Awakening

by JoAnn Durgin

  “I thought we were friends, Sam.” Still no remorse.

  “We are. I consider you my brother.” His voice cracked. Sam stopped, swallowing hard. Josh had no idea how hard this was. It cut him like a knife that he didn’t understand how much he’d hurt himself and others. Throwing him out of the camp was one of the hardest things he’d ever done. He cringed as he realized how much it would hurt Rebekah. “You have a deep problem, but you’re too blind to see it. You need the kind of help I can’t give you. Know I’ll be praying for you, Josh. Always praying.”

  Josh refused his outstretched hand. That cut almost as deep as the betrayal. The Lord would have to deal with him now.

  “I’ll leave as soon as I get my things together.” Yanking his TeamWork identification card out of his wallet, Josh shoved it under Sam’s nose. “Looks like I won’t be needing this anytime soon.” When Sam didn’t flinch and made no move to take the card, he slammed it down on the desk.

  “One question.” Josh hesitated at the door, his look hard and unyielding.

  Sam’s jaw tightened. “I’m listening.” His eyes met those of his young friend one final time.

  “Who’s telling Rebekah?”

  CHAPTER 28

  Lexa was completely dumbfounded. She had no idea what to make of the latest turn of events. Josh was gone, and according to the latest rumor, he’d been thrown out by a very angry Sam. Rebekah was sullen and weepy since her twin left, and the general mood of the camp was down. It was whispered that Kevin knew something about the quarrel between the two men that precipitated Josh’s abrupt departure, but he was too discreet to say a word. Lexa hated the air of distrust and unspoken accusations so heavy in the air that affected everyone’s mood.

  If nothing else, the productivity of the TeamWork members increased. They’d already made good headway in rebuilding the two homes destroyed by the fire. From what Lexa heard, Sam hollered out orders and worked himself senseless, pounding away with a hammer and painting at all hours of the day and night. He barely ate, hardly slept. Sam must be trying to lose himself in his work. She wondered if Sam’s insane work spurt might have something to do with their own tenuous relationship.

  One afternoon, after dismissal of the classes at the makeshift schoolroom, Lexa walked over to the worksite with some of the other women. They wanted to help so they had a shot at finishing all the homes before the end of the mission. Rebekah opted to go back to the dorm. Lexa and Winnie tried to coax her into going with them, but she declined. Although Rebekah didn’t say anything, Lexa suspected she wanted to stay as far away from the TeamWork director as possible.

  One of the guys put them in charge of painting, and the girls set about their task as cheerfully as possible. Not wanting to appear obvious, Lexa looked around for Sam, but she overheard one of the men telling another that he’d gone into town.

  It was much too quiet in the house. Dipping her paint roller into the pan, Lexa decided to get something started. “Anybody hear any good jokes lately?” She winked at Amy since she was the most outgoing. Being a journalist, she always seemed to have a good story or joke.

  Taking the hint, Amy launched into an amusing story. Soon, the women and several of the men painting in an adjacent room shared a rousing exchange of everything from favorite old television stars and movie plots to the merits of televised football. They all laughed and joked as usual, the mood much more relaxed. It was a welcome change, and Lexa smiled with quiet satisfaction as she worked.

  “Sam sure is a changed man,” Natalie commented as they walked back to the campsite a couple of hours later. “Whatever happened between he and Josh must have been a real doozy.” She shook her head. “Two Christian men should be able to work out their differences. I wouldn’t have thought Sam had it in him to act so childish.”

  Lexa’s spine stiffened at the comment, not wanting to pass judgment without knowing the facts. “I think Sam’s eaten up about it. You’ve seen how despondent and withdrawn he is lately. It must have been something serious for him to force Josh to leave. Heaven knows, he needs all the workers he can get right now—especially good, faithful workers like Josh.”

  “What are you saying?” Winnie shot her a curious look.

