Crossroads

by Skyy

  Cooley exited the VIP, her clothes soaked. People looked at her, some curious, others laughing. Cooley saw the entrance to the green room. She wanted to go after Sahara, but something was holding her back.

  “Oh my God! Cooley, what happened?” Tee said, rushing up to her boss.

  “Nothing! Just get me a cab.” Cooley started walking toward the entrance.

  Tee followed, obeying her orders without question.

  The lights on the stage illuminated. Big Ron walked out on the stage. People turned toward him. Big Ron was handed a microphone. Cooley didn’t care to watch; she fought her way through the crowd.

  “A’ight, y’all. It’s the moment you have been waiting for. The newest star on Jam Zone is about to hit the stage.” Big Ron hyped the crowd up.

  Cooley couldn’t get out of the building fast enough. She made it to the door as soon as Sahara’s name was called.

  Sahara walked out on stage. She knew the show had to go on, even if she was dying on the inside. She hugged Big Ron as she took the mic, forcing a smile. Her eyes focused on Cooley about to walk out of the door.

  “Thank you. Thank you so much.” Sahara couldn’t take her eyes off of Cooley.

  Cooley couldn’t fight it. She turned around, immediately making eye contact with Sahara.

  Sahara sighed. “I know you are ready to hear my songs, but I wanted to start with a song that I absolutely love and, and a song that I dedicated to someone very special.”

  Sahara began to sing Etta James’s “Trust in Me.” The music began to play. Cooley’s heart dropped. Sahara sang to Cooley, refusing to take her eyes off of her.

  Cooley watched as Sahara poured her feelings into the song.

  The crowd was silent, hanging to every word coming from Sahara’s mouth.

  Cooley wanted to run to the stage, take Sahara in her arm and apologize for everything. She took a deep breath, lowered her head and walked out of the building.

  Sahara continued to sing as the tears flowed down her eyes.

  47

  Cooley didn’t want to go home. She walked the downtown streets for hours. She stopped and sat in Olympic Park. The place was swarming with people, but she didn’t notice anything. Cooley wanted to cry. She tried to squint her eyes as hard as she could, but nothing would come out. Sahara’s song played over and over in her head. She wanted it to all go away.

  Cooley finally got into a cab. Even with the traffic, she made it to her downtown loft in less than ten minutes. She looked at the door. She couldn’t go in. She had the cab driver keep driving.

  By the time she made it back to her place she had run up a hundred-dollar cab fare. She handed the cab driver six twenty-dollar bills. He thanked her for her nice tip. Cooley didn’t respond. She walked into her building.

  Cooley walked into her dark apartment. She hit the light switch and jumped. Sahara looked up. Her eyes bloodshot, and makeup smeared. Sahara stood up. Cooley couldn’t move from her spot.

  “I know why you did what you did. Cooley, that was not my idea. He just grabbed me and did it.”

  They both stood in their spots.

  Sahara’s eyes twinkled from the water forming. “I cursed him out, told him never to contact me again.”

  “It doesn’t matter now.” Cooley walked past her couch.

  Sahara turned around. “It does matter. Cooley, I know why you did what you did. I’m not mad. We’re OK.”

  “No, Sahara, we aren’t!” Cooley snapped. “I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

  “Cooley, please, it wasn’t my fault.” Sahara ran up to Cooley.

  “It’s not about that. I just don’t want to be in anything. I never did.” Cooley’s straight expression didn’t change.

  Sahara took a few steps back. “So, you really want to stand here and just give up on us over something so stupid?”

  Cooley couldn’t look at Sahara. “It’s too complicated. I never wanted a relationship to begin with. So ...”

  Sahara shook her head in disbelief. “No, this isn’t you talking. You are angry at me, and I know that. I was wrong for the champagne but—”

  “Sahara, I don’t want to be with you!”

  Cooley and Sahara stared at each. Cooley shifted her eyes away from Sahara’s tear-filled face.

  Sahara couldn’t take it anymore. She picked her purse up and walked toward the door. Cooley wanted to stop her, but she couldn’t.

