The Iris Boys Series

by Smoke, Lucy

  "Hey..." I started, hesitantly wrapping my arms around him as best I could.

  "We were so fucking worried about you, Little Bit," he said in a rush of breath that blew several strands of my hair away from my face.

  I sighed into his chest, laying my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

  After a moment, Knix finally put me down, passing me to Bellamy, who swept me into his arms. "What were you thinking, Sweetheart?" he chastised.

  "I couldn't let him go alone," I said, hugging him back.

  Bellamy shook his head against me, his hair brushing against my hot cheeks. I ran my fingers through the dark waves and lifted them to my face as I held him. He smelled like soap and cinnamon—just like Bellamy. I sighed and snuggled closer. Now that all the adrenaline had passed through me, my body was catching up with the time and I was exhausted.

  "—thinking!" I looked up as Knix's voice rose above the quiet whisperings between Bellamy and me.

  Grayson stood quietly to the side as Knix towered over him, his chest heaving, and his cheeks flushed with anger. I had never seen him so worked up. Knix actually looked like he might take a swing at Grayson if he said the wrong thing. And Grayson must have realized it because he wasn't replying in his usual manner. He wasn't being defiant or rude or condescending or a smartass or anything. That...was actually kind of worrying me.

  Bellamy pulled me away, towards the passenger side of the SUV and I looked around as he did. "Where are the others?" I asked. Texas and Marv had called and texted as well, but I hadn't let myself check those yet.

  "Marv went to your dorm," Bellamy answered. "We were hoping to catch you before you left. Texas is back with Josh."

  I bit my lip. "I'm sorry I worried you guys."

  "You should be," Bellamy said sharply. I winced at his tone and he softened with a slow breath. "With everything going on, Sweetheart, we just didn't want anything to happen to you."

  I nodded. "I know, but I knew he'd go with or without me and I didn't want him to go alone. He needed back up. He's part of the team."

  Bellamy's eyes narrowed as he looked back over his shoulder towards Grayson before his gaze found mine again. "Harlow," he started, "Grayson isn't Iris."

  "But he is this time," I argued. "At least for now—for this mission. And we don't let teammates go without backup."

  I shook my head hard, glaring up at him. I didn't care that his dark coffee eyes were beautiful, and the worry was still etched into his features. Yes, it made me feel bad that I had worried them. But I had sent that text to warn them. Because if we were going to be a team then I needed to follow their example. I needed to be as honest with them as they were with each other and they needed to be honest with me too. Before I could open my mouth and unleash all of my fury and self-righteousness, however, Knix appeared at my side, startling me.

  "Bell, go with Caruso," he ordered, his eyes dark. "Make sure he gets back to the house."

  Just before Bellamy left, Knix grabbed his arm. "And no fighting. I don't care what he's done. I don't care if you're pissed—I know you have every right to be, but he doesn't get the Iris way. Remember that. He never got a chance. They're okay. Focus on that, and just let the rest settle for tonight. I'm sure they're both tired."

  As ready as I was for a verbal assault, I deflated at Knix's words. I watched as Bellamy nodded once, then stalked over to the sedan where Grayson was already waiting in the passenger seat. I was shocked that he had even followed Knix’s orders. Not Bellamy, but Grayson. He hadn’t yelled or argued, but he’d taken Knix’s chastising quietly and gracefully, which was very unlike him. Was he okay?

  “Harlow?” Knix disrupted my thoughts, and I looked up as he opened the passenger side door to the SUV. “Let’s get out of here.”

  I grimaced but nodded, and then proceeded to climb and lift myself into the high seat. Knix closed my door behind me as we turned and watched Bellamy and Grayson pull out of the parking lot. I wondered if Bellamy would say anything as they made their way back. Or if Grayson would.

  * * *

  The moment Knix and I were alone he turned and leaned over the console. I jumped out of shock as he pressed his lips to mine. His big hand closed over my shoulder and he squeezed, pulling me closer. I moved into him without even realizing what I was doing. How could these guys make me lose my mind just by simply kissing me? Maybe it was my lack of experience with guys before knowing them. But I sure was making up for that now.

