The Reconstruction of Cyprian

by Michelle Love

  If I wasn’t on the pill this man would’ve just gotten me pregnant. Of that, I have no doubt. And I have never felt closer to him than I do now.

  His lips quirk to the side. “You are mine, Jenna. You will always be mine.”

  I press my fingertips to his full lips. “I will always be yours, Rod.”

  Staying on top of me, he reaches over and picks something up. It’s the letter from the college.

  I wait to see what he’s going to say or do and he touches the tip of my nose with the envelope. “I want you to know that I’m proud of you for this. Keep going if you want. I think it’s cool to have a smart old lady.”

  Wrapping my arms around him, I bury my face in his chest. “Thank you! You have no idea what your approval means to me.”

  “Your happiness means everything to me, Jenna.” His lips press against my temple and he rolls over, keeping me with him.

  I look down at him and see a difference in his blue eyes. A little softness I’ve never seen before.

  I lay down on his wide chest as his dick is still inside me and his arms are holding me to him. My eyes close and his breathing steadies.

  We fall asleep in a position we’ve never fallen asleep in before and things feel different.

  Things feel better!

  Chapter 9

  JENNA

  Greens and reds leave the Manning’s living room in a Christmas colored hue. Lights flash on the huge Christmas tree which is strategically placed by the new bay window in the front of the room.

  Christmas evening is set aside for only immediate family. This is the first year I’ve attended the dinner with Rod. I suppose I’m getting to be like family in his eyes.

  Since the incident, that’s what we all call it, Rod, and I have gotten along better than I ever expected. He no longer goes out. He comes home right after work and takes off his own boots, gets his own beer, and takes his own shower.

  I’m usually still busy with schoolwork when he gets home. In the corner of the living room, I’m usually at work where I’ve set up a desk and use the laptop he bought me to do my classes.

  It’s normal now. A great normal.

  Sitting in the living room on the sofa, I gaze at the tall tree and think about one day having a house big enough to have a real tree for our own Christmas.

  We have a tiny fake tree that sits on the kitchen table. The house is just too little for anything more grand than that.

  Rod and Reed are cleaning the kitchen and refused to let me help after their mother and father prepared a very yummy Christmas dinner of a not so traditional meal of sausage and potatoes with green beans mixed in with them. A side of cornbread rounded out the filling yet inexpensive dinner.

  I found out it was the very first Christmas meal Sue and Jason had in their first year of marriage when they were both broke college students living in a tiny efficiency apartment in Tempe, Arizona, where they both went to college and met each other.

  Jason’s family was from here. Jerome, Arizona had always been his home and when they graduated, they moved back here and started teaching.

  So this little odd meal is a tradition and as we were eating Rod made mention that he’d like us to carry the tradition on with our family, once we have one.

  I noticed Reed’s eyes cutting at me when his brother said that. He looked a little unsure for some reason. Like Rod and I making a family wasn’t ever going to happen.

  A thought which seems ludicrous to me. Of course, Rod and I will have a family someday.

  Sure, he still won’t let me say the word love and he won’t use it either. But I can see it in his eyes. And feel it in his touch.

  He’s different now. A great different.

  I think he could break down and say the word anytime now. And if for some reason it’s a thing which can never break free from his lips then I can accept that.

  Reed comes into the living room, wiping his hands with a dishrag and running his deep blue eyes over me as I sit here. “So, how did you like your first Manning family Christmas dinner, Jenna?”

  “It was great,” I say with a smile. “When will you be bringing a woman home to join us, Reed?”

  He looks away. “Not anytime soon. I just can’t seem to find Mrs. Right. There are plenty of Mrs. Right Now’s, though.” He laughs and Rod comes in behind him.

  He claps Reed on the back. “Still playing the field then, little bro?”

  Reed nods. “For now, I am. I’m only Twenty-three. No need to rush. I’m not an old man like you are, Rod. At twenty-six, you’re nearing the terrible thirties.”