  Lexa shrugged. “I’m sure Sam had his reasons. If nothing else, I’ve learned he’s a fair man. He may be a bit judgmental at times, certainly stubborn, perhaps impetuous . . . and grouchy,” she murmured, shaking her head. “But overall, he’s not a man to jump to conclusions and make rash decisions. That much I do know.” Well, he had jumped to a conclusion about her, but that was an entirely different situation. How ironic.

  “I take it you and Sam aren’t seeing each other anymore.”

  Lexa gaped at Winnie, not bothering to hide her surprise.

  “What? Like you don’t know you and Sam are the talk of the camp?”

  “We are? I had no idea . . .” Lexa shook her head, dumbfounded. She shouldn’t be surprised.

  “Come on, Lexa,” Winnie chided. “It was plain as day that you two were headed for the hot romance of the summer. For the record, I’m really sorry things didn’t work out.”

  Lexa was silent, humiliated everyone in the camp knew her personal business. She imagined there’d also been speculation about why her relationship with Sam had soured. It was human nature to gossip, after all, even in the TeamWork camp.

  Perhaps she should be grateful Josh’s departure had taken precedence in the minds of the other volunteers in recent days and distracted their attention. She personally missed Josh’s easygoing manner and his friendship. Her footsteps quickened, seized with the overwhelming urge to get as far away from the others as possible. She needed to distance herself so she could think and pray alone.

  Lexa took off for the tree, bidding the others good-bye as they headed for the dorm. Sliding down to a sitting position, she crossed her arms on her knees.

  “Oh Father, help Sam. I don’t know what happened between him and Josh, but I know it must have been something very serious to have caused such a rift between them. Help them to look to you for guidance and wisdom in mending their fences and coming to a mutual understanding of how great you truly are. Help them know that you are the great healer of relationships. You can make things right again if they’d just get over their stubbornness long enough to see it.”

  A short while later, Lexa raised her head and started to stand. Stopping halfway up, she startled to see Sam sitting on the other side of the tree. She’d been so intent in her private time of prayer that she blocked out everything else around her. Sam’s head was bowed, his eyes closed.

  Lexa felt guilty, like an interloper invading Sam’s private sanctuary. But the tree was their special meeting place, a place that held fond memories of shared closeness. All over again, her heart hurt. It would always ache whenever she thought of Sam and the TeamWork camp. Rising and quietly brushing the dust from her shorts, Lexa began to tiptoe away.

  “Don’t go.”

  Turning, Lexa looked down at Sam through veiled eyes.

  “Please. I want to talk to you.” Maybe it was his tone of voice, maybe it was the forlorn-looking expression, maybe it was those haunted blue eyes. She froze.

  “Will you come sit down by me? It’s kind of hard to talk to you when you’re standing there glaring at me.” The request was tinged with a hint of Sam’s hidden humor. Lexa dropped down to sit beside him, her heart thundering.

  “I suppose you’re wondering what happened with Josh.”

  Lexa stared at the far distant horizon instead of looking into those incredible eyes. It was dangerous how she could so easily lose herself in them. She inhaled a quick breath. Her feelings for Sam were just the same as before. They hadn’t changed at all. Even if he thought she was a wanton, loose woman, Lexa held special feelings for this man. In his heart, Sam couldn’t believe she’d been having an affair with the same person as Shelby.

  “I’ve heard rumors.”

  “I hope you don’t believe them.” He dislodged
a dried clump of mud from the top of his boot and stretched out his long legs.

  “I don’t know what to believe, Sam. All I know is that I hate to see you, Rebekah and everyone else around here so down in the mouth. It’s brought the whole spirit of the camp down. I’m sure that’s not what you intended.” Lexa drew a circle in the dirt by her feet. Both were doing a good job of avoiding eye contact.

  “No, it’s not.”

  When she dared look his way, Sam shook his head and ran a hand through his unruly hair before scratching his rough beard. He looked distracted, and she felt a tug on her heart. “Not to mention you’re looking a bit shaggy there, Mr. Lewis,” Lexa teased with a gentle smile. Sam chuckled. It wasn’t full of the same humor as before, but it held promise and gave Lexa renewed hope.