  Knix's kiss swept me away. It was rougher than the first kiss we had shared, almost desperate. My heartbeat thudded against the inside of my ribcage. I closed my eyes and sank into the feel of his soft lips pressing mine open. He pulled back and tilted his head, his hand moving around to the back of my neck. As if I would back away. As if I would want him to stop. I didn't. I fell into the kiss and let him move against me. I found myself gravitating towards him like a small planet circling the sun. He was pulling me closer, yanking me deep into the kiss.

  My hands closed around the collar of his shirt, and I gripped the fabric tight, dragging myself closer. I was halfway over the console, but so was he. The interior of the SUV was hot, our breaths combining as our mouths opened and we dove into each other. I gasped when Knix's hand slid back down to my arm and then even further. His fingers searched for the seatbelt and when he realized I had yet to do it, he gripped my hip and then half dragged, half pulled me over into his lap. Something hard pressed against my thigh. My head was spinning, my mind dizzy. I pulled back, but Knix's mouth followed, seeking me out.

  "Harlow," Knix's rough whisper against my lips made me shudder in his arms. I finally managed to tug myself away from his mouth. As I sucked in air, panting, Knix's lips trailed against my jawline and then to the column of my throat. He left wet, open-mouthed kisses against my skin and when he got to the sensitive place where shoulder met neck, he sucked hard and I arched up into his touch. Sharp electric sparks drove themselves into my veins. My breasts ached. The place between my legs cried out.

  I had to stop this. Didn’t I? No matter how badly my body didn’t want to—how badly I didn’t want to—I knew that I needed to pull away. It was Knix who finally managed to pull away and I had to force myself not to dive for his mouth again. My skin tingled where his big hand cupped my thigh and where his other arm pressed against my back as we both took heavy, uneven breaths.

  “That was—” he started before he had to stop and swallow. “I’m sorry,” he continued, “I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand.”

  A heady feeling thrummed in my veins. I blinked and bit my bottom lip to keep from whimpering as he set me away from him—returning me to my seat. I clenched my thighs together, but nothing would assuage the tender feeling between them. My cheeks flamed red when Knix looked at me. I turned my face away, trying to slow the rise and fall of my chest.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I swallowed and licked my lips before finally turning to meet his gaze. "I'm fine," I rasped. Knix took a moment to look me over as if he didn't quite believe me, but he eventually just let it go, and rested back against his own seat.

  "I was really worried something had happened to you when you didn't answer us," he said.

  "We were already inside by the time you guys started calling."

  He nodded. "Yes, I gathered that, but still..." Knix grimaced and after a beat of silence, he sighed. "I know Grayson's heart is in the right place," he paused before adding, "most of the time."

  "I get where he's coming from," I said quietly. "It does feel like we're not doing enough. Every time I go to class or sleep in my dorm room, I feel like I'm moving on without Erika and it makes me feel like a crap best friend." The admission hurt to say aloud, but it needed to be said. Even though my chest ached, at least I had gotten my thoughts out and now he knew. If anyone should know, it was Knix. Knix would know what to do. He was the leader, the fixer. I looked at him to gauge his reaction.

  "Grayson is too wild right now, Harlow," he
said. "I understand that you worry about your friend, but we can't go in, guns blazing. That's not how we operate. I promise you this though, Little Bit." Knix reached over and lifted my chin with his thumb and forefinger. "You're a part of us and Erika is a part of you. We will find her and we will help her."

  My eyes burned with unshed tears. I hadn't known just how badly I had needed to hear him—to just hear someone—say that, but now that it was said, it eased something inside of me. His confidence gave me confidence. I sniffed hard and gave Knix a watery smile.

  "Thank you." He smiled back, leaning over to brush his firm lips softly across mine. It was unexpected and sweet, like ice cream on a hot summer night. I reached for his hand and twined my fingers with his as I kissed him back. When we parted, though, there was still something more I needed to say.

  "I want Grayson to be in Iris."

  Knix pulled back and reached for the ignition. The SUV rumbled to life and only when he put the car into gear and began rolling towards the parking lot exit, did he speak. "Why?" he asked.