  Sue and Jason come in from the backyard. They wanted to take a Christmas night dip in the swimming pool Reed bought them.

  Clad in matching, fluffy, white robes with their names embroidered in royal blue, they smile like newlyweds as they come in. Sue shakes some water from her silver, short curls. “Thanks to Reed, we swim every night. It gets the old blood pumping. Adding in the heat to it was genius, Son.”

  Jason sits down in a chair and pulls Sue to sit on his lap. “Can’t thank you enough, Boy.”

  Reed gives them a smile and a nod and Rod comes to sit next to me. He takes my hand then moves to the floor in front of me as he takes something from his pocket.

  The fact he’s only on one knee has my heart racing. A quick glance at his parents shows me his mother is covering her mouth with her hands and his father is smiling.

  My eyes roam over to find Reed looking at his brother with what looks like a clenched jaw. His body is tense and his eyes are a bit narrow.

  Then I look back at Rod and see the diamond in the middle of the ring shining in alternate green then red lights as the Christmas lights reflect off of it.

  His hand is shaking as he holds the little black box. “Jenna Foster,” his words come out very soft and quiet. So quiet I can barely hear him. “Will you marry me?”

  For some reason, I look away from his glistening eyes for a split second and see Reed still staring at his brother. Then I look back into the man I love’s steely blue eyes and say, “Yes, I will marry you, Rod.”

  I hold out my hand and he slides the ring onto my finger and lets out a breath. “It fits! I was so worried it wouldn’t.”

  A laugh comes out of me and I blink back tears. And out of the corner of my eye I see Reed leave the room. It makes me feel bad for some reason.

  Rod stands and picks me up in his arms. He hugs me and then kisses me. A soft kiss. A kiss that tells me more than he can say.

  He loves me!

  When he lets me go, I find his mom and dad waiting to hug us and his dad grabs him up as his mother grabs me then they exchange us and I feel like a real part of their family.

  “This is so fantastic,” Sue says as she holds Rod back and looks at him with tears in her eyes. “You couldn’t have found a better woman for you, Son. Since you’ve been with Jenna you’ve come such a long way from the moody child and teenager you were. She’s been a very good influence on you. Congratulations.”

  And with her words I see a flash of anger in his eyes. “Well, I wouldn’t give her all the credit, Mom.”

  Then Jason adds, “I’d give her most of it.” He laughs, but it doesn’t soften what seems like a blow to Rod it looks like.

  Then his eyes cut to me. “Is that what you think too?”

  I laugh and shake my head. “It’s Rod who has been the influence on me, in my opinion. He’s made me into the woman I am today.”

  The smile returns to his face. I guess as long as I see him as the hero is all that matters to him. “Thanks, Baby.”

  Sue pulls Rod toward the kitchen. “Let’s grab that bottle of pink Champagne I picked up for New Year’s Eve and open it. This is more special than that day, anyway.”

  Jason follows along and I go to the bathroom to make sure I don’t have mascara running down my face from the tears I shed when he asked me the big question.

  After dabbing a bit of water on my face and wiping away the streaks the tears made d
own my pink cheeks I walk out of the bathroom and find Reed leaning against the door of his bedroom.

  “Hey,” he says. He wiggles his finger at me, gesturing for me to come to him.

  I go and ask, “What’s up?”

  After he looks down the hallway I suppose to make sure no one is there, he asks, “Is this really what you want, Jenna?”

  “Of course, Reed. Why wouldn’t I. You know he’s changed. You know he’s okay with me getting my education now. He’s really different. I told you this.”

  My body feels like it’s been zapped with electricity as his hand touches my shoulder. “Jenna this is always how Rod’s been. He can be very good for a year or two at a time. But never any longer than that. He will go back to the way he was. He always has.”

  “I haven’t always been a part of his life, though.”

  “You’re great and all, but there is no one who can keep him from the self-destruction he’s always been known for. Not even a little angel like you, Jenna.” He moves his hand off me and the energy he sent through me starts to go away.