  Sahara grabbed the doorknob, she paused. She turned around.

  “No!” Sahara dropped her purse and stormed back up to Cooley. She wrapped her arms around Cooley and held on with all her strength.

  Cooley’s eyes widened.

  “I’m not letting you do this, I’m not letting you walk away from us!”

  Cooley closed her eyes as Sahara held on to her. Cooley could smell her sweet perfume. She could feel her heart beating. Cooley shook her head. She pulled Sahara off of her. She turned her back, walking toward the kitchen.

  Sahara yelled her name with a high-pitched screech, causing Cooley to stop.

  Cooley turned around.

  They stood face to face like two cowboys at high noon.

  “I know you care about me. I know deep down you don’t want to do this.” Sahara’s voice was calm, but filled with raw emotions. “It’s easier for you to run away from it.”

  “I’m never going to change!” Cooley threw her arms up. “I’m always going to be me. I’m no good for you or anyone else!”

  They stood in silence for a moment. Sahara’s eyebrows raised. It made sense to her. “I’m not Misha.”

  “What?”

  “I’m not Misha. I’m not going to give up on you because you have a few flaws. I know you are good for me. You are meant for me, and I am meant for you. Cooley, I’m standing here telling you that I accept you for who you are, and I am not going anywhere. Can you honestly stand here and look me in my eyes and tell me that you don’t love me ... that you want me to leave?”

  Cooley stared at the woman pouring her heart out to her.

  Sahara stood in her spot, vulnerable and open. No tears fell, she couldn’t cry anymore. She waited on Cooley to answer.

  Cooley’s bottom lip trembled. She knew Sahara loved her. She knew it was her moment.

  “I don’t love you,” Cooley responded in a very low tone.

  The words hit Sahara like a Louisville slugger. Sahara lowered her head in defeat. She couldn’t cry. She was all cried out. She walked slowly toward Cooley. She pulled a keychain out of her pocket, dropping Cooley’s house key at her feet. Sahara turned around, grabbed her purse and walked out the door.

  Cooley watched Sahara walk out the door. She stared at the closed door, hoping Sahara would walk back in. She knew she was gone for good. Cooley looked down. She saw her single key lying in front of her. She reached down to pick it up. She stood back up, leaving a small puddle of tears on the floor.

  48

  Lena sighed as the Six Flags roller coasters appeared from the highway. It was the longest six hours of her life. There was no turning back. She was about to face Denise, and her parents. Lena looked at Terrin. She knew it was best to start with the easiest confrontation.

  “Terrin, I’m pregnant.”

  Terrin’s smile dropped. She glanced over at Lena. “What?” Terrin looked at Lena dumbfounded, causing the car to swerve, which made her look back at the road.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Wrinkles appeared in Terrin’s forehead. “Brandon’s?”

  “Yes.”

  “Does he know?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you and him still—”

  “No.” Lena turned toward Terrin. “We haven’t been for a very long time. It happened before you and me got serious.”

  Terrin let out a sigh of relief. “Are you going to keep it?”

  Lena paused. “Yes.”

  Terrin was quiet. She stared at the road. She took a deep breath and exhaled. She glanced over at Lena, placing her h
and on her thigh.

  “It’s OK. I’m shocked, but I’m OK.”

  Lena was shocked. Terrin continued to drive as though she didn’t admit to her that she was carrying a baby by her ex-husband.

  Lena gazed at Terrin. “I, I can’t believe you are OK with it.”

  “Lena, you said it happened before me and you. I can’t be mad about that. You were married to the man. A child is a blessing from God. I’m not going anywhere just because you’re pregnant.”

  “I can’t believe how wonderful you are. I expected you to leave me on the side of the road.”

  Terrin smiled. “Lena, haven’t you realized by now that I’m not going anywhere? I love you.”

  Lena gasped. Terrin continued to look ahead. Lena felt her body tense up. Her stomach turned. She suddenly felt nauseous.

  Terrin noticed Lena’s silence. “Lena, I don’t expect you to say it back. I just felt it was time to tell you how I really feel about you. I want to be in your life and your baby’s life.”