  “I was wondering if you’d go with me somewhere this Saturday. Just Saturday, and only for a few hours.”

  Lexa tilted her head, pretending to weigh the option. “I don’t know. If I violate the terms of my probation, I could be in big trouble, mister. The director of this particular camp is pretty strict.” When Sam cracked a small grin, her heart soared.

  “Not a problem. The probation period is long gone. I know the director pretty well, and I know he’d give his stamp of approval. If it makes you feel any better, we’ll throw in a little business on the side for good measure.”

  “I don’t know . . .” Lexa repeated, looking up at him and meeting his gaze. Why did he want her to go with him? Did he want to rekindle their relationship? Please, Lord, let it be so.

  “We don’t have much longer at the camp, and I’ve made a decision.”

  “A decision?” Lexa blew out a sigh. Time for yet another surprise. Oh, joy. “You’ve got my attention now, so you might as well spill it.” She had a feeling it was going to be another one of those surprises she’d rather not hear.

  “I’m not going back to my financial planning business in Houston. I’m becoming a full-time director with TeamWork, supervising different projects around the world.” Standing up and dusting off his hands, Sam started pacing beneath the tree. “Look, I didn’t plan on just blurting it out like that, but I suppose there’s no time like the present. This whole episode with Josh made me realize I need to be in a full-time, ministry-related position.”

  Sam gestured toward the campsite with one hand. “When I’m not busy being a jerk, I usually do a pretty decent job running these work camps. Don’t judge me by this one. I’ve made some painfully obvious mistakes.”

  Lexa raised her head and rose to stand in front of him. Sam stopped pacing and they stood facing one another. Her heart was in her throat. She spoke quietly, forcing her voice to stay calm.

  “Am I one of those mistakes, Sam?”

  Sam stepped closer. At first, Lexa thought he would try and touch her, pulling her into the circle of his arms. But instead he stood about a foot away, his hands hanging at his sides. He watched her without speaking for what seemed like an eternity. He looked like he had so much to say, yet he said nothing for a long time.

  “You might find this hard to believe, Lexa . . .” The lump in his throat was visible, the emotion evident in his eyes. “You’re one of the best things to ever happen to me. But I blew it, big time. I’m so sorry I said those hateful, horrible things. So sorry I hurt you. You didn’t do anything, and you didn’t deserve my anger. You have to understand that I was overcome with a sudden, jealous anger. I didn’t want to think lightning struck twice.” Sam cleared his throat. “I pray in time you can forgive me.”

  “And why do you want me to come with you this weekend?”

  The way he looked at her showed Lexa how much he cared. His eyes softened, and drew her in with their compassion. “I want to spend some time with you before you leave. I don’t know when and if we’ll see each other again. I know it’s a lot to ask, but it’s something I want. In here,” he whispered, placing one hand over his heart. “Will you humor an old man, please?” His voice wasn’t desperate, wasn’t pleading, but it was deeply earnest.

  Looking at him now, Lexa realized Sam really did want her company. To think she might not see him again after she left the worksite sent a spike into her heart. Lexa couldn’t breathe. It was as strong—and painful—as a physical blow. She turned away from him and placed her arm across her abdomen.

  “Lexa?” Sam was at her side in an instant, a light hand on her arm.

  “I’m okay.” Straightening up, she tried her best to recover her lost composure. Aware of Sam’s concern, she couldn’t reveal her true feelings. Lexa didn’t want him to see how intensely she felt his words, how much she’d miss him when he wasn’t in her life anymore. Not every day, not every week, month or possibly ever again. Never. Never seemed like such a crass, horrible word. It was so final, so abrupt.

  She started to walk back toward the camp. As expected, he fell into step beside her. “I’ll go with you this weekend, Sam.”

  “Good. And Lexa?”

  “Yes?” She paused, looking up at him.

  “Thanks for fixing my screen door. You did a great job.”

  “How did you know it was me?” She glimpsed those endearing smile lines.

  A broad grin spread across his face, relaxing the worried lines etched on his forehead.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe a little armadillo told me.”

