by Casey Hays
I don’t agree with him, I know myself too well. I am not unselfish. But I stare at him, wondering if this is sarcastic Ian or sincere Ian.
“You think I’m crazy to even think about filling such a horrible position after what Mona did to you, don’t you?”
“Crazy?” He laughs almost sadly. “No, Kate. The position isn’t what’s crazy. Mona? Now, she’s crazy. But you? You will be a different kind of leader. I understand. I don’t like it, but I understand.”
I peer at him curiously. “So this is it? You’ll stop asking me to go with you?”
His eyes turn sad, and the daring fire in me dies a little. But he raises his hand and runs it across my cheek.
“I want you to know something, Kate. I have never felt like this about anyone before. And I have this ridiculous fear that if I have to be separated from you, all the air will be sucked out of the atmosphere. I don’t ever want to feel that way again.”
He sighs and shakes his head while I do my best to keep breathing.
“But . . . ” he continues, “if this is what you want, then yes, I’ll stop asking you to go. I hate it—and it will kill me to do it—but I will. I wish you didn’t feel such a need to save your village, but as much as I hate this place, I can’t ask you to turn your back on it. I get it. And I love you enough to let you go, if it’s what you need.”
His words sting me, as beautiful as they are. They stab at my heart right in the very place where all my love for him sits. Yes. I know it now. I love him, and I want to tell him. I want to tell him that I never, ever want to cause him to suffer, but the words stick in my throat.
“I will respect whatever you decide. But just know . . .” He dips his head to look into my eyes. “I will never stop loving you.”
I can’t bear the look in his eyes, so I say something to lighten the emotions that are weighing down on me.
“Do you think people will look at me differently when I’m leader?”
He tilts his head slightly and leans in, his eyes steady.
“Am I looking at you differently now?” he whispers.
I laugh softly and push him away. His eyes twinkle like all the stars above us, and he kisses my palm gently.
“You are not Mona, Kate. People better look at you differently.”
After this, he kisses me. My lips part just slightly under the pressure of his. It’s a beautiful thing, a kiss. It says so much with no words at all.
“If you stay,” Ian says, characteristically running his fingers down my cheek until I shiver under them. “I will come back—all the time. Every day, if I can.”
“Every day? No, you won’t.” I smile into his blue eyes. “That would be impossible.”
“That’s what makes it worthwhile. To do the impossible. I do it every day, Kate.”
I laugh at his silly notion.
“I love you,” he whispers again, and I never want him to stop saying it. “I will love you until the day I die, even if I never see you again.”
I swallow the lump that builds in my throat. He kisses me again and leans back against the tree.
“Justin likes you.” He pulls me against him. “Not that it would matter, but I’m glad.”
I press myself into him, wishing we could stay here forever: me in his arms and the world at a standstill.
“I like him, too. He seems sensible. And genuine. I didn’t think I cared for him the first time we met. I was wrong.”
“He’s a good guy,” Ian agrees. “The best friend I have. I trust him with my life.”
We’re quiet, staring up together at the stars. Wispy clouds drift below them, causing intermittent interruptions in their twinkling. I don’t see the Archer tonight, and I’m glad. I don’t care to have him overseeing this intimate moment of which Fate surely disapproves.
“So this guy in the Pit?” Ian’s question startles me, and I tense. “Who is he?”
I snuggle closer to him before I answer. Above all else, I want him to know that nothing I say will hinder what we have fostered in these few months.
“His name is John. He’s from the stock, but . . .” I look up and meet his gaze. “He’s been to Eden.”
Ian starts, and his eyes widen. “What?”
I nod. “He ran away several years ago. He was in Eden a couple of months only, but he was gone from my village for nearly two years before Mona caught him and dragged him to the Pit. After she cut out his tongue . . . . ” I add with a bitter tone.
Ian is speechless, staring at me with incredulity. “Wow. How did he get away?”
