Jagged Edge

by Mercy Cortez

  "Really? I am trying, least you could be is considerate" he howled, he was trying? for what?

  "You left me, you don't own me.You lost the right to ask anything of me when you left" I walked over to the buttons and went to push the emergency button back but he got there first and pushed me back a little.

  "l'm not finished, I am protecting you Melissa, just fucking let me!”

  "Just fire me already" He looked at me, his eyes softer

  "Mel , I don't want to hurt you. But I can't stop myself. His lips on you, drove me crazy. I shouldn't have left. I know but I just don't want to break you. You are so fragile" he whispered the last four words.

  "Isn't it my right to decide? Please. I don't know why but I feel like this is right" I felt so uncertain, I hoped it didn't show in my voice.

  He grabbed my arms and pushed them above my head

  "You need to know what you are asking for" he pushed his moist tongue inside my mouth. He pushed on my arms hard and I gasped. He kissed so deeply, stroking my tongue with his, I really wanted to run my fingers through his hair but his hands held me too tight. I felt the bruises being pushed into my arm and he bit my lip hard. He pushed away from me, his erection obvious.

  "Tonight. I collar you tonight" he pushed the emergency button and as the elevator reached our floor he got out leaving me panting and tingling in the elevator.

  I walked into the office and tried my hardest to work, I made some appointments and updated the pivot table that contained all of the labels artists. I interviewed a new artist, she seemed nice. I was determined to not think about him, or tonight. I needed to block it out.

  Sophia Bexter was stunning, straight black hair, with light brown wide eyes, her lips painted red as were her long manacured nails. She had sent a demo the old fashioned way, a cassette in an envelope. The cassette only had her name and phone number on it. Since it was sent to Jared I had the pleasure of discovering it. I emailed Jared and told him I had received the cassette and he responded tell me to throw it out as she was unprofessional, I hadn't listened and I sourced a cassette player and heard her voice hum through, it was that of soul and slight hint of Jazz. She sounded like Rebecca Ferguson, but without the scouse accent. I had converted it to MP3 and decided off my own back to meet with her and discuss it with Jared later. I met her in my lunch break ensuring not to get into any more trouble. I listened to the woman talk, how she came from a small village and wanted to make it work and moved here to London. I explained she would need to change her name due to Sophie Ellis Bexter and her getting confused and she agreed. I helped her with a stage name after we discussed her passions and likes, Red seemed to fit, she said she always had red lip stick and nails apparently. I told her I would re submit her work as an MP3 under the name Red to Jared and she thanked and hugged me. I really did hope it worked out for her and I gave her my number in case she needed anything.

  I got back to my desk after my lunch and found a handwritten note from Jared.

  Ms Payne.

  My office. 5pm.

  Jared Edge

  Formal. Very formal, I felt my stomach churn and I tried to ignore it. I sent Reds songs to Jared. I was waiting for 5pm and it was half 4, I drummed my fingers on the desk while I checked my emails. My work phone rang.

  "Hi Mel. It's Alistair" the soft voice came through, I was still pretty mad at him for kissing me before.

  "Alistair, why are you calling me? What the hell was that in the elevator?" I demanded, he chuckled down the phone making me nervous

  "Sweetheart it was what you wanted. He wanted you after that didn't he? He looked at you all angry with lust again" I bit my lip unsure how to respond he carried on

  "He doesn't deserve you, by the way. I see woman hanging off him,here one day, gone the next. He is bad news. You should research him a little more before you sleep with him" he said concerned but I felt a hidden agenda. I hated that I had already slept with him and that all I wanted was to do it again. Alistair didn't know Jared, not like I did.

  "Ali, he won't hurt me. I'm a strong girl I know what I'm doing." He laughed again "Sweetheart, he will hurt you. I'm counting on it. When he does you can come and cry on my shoulder and not his. If he lays a finger on you... it doesn't matter. You will see when you research. I gotta go. Take care"

  He hung up before I could respond. It was ten to five and I tapped Jared Edge into Google. I then changed my search to Jared Edge Relationships.