  “Thank you, Terrin.”

  Lena dropped Terrin off at their hotel room at the Westin. Terrin wanted to go with her, but there was something she had to do on her own. She drove in silence, no music, only her thoughts. Lena thought of a perfect speech, but it had escaped her memory.

  Lena parked in the long driveway to her home. The beautiful mansion looked the same, but it felt completely different from the last time she was there. She had so many wonderful memories. Now she faced creating a horrible one.

  She sighed; all their cars were in the driveway. Both of her parents had to be home.

  Lena raised her hand to ring the doorbell and stopped. She pulled her key out of her purse. She opened the door and walked in. Lena fell right into her old habits. She placed her keys on the coffee table near the door and dropped her purse in the chair next to it. Lena could hear the television coming from the living room. Her hands were shaking; it was her moment of truth.

  “Hello.”

  Lena’s parents turned around. Her father placed his pipe down, her mother’s face winced.

  Her father smiled. “Lena, baby doll, now this is a surprise.” He walked over and embraced his daughter.

  His slender body felt better than he ever did. “Hey, Daddy.” Lena hugged her father. She wondered if it would be the last hug she received.

  Her mother picked up a copy of Vogue.

  “What on earth are you doing here? Karen, did you know she was coming?”

  “No, I didn’t,” Karen replied, without looking up from her magazine.

  Lena thought she was going to have a heart attack. She took a deep breath. “Can I talk to you two about something?”

  Her father’s happy disposition changed to worry. “Of course.” He sat back in his leather chair. “Is everything all right, honey?”

  Her mother didn’t respond.

  “Mother, can you put the magazine down,” Lena waited, but her mother didn’t move. “Please.”

  Karen looked up from the magazine. Her mouth curled as she threw the magazine on the couch. “Fine, Lena. Go on with it.”

  Her father looked at her mother, confused by her attitude.

  Lena took a seat in the chair across from her father. They both stared at her.

  “Well, first I want to let you know that I love you so very much and I never wanted to do anything to disappoint you.” Lena took another deep breath to try to keep from crying.

  “Lena, what is going on?” Her father’s deep voice rose. “Why are you saying this?”

  “Just let her talk,” Karen interjected.

  “Well.” Lena’s voice trembled. “I really hope that even if you don’t agree with my decisions that you will support me in the end.” Lena dropped her head. She couldn’t look at them. “I’m pregnant.”

  Her mother’s and father’s mouths dropped at the same time.

  Karen sat up straight. “Is it Brandon’s? Are you getting back together?”

  “Yes, it’s Brandon’s baby.”

  “So my baby is giving me a grandbaby?” Her father’s face filled with joy.”

  “Are you together again?” Her mother’s face stayed straight.

  Lena’s eyes met her mother’s. “No, we are still getting a divorce.”

  Her mother grabbed her magazine and opened it back.

  “Mother, please?”

  “Karen.”

  Her father’s stern voice frightened her.

  Karen looked at both at them. She slammed the magazine down on the couch.

  “Well, what do you want me to say? You want me to get all excited over a baby being brought into a broken home?”

  “Mom, Brandon and I have talked about it. Our relationship is good, and we are both excited to have this baby.”

  “But you aren’t staying married.”

  Her mother’s pained expression tore her apart. Lena started to cry.

  “Mother, can’t you understand that that is not what was best for me or Brandon? I’d rather bring my baby up with him happy than bring a child in a family that isn’t.”

  “Lena, we only want what is best for you.” Her father stood up. “If you feel that this is what you want to do, then we support you. As long as Brandon remains a man and takes care of his responsibilities.”

  “He will.”

  “Then, we both will be there for you one hundred percent.” Her father threw her mother a stern look.

  Karen folded her hands. “Is that all you have to tell us, or is there something else you want to tell your father?” Karen gave Lena a glowering look.

  Lena looked at her father’s face. He knew something else was up. He sat back down, waiting on the rest of the news to hit him.

  Lena’s parents’ eyes were burning a hole in her heart. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She blinked. Their eyes were still fixated on her.