“He fled from the nursery when a nanny left a gate unlocked. That’s all I know.” I shrug. “We do have a difficult time communicating. But he is a good man. And he is my friend . . . and nothing more.” I emphasize my last words. Ian nods and settles back against the tree, pulling me to him.
“No tongue, huh? That’s too bad. And you’re sure about Eden?”
I nod against his chest. “He writes for me . . . in the dirt. I am certain about Eden. And I think . . . he’s afraid of it. He told me Eden was dangerous.”
“Did he? Well, I suppose it has its problems. What place doesn’t? I mean, even your village has its dangers.”
I consider this. Anyone who’s crossed Mona has tasted of the dangers the Village poses. He is not wrong.
“I suppose so,” I answer quietly.
Ian is silent after this, lost in thought. I give him a moment before I broach the subject that truly haunts my mind.
“I have another friend. Diana?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, I was hoping that you might take her . . . when you go?”
Ian raises a brow and peers down his nose. “You were? And you’ve talked with her about this?”
“Yes. She approached me about it months ago, but you were gone by then. And, well, it’s just . . . now that you’re here, I think she’d still go.”
“So she’s ready to leave, but I can’t convince you.” He eyes me tenderly. “Interesting.”
I raise myself up and take his hand, wanting him to understand Diana’s desperation. “I wouldn’t say she’s ready to go. It’s just—she’s—she’s dying inside. She has one baby—and she’s pregnant—and her whole life is centered on protecting those babies, and—”
“Whoa! Hold up. She’s pregnant?” He flies up to a sitting position, almost knocking me out of the way with the motion. “I don’t know about that. We travel kind of rough. I don’t think she could handle the trip.”
“She could.” I squeeze his hand that still clings to mine. “I know she could. She’s one of the strongest people in our village.”
“You’re asking a lot, Kate.”
“I know. And I know it’s unfair. But I don’t want to watch her fade away, and I’m afraid she will if she stays. Her only chance is to leave as soon as she can.”
“Kate—”
“Please,” I grab his other hand and squeeze them both. “You have to take her. I promise you she can make the trip. I have no doubt.”
I say this with more confidence than I feel. I have no idea what traveling will be like. I’ve never traveled. But I know Diana, and I have to believe she can do anything if it means saving her children.
Ian appears to be thinking. I hold my breath, waiting. Finally, he nods.
“Okay. Here’s the deal: We’ll take her, but only after I meet her, and I’m certain she can handle the trip.”
I spring to my knees and hug his neck.
“Thank you. She will be so grateful.”
“Sure. But remember what I said. If she seems too weak . . . . How pregnant is she?”
I lean back. “Only a few months. She’s still far from her time.”
He nods. “Just tell her I’m considering it.”
“Yes,” I say hugging him again.
I spend a few hours more with Ian under the stars, kissing, talking, and wishing time would hold still while he holds me.
He loves me. And I love him, too. I want to say s
o, but these are not easy words. I feel a promise in them that scares me . . . and so I’m afraid to utter the oath until I’m sure not to break it. Living in a village that doesn’t promote love makes me doubt. Not Ian . . . but myself.
We say goodnight at the edge of the woods, and I saunter back to my hogan in a dream. But when I reach it, I don’t find it in darkness as I left it, and my heart stops. Hesitantly, I push through the bamboo leaves. Candles light the room, casting an eerie glow that makes the Council leader—standing dead center and glaring at me with darts of rage—even more ferocious. I swallow.
A spine-tingling chill engulfs me, and I know: I’m about to pay a price.
Chapter 28
“Look upon my suffering and deliver me, for I have not forgotten your law. Defend my cause and redeem me; preserve my life according to your promise.” Psalm 119:153-154
Where have you been, Kate?”
Mona’s eyes are fierce, her feet planted firmly, arms crossed in the usual intimidating position. I attempt to hide my fear . . . and fail miserably.
“I was—I forgot the time of day and—”
“You forgot the time of day? In the middle of the night?”
