Ashlee's Rival Love

by Mary Ann Montoya

  She straightened and took a step toward me. “Unlike you, I’ve had plenty of invitations. At least all of the guys who asked me did it because they wanted to, not because they had to.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You don’t think Tanner invited you to the dance because he wanted to, do you?” She snickered. “Everyone knows he felt obligated.”

  Her words pierced my heart. “That’s not true.” My voice sounded weak and uncertain.

  Her eyes held a flicker of triumph. “Isn’t it? He didn’t want to ask a loser like you. He knows you’re in love with him. He actually feels sorry for you”.

  I swallowed hard and searched her face for signs she was lying. She looked pleased with herself. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  The corner of her mouth lifted into a smirk. “Don’t try to deny it. I’ve always known how you felt about him. Just remember one thing. Tanner belongs to me.” She crossed her arms as if she were hugging him.

  “I don’t want him, but if I did, I could have him.”

  Her eyes shone with uncertainty. “Dream on girl. Tanner loves me.”

  I lifted my chin and glared at her. “You don’t care about him. Tanner’s just a status symbol to you. He deserves better.”

  “You’re jealous because he won’t give you a second look.”

  “How do you know what goes on between us? I’ve gotten to know Tanner well. We spend a lot of time together. Alone.” I drew out the word slowly and deliberately, not caring if I hurt her.

  “Tanner doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t even like you.” Her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparked with anger. “He loves me. He’s the most popular guy at Westview. If the schools hadn’t consolidated, I would have been class vice president. We would have been working together and I would have been as popular as he is. But you had to come along and ruin everything.”

  Tanner was just one big ego trip for her. She didn’t see his sense of humor, how sensitive and caring he was. I had never realized she was so insecure. “I didn’t ruin anything Tiffany. You only care about Tanner’s popularity. You don’t care about him.”

  “You’re just jealous. I love Tanner and he loves me.” Her lips pouted. “He should be taking me to the dance, not someone he feels sorry for.”

  “That’s what you want to think. Maybe you’re afraid that I’m the one he really wants to take.” I climbed into the car and glanced up at her. “You know that Tanner doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to.”

  “He’ll pick me over you anytime.”

  “Really? Then why is he taking me to the dance?” I slipped the key into the ignition and pulled away from the curb. Gripping the steering wheel, I stole backward glances at Tiffany in the rear view mirror. She stood rigid as a statue staring at my car. Finally I turned the corner and put her out of my view. She didn’t have a nice bone in her body. Still, I shouldn’t have lost my temper or let her get to me. I had lost control and stooped to her level. I lied because I was jealous and I wanted her to think Tanner cared about me. But I couldn’t fool myself. He would never pick me over her. She was right. He had asked me to the Frolic because he had to.

  Tears stung my eyes and I blinked to see the road. The traffic grew heavier towards the center of town and I slowed down as I approached the red light.

  A familiar black Cherokee pulled up beside me and Tanner rolled down the window. “Hey, Ashlee, can you follow me? I need to talk to you.”

  What rotten timing. Turning my head away, I wiped the tears from my eyes, careful not to smear the mascara. Luckily I wore sunglasses.

  Tanner leaned toward the window, “It’s important.”

  His voice filled me with happiness but at the same time I didn’t want him to see me looking so pathetic. The light changed and a car honked behind me. I gave Tanner a nod and he edged into my lane in front of me.

  At the next stoplight I removed my glasses and pulled a mirror out of my purse. Glancing down, I checked my eyes pretending I was studying the steering wheel. They were slightly red. That would go away in a few minutes. Careful that Tanner didn’t see, I ran a comb through my hair.

  Since the incident in the lunchroom, we had barely spoken and I wondered what he wanted. We needed to set things straight. We had ended on a sour note in the lunchroom. I couldn’t admit I lied about having a boyfriend or that he was the mystery guy. And yet I couldn’t let things go on like this. If it came down to it I would have to tell him I didn’t have a boyfriend no matter how humiliating that might be. I had already confronted Tiffany. I might as well be honest with him.

  Maybe, if things went right I would have a chance to talk to him about my surprise. I needed to get back to Mrs. DeGraff with his answer.

  Tanner slowed down and parked next to a group of two storied red brick buildings and I pulled in behind him. We met on the sidewalk.

  He nodded toward the buildings. “I have to wait till Amy finishes her ballet class. It should be over in about twenty minutes,” Tanner said holding his passenger door open. “Let’s sit in here so we can talk.”

  His car was clean and smelled like leather. Sliding in the seat, I took off my jacket and set it between us as sort of a safety barrier.

  He rested his hands on the steering wheel and stared out the window. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you since our last conversation in the lunchroom, but I didn’t know what to say.”

  “I know what you mean. There’s something I’ve wanted to discuss with you, but I couldn’t. If we could talk about things before we lose our tempers it would help.”

  “You’re right,” he said. “But it’s hard because we seem to upset each other without even trying. That day I couldn’t tell you it hurt because you wanted to go to the dance with your mystery guy. It was tough on my ego. No one wants to be second choice.” He tipped his head toward me. “It doesn’t matter that we were asked to go together. I wanted you to want to go with me.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah,” he said staring right into my eyes.