  Lena’s mother shifted her body on the couch. “Well, Lena? Are you still dating that person?”

  Lena could feel the walls closing in on her. She felt short of breath. Her palms were sweating. She knew it was now or never.

  “Well, Lena?” her mother folded her hands.

  Lena took another deep breath. “No, Mother, I’m not. It’s over ... for good.”

  49

  “It’s OK, baby. You don’t have to come out until you are good and ready.” Terrin held Lena’s hand as they walked to Cooley’s door.

  “I just feel so bad. I hate lying to them.”

  “Lena, you did what was best for you.”

  They stopped at the door.

  Terrin turned to Lena. “Are you sure you want to do this?” She held Lena’s hand. Terrin didn’t know what to expect. The girl who threatened her future with Lena was on the other side of the door.

  “Yeah, let’s do it.”

  They both took deep breaths as Lena knocked on the door.

  “Hey!” Carmen hugged Lena. “Welcome to my party.”

  “Have you already been drinking?” Lena shook her head.

  “I sure have. Now time for you two to get drunk right along with me.”

  Terrin and Lena looked at each other and laughed.

  “What’s so funny?” Carmen questioned while taking another sip of her blue cocktail.

  “I can’t drink Carmen.” Lena blushed. “I’m pregnant.”

  Carmen spewed her drink on the floor. Cooley yelled her name, complaining that she better not get her rug dirty. Lena and Terrin walked farther in the house.

  Denise and Farih sat next to each other on the couch. Lena and Denise’s eyes met. Lena’s heart skipped a beat. Denise looked better than she expected. Her hair was down, perfectly flat-ironed. Her basketball shorts were replaced with a pair of jeans and a black button-down shirt. Lena felt her knees wobbling.

  Terrin noticed the exchange. She held on to Lena’s arm.

  “I’m sorry, Cooley. Lena just shocked the shit out of me.”

  “What’s up?” Nic walked up, holding two glasses of the blue concoc
tion.

  “I can’t drink that because I’m pregnant.”

  Denise’s eyes widened.

  Farih smiled, patting Denise on her leg.

  Nic hugged Lena. “Congrats, Lena,” Nic said.

  “We are very happy,” Terrin added. She looked at Denise.

  “Yes, Lena, congratulations,” Denise said very calmly. She stood up, holding Farih’s hand.

  Lena’s heart skipped a beat with each step the gorgeous couple took.

  “Lena, this is Farih. Farih, this is Lena, my old roommate, and one of my bestfriends.”

  Lena saw Denise’s mouth moving, but the words sounded like the teacher from the Peanuts cartoons.

  Farih extended her hand.

  Carmen nudged Lena, who snapped back to reality.

  Lena extended her arm. “It’s so nice to meet you, Farih. I love, your Victoria Secret campaign.” Lena’s voice slightly trembled.

  “Thank you, girl, but you look like you need to be modeling beside me. Denise, you never told me how stunning your friends are.” Farih held on to Denise’s arm.

  Farih’s pleasant disposition made Lena wonder if she was aware of her past with Denise.

  “This is Terrin, my ... girlfriend.” Lena put her arm around Terrin’s back.

  Terrin shook hands with Denise and Farih.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Terrin.” Denise forced the words out of her mouth.

  “It’s nice to finally meet you too.”

  Terrin and Denise caught eyes again.

  “OK, now that all that awkward shit is out of the way, can we start the party?” Cooley’s soft voice echoed.

  Everyone headed into the house.

  “Cooley, is Sahara here? I love her music.” Lena’s question caused everyone to pause.

  Cooley fought to keep a straight face. “Nah, she won’t be coming.” She took a sip from her Corona.

  Carmen quickly changed the subject.

  Drinks were pouring, and music was playing. The gang laughed as though nothing was wrong.

  Lena felt more at ease than she expected. She caught herself catching glances at Denise and Farih. She had to admit, they made a beautiful couple.

  Lena glanced over at Denise again, only to catch Denise’s eyes on her. They lingered for a moment. Lena’s heart began to pound.