took a moment to digest his words before murmuring, “The needs of the many…”

  “Exactly.” Shaw stepped in closer. “Do you think I enjoy killing people? I do it because I have to. Doing what I do? It protects the ones who matter most.”

  Nodding slowly, Rowan replied, “I get what you’re trying to say.” He took a deep breath, starting to settle.

  “As far as this here?” Shaw twirled his finger to indicate all the ice. “You just did something that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. You’re upset and rightly so. This? This is a productive way of expending that energy buildup. So, don’t stress over letting all of the emotions go, okay?’”

  Rowan gave a barely perceptible nod.

  “We all need to lose it every once in a while,” Shaw said. “My method typically involves bullets
or a good fight, so this? This is nothing.”

  Rowan let out a startled laugh. Once he started, his emotional dam burst. “Oh my Goddess… I can’t even…” He bent over, forehead on Shaw’s shoulder, and continued to laugh.

  Shaw smiled, one arm wrapping around Rowan’s waist, the other hand lying on the back of his neck. “Better?”

  Rowan calmed enough to manage a reply. “Better.” Laughter dying down, he let out a sigh that was somewhere between relief and frustration.

  Shaw pulled him closer, allowing his own powers to help soothe the poor man in his arms. “Don’t beat yourself up over this. Please, Ro.” His fingers combed through Rowan’s hair.

  Rowan squeezed him in return but didn’t say a word.

  “Don’t you think it’s time to move on?” The back of Shaw’s fingers traced down along Rowan’s temple and jaw. “Your parents wouldn’t want this.”

  “I know,” Rowan whispered.

  “Please, don’t blame yourself anymore,” Shaw murmured, lips brushing across Rowan’s cheek. “Please.”

  “That’s easier said than done.”

  “I know. But, try?”

  Rowan barely nodded.

  After holding him a bit longer, Shaw decided to ask, “What’s Caleb said about it?”

  “He doesn’t know. Only Gram ever knew what I suspected.”

  Shaw was rather shocked that Caleb, of all people, hadn’t been told. Then again, Shaw supposed Rowan had his reasons. It also made more sense why Caleb was one of the few people Rowan ever let get close.

  “So, what did she say?” Shaw asked, rocking Rowan a little bit.

  “Said it wasn’t my fault. She went there to check the site herself. All she said was that it couldn’t be helped; that I wasn’t to blame.”

  “And you didn’t think to believe her?”

  “Always thought she said it to make me feel better.”

  “Hmm, makes sense I suppose. But, still…” The way Rowan talked about her, she seemed extremely powerful in her own right. “She must have been able to, I dunno, piece things together, surely?”