  Article after article. He had so many different women on his arm. No real type, except all blue eyes. Which surprised me, my eyes were green. A deep green. I looked through and one woman appeared more than any other. Catlin Walker. She was known as a risky woman. I Googled her on a separate tab.

  Caitlin Walker. 27. English. She was born and raised in London. Married once. No children. Arrested for DUI and for GBH. Both she was cleared on. She had a history of drugs. Who was she?

  I scrolled down. His name. Jared Edge. He was a main investor in the Rehab she attended.

  Relationships. Jared Edge. Ongoing.

  My heart hurt a little. Ongoing? What did that mean? I saw as it was five past five. Shit. My phone rang.

  "Mel. Office. Now" and he hung up I got up and collected my things and went into his office.My eyes went to the sofa, the one he had taken me on. My nipples tightened and hardened. Then I looked back at him sitting at his desk and remembered he had fucked that blond woman there. I walked over to him. He got up and walked to me. I was half scared. His eyes were vacant and then he held me. Held me tight to his chest.

  "You need to change"he said coarsely I was so confused; he was holding me like he cared about me and talking to me like I was dirt on his shoe. I couldn’t help but think; change how? What was wrong with me?

  "I'm taking you to dinner"

  "I thought-you said you were going to, collar me"

  "I know what I said" he grunted "change of plan"

  He moved to a wardrobe he kept locked in his office, he pulled out a white sheer dress. It looked angelic and soft.

  "You want me to wear that?" I said softly

  "Somehow I doubt it would do me justice. Come on. I want to watch you change" His voice was so strong. I felt stupid as I slowly tore my garments off. I stood my pale body with only my white lace underwear on it. I watched him as he perched on his desk, watching my movements.

  "Come here" he ordered, I did without hesitation. He pushed his hands from my neck, over my chest, feeling my hips and the he pushed his finger inside my lace panties. He ran his finger over my labia and he grinned as he touched my clit. I got wet on his hand. He pulled his finger away and slipped it through his lips, my juices inside his mouth. He pulled me in and pushed his mouth on mine, licking my tongue and making me taste myself. He went to my neck and lightly bit my skin. He pushed me away

  "Now change" his voice broke a little as he ended. I wondered what he was thinking. I needed to ask about Caitlin. I had gone head first into whatever this was and I knew nothing. Nothing really. Since our talk before he was closed off again. I hated it. This was all too fast.

  "Jared. Who is Caitlin Walker?" I almost whispered. When did I become too scared to speak? He stared at me, his mouth in a tight line but his eyes looked lost.

  "She isn't any concern of yours" he raged, I felt horrible. I wanted to please him. For unknown reasons I did. But I wanted my Jared. The one who spoke to me about his past. Who programmed his name as 'your Jared' in my phone.

  "I'm trying Jared. I'm not going to be a woman who says nothing. I won't be scared of you. If you want that then maybe you were right I should leave. Leave you to Caitlin" I kept my voice strong and steady

  "Mel. I know who called you today. Planned on mentioning it?" he said so surely but regret hit him straight after.

  "What? You listened to my calls?" I was so angry beyond belief. I didn't care anymore. I quickly threw the dress on not wanting to argue half naked and vulnerable.

  "Yes. You are my employee. I can do what I like
" he stated sharply

  "That's immoral and it should have been known to me. I'm not even sure it is legal. And yes Ali called me, warned me about you. Rightly so it seems" l felt as my heart raced and I wanted to run out right now.

  "He wants you and you didn't stop it. I want to have you to myself. Why can't you understand that? Mel. You. Are. Mine!" he was shouting now. He was wrapped in rage and It spewed out of him and made me scared beyond belief. But him saying I was his, I felt wetness between my thighs and I felt ashamed of it. But not as ashamed as I felt when I answered back.

  "I am not yours. I will never be yours. You are incredible, absolutely incredible. To think you can hire me, explain that you want to fuck me and then treat like nothing. I don’t understand, you have known me all of five minutes! We open up; well I did, and I made myself available to you. Who are you Jared? The man who wants to fuck me and own me, or the man who held me when I had a nightmare?"

