Don't Blame Me

by Kay Blake

  I finished my speech and there was once again loud clapping and cheering. I was already ready to go, wanting to get out of this suit and tie and back up under Leah. However, I still had rounds I had to make around the room.

  As I stepped off the podium, I shook hands and posed for pictures. But I couldn’t focus once I saw my mother standing there with Leah. My father was over there too, and whatever they were saying pissed her off. I could see it in her face.

  Excusing myself, I made my way towards them. I could see that Leah was tense and she trembled slightly but said nothing.

  “Leah…baby are you okay?”

  Leah looked at me and then back at my parents.

  “No. I’m not,” she said quietly.

  “What happened?”

  “I was just reminding her of her place. That’s all,” my father interjected.

  “And what does that mean?” I said.

  “She knows what I mean. She knew what I meant before too.”

  Leah’s mouth opened and closed. I knew her temper, and I didn’t want this to escalate, especially not in here. I expected Leah to say something, but oddly she didn’t. Instead, she shook her head and walked away.

  “Dad, what did you say to her?”

  “I told her the truth. I always tell the truth. .”

  “Somehow I doubt it all went down the way you said it did.”

  “I told you earlier today, you shouldn’t have brought her to the hotel opening. You have an image to uphold.”

  “And I told you that what I do doesn’t concern you. Nobody cares who I date.”

  “This conversation doesn’t need to happen here. Why must the two of you always be like this?” my mother asked from behind, confused about what was going on. She knew why we didn’t get along. Sometimes I was sure she instigated things between the two of us. Besides, when it concerned things they felt were for my well-being, they usually were in cahoots with one another.

  “Tamina, leave this to me and Adrian,” my dad had said in an effort of putting his foot down.

  “You two may cause a scene. You will not do this here,” she said, her voice growled lowly.

  “You don’t know what I need or want. I can’t believe you’re doing this here,” I said.

  “Both of you stop it,” my mother said, looking between the two of us. I had to remember where I was because I almost snapped.

  “I’m proud of you. Proud that you and your father are getting along enough to work together, and even better you two are doing it in one of the greatest cities in the world.”

  She tried to change the subject. She was good at that when she wanted to get her way.

  “Mom. Thanks. I’m glad you’re here. But I can’t have the two of you making problems for Leah. I’ll call you later.”

  I hugged my mother quickly and left my father, walking out of the ballroom. I had to find Leah. As I knew she was going to let me have it. But even if she was angry, and took it out on me, I had to make sure she was okay.

  “Hey,” I sat down next to her.

  “Hey,” she replied.

  “What happened between you and my parents?”

  “The usual. They didn’t want me here. Your mother was more subtle about it this time, but they still don’t think I’m good enough to be around you. I don’t know why either. It’s not like I’m some women from the wrong side of the tracks or I want your money. I have my own career as well. They hate me for no reason,” she said frowning.

  “They don’t hate you.”

  “Are you really going to sit there and defend them after everything that just happened back there? Your father told me I needed to stay in my place right in front of you.”

  “I’m not defending them. I want to know what happened. I don’t want you upset. That’s all”

  “Well, I am!” she said, her voice raised. Realizing that she sighed.

  “I need to get out of here. I need to go home.”

  “Can we at least talk about it?”

  “What for? So you can make an excuse for him? For both of them? You know, like you always do. Your mother didn’t seem as bad as she did when I first met her, but she still has her feelings about me. I understand that they’re your parents, but I’ve done nothing to them. The only thing I ever did was love their son.”

  “Baby, I know…”

  “Don’t do that! Don’t pacify me.”

  “I’m not. I don’t want to fight with you. I’m on your side,” I said, loosening my tie. I was grateful we were alone. If any press got any info that I was having an argument with Leah, they would eat it up and not focus on the hotel.

  “I just don’t want to have to constantly deal with them and their crap. I don’t know any woman who would want to.”

  “I get it. I know my father can be a piece of work, but he’s mostly all talk.”

  I watched several emotions pass over Leah’s face. There was anger and then hurt.

  “You know what? Fuck it! I don’t know why I thought it’ll be any different with you. I’m leaving. You can either stay here or go with me, but I will not stay here and I will not act like I am okay when I’m not,” she said wiping tears from her face.

  And with that, she turned and walked away. I knew I would hear some shit from my father about leaving without doing all the things I needed to do, but Ryan was there and I had to make sure Leah was okay. For some reason, it felt like it was already the end of what was supposed to be our second chance of being together. And I couldn’t let that happen. So, I called for the limo and followed her outside. She wasn’t going to get away this time with closing up her emotions and pushing me away. I needed to know what happened. All of it.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Leah

  We made it back to his apartment, and I was angry. Angry at him for not understanding why I was angry. Angry that even after all this time, his father knew how to get under my skin. I had hoped that I wouldn’t have to deal with him, but sure enough, he had to spew his bullshit and because we were at his event, I couldn’t say all the shit I wanted to say.

