Alphas on Top

by Harper Sloan

  I pop a pill and chase it with a swig of vodka. The warm burn slides slowly down my throat and instantly distracts me. I take a few more sips of the vodka, enjoying the burning sensation. God, my heart fucking hurts. Dammit, this pill isn’t working fast enough! One more pill should be fine. I toss it back and chase it with another long pull of the vodka.

  Numbness is finally starting to trickle over my body. Yes, this feels good. Those pills work. One more ought to do the trick. My vision blurs as I try to pull another pill from the bottle. Too difficult this way. I tilt my head back and let some of the pills spill into my mouth. It’s like candy! I crunch down but instantly gag on the bitterness and swallow down more vodka to chase away the taste.

  I can’t feel my tongue or nose or feet. Well hell, there’s only couple pills left. Might as well finish off the bottle. I tilt my head back once more and allow the rest to fall into my mouth, this time opting not to chew them.

  My body starts to shiver and I realize I’m freezing. I’m freezing yet I’m sweating all over. I’m so confused. The room is spinning wildly. I think I might be sick. Lying down, I fumble for my phone on the nightstand. Better tell Pepper to refill my prescription since I took them all. Wait, shit. That’s bad. Isn’t it?

  Me: Pepakse, oops pils al gon

  After hitting send on the text, I call Brayden. I feel darkness creeping in around me and I fear I’ve done something bad with the pills. I just want to hear his voice one more time.

  “Andi, I am so sorry—” he begins when he answers but I cut him off.

  “Braaaay, I messssed up baaad,” I slur. “Pills go buh bye.”

  I must have blacked out because I come to just as Bray bursts into my bedroom door.

  “Oh my God, baby! What have you done?! No, no, no!” he cries out, pulling me into his arms. “Fuck! You’re blue and so cold!” He tilts back my head and shoves his fingers down my throat. Immediately I start vomiting all over his white t-shirt and my bare breasts. Blackness eats away at the corners of my vision again and my world spins out of control.

  His fingers are back in my throat again, forcing my gut to wrench once more. The ringing of my cell phone is endless. Brayden is crying hysterically, telling me to “hold on!” but I just feel ready to let go. And I do just that as the darkness sweeps over me once again.

  Grabbing my purse, I bolted from the cab, telling him to keep the change. It was five after eight and I still had to get to the 57th floor. Jackson and I shouldn’t have had that quickie, but it was so worth it. I just prayed that nobody would notice I was late.

  Pressing the button to the 57th floor once inside the elevator, I took a moment to breathe and collect myself. I was finally a woman with a job in her field of study. The world of architecture was so fascinating to me and I really missed it. The café didn’t hold a candle to the satisfaction I would have doing what I love.

  When the door opened, I quickly glanced at my reflection in the mirror. Deciding that I looked presentable, I held my head high and walked up to the front desk. The receptionist looked about ten years older than me and had a nametag that read “Margie” on it.

  “Hi there, Margie. I’m Andi, er, Miranda Dalton, here for my first day,” I informed her, still breathing a little heavily from this morning’s events.

  She looked up and smiled. “You’re late,” she admonished, winking. My own smile faltered as panic set in. “Honey, I’m teasing. Mr. Compton was on a call this morning, so he’s not even ready for you yet anyway. You looked like you were about to throw up,” she giggled.

  Realizing she was a fun person, I smiled back at her. “Sorry, it was a hectic morning with traffic and all. I’ll have to make sure to allow myself more time in the mornings,” I told her honestly.

  “No worries, Miss Dalton. Everyone is really laid back here for the most part, especially Jordan. You’ll enjoy working for him. It’s his brother that’s difficult. Be thankful you don’t have to work for him,” she whispered.

  Before she could divulge any more office gossip, Mr. Compton called me from his office. Smiling at Margie, I quickly walked into the office where the voice had come from. Mr. Compton was a nice-looking young man. Even though he was several years older than I was from what I could tell, he still looked too young to own such a successful company.