  He stared in wonder for a moment. He looked at me, the anger gone.

  "I'm bad for you. I told you I will break you and I will. I wish I knew how not to. I can't. I'm sorry. You have to take me like this. The collar is a formality. I warn myself away. Melissa. You are perfect. Beautiful, smart and you have such an independent streak, a rebellious one that makes me want to have you at my knees submitting to desire, submitting to me. I can't offer you more than that. You know that. Do you understand? Do you still want this?" I stared into his eyes. I didn't want this. Not for a second. But I wanted him and this was the only way I could have him.

  "Don't we have somewhere to go? I believe dinner?" He took my hand and kissed my cheek. We got to his car and drove.

  Chapter Eight

  He flicked the CD in and I was surprised by the choice of music, Lana Del Rey filled the car singing Ride, I liked this song, I even had this album but I didn’t expect him to listen to this sort of music, the lyrics seeped inside me, my favourite part of this song though was her monologue.

  ‘I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet, but upon an unfortunate series of events some of those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken, but I didn’t really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted, and then losing it to know what true freedom is.’

  The car remained silent the drive there except the beautiful music filtering through, as we drove up to the restaurant Jared got out of the car and opened my car door and walked me through the entrance of The Square, he spoke to the hostess who smiled sweetly and obviously had seen him here on a few occasions as she gave him his “usual table”.

  The restaurant was rather small, it was fancy with a million pieces of cutlery on the table, I grew up eating with a knife and fork, I had a while collection, I knew we were primarily from different worlds, of course he had a lot of money and it seems rather ridiculous but it hadn’t completely owned me until right now, staring down at the table and knowing in a few minutes I would embarrass myself.

  The waiter was coming over and looking at the menu I had no idea what to order, I made a getaway to the ladies room and asked Jared to order for me, I stood by the sink looking at my reflection in the mirror, I ran some water and splashed it over my hands and a little over my face, when a older woman walked in and saw me.

  “Oh I’m sorry dear, I’ll leave, just coming to clean the place up” she said cheerfully

  “That’s fine, please carry on” I smiled weakly at her and she came and stood next to me by the sink looking at my reflection and back at hers.

  “Forgive me for over stepping Miss but I saw you walk in, you’re stunning, wearing a Narciso Rodriguez sheer panelled dress and a brilliantly handsome young man by your side and youre in here fit to cry, what could possibly be wrong, my dear?” She was so sweet, like a mother and caring, I turned to her and she pulled my hair to the front of my body.

  “I appreciate your kindness, it’s just…I have never been to a restaurant like this, … I feel I may ruin your illusion of me but I don’t even know which fork to use out there and the man with me…it’s just a little intense, I'm not even sure why I’m telling you” I stopped myself and the woman looked at me with what seemed a hint of pride.

  “Sweetheart, you're fine, the general rule with cutlery, start from the outside in. Now get yourself back to your man before Hazel steals him” I chucked a little and gave the woman a small hug as she watched me then leave and go back to Jared.

  As I got back my meal was waiting for me, Jared informed me he had skipped the starter for the main and had ordered me Roast Fillet of Turbot with Sprouting Broccoli, Smoked Anchovy and Red Wine, I just nodded completely be founded by the words he had just said. It looked just like fish and so I would assume that was what it was, it tasted extraordinary and the woman I saw in the ladies room watched as I chose the correct cutlery and smiled.

  “That dress is stunning on you by the way” I blushed and he smiled. I remembered what the woman had told me about the dress and decided to pretend I knew something about fashion.

  “A Narciso Rodriguez sheer panelled dress, I believe?” I smiled with what I hoped was confidence on my face.

  “Indeed, if you know fashion I assume you also know it costs over a thousand pounds so try not to get too much on it, it is white though, could be a challenge” he grinned triumphantly as he watched my mouth drop, I was never going to get used to the money side but I guess I couldn’t complain, girls would kill to be right now.

