The Reconstruction of Cyprian

by Michelle Love

  “Mom!”

  “What? You should. She’s a lot like you, Son. I think if you could forget about Jenna, you and Lana would make a great couple. What do they call it? A power couple! Yeah!” She claps her hands. “Oh, to see both of my sons with women who they love and love them is all I want.”

  “Well, I can barely stand Lana so she’s not going to be your daughter-in-law. When’s the last time you talked to Jenna?” I ask and get up and grab another beer out of the ice chest.

  “It’s been about a week. Her calls have slowed down. I think because she’s moving on. And, Reed, I think it’s best she has. Your brother and you have gotten along so well with her out of the picture. I hope you don’t think about going and getting her,” she says and the thought springs into my head that I do know where she lives and I could do just that.

  Tempe is only a two-hour drive from here!

  “Mom, if she and I do get back together you will treat her right, won’t you?” I ask then take a drink and watch her kind of squirm.

  “Reed, you and your brother would start this fighting stuff up again and I would just hate it,” she says then knots her hands together. “Just leave her alone, Son. Please!”

  “Rod and I won’t fight over her anymore. We made a deal. So if there’s no fighting in the family, would you accept it if she came back to me?” I look at her as she seems very conflicted.

  “But there would be fighting.”

  I shake my head. “I think Rod’s found a woman much more fitting for him. And he and Jenna have talked from what he told me and it sounds like they have found their closure. We both know Jenna was never the woman for him. She’s an angel and Rod’s a devil.”

  Mom takes the chair next to mine and takes my beer away and downs the rest of it. She sits there for a moment before she says, “Look, I love that girl. I do. But life has been so peaceful since she left.” She looks at me really hard. “But there is something missing in you. I can see it. Just wait and see if she comes back to you on her own. You and your brother both took that girl over. She’s never had a shot at finding out if she likes something else other than being taken over. You know.”

  I nod and know she’s right. “But if she does come back to me you will accept that?”

  “Reed, as long as it doesn’t disrupt what you and your brother have managed to regain, I will accept it.” She gets up and walks away then looks back over her shoulder at me. “But please let her come to you. Let her make a decision for once, instead of a Manning going caveman on her and dragging her off with him.”

  I give her a nod and a smile. “Okay, Mom.”

  Caveman is not the way I want to go, anyway. But this waiting shit has to end.

  If Rod’s out, then the family thing is no longer an issue. And I want Jenna to know that. I want her to know I still want her and I’m not about to let her pick another man if she’s not head over heels in love with the guy.

  What we have is real and I’m not about to let her throw that away.

  But how to get her to call me is a thing I need to work on. Showing up unannounced is kind of caveman.

  The party progressed, and all have gone home. It’s late. Very late and I’ve yet to figure out how to approach Jenna.

  The light out by the pool is nice and I unbutton my shirt and lie back on the lounge chair I’m sitting in and take a nearly naughty selfie and send it to her using Mom’s phone.

  I lifted it from her just before she went to bed. She didn’t even notice I took it.

  So now I wait to see if she texts back.

  An hour later there is still nothing. So I go inside, stopping to pick up a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels and go to my bedroom. Leaving Mom’s phone on the counter after deleting the picture of myself from it.

  Pulling my clothes off, I climb into the bed and prop my head up on the pillows. Then take a nice long tug from the bottle.

  It burns as it goes down my throat. I find the pain good in a way. It means I can still feel things.

  She must be done with me too.

  But why in the hell can she tell Rod she’s not interested in him any longer but not me?

  Chapter 37

  JENNA

  “Crap!” I say out loud as I see my phone ran out of charge sometime in the night.

  I plug it in and go to get dressed. There’s a staff party this evening and Steven wants me to go with him.

  I’m not really feeling it but it’s one of those things I do to keep the peace between he and I.

  The phone rings and I look at it to find it’s Steven. I ignore the call.

  I can’t deal with him yet!

  One shower and a cup of coffee later, I go back to get my phone off the table by my bed and see a text message I missed from Sue. At three in the morning.

  God! I hope everything’s alright!

  With a swipe of my finger, I see there’s no emergency. There is Reed by the pool. His shirt unbuttoned and looking very sexy.

  I fall back on the bed and gaze at him. His tight abs look even tighter than the last time I saw them.

  His hair has grown just a bit and his blue eyes sparkle in the pool’s lights. He’s devastating!

  He must’ve taken this with his mother’s phone after she fell asleep. So I don’t bother replying to this text. Instead, I pull up his cell number and text - Looking good-

  I wait and he doesn’t text back so I call Steven back. “You called?”

  “I did. I need you there by seven tonight. I’d pick you up but I’ll be running late. I have some things I have to pick up for the party. Wear that green dress I like and put your hair in the side part thing I like so much. Your gold necklace with that cross will be good too. It’s Easter and all and the cross works with that whole thing.” He stops talking just long enough for me to talk.

  “And how was your night, Steven?”

  “Oh, fine. I watched some television then read until I fell asleep,” he says. “And wear those nude heels. I like the way your legs look in them.”