I close my mouth, not willing to say anything that could reveal the truth.
Mona begins to pace menacingly, like the black panther in The Jungle Book. This story is one of my favorites from my childhood, and I had the woman read it to me many times. The panther comes to life now before me as Mona halts and leans in.
“Tell me the truth, girl.”
I swallow. “I went for a walk. There is no crime in this.”
A malicious smile spreads across Mona’s face, and she clucks her tongue. “That, my dear, depends on where you walk. Come, I have something to show you.”
Before I can respond, she grabs my arm and drags me from the hogan. Her nails dig deep crevices into the scars on my wrist. I cringe but keep silent.
I’m hauled along, wondering what she plans for me this time. We don’t move in the direction of the woods, so I have hope that she knows nothing about Ian. In fact, we don’t leave the Village, and I breathe a small sigh of relief.
There is a small, wooden shack a few yards from the Great Hall, and this is where Mona takes me. She yanks open the door and pushes me through, and I stumble over the threshold, falling hard on my hands and knees.
“Get up, Kate.” Mona kicks me. I yelp. “Take a look at what we found snooping around the Village.”
I’m encircled by several Council members, Tara being the most recognizable. My eyes adjust to the dim candlelight, and I see him. His wrists and ankles are tied to the arms and legs of a chair. His head sags heavily to one side, and his eyes are swollen shut. He’s covered in blood, his face so red and swollen that I can barely make him out. But under the dried and matted blood sticking to his hair I see it—a mass of thick, blond curls.
I know who he is. Ian’s friend . . . Jesse.
Horrified, I stand.
“Mona. What are—”
“Hold your tongue, Kate!” she hisses raising a threatening hand. I fall silent, my eyes resting again on Jesse. “After much persuasion on our part, our little friend here has given us just enough information.” Mona clasps her hands behind her back and paces the floor. “It seems that he and his friends planned a camping trip with a detour that led them all the way here—for you.”
I shake my head frantically, backing away, holding my hands up defenselessly in front of me. My heart pounds in my ears. Jesse isn’t moving. Perhaps he’s already dead, and it’s too late to save any of them. I turn frightened eyes on Mona.
“Now,” Mona continues, purposely ignoring my panic. She indicates Jesse with a toss of her head. “He’s a bit lost and can’t find his way back to his campground. But you, Kate. You know these woods, and I believe you know where this campsite is. You will lead us to his friends. And I can almost guarantee that we’ll find Ian right there with them. Will we not?” Her lips turn up into that evil, sneering smile once more.
I’m not breathing anymore. I cover my ears and slump to the floor. Mona’s anger pierces the room, and she lunges, clutches a fistful of my hair, and yanks me to my trembling feet. Her clenched teeth jeer into my face.
“I have had more than I can bear from you these past few months,” she whispers for only me to hear. The rest of the Council is so quiet, unmoving, as if they aren’t present at all. “If it were not for what Fate has planned for you, I would have killed you long ago. And don’t think I won’t change my mind. Perhaps Fate is wrong this time.”
The tips of my toes barely touch the floor. I flinch as the heat of Mona’s breath bursts with every word, but I force myself to look straight into her eyes.
“Do what you must, Mona.” The words are a strangled effort. “I couldn’t care less for my own life. But I will not give you Ian.”
Mona’s scream erupts like a volcano, and I hit the wall, crashing into the wood and shaking the entire foundation of the shack. I’m a crumpled dizzy pile on the floor. The other Council members are shifting uneasily, but they do not interfere. Never do they interfere. I rest against the wall motionless, pain surging. Mona’s voice hisses from above.
“Fine. We’ll find them without you.” She squats and grabs my chin roughly so that I have to look her in the eyes. “And when we do, you will watch him die. You are not loyal to the Village, Kate—and your rebellion will come at a high price. This is the last time you will put us in danger.”