  I reached for my seatbelt and buckled up. "Because I think he needs it," I replied.

  Knix raised both eyebrows as we turned onto the street, heading back towards the house. "You think he needs it?" he repeated curiously. "Did he say anything?"

  I shook my head. "Not exactly. He told me that whatever he did to make Marv hate him so much, he didn't want to do it, but he had to. You didn't see him Knix; you didn't see his face. I think he regrets being unable to join up with Iris. I mean, think about it. Why else would he want me to be so cautious?"

  Knix frowned and turned to face me as we rolled up to a red light. "You believe that he's jealous of your opportunity in Iris?"

  "No, that's not it," I continued. "He practically said that after he and Marv had that falling out, he was cut off from Iris. Before, he was supposed to be in it though, right?"

  The light turned green and the car rolled forward. "According to his file, he withdrew his interest among other things," Knix admitted.

  I blinked. "There are files?" Tilting my head to the side, I squinted in his direction. "Is there one on me? Can I see it?" Knix's lips quirked as he turned down another street. I sighed. "Right, never mind." That wasn't the point. "The point is," I said, “I’m pretty sure Grayson never actually lost interest. His withdrawal is because of whatever happened with Marv. And that's not really grounds for him being eliminated as a possibility, is it?" I still wasn't a hundred percent sure. I had been given information, but it wasn't like I could pull up everything I had learned about Iris at the drop of a hat.

  "No, but things have changed," Knix reminded me. "Grayson has changed. Does he even want to be in Iris? Did you ask him?"

  "I didn't say he wanted to be in Iris," I replied. "I said he needed Iris, there's a difference." As the SUV turned down the street the duplex was on, I knew we were running out of time. I flipped on my side, facing Knix with my seatbelt tight across my arm. "Please, Knix, at least think about it. Bring it up to Alex? I think that Grayson is alone and that's why he's trying so hard to help his brother, but Josh isn't there for him. Grayson doesn't really have anyone. I had Erika and my mom, but you still came for me."

  "That's different. Erika is your friend and she certainly didn't know how bad off you were. Your mother was and still is incapable of helping you with anything. She has to be looked after 24/7."

  "But you still came for me, even though you didn't need to."

  "You were already in our periphery," Knix said. "You were about to be approached by Alex anyway."

  I opened my mouth to argue further, but he pulled into the driveway just behind Grayson's sedan and held up a hand. "Hold up, before you jump on me," he said. "I’m not saying no.” I sat back and waited as he continued. “If you can keep this to yourself, I’ll contact Alex and see what he says."

  I grinned. "Thank you, Knix. You won't regret it." I hoped not, anyway.

  He stared at me. "Harlow?"

  "Yes?" I held my breath.

  "If Alex agrees, then you can consider how Grayson acts from this point onward in this investigation part of his interview process. You cannot let him know anything, do you understand?"

  I nodded excitedly.

  "That doesn't mean he will be accepted—if he even wants to be accepted," Knix said seriously.

  "I understand. Just as long as he has a chance."

  Knix sighed. "If a chance is what you want to give him, then let him earn it." Knix got out of the car, and I unbuckled my seatbelt before scrambling out as well. Something else was bothering me, though. Something else I needed to tell him—well, really, that I needed to tell everyone.

  "Knix," I called out just before he reached the porch.

  When he turned and quirked a brow, my stomach sank a little. "There’s one more thing," I admitted nervously. "I just wanted you to know that um...well, we're all being honest with each other, right?" He nodded with a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. I hoped he wouldn't be nearly as upset as I knew Marv would be. "And you know about what happened between me and Bellamy?" I asked.

  Knix turned fully to face me. "Is this about what went down at Ms. Enders' Camp?" he asked.

  "Not exactly, but I knew I needed to tell you about that." I looked to the ground and dug the toe of my shoe into the concrete.

  "Little Bit," Knix stepped closer and tucked his fingers under my chin again, lifting my gaze to meet his once more, "you can tell me anything."

  God, I hoped he was right. "I kissed Grayson tonight."