  “You really didn’t have to, I mean it’s beautiful and I'm flattered but you don’t have to” I overly explained trying not to sound unappreciative.

  “I want to, plus you only own clothes I’ve bought for you and I like that”

  “What did happen to my clothes?” I really was curious. He smiled and touched my hand that was resting on the table

  “They are at my apartment in a wardrobe, in a room with lots of other clothes that were bought for you, said room is attached to mine” he rubbed his thumb up and down my finger and I felt goose bumps, but from what I could gather, he wanted me to go back to his and I'm thinking it wasn’t to see this impressive walk in closet he had.

  We finished our main and my dessert of

  “Brillat-Savarin Cheesecake with Passion fruit Glaze

  and Yoghurt Ice Cream, madam” as the waiter told me, I came to realise that all this was fancy speak for ordinary dishes, basically fish main and a cheesecake and ice cream desert.

  We still hadn’t discussed everything and I know he wanted me home with him but I couldn’t do that, not yet, we finished our meal and he got the bill, he walked me to his car and I stopped.

  “Jared I will get a taxi home and see you in the office tomorrow” he looked at me with a furrowed brow and then anger.

  “Fine Ms. Payne, whatever you want, just forget about everyone else and do whatever makes you happy, I am trying so damn hard and all you do is treat me like I'm nothing to you, unimportant, how much more do you want me to do? Ugh, never mind...” he opened his car door and got in, his window rolled down “…Goodnight, Melissa. Keep the dress” and he was gone, speeding off, angry and frustrated.

  The next few weeks passed by in a blur, he barely looked at me and only spoke to me through emails and nothing else; I guess he got what he was after. I had to get a taxi to and from work every day.

  I managed to eventually get a cab and get home after a long day, my landline phone bleeped at the display of a new message. I pressed play

  “A message was left today at seven fifty six p.m from telephone number 0-7-5-9-8-7-6-4-6-3. Hey Lissa it’s Carl, I am in London tomorrow for a big interview, I spoke to your mum and she told me where you work, small world, that’s where my interview is! I wondered if we could meet up and you could show me around a little, all the best”

  I smiled widely just hearing Carls voice, I missed him so much, we were great friends but when I got my internship I lost quite a few because I was always work
ing, he had always called me Lissa, people always say being friends with a guy never works, but we would always prove them wrong, I wondered what he was interviewing for and so I sent him a quick text saying he could crash here and I would love to see him.

  The next morning I got up with no lift from Eric, I guess I really had pissed him off last night, I was about to leave when my phone rang.

  “Lissa! I am downstairs, I couldn’t work your damn buzz thing, I think its busted, anyway there is a note down here with your name on it when you're ready, I want to see the building, they won’t mind will they?” he was so excitable, and I was worried about this letter for me, I must have missed the buzz because its broken, damn it!

  “I will be right there, C.J” I shut my phone up and slammed the door. I got down the million steps and rushed into a big bear hug from C.J, he held me close.

  “Hey sweetie; seems life is treating you well! Nice clothes, and this place looks pretty grand, good work. You smell insane, like lightning somehow, what is that?”

  “Oh, its called Jar, I have no idea really, shall we go?” I tried to skip the questions, I knew everything I had was expensive and I didn’t knoiw how much Carl knew about expensive things, luvkily it appeared he knew very little. I got a cab and we climbed in.

  “So I have something to tell you, don’t get all mad at me, okay Lissa?” he winced slightly

  “Okay, what?” I said with concern

  “My interview today, well - it’s for your job” he mumbled the last two words and I felt my heart shatter. So this was it, he was firing me today and he chose Carl probably because he knew I knew him, son of a bitch. If he wanted it like this that was up to him but I wasn’t crawling back, he can take his job, his money, all of it. I tried to keep the sadness from my face but Carl knew me too well.

  “I'm sorry baby girl, I just couldn’t pass it up, I know it makes me look like a douche but – I care about you so much, please don’t be sad” he held me close in the car and swiftly gave me the envelope he had been holding that had my name on it, I moved away slightly and ripped open the envelope.