“Me?” I muster up enough courage to spit out my next words in heavy, painful gasps. “You are the one who brought him here in the first place. Don’t you dare put the blame on me! If you had paired me with one of our own from the beginning, none of this would be happening. You are to blame!”
I scarcely feel Mona’s fist when it slams into my face. And I find myself thinking what’s one more blow if it keeps Ian safe?
“Lock her in.” Mona growls as she turns and storms out.
These are the last words I hear before I black out.
>--->
I ease my eyes open and am greeted with complete blackness and searing pain. The shack is empty; the candles have all burned out. I lie flat on my back on the wood floor. And for a moment, I don’t move. In fact, I don’t know if I can. The pressing darkness suffocates, adding to the heavy grogginess consuming me.
I slowly extend an arm, splaying my fingers across the floor. They bump an object; I grope at it—discover it is the leg of a table. Wincing in pain, I use it to pull myself into a sitting position. I touch my face.
My bottom lip is cracked open and caked with blood. My cheek has swollen to an abnormal size, squeezing my left eye closed. I groan, leaning my throbbing head against the table leg as dizziness overpowers the pain for a moment.
I force myself to stand up, and fortunately, one candle is barely smoldering after all. I blow on it—which is unbearably painful and difficult considering my swollen lips—until it catches and flames back to life. I use it to light three more candles.
Jesse shifts his weight behind me and coughs. So he is alive. I hold a light up to see him more clearly. He peers at me through half-swollen eyelids.
He is big—bigger than any of the others, and I step back instinctively. His size frightens me, and he resembles a hideous monster at the moment, red and bloated. I back further until my hip bumps the edge of the table.
“You look awful,” he says flatly, squinting in the light. He averts his eyes away from the flame.
I stare at him for a minute, assessing how terrible he looks himself before I laugh at the irony of it, and I cringe as the pain of the action envelopes me.
“Ouch! You need a mirror.” I lean heavily on the table.
He grimaces and shifts again. “So who are you?”
“Kate,” I ease back against the wall and slide to a sitting position, holding the candle steady.
“Oh . . . Kate. Sorry. Didn’t recognize you.”
I attempt a shrug, which hur
ts as well, and I carefully set the candle on the floor. “It’s understandable. I surely didn’t look this terrible last time, I hope.
He smiles, but this only makes him more grotesque. His lips are ripped completely open.
“So you’re what the fuss is all about. Can’t say I believe you’re worth it.”
I shake my head. “I’m not.”
He nods and lowers his head painfully.
“How did they catch you?” I ask.
“Got too nosy,” he says. “Saw a pretty girl and let her distract me.” He shakes his head and scowls somewhere under his injuries. “I shouldn’t have come so close. So, you gotta plan to get us out of here?”
His lips barely move, and he can’t quite seem to keep himself upright, but he is definitely alert.
“Me? Why would I have a plan?”
“This is your village. I figured you’d know something.”
I study the walls for a moment. “I’ve never been inside this shack before.”
But I recognized it from the outside. This is Meg’s shack. The memory of her screams engulfs me for a moment. I close my eyes and push her out.
Jesse is looking at me, so I stand and limp to the door, yank once on the handle. I’m not surprised that my effort is futile. I move to the one tiny window and stand on tiptoe to see out. No one is in sight. I yank hard on one of the bamboo stalks that covers it. It’s well fixed and doesn’t budge. My eyes search the room, looking for anything that might help me cut through the stalks. The shack is virtually empty except for the table full of candles and the chair where Jesse is tied. A chair. I see now they are used for all kinds of torture.
I examine a table leg in hopes that I might use it as leverage between the stalks to break one or more. I squat, tug at it, brace my feet against it.
“Get me out of these ropes, will you?” Jesse tugs uselessly on one arm of the chair. “I can help.”
I hesitate. Jesse is massive in size, and the thought of letting him go causes my spine to creep. Is he an ally? Or does he blame me for this?
“How do I know you won’t hurt me?”