  Looking up from his desk, he smiled at me. He had one of those familiar faces and I couldn’t help but return his smile. “Please, Miss Dalton, have a seat,” he greeted, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk.

  Taking my seat, I sat up straight, waiting for my instructions.

  “Today will be just you getting to know the ropes and other employees. I’d hoped my brother, who’s my partner, would be sitting in on the meeting, but he’s running late. I know originally I said you would be assisting me but I’ll actually need you to help us both out. I’m in the middle of a pretty big company issue that will require a lot of my time with my lawyers. That will leave my brother having to run things. We’ll need you to take our calls when you can, set up meetings with our clients, and make appearances at some events. We have people to actually handle busy work, but as our assistant, you’ll learn how to actually interact with the clients more so than the work itself. It’s probably one of the most critical aspects of our job that they certainly don’t teach you in school.” He paused to wait for any input that I might have.

  “Okay. That sounds like something I can handle, Mr. Compton,” I assured him confidently even though I was nervous from Margie’s warning about his brother.

  “Please, Miss Dalton, call me Jordan. We’re informal here. My dad was Mr. Compton. You’ll make me feel old if you keep calling me that,” he winked at me. “Anyway, we set up a desk between our two offices out front. I’ll have Margie show you how to work your phone. We already gave you access to both my and my brother’s calendars and emails so that you can help us manage our appointments. In an hour, I’ll be out for a meeting but I’m sure you’ll figure things out easily enough. Oh, and tomorrow, a junior architect will be joining the firm. Since I’ve been pulled into more of the handling of the company, we’ve needed some more help in that area. He won’t have much activity in the beginning so I want you to assist him as well. Once he gets a lot busier, we’ll get him his own assistant. And remember, you do this job well, there could be a junior architect position waiting for you as well. We like to promote from within whenever possible. That’s what happened to my last assistant.” He stopped talking and looked behind me.

  “Miranda Dalton, please meet my brother and co-owner of the firm, Jackson Compton,” he introduced, gesturing to the door. My body tensed up at the name and I whipped around to see the face of my weekend Jackson. Shit!

  When his eyes met mine, we both mirrored shocked looks. He walked over to my chair and extended his hand. His shocked look fell and was replaced by a glare. I shakily took his hand and shook it, squirming under his fierce look. “Please, call me Andi,” I said breathlessly. I was in some serious trouble.

  “Excuse me, I have work to do,” he scowled, turning on his heel and stalking out.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you,” Jordan apologized. Turning back to him, I frowned. “He’s a bit of an ass. He’ll be your biggest challenge working here. He’s my brother and I love him, but he can be a bear.” He shook his head. I just nodded my own nervously. This seriously sucked. Pepper was going to freak when I told her my luck.

  Jordan stood so I did as well. He came around the desk and placed his hand on the small of my back, guiding me out to my desk. With his hand still on my back, I glanced up at Jackson’s office. He was glaring at me from his desk, momentarily glancing at Jordan’s hand on my back. Quickly standing from his desk, he stalked over to his door and slammed it shut. My first day and I was already wanting to quit. What have I done?

  A dark two weeks…

  My life is flashing by in pictures like slides on my phone. A picture of me and Brayden kissing at a game. Pepper and me getting a pedicure for
my birthday. Me smiling as a kid with a frowning family in the background. A skinny me accepting my diploma. Brayden down on one knee in Central Park. Me and Jeanie at the café. Me, Connie, and Brayden at Christmas one year.

  Am I in a car? I can feel bouncing, which is adding to my nausea. Blinking my eyes open briefly, I can see that I’m in an ambulance. An EMT is fussing over me. What grabs my attention is Bray hovering over me, tears running down his face. His two hands have one of mine and he is kissing it over and over. He keeps begging me to “hold on.” Hold on to what?

  His shirt is covered in vomit. Is he sick? I try to squeeze his hand to comfort him. When I do, just barely, his red eyes dart to mine. Taking one hand away to stroke my hair, he brings his face close to mine.

  “Please, Andi. Don’t die on me. I love you. I need you. The way I’ve hurt you sickens me. You have to believe me that I promise I’ll never do it again. Please, just stay alive for me,” he cries. I’m so confused. Why would I die?