  CHAPTER 29

  Sam proved a very knowledgeable, capable guide as he drove them into San Antonio late on Saturday morning. “San Antonio was founded in 1718 with the construction of the Spanish mission, the Villa de San Fernando, which was later called the Alamo.” He turned left onto the main road that would take them into the city. “You might not know that San Antonio was also heavily influenced by a strong German immigration during the nineteenth century.”

  “Really?” Lexa’s brows rose as she turned her head to gaze out the window. “That’s surprising.” She brushed a long strand of hair away from her face, and felt Sam’s eyes on her. He’d been doing that a lot, but she didn’t dare look at him. They might have an accident.

  “You probably didn’t make it to La Villita with the other ladies on your weekend off, did you?” When she shook her head, he continued. “La Villita is Spanish for little town, and it’s the original settlement of Old San Antonio. It’s on the east bank of the San Antonio River, developed in the mid-to-late 1800s, next to the Alamo. You’d really like it, and it’s a shame I don’t have time to show it to you. It’s in the heart of the downtown district and has an active arts and crafts community.”

  He made another turn. “La Villita is similar to the Riverwalk with its restaurants and shops, but instead of a lot of hotels, there’s this beautiful, dramatic backdrop of landscaped grounds and historical buildings that show the influence of the Spanish, Mexican, German, French, American and native Texan people who settled here. They have a big festival every year called The Fiesta to celebrate Texas’s independence from Mexico.”

  “How do you know so much about San Antonio?” Lexa was impressed with his wealth of knowledge about most things in life, and it was clear he was a history enthusiast.

  “My grandfather—my dad’s father—lived here for years after my grandmother died.” Sam’s voice grew much softer at the mention of his grandparents.

  “How long have they been gone?”

  “My grandmother died about the time I started high school, and my grandfather died about seven years ago. They were both great people, full of life and active right up to the end. My grandfather used to rebuild the engines of old airplanes, and my grandmother made gorgeous quilts, and the best peach pie in the world.”

  “They sound wonderful. You must have loved them very much.”

  “I did. Grandpa Lewis used to love to come downtown with all us kids—all six of us, bless his heart, brave man—and he’d march us around for hours, showing us everything and pounding the history into our brains.”

  Lexa smiled. “Kind of a forced education?”

  “I guess you could
call it that,” Sam agreed, laughing. “I’m the first to admit I never thought all that stuff would stay in my brain, but surprisingly, it has. Helps that I’m a history buff.”

  “Maybe it’s also because you loved the teacher. It made the history lesson more personal. It helps you remember all those things.”

  Sam nodded, his appreciation for her comment reflected in his eyes.

  “When did you decide to go to work full-time for TeamWork?” They sat in the car outside the lumber supply company after Sam picked up a few last building materials to complete the houses. After spending nearly an hour inside the store, the back of the station wagon was piled high with lumber, paint and other supplies.

  “How much time do you have?” Sam pulled out of the parking lot. Although his tone was light, Lexa detected an underlying, serious undercurrent. “Want to have lunch before we head back to the campsite?”

  It couldn’t be a random suggestion. “I don’t know. Our track record in public places isn’t exactly the best.”

  His smile was infectious. “Well, then, we need to improve on it before you leave.”

  Sam kept bringing up the fact she was leaving soon. Did it really bother him that much? It was too late to do anything about it now. His decision had been made. Soon Sam would be traveling all over the world. Even if their romance had developed into something solid and strong, it would be nearly impossible to maintain a long-distance relationship under those less-than-desirable circumstances. Maybe it was better how things turned out, after all. But, the question remained—better for her, better for Sam, or better for both of them? It made her sad to think about it.

  Looking down at his watch, Sam frowned, tapping the face a few times. “What time do you have?”

  “Almost one o’clock. Why?”

  He shook his head. “I think my watch has finally ticked its final minutes. I’ll have to take the time,” he said with a grin, “pun intended, to get a new one soon. But now, I don’t want to be late for where I’m taking you.” His sly grin said it all. “We’re going somewhere special.”