  His fingers fell away and if the surprise on his face was anything to go by, I knew he definitely hadn't been expecting me to drop that bomb. "You...kissed Grayson?"

  I nodded and then took a breath. "I'm not..." I swallowed, my throat suddenly bone-dry. "It wasn't..." I closed my eyes. "I don't regret it," I said quickly. "I don't regret kissing him, just like I don't regret kissing you, or Bellamy, or Marv, or Texas. You all mean so much to me and I feel like you should be mad at me because I keep kissing you and your friends—well, except for Grayson—but—"

  "Is that why you want him in Iris?" The hard tone of Knix's voice made me keep my eyes shut and I turned my head to the side. "Do you..." It sounded like it was hard for him to say whatever he was trying to say. Out of instinct, I peeked my eyes open. That surprised expression was still on his face, but more importantly...he looked scared.

  I opened my eyes all the way and stepped towards him. "Knix?"

  He shook his head and kept me away with a raised palm. "Just tell me something, Harlow." I stood completely still, heart racing, breath stuttering. "Do you care about him more than you do us? Would you rather start a team with him?"

  I exhaled on a rush of relief. That was what he was worried about? I shook my head once again. "Of course not," I said. I cared about them all equally...even Grayson, though I suspected even the marginal amount of care would seem like entire mountains for someone who seemed so starved of it.

  Knix sighed, too. "Just as long as I still have a shot, Little Bit," he said. "I find that I can't help wondering when, one day, you'll give me up."

  I frowned, confused. "Give you up?"

  Knix smiled, but it was sad—it didn't quite meet his eyes. There was no crinkling in the corners, and no twitching of his lips. It was so unlike him that it startled me.

  "I know we haven't been exactly fair with you," he said, his hands clenching at his sides. "We're all tiptoeing on a line that I don't even know who drew. After this job is over, maybe it'll be time," he said.

  "Time?" My brows lowered. "Time for what?" When he raised his gaze to meet mine, my heart stopped.

  "Time for you to choose," he said. “Whether or not you’ll stick with Iris full time or not.”

  Chapter 13

  “I’m making a mistake.”

  “No, you’re going to be fine.”

  “Nope. I’m most definitely making a mistake. I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t even be considering this. I mean me? With
four guys? It’s just not possible.”

  “Well technically, it’s five guys if what you told me about Grayson and you determines anything more,” Lizzie pointed out.

  Yes, I had told her. Was I regretting it? Not yet. But I had a sick churning feeling in my gut. I could feel the sweat sliding down my spine. Was it normally so hot in South Carolina? Probably. Maybe. I had been a little more preoccupied with other things than the state’s weather report, though, so who would really know? A weatherman probably. But not me. Definitely not me.

  “You’re freaking out,” Lizzie said.

  DUH! State the obvious much? Jesus, I needed to chill out. I paced one way across the front of Chipley Hall, turned, and paced back. “Of course I’m freaking out,” I said. “Wouldn’t you be?”

  “Well, I wouldn’t be nearly sleeping with five guys, soooooo…” Lizzie quirked an eyebrow and pointedly trailed off.

  “I haven’t even slept with any of them,” I muttered.

  “Which is severely confusing to my Marvin-Gaye-get-it-on brain,” Lizzie replied. “You need to get laid.”

  I rolled my eyes and paced away.

  “Okay look,” she said hopping down off the patio railing. “Maybe you just need to sit down and talk with all of them.”

  “Oh yeah, that’ll go great,” I snapped. “Marv will only be at Grayson’s throat the minute I tell everyone what happened. Knix will still expect me to choose. Texas might be hurt and Bellamy…Bellamy will…” Fuck, I didn’t know. I had no clue what Bellamy would do. I stopped and pushed the heels of my palms to my eyes. I was out of my mind to think this could ever have worked. This was it, I was out of Iris. I had found my people, my group, and I was out all over something stupid. I should’ve just stopped.

  I squeezed my eyes closed and pressed harder, as though I could erase all of my stupid actions. “I should never have kissed any of them back,” I muttered aloud.