  The darkness creeps up again and I try to fight it because I just want to be here with Bray telling me how much he loves me. My eyes tear up as it closes up on my vision. Please, no! Bray, help me! His panicking eyes are the last thing I see before completely succumbing again to the dark.

  The next hour went without incident as Margie showed me how to use the phone and helped me log into my computer so I could access my email and the guys’ calendars. Jackson still hadn’t surfaced from his office and Jordan had already left for his meeting. After Margie left me to go back to her reception area, I finally had a moment to myself.

  I typed up an email to Pepper’s work email address.

  Pepper,

  This is my work email address. Things are not what I expected at the firm. It would appear that Jackson is one of my bosses. How do I get the luck of these things? Worse thing is, he is acting like he hates me. We seriously went thirty minutes without seeing each other. When I left him, he looked sad, almost like he wanted to chase after me. Then, when he arrived at work today, he looked like he wanted to kill me with the daggers he was shooting at me with his eyes. I don’t know what I am going to do. This is all so incredibly awkward.

  Your friend who makes bad decisions,

  Andi

  My stomach was really growling now. It was almost lunchtime, but I wasn’t sure what time I should leave to grab some food. The idea of having to ask Jackson made me sick. The ping indicating a new email alerted me to my computer screen.

  To the girl who makes the absolute worst decisions,

  What the hell?! How in the world does this happen? You need to go in there and lay down the law, Andi. I am so pissed right now. If I see that asshole, I’ll personally tell him what I think. Just make it through today and we’ll grab dinner afterwards. We can meet at the café at 6. Hang in there, hon.

  The girl who told you so,

  Pepper

  I responded with my confirmation to dinner and quickly looked up when Jackson’s door swung open. Before I could ask him about lunch, he stalked past me and out the front door. So he couldn’t even talk to me now. What an asshole!

  Ignoring my stomach, I answered some calls and input the appointments on Jordan’s and Jackson’s calendars. I could smell microwaved meals being heated up by the other employees in the breakroom. My stomach growled again. I was screwed because I hadn’t seen any vending machines earlier when I’d taken the tour with Margie.

  The front door opened back up about twenty minutes later and Jackson came back in. Not looking at me, he stalked past me with a sack of food back into his office, slamming the door behind him. Feeling a little sorry for myself, I felt a tear slip down my cheek. Realizing I was going to have to talk to him, I shakily stood up and walked over to his door.

  When I knocked, he gruffly shouted, “Come in!”

  I tried to calm myself as I walked to his desk. He still wouldn’t look at me. “Um, Jackson? I was wondering what time I could leave for lunch,” I meekly spoke.

  My stomach growled loudly and his eyes met mine. They were full of heat and anger but he still didn’t say anything. I could feel another stupid tear fall. His gaze softened but his tone was still harsh. “Sit,” he commanded.

  I sat down, trying to keep my shaking to a minimum. By this point, I was starving, and now I was in a battle of wills with Jackson. This day really sucked.

  Pulling out two to-go containers from his sack, he sat one in front of me. I looked down at it, confused. “Eat,” he ordered. My eyes darting back to his, I frowned. He was opening his own container, avoiding my gaze. I started to stand, grabbing the box so I could eat in the lunchroom but his voice growled at me, stopping me in my tracks. “I said eat. Here,” he barked, glaring at me.

  Margie wasn’t kidding. He was such an asshole! How had I not seen this over the weekend? This couldn’t be the same guy who had tenderly stroked my hair while we watched a movie. It couldn’t be the same guy who had laughed like a little boy when I tickled him. This man was cold. I didn’t like him at all.

  Sitting back in my chair, I opened the box. It was sushi. I couldn’t help the grin that broke over my face. He remembered that I love sushi. Scooping up a roll with my chopsticks, I dipped it in my soy sauce and greedily dropped it into my mouth.

  Considering I was so hungry and I was eating my favorite food, I moaned in pleasure at the delicious taste of the roll. His eyes flew to mine but dropped to my mouth as I licked my lips. When they made their way back up to mine they were full of need. These were the eyes I was used to seeing.