  Afraid he might read my feelings I lowered my gaze. He was such an awesome guy. His long legs stretched out next to me and the jacket did little to protect my heart. The day was turning out to be great. Tiffany was wrong. He didn’t feel sorry for me. “I didn’t think you wanted me to be your date.”

  “Sure I do. You’re a good friend, and I understand why you want to go with him. I think you should. I’ll tell Mrs. DeGraff we can’t go together.”

  My heart sank. Friends, that’s all we were. He had said it. He didn’t care about me. Tiffany was his girlfriend. Why couldn’t I get that through my head? He wanted to take her. Tiffany was right. “What you mean is that you don’t want to go with me. You would rather go with Tiffany.”

  “That isn’t what I said.”

  “No, but it’s what you meant. You’re trying to get out of our date and I don’t blame you. She’s your girlfriend. But a minute ago you told me you didn’t want to be second choice. Well, I don’t either.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean I would rather take Tiffany. I thought you would be happy. Now you can go with your mystery guy.”

  “That’s just it. There isn’t a mystery guy,” I blurted without thinking. I bit my lip wishing I could take the words back.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Can’t we forget it?”

  “No. What’s going on?” He gently lifted my chin to face him. “Is there a mystery guy, or not?”

  “Not in the way you think.” My voice quivered but I was determined to hold his gaze.

  “You mean you broke up with him?”

  “He was never my boyfriend. He doesn’t feel the same way about me.” It hurt to say it. I sounded pathetic, like I couldn’t get a guy.

  “Why did you lie to me?”

  “I didn’t. I never said there was a mystery guy but I let you believe that there was. I’m sorry.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me the truth?”

  “Fo
r the same reason you got angry with me about the dance. You’re not the only one that has an ego. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t. It’s humiliating.” I was only telling him part of the truth, but I didn’t have a choice. What would he do if he knew he was the mystery guy?

  “I wish I had known this in the beginning but I can understand where you’re coming from.” He sounded compassionate. I hoped it wasn’t pity. “Thanks for being honest. This guy is stupid if he lets you get away from him.”

  I started to laugh. “I don’t think he would agree with you.” He didn’t say anything and eventually I glanced at him. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He had one of those thoughtful expressions on his face. At least he wasn’t angry and he didn’t make me feel bad for what I had done.

  “So are we still going to the Frolic together?” he asked.

  “Yes, if you want to.”

  “I’d like that.” He reached over and playfully flipped a lock of my hair that had fallen forward.

  I smiled calmly, but I wanted to giggle and jump up and down like a five-year-old.

  He glanced back toward the brick buildings. “We still have time before Amy comes. You said you had things you wanted to talk to me about?”

  “Yes, I had a meeting with Principal DeGraff about a surprise I’ve planned for the school. I think it’ll help bring the kids together.”

  “That’s great. You’re doing such a good job as co- pres.”

  “Do you think so?”

  “Yeah. What do you have planned?”

  “That’s the problem. I can’t tell you. I want to present it at the Frolic. But I don’t want you to see it until that night. I’d like you to be surprised. Principal DeGraff says I’ll have to tell you what it is unless you agree to wait.”

  He rubbed his forehead, his face crinkled in a puzzled expression. “I don’t understand why you want to keep it a secret.”

  “It’s hard to explain.” I hesitated and he smiled, encouraging me to continue. I hated to give him only half- truths, but if he knew about the logo he would want to help. And that meant working together. However, I could tell him the other reasons. “I don’t understand it myself,” I finally said. “At first I didn’t think you’d like my idea. And I’m still not sure you will, but it’s more than that. I need to do this by myself. Can you understand that?”

  He nodded slightly. “I’m trying.”

  “Since school started I’ve struggled with being co-president. Half the time I feel like a failure. But if I could help ease some of the tension at school I would feel like I’ve accomplished something. And I’d feel better about being a leader.”

  “I can’t believe this. You’re not a failure. You’re a great co-pres. And I still don’t understand why you have to keep it a secret.”

  “Of course not. You don’t have to prove anything to yourself. You showed everyone what kind of a leader you were the first day of school. You calmed down the audience after the fuss about my shoes.”

  He ran his finger along the black leather steering wheel. “You showed them too. You stayed on stage and kept talking. That was hard.”

  “Yeah, it was. But it’s still different for me. Most Carlies respect you. And even though a lot of the Westies are my friends now, the school doesn’t accept me like they do you.”

  “That’s not true. You’re very popular. Don’t you know that?”

  He was trying to be nice and I loved him for it. “I know what the kids think of me. It isn’t easy to confide in you. It’s kind of humiliating. But I have to work on this project alone.”

  “Ashlee,” his voice was strained and soft, “I don’t know what to say. I’m surprised.”

  I sighed heavily. I had ruined it. He thought I was weird and I couldn’t blame him.

  “You always seem so confident,” he said. “I didn’t know you had any doubts about yourself. I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me.”

  “Right now I feel silly. Especially since you’re so confident.”