  “I’m going to try, Reed.” I look into his eyes and see so much he’s not saying. “Is there any other reason I shouldn’t marry him, Reed?”

  He takes in a deep breath and runs his hand over my cheek and my knees go weak. “I don’t see him getting married, Jenna. You’ve said it yourself, he doesn’t believe in marriage. I know he made the grand gesture and I think you’ll be waiting forever to get him down the actual aisle.”

  I don’t know why my body reacts to this man’s touch the way it does. I know I love Rod. I absolutely know it. But when Reed touches me I heat and melt inside.

  I can’t stop looking at his lips. They’re perfect. A slight dip in the top lip makes it look a little like a bow. And the cleft in his strong chin is a thing I’ve never really paid that much attention to before.

  It’s so cute and then I say without thinking, “I hope one of our children has that dimple in their chin like you have. Does it run on your mother’s side of the family? I’ve never seen one on anyone of your family members from around here.”

  With a smile, he answers, “My maternal grandfather had one.”

  I touch it with my fingertip and smile as I feel heat flow through me. But I fight the feeling. “Good. Maybe one of our kids will get it then.”

  “Maybe one of our kids will,” he says then winks at me.

  I hear Sue calling for him and turn. “We better go drink to the impending nuptials, don’t you think?”

  “Tell Mom I’m going to bed.” He turns to go back in his room.

  “Reed?”

  He turns back. “Yeah?”

  “I think everything is going to be okay. I don’t think you’re right about him.”

  His smile is weak. “I hope you’re right, Jenna. I’d hate to see you hurt.”

  I turn and walk down the dark hallway to the kitchen and find Rod has downed his first glass of Champagne. “Yuk!” he says then puts the empty glass down. “If I would’ve sipped that like you said to, Mom, I’d never have gotten it down.”

  Sue hands me a glass full of the pink bubbly stuff and I take a sip. “I have to agree with Rod. Yuk!”

  He pulls out a couple of beers from the fridge and opens one and hands it to me then opens his and taps the tops together. “Here’s to me and you, Baby.”

  “To me and you, Rod.” I tap the tops again and take a drink as I look into his eyes.

  I see it there. The commitment. The change.

  Reed’s wrong. I know he is. He has to be.

  And Rod will stay this way. We will get married. We will have a family.

  And I will manage my body and eventually it will stop responding to Reed the way it does.

  I love Rod!

  End of story. He and I are the ones who are meant to be together. Reed will be my brother-in-law and nothing more than that.

  Rod pulls the bottle from his lips. “Where’s my brother?”

  Sue starts to leave the kitchen to go find him, so I say, “I saw him as I was leaving the bathroom. He said he’s going to bed.”

  Jason looks at his watch. “At ten. Is he feeling well?”

  I shrug my shoulders and take another drink. Rod puts his arm around me. “He’s just jealous.”

  My body goes tense. “No.”

  Rod nods. “He’s always been jealous of me, Baby. No big deal. Whatever I had, he wanted. My big wheel, my G.I. Joe’s, my first car.”

  “He doesn’t want me, Rod.” I take another drink.

  The laugh that comes from deep in his chest rattles my body and he tightens his hold on me. “The hell he doesn’t. But you belong to me and always will.”

  Sue interrupts him, “Stop talking like that, Rod. Your brother doesn’t want to take your girlfriend away from you. He’s being silly, Jenna. Don’t listen to him. And Rod, what have I told you about saying Jenna belongs to you? She’s a human being, she belongs to no one.”

  He levels his eyes on me. “You do belong to me, don’t you?”

  I nod and love the smile I see go all over his face. His lips touch mine and I lean into the kiss.

  I hear Sue say, “Don’t give into him, Jenna. Stand firm. You’re a human being not a possession.”

  Rod used to treat me like that. Not anymore, though. Not since that day. And I don’t see him going back to that.

  When Rod tells me I belong to him it hits me as if he’s really saying he loves me. That’s how I take it, anyway.