  He cleared his throat and turned his attention back to his food, trying to avoid looking at me again. At least I knew he was having trouble keeping up his asshole premise.

  I quickly devoured all of my rolls and stood to go back to my desk. “Come here,” he whispered, sounding like he choked on his words a little.

  My eyes met his, and I couldn’t help wanting to have a repeat performance from this morning. Asshole or not, he was fantastic in bed. Gesturing for me to come closer, I nervously walked around to where he was sitting.

  “Come here,” he quietly ordered again. He took my hand, pulling me a little closer. I closed my eyes as I leaned forward, wanting to kiss him so badly. He chuckled and stuck something in my hand. I blinked open my eyes, looking at what he had given me. A fucking fortune cookie. He let go of my hand and swiveled in his chair away from me. Grabbing the phone, he started dialing and waved me away. Fucking waved me away.

  Completely pissed, I stalked out of his office and tried to refrain from slamming the door. Once I got back at my desk, tears stung my eyes again, but this time they were angry. I opened my cookie and read my fortune.

  “Everything will be okay. Don’t obsess. Time will prove you right. You must stay where you are.”

  Damn you, wise fortune cookie. Damn you.

  A dark two weeks…

  My eyes flutter open and I take in my surroundings. I’m in a hospital room. I can feel a tube down my throat and an IV attached to my arm. My head is in such a fog. What happened? I can see people seated in my room, but I’m having trouble focusing on them. Tears begin falling down my cheeks as I start crying, further blurring my vision.

  I can hear shuffling of feet and whispers before a small hand grasps one of mine. “Shhh, Andi. Everything’s okay. They were able to pump your stomach but a lot of the medicine and alcohol is still in your system. The IV is trying to flush it out for you. You scared us when you stopped breathing, so they are keeping you safe with the breathing tube. Don’t try to talk. Just know that we’re all here with you,” Pepper gently comforts me.

  I hear her barely whisper, “You need to leave, motherfucker.”

  And in an angry whisper that matches her, I hear Bray growl, “Fuck no.” His hand envelops my other one. My tears are really falling now and I am sobbing uncontrollably.

  “I’ll get the nurse,” I hear my mother say coldly. My mother? If she is here, this is really bad.

  Seconds later, a nurse shuffle
s in. Bray and Pepper are still stroking my hands and whispering soft, gentle things to me.

  “When will the psychiatrist be here?” my mother questions the nurse. The nurse informs her that he is making his rounds and that it will be soon. She also tells her that in the meantime she will give me something to relax. I can feel a cold sensation seeping into my vein and trickling up my arm. Trying to fight the pull it is having on me, I squeeze Pepper’s and Bray’s hands once before the medication wins and fully drags me under.

  The afternoon went by quickly because the phone rang off the hook. I handled the clients with ease and was able to force the confusing thoughts about Jackson from my mind. He stayed in his office the entire time. Jordan had come back a while ago and stormed into his office. His meeting must not have gone well because he had been visibly upset about it.

  When the work day was almost over, Jordan emerged from his office, looking very tired and stressed. He walked over to my desk and sat on the edge. “How was your first day, Andi?” he asked. He was smiling at me but it didn’t reach his eyes.

  “Um, it was great. I think I handled things well. The question is, how was your day?” I wondered genuinely.

  Reaching his hand up, he rubbed the stubble along his jawline. “I’ve had better. How did Jackson treat you? Did he act like an ass?” he questioned, looking into my eyes.

  His genuine interest coupled with the horrible way things had evolved today had tears forming in my eyes. I tried to blink them away so my boss wouldn’t see how I was letting Jackson affect me.

  Anger swept across his face as he gently wiped a tear that had managed to escape down my cheek. Jackson’s door opened beside me but I ignored it since he was going to do the same to me anyway. Hopping off the desk, Jordan softly ordered, “Come here.” He grabbed my hands and pulled me in for a hug. It appeared that we both needed a hug after our shitty day.