  “Okay. I guess I’ll let you go and see you then.”

  “Yes. Oh! One more thing. You told a joke at the last party and I didn’t like that. No jokes at this one. See you at seven sharp.” He hangs up and I find myself fuming.

  “No jokes! He’s a fucking joke!” I toss the phone on the bed and start to get off the bed but it lights up and makes the buzzing sound it does when I have a text.

  “It better not be another thing he needs to tell me how to do!”

  But I see it’s Reed -Heard you were happy with a new man-

  “Wonder who told him that?”

  I text back -Heard you were happy with a new woman-

  He texts back- Who told you that-

  I text – Your brother and your mother-

  He texts back – Funny those are the same two who told me that about you-

  I send – I’m glad you’re happy. Your whole family is a lot happier now that I’m not in the picture-

  He sends – Not all of them-

  So I send back -What does that mean???-

  He texts – Don’t worry about it. Are you really happy???-

  Sue’s been doing so well. She’s made a full recovery from the tumor and there’s been no reoccurrence. She’s been so happy with how things are going. And she has not so gently told me about how compatible this new woman in Reed’s life is with him. How well they get along and how happy Reed is with her.

  The phone buzzes again and I see he’s written – Are you afraid to tell me you’re happy, Jenna-

  I think about it for a while and I know they’re all better off without me. So I send– Yes-

  A little while goes by then he texts back – Okay then. Have a nice life-

  I quickly type in – You too- then the tears start to fall.

  I can’t breathe. My body aches. I think I might be dying.

  I pick the phone back up to call him and think twice about it and put it down. He deserves better than me.

  Th
at woman is his equal. I’m sure she’s mentally strong too and I’m weak.

  My phone rings and I can’t see who it is through all the tears. But I answer it, anyway.

  “One more thing,” Steven says. “No drinking tonight. I don’t want us to do any more drinking. I want to have the appearance of an up and coming couple who are about business and education. All work, no play. That kind of couple. A real educational power couple. And I want you to keep going to college until you get your Doctorate. So get working on that. See you tonight.”

  He ends the call without me saying a word.

  Not one damn word!

  The phone leaves my hand as I toss it away from me. I want no more of this thing with him.

  He hasn’t asked me to marry him but I saw pictures of engagement rings on his phone the other day. And now all this talk about the future and what I need to do to fit into his ten-year, mother-fucking plan.

  Well, fuck that!

  I’m done! Done with being led around like I don’t know what I want. Or am too stupid to know I can do more. I’m sick of it!

  Reed never put me in a box. He never said, ‘Jenna, I want to have sex like this so you need to learn to do it my way.’ He never said, ‘Jenna, I want you to do this with the rest of your life, so go to school even longer so you can do what I want you to do.’

  No, Reed told me I could do whatever I wanted. Anything or nothing. Whatever I wanted.

  He let me love him the way I wanted to. He let me do the things that made me happy. He let me plan the wedding around what I liked.

  And now he’s moved on to another woman. And I know in my heart it’s because I didn’t stand up and fight for what I wanted.

  I rolled over and did what would make everyone else happy. Everyone else but me and Reed. I let him go, to keep the peace. I let him go because it was the easier road to take.

  And now he found a woman who’s most likely willing to fight for him. The way I should’ve done.

  I could’ve told Rod the same things I told him a couple of weeks ago to get him to understand that I’ve grown and am not that person he loved. I could have told Rod those things that night instead of kissing him to see if there was anything there.

  Why did I do that?

  Why did I allow other people to get between what Reed and I had?

  What we had was real, honest, and pure. And I threw my hands up in the air and told myself it was for the good of his family.

  So now what do I do?

  I’m done with Steven. I won’t be his date tonight and even though it will be uncomfortable working in the same school as he does, I will not quit my job and hide away as if I’ve done something wrong.

  I will face the uncomfortable situation with my head held high and go on. Because shit happens, and it’s not always roses and wine. Sometimes it’s a pile of shit and you have to step over it and go the fuck on!

  The fact is I may have lost Reed. And he may have been the one for me. He may have been the only man who will ever make me feel electricity with his touch.

  Reed Manning may have been the only slice of Heaven I will ever have had on this planet. But I will no longer let some man control my every move.

  No joking around, Jenna! No, drinking, Jenna!

  Who does Steven Johnson think he is?

  There’s going to be a new Jenna. One who knows what she wants and when she finds it.

  If I ever find it again.

  She will hold on to it like her life depends on it.

  And now I am done talking about myself in the third person because that seems a little crazy to me and I don’t want the new Jenna to be insane!

  In an effort to face things head on, I throw on a dress and slip on a pair of flip flops and pull my hair into a ponytail and get into my car.

  I’m going to face Steven when I tell him we’re done.

  Tucking tail and running isn’t a thing I’ll be doing anymore.

  Steven is getting into his car as I pull into the driveway of his three bedroom brick home he has no immediate plans to fill with children because they aren’t in his life plan.