  “Sometimes I am but I didn’t have as much to adjust to as you did. Westview is my school and I’ve lived here all my life. You had to come to a new school, a new town, and take on the co-presidency. I think it’s natural that you don’t feel as confident. Look, in the beginning I didn’t feel so sure of myself either. But lately I’ve begun to see that we’ve done some good and most of the kids trust us. They might still be against the consolidation but that doesn’t mean they don’t accept us.”

  Maybe he was right. I had been trying so hard to be the perfect leader. Had I been missing the changes in the school?

  “The students look up to you,” Tanner went on. “Some of them might still give you a hard time. But most of the guys just want to get your attention so they can date you.”

  “Get real.”

  “It’s true.”

  I giggled. “The next thing you’ll be telling me is that Mark Hanson wants to go out.”

  “I wouldn’t be surprised.” His lips curved in a lopsided smile. “I’m sure you get lots of phone calls.”

  “Not from Westies.” Most of the guys that asked me out were Carlies. They were friends and I didn’t think of them as real dates, just friends hanging out. We usually went for a shake at Chanceys or pizza at the Pizza Gallery.

  “That’s because they’re afraid you’ll say no. And some feel weird because they like you but they still think you’re the enemy.”

  Here I was talking about dating other boys with a guy that I loved. And he was in love with my worst enemy. Talk about weird. Besides, he didn’t know how things were. Guys weren’t exactly lined up at my door. He just wanted to build my confidence and I wanted to change the subject. “I’m scared to ask but does this mean I have your approval?”

  His eyes narrowed and his mouth twisted in deep thought. He sat silently for so long I feared he would never answer. “On one condition,” he said.

  “Anything, what is it?”

  “You need to tell the council you have something planned. I think they have a right to know.”

  “Then it will be the council’s project, not mine.” It meant Tiffany would know and I didn’t trust her. “They’ll probably want to change everything.”

  “Not if you tell them at the last meeting before the dance. That will be the day before. They won’t have time to change anything. And at least they’ll know you have a surprise.”

  “That would work. But it could cause another problem. It will probably leak out to the rest of the students.”

  “It might. But the meeting is after school and the next day is Saturday. Not many kids will find out.”

  I didn’t like it. Too many things could go wrong. Or maybe I wanted control. Not that I thought I could do a better job. I was trying to prove something to myself. Or maybe I wanted to impress the cute guy sitting next to me, to show him I cared about the school. “I don’t know why I’m so worried. But I’m glad you agreed.”

  Grinning, he extended his hand. “Then you’ll tell them? It’s a deal?”

  Slipping my hand into his, I was unprepared for the sensations it caused. His hand drew me like a magnet. I leaned closer. His eyes were green firecrackers, sending sparks across my heart. “Sure, it’s a deal.” His fingers were warm and inviting. I rubbed my thumb across the back of his hand and knuckles, unable to let go.

  Tanner cleared his throat and stared at me quizzically. “Did you get your dress yet?”

  I pulled my hand away. I had to control myself. “Yes, I found it today. It’s blue with a little bit of white.”

  “Sounds great. I can’t wait to see it.”

  He had that calm Tanner expression on his face. It gave nothing away until I noticed his eyes. They said everything. There was a sadness there, almost a regret, that I didn’t understand. He was probably wishing he were taking Tiffany instead. “It’s going to be a fun night,” I said trying to cheer him up. “I can’t believe the dance is only three weeks away. By the way, how are the mystery decorations coming
along?”

  “Our committee is right on schedule.” He smiled. “I shouldn’t complain about your surprise since I’m keeping the decorations a secret. I sort of understand what you mean about wanting to surprise me. I can’t wait to see your face when you see the gym decorated.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.” For a few hours he would be with me.

  “What are you thinking?”

  Grinning, I glanced up at him. He probably thought I was strange but I couldn’t stop thinking of the dance and what it would be like to have his arms around my waist. At the Get Acquainted Dance we hadn’t danced slow. He never had his arms around me. The Frolic would be the first time. “What the dance will be like.”

  “Then keep thinking about it. You look happy.”

  “I will.” As long as I was with him it would be the best night of my life.

  Chapter Eight

  “Ashlee,” Sarah ran towards me. Crushed golden leaves scattered on the black asphalt. “Wait a minute.”

  I slowed my pace, kicking a stone toward my car. “What are you doing out here? I thought you had to get the gym decorated.”

  She stopped and caught her breath. “The guys are bringing the tables, and boxes of decorations into the gym. I have about ten minutes, but I wanted to talk to you. Where are you going?”

  “I have to meet with the band about some last minute details. They added a girl, Nadine, to their group. They want her to do a few of Magenta’s hits at the dance, but I want to hear her first. She’s supposed to have an awesome voice.”

  She got into step beside me. “I hope she’s good. We’ve never had a female singer at one of our dances. Everyone’s going to love it.”

  “I hope so. They’re putting a lot of time into this and we can’t pay them much. But they think it’s worth it because they hope to get a lot of bookings after the dance. They’ve got a new name. It’s Checkerboard.”

  “How did they come up with that?”

  “I went shopping with them for some matching shirts and we found some old ties that are lime green and black checks. They decided to make that their trademark and change their name.”