  As he lets the kiss end, I look at Sue, “It’s okay. I know what he means when he says it.”

  Rod moves his arm off my shoulders and takes my hand. “It means you belong to me. Just like I said. I think it’s time to hit the road, Baby. It’s been a long couple of nights. I’m still kind of nursing that hangover I woke up with this morning.”

  “Bye,” I say as he pulls me to the front door.

  His parents say their goodbyes and wave. As we move through the living room I see Reed in the dark hallway. I lift my hand and wave and he waves back.

  I can’t see his expression, he’s merely a shadow in the dark at the end of the long hallway. But I can feel his emotion from here.

  And it’s sad.

  What if Rod’s right? What if Reed really does want me?

  Then I push the thought out of my head. It doesn’t matter, anyway. I am with Rod. I am marrying Rod.

  So what if Rod doesn’t bring out the same heat in my body when he touches me that Reed does?

  Rod brings out other things in me. Things like compassion and empathy.

  Those are good things too!

  Chapter 10

  JENNA

  Sun streams through the curtains that have been left open for some reason. I don’t recall leaving them open but I don’t recall much about last night, to be honest.

  Rod and I had way too much to drink it seems. And it seems like I’ve slept most of the morning away.

  My head aches as I turn to the side to pick up my cell phone and see what time it is. When my eyes finally focus I see it’s nearly noon.

  I turn back over and run my hand over Rod’s, still dented where his head was, pillow.

  The poor man had to get up and go to work!

  Dragging myself out of bed, I make my way to the bathroom where I start the shower. Brushing my teeth as the water warms up I notice some things are missing.

  Rod’s toothbrush is gone from the holder.

  I look in the trashcan to see if he tossed it for some reason. But I don’t see it in there. I rinse my mouth out and look around and notice his deodorant is also missing from its usual place on the shelf.

  As I open the medicine cabinet the new package of razors I bought him the other day is gone and so is the bottle of acetaminophen.

  My heart starts pounding hard as I walk out of the bathroom and go to the closet. Half his clothes are gone. The work uniforms are all that’s left. His work boots are placed neatly on the floor but his other shoes are gone.
>
  I kind of fall backward until my legs hit the side of the bed then I fall onto it.

  He’s left me!

  After a few minutes, I shake my head to try to clear it. “No, he wouldn’t just leave me.”

  I jump up and run to the bathroom and turn the water off and go to grab a dress and pull it on, then open my drawer and pull out a pair of panties. Slipping on my sandals I run out of the house to go to the garage he works at.

  My pace is fast as I walk down the street. The place is about a mile away and I don’t want to show up all sweaty and panicked.

  He has to be there!

  I can’t remember so much about last night. Maybe he told me he had to go somewhere for his job and be there overnight.

  But why are so many of his clothes gone? And none of them work related?

  After turning a corner, I can see far enough down the street the garage is on and usually, I can see his old Ford from here. But I don’t see it.

  My feet start moving faster on their own and now I’m running as fast as I can. I run into the parking lot and the smell of oil hits my nostrils and I see his truck is not here.

  One of the guys he works with sees me and comes out. “Hey! Where the hell is Rod?”

  I can barely breathe. “He’s not here?”

  He shakes his head. “We’ve been calling him since eight this morning and sending him texts. He hasn’t answered. I was going to come over to your house when I got off for lunch to see what the hell’s wrong with him.”

  I have to lean over and put my hands on my knees and try to catch my breath. My heart is pounding and my head is going very light.

  Once I’ve regained my air, I stand up. “He’s gone. He left. Has he told you anything?”

  The man I’ve never really been introduced to but know his name is Craig looks at me and shakes his head. “Rod is a quiet man. No one knows anything.”

  “I have to go. If I can find him, I’ll let you know,” I say then turn to go back home.

  As I get into the house which seems very empty now, I go back to the bedroom and get my phone. Calling his mother seems like the next logical step.