  I pull in behind him and get out of the car. He doesn’t even bother to get out. He just rolls his window down. “Jenna, I need to go. Move your car.”

  “This will only take a second, Steven,” I say as I lean in his window.

  “Jenna, just do as I say. Whatever you have to say can wait until I get back. You can wait on the patio for me to get back if you want. It should take me an hour to get what I need to done.”

  He looks agitated that I’m still standing here instead of hauling ass to get out of his fucking way.

  “I’m not waiting. We’re over, Steven. Done. K. I’ll let you go now.” I turn and walk back to my car.

  I hear his car door open. “Jenna, wait!”

  I shake my head and wag my finger behind me and keep walking until I get to my car and slide into the driver’s seat. He stands there just looking at me. “Bye,” I say and drive away.

  My phone rings and it’s him. I ignore the call.

  I’ve said all I have to say to him!

  No amount of pleading is going to get me to change my mind and go back to being his Barbie doll, he dresses and tells how to act.

  The fact that we’ve slept together a whopping three times and never did I come close to climaxing and never did he care, sits forefront in my brain.

  What an ass!

  I feel weightless with this off my back. I can just be free. I don’t have to have a man just to fill some space in my life. I can just be me.

  The fact is the love I have for Reed has made me see that I should never settle for anything less than a love like that.

  He may have moved on but I think I’ll just kick back and relax and let myself live with the fact I have a heart that’s full of love for a man who totally deserves it.

  He didn’t do a thing to make me stop and I couldn’t if I tried. So why fight it?

  I love a man who doesn’t love me anymore. Okay. I can handle that.

  Pulling back into my parking spot at my apartment complex. I sit for a moment and let myself feel what it feels like to be a woman who is free but who also holds a ton of love in her heart.

  It feels damn good. Whether it’s reciprocated or not, it’s there and it feels great.

  The first thing I do as I walk into my little apartment is go straight to my jewelry box and take out the ring Reed gave me. I slide it on my finger and look at it and feel happy.

  Not sad, at all. Reed made me happy once. He taught me how that feels. I can’t hate him for moving on. It was my fault.

  But I can feel the way he showed me is possible. I can live my life the way I want.

  From the day he talked to me about going to college and doing what I wanted until the day he told me I could walk away from him if I wanted to see what I felt about Rod or anyone else for that matter has taught me a lot.

  It’s not the job, it’s not the way you do things that matter. It’s how you feel about it. If you like it, do it. If you don’t. Don’t!

  I like wearing this ring. I like feeling the way I felt when I was with him. And I can if I want to.

  Now to see how long this euphoria lasts!

  Chapter 38

  REED

  I can’t stop staring at my phone. The last text from Jenna isn’t making sense to me.

  I know that girl has not found another man who makes her feel the way I do. So I make a quick decision and look online and have flowers and candy sent to her address today.

  Then I make damn sure Lana knows we have nothing going on as she texted me a few times yesterday and I can’t have her thinking she and I are a thing.

  So with a swipe of my finger I call her. “Reed! Miss me?”

  “Lana, sorry. This isn’t one of those calls where I tell you I miss you and want you to join my family for Easter, sorry.”

  “Oh, I see. What is this kind of call then?”

  “This is the call where I
tell you that you and I are not working out.”

  She sighs. “Reed, that dumb girl isn’t coming back.”

  “She might not. But Lana, that girl taught me what true love felt like and I’m done settling for Mrs. Right Now and not Mrs. Right. She may not take me back but I’m sure as fuck going to try.”

  “And what if she shoots you down?” she asks. “Do you think I’m the kind of woman who will take this from you, then when you come crawling back after she tells you it’s over, welcome you with open arms?”

  “I’m not going to be doing that. If she shoots me down, then I’m going to be thankful for what she’s shown me. How to love and be loved unequivocally. Sorry for wasting your time, Lana. I’m sure we’ll see each other around and I don’t want things to be weird,” I tell her then hear something breaking in the background.

  “Damn it, Reed. Look, I get what I want!” she shrieks.

  “So do I,” I say with a very calm voice. “And I want Jenna Foster or no one right now. I’ll never be settling again. Not now that I know what real love feels like. Bye, Lana.”

  There’s some cursing on her end but I hang up without listening to anymore.

  There was no love there. I was a thing Lana set her sights on. A nice bank account, a handsome face. But she had no real feelings for me. And I sure didn’t for her.

  So that’s done and now on to Operation Get Jenna Back.

  A text comes in and I cross my fingers it’s Jenna. But I see it’s from Lana – Reed Manning, we are through!!!-

  I laugh out loud. “Duh!”

  Jenna or no Jenna, I’m through with faking it just to have a warm body around once in a while.

  And I’m through with waiting around for Jenna to realize she’s hurting us both by taking this high road where she doesn’t cause any waves in the Manning family.

  Pulling on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and my running shoes, I leave my bedroom and find my mother in the kitchen. “Hey, Mom. You feel like making some lasagna for dinner tonight?”