  For a moment I had forgotten how it was when I was involved with him before. While the relationship with Adrian and I was a bit of a whirlwind, his father always made it known how much he didn’t like me. How much he hated me. Now here I was doing with all the same kind of crap all over again. And I was mad at Adrian though I knew he did nothing wrong here. I just didn’t know exactly what I was supposed to do with what was going on.

  “Leah, what is wrong? You totally shut down on me.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m trying hard not to say all the things that are in my head right now. I didn’t want to deal with this shit right now.”

  “What happened back there?”

  “Your parents!”

  “What else is new? You can’t let them get to you.”

  “Oh, so deal with their crap because they’re your parents right? Got it.”

  “No, baby that is not what I’m saying.”

  “Then what the fuck are you saying then?”

  He paused then, angry. But I didn’t give a damn. I was angry and I wanted him to feel how angry I was.

  “Leah, I won’t let them do this anymore. Never again. You have my word. But I can’t try to fix anything if you shut me out.”

  “You wouldn’t understand because…” and I stopped myself. He wouldn’t know because I had never told him from all those years ago, and I wasn’t going to right now. Yeah, he needed to know now if I wanted this relationship to actually work this time, but there was a big part of me that didn’t think it would go smoothly. He would probably react the way he did when it all went to crap before. And his parents would spin it. They always did. Adrian would fall for it. I couldn’t have that. Maybe he wasn’t that person anymore, but how was I supposed to know that now. I couldn’t help but dwell on the conversation from earlier.

  I watched as Anthony and Tamina walked towards me. Adrian’s mother was dressed regally, a
nd it was hard for anyone not to notice her in the room. Her eyes didn’t seem as cold as they were the last time I saw her. Even though she was slightly older, she still turned heads. Much like her son.

  I turned back to see Anthony standing in front of me. He still looked like the boss of everything. The guy who knew how to get what he wanted if need be. He had so much power and I was still angry about how he was responsible for the demise of my relationship with his son before. He changed my life that day, and I haven’t forgiven him. Even if he denied it.

  “Leah. I admit I’m surprised to see you here. I thought by now Adrian would’ve gotten over whatever spell you had him under,” he said snidely.

  “Spell?”

  “You know I never thought you were good enough for him. He had his whole career ahead of him, and then you came along and distracted him and other unmentionable things.”

  At that moment I knew what he was referring to and it pissed me off.

  “I did no such thing. Your son wants to be with me. It’s his choice. I didn’t force him.”

  “It doesn’t matter. It didn’t last before. It won’t last now. He has a hotel to worry about. Besides that bastard child of yours is gone now anyway.”

  “Maybe I should tell him why that is.”

  “You can, but it won’t mean anything. He won’t believe you. I’m his father. We butt heads, but he’ll believe me. You need to know your place.”

  Those words ate at me. I didn’t want them to because I knew Anthony wasn’t worth it, but it reminded me of that day I was robbed and beaten. And right after that, my relationship with Adrian ended and I went through all that pain alone, and it made me livid.

  “Stop it! Please. I don’t want to talk about it right now. I don’t want to say something to you out of anger that I don’t mean. I think we’ve done that enough to each other before,” I said, nearly sobbing.

  He ran his fingers through his hair, which was no longer in the ponytail he had earlier. And while he stood there debating if he wanted to let it go or not. I wanted to feel numb. I needed to. No thinking of what happened before or tonight. I needed something to take off the edge. Adrian was the perfect drug for that. I didn’t care how it may have made the situation seem. For the moment, that is what I wanted. There was no room for any other negotiations.

  “Kiss me,” I said softly.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Kiss me, Adrian. I don’t want to hear anything. I want to feel your lips on mine.”

  I could see the hesitation on his face. He reached up and then placed his hand back down as if he didn’t know what he wanted to do. He probably thought I was testing him. I wasn’t.

  I went to him, and I ran my fingers through his hair. He was so damn sexy. Even in my anger, I couldn’t deny that. I wasn’t willing to talk right now.

  “Please?” I asked him, my tone desperate.

  As soon as our lips connected, every single emotion I was feeling, had come to life. I was so angry and aroused. And as all the vile memories of his mother came over me, he brought me back with his lips. They were delicious. And while he knew nothing of what had happened and why I was angry, I couldn’t stop my body from responding. As his hands slid along my skin. Our tongues battled it out neither one of us wanting to back down. I knew he was angry that I didn’t respond to him earlier. I was angry that once again I allowed myself to get caught up with him and this constant push and pull. I hated myself for wanting him. It was the same song and dance. I will pull away from him and he would pull me back, and while I know he did indeed act differently than he normally would, I couldn’t help but feel like this was deja vu all over again.

  Adrian picked me up and had me against the wall. His hands grabbing my ass the underwear I was wearing not even standing a chance.

  “Why the hell are you so stubborn? What the fuck happened back there? What was that? I thought you said we would talk about whatever was bothering us?”

  “I don’t want to talk right now. Just fuck me or let me go home,” I said angrily.

  Normally I wouldn’t want him touching me when I was in this kind of a mood. But that kiss and everything that had happened tonight had put me in a different place and I was pissed the fuck off. I needed to release in some way and I wanted Adrian to help me get there.

  “Please, Leah…” he started to say, but I stopped that him by connecting our lips again. I sucked on his lip. He let out a long groan, his dick throbbed against my thigh. Still holding me in his arms, he carried me to the couch, placing me down on it.

  “Take off that dress,” he said, his voice sounded strangled.

  I slid out of my dress, wiggling out of it, and as it landed on the floor, I watched him take his dress shirt off. He got out of his pants and stood there in his briefs and I could see his dick straining against his pants.

  “You want me to fuck you? Open your legs.”

  I did what I was told a part of me liking this and another unsure of what I just unleashed within him. He perched between my thighs and then his fingers played with my breasts, his hands sending shivers down my spine. He tapped my legs for me to place them over his shoulders and I did. He licked and lapped down, causing me to gasp several times. I fell back against the couch, my body already writhing uncontrollably. He found my clit, and his tongue licked and sucked as I dripped into his mouth, my legs shaking long before I started to come. He kept me in place, as he continued, my hips grinding against his mouth wanting much more than he would be able to give me from his mouth. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I came, his lips tugging gently at my swollen nub. I screamed loudly, as he pinned me down, letting me ride out the waves that rolled over me.

  Once I was able to focus my vision on him, I could see his gaze was more primal.

  “Turn around and raise your ass up,” he said.

  Trembling, I turned around and did what he asked. I was apprehensive, as I waited for him to do something. Anything. I knew he was making me wait. It was my punishment for earlier, but I didn’t care. Not right then. Not at the moment. All I wanted was him inside of me.

  “Leah,” he whispered. “Are you on the pill? I want to feel all of you bare, skin to skin.”

  “Yes,” I muttered.

  “Good,” he said. I could feel him get behind me, and I could feel my juices dripping down my leg. My breath was heavy.

  I could feel him, prodding me a little, and then he rammed into me and I gasped. It was so intense and so good. And I screamed, my body feeling every stroke. He had set my whole body on fire, and the feeling encompassed all of me. I wanted to have some control, but he wasn’t going to let me have it. I could feel his hair now touching me, and part of me wished I could have his hair in my hands, as he fucked me.

  “Please baby. I’m right there,” I stammered. And he answered me by thrusting into me again, and he made me go blank. His name came out of my mouth like a chant, low and guttural, as another orgasm ripped through me. The fire that he had lit burnt me as I screamed loudly. I was sure the whole building had heard me. Adrian squeezed my breasts from behind, as he pounded harder into me before he found his release inside of me. He shuddered against me. I leaned over the couch, totally spent and happy that I got out that release because it was so needed.

  He plopped down next to me, putting a pillow on his lap. He gently took me from the side of the couch, and he laid me on his lap, his hand stroking the side of my face. There was still this dangerous look in his eye. I knew he was still pissed off with me.

  “That was, uh…wow. Different, a bit dirty. It seemed familiar, don’t you think?”

  “Yeah. We’ve had sex angry before.”

  “I rather not be angry. I rather you talk to me and then we have mind-blowing sex,” he said his fingers stopping for a moment.

  “I don’t think it would matter. I know how you are about your parents.”

  “How about letting me speak for myself. Don’t assume. I’m not the same college kid I was back then. Back then I
was immature, but I’m all grown up now,” he said.

  I sighed. “Your parents think I’m a bitch who ruined your life. They think you got injured because of me. Your mom made it clear years ago how she felt about me and how she thought I distracted you from your game. You thought that back then too. You all felt I was to blame for the injury when it broke my heart as much as it did yours. He told me to stay in my place. He talked to me like I was beneath him. It pissed me off. It reminded me too much of before. You seemed like you were about to defend his bullshit again,” I said fuming all over again. I was shaking by that point.

  “Baby, I’m not doing no such thing. I just wanted to see what happened? I’m not defending them and I swear I will deal with them. Especially my dad. Okay?” Adrian said. His forehead was lined with worry and something else I couldn’t quite read. I was sorry by this point that I took my anger out on him. It wasn’t for me. It was for his mother. His father. It was for the bad memories I had attached to his family and for the things I had held on too for much too long.

  “Can we just forget about your parents right now? I want to lay next to you and forget about them for now. Can I do that?” I asked him deciding that I still wasn’t ready for having that conversation. I didn’t want to mess up the rest of the night, especially after we sort of made up. It was also supposed to be a happy occasion since this was the night his hotel opened to the public.

  “Of course, Leah. Of course. I don’t mind laying with you,” he replied.

  “I’m sorry that your night didn’t go as planned. I thought it would be best if I wasn’t there so it wouldn’t be a scene with me and your father.”

  “It’s fine. I spoke. I made my rounds. It went fine. Don’t worry or stress about it. You did nothing wrong.”

  I looked into his eyes, which were hazy from exhaustion, and I kissed the side of his cheek.