Alone in Paris: A Standalone Young Adult Romance

by Ashley Earley

  “Just because they’re related to me, doesn’t mean that it goes beyond that.”

  “I know, but you have to go, Taylor. You have to. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? You’re related to them, you can get to know them over time, but you should go.”

  “I don’t know if I want to go home; there are too many memories.”

  He takes my head in his hands, staring deep into my eyes. “You can handle it. I know you can. You’ve been getting better.”

  “Because of you.”

  He smiles. “Happy to be of service, milady.”

  I reach up to touch one of his hands. I need to touch him—to feel that he’s real. I need to be close to him because my heart is gripped with the fear that I’m running out of time to do so. “I’m serious.”

  He nods, letting his hands fall away from my face. My hand falls with his. “So am I, but you’re getting better because you’re strong. You can handle anything, including this. You’ve been through so much already; I know you can do this—this is what you want, and I want it for you. I’m glad I was here to help you. I’m glad I pushed you to be friends with me—but you’re getting better because of you.”

  This time, I’m the one to smile, though I also want to cry. I swallow against the lump in my throat so I can talk. “You wouldn’t shut up; I had no choice but to be your friend. Especially when I realized you probably didn’t have any.”

  One of his eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, so you did me a favor?”

  I pretend to think about it for a moment before answering, “Pretty much, so you owe me.”

  He chuckles, pressing his forehead against mine. He sighs. “I don’t regret it. Even when you leave, I still won’t regret it. I know you’ll be okay.”

  I close my eyes, pushing away the image of getting on a plane, and leaving him and this city. “You sound so sure I’m going to leave.”

  “I won’t let you stay here. No matter how much I want you to, I’m not going to let you stay here.”

  I open my mouth to argue otherwise, but Nathan suggests we head back before I can. I know he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, but I’m not going to let this go quite yet.

  “Why don’t the three of you come sit in one of the back rooms so you can talk?” Kevin suggests when we return. My heart leaps in panic at the thought of being stuck in a room with them, alone.

  “I think that’s a great idea,” Tom agrees, getting to his feet. His wife, Beverly, follows suit. We head back to one of the rooms with Kevin leading the way. The cop closes the door behind us, the sound echoing through the quiet room.

  There are chairs in the room, but I stand, unsure of what to do. I have no clue what to say—where to begin. So, I wait, standing in the center of the room as both my grandparents take a seat, waiting for one of them to start so I don’t have to come up with words to fill the room.

  “We’re sorry,” Beverly finally says. I turn to face them. She doesn’t give me the chance to come up with a response, however. Tears well in her eyes—making my heart jolt in alarm—before spilling down her cheeks. “We searched everywhere for you. We—we couldn’t find you, and now you’re just…here.”

  “No one came for me,” I blurt out. “No one came for me, so I left. I hid. They were talking about putting me in a foster home. I couldn’t stay. I had to go because I didn’t think anyone was coming for me.”

  “We came. You had disappeared the day before we arrived.”

  The words feel like a slap across the face. It stings. My heart is filled with indescribable disappointment. Is that all? I missed them by a few hours? I spent the last year alone because I couldn’t wait a few more hours?

  “I’m sorry,” I tell them. Sorry because they missed me by hours and have had to search for me all this time. Sorry that they hadn’t been able to find me sooner. Sorry that they thought I was gone forever. Sorry that they thought I was never coming back.

  But I’m here now.

  I may be sorry for all of these things, but I don’t regret any of it. If all of these things hadn’t happened, and more, I never would have met Nathan, and if I hadn’t, I know I wouldn’t have made it through any of it. I wouldn’t be here. I would have given up and cut my wrists until I bled out. I would have ended myself and would have succeeded if I hadn’t met Nathan.

  My grandmother stands, opening her arms to draw me in. It feels awkward at first, but I put my arms around her frail shoulders.

  “It’s okay now,” she tells me. “It’s going to be okay.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  One More Night

  “Will you answer truthfully this time when I ask where you’ve been all this time?” my grandfather asks.

  I hesitate, unsure if telling the truth is a good idea. They’ve been looking for me for so long; what if they passed right by me without ever knowing it? What if I passed them without ever realizing it?

  I shake the thoughts away, deciding to go with the truth. “I was, uh, staying in an abandoned apartment complex a few blocks from the Eiffel Tower.”

  “An abandoned building?” Beverly says, shock coloring her tone.

  I shrug. “It was either that or a park bench.”

  I leave it at that—not wanting to give them too much information about where I’ve been living for the past year.

  “How—how have you been?”

  I stare down at my hands, running through all the possible answers I can give. Well, I’ve been in a depressed—unsocial—state since the accident. It got so bad that I tried to commit suicide a little over a week ago, so I’m doing well! How have you been, Grams?

  “Um, I’ve been good.” I try to say the words with some enthusiasm, but they come out bland and meaningless.

  Beverly pats my hand. We’re all lined up in the chairs. My grandfather is quiet as my grandmother talks as if we’ve known each other for a century. “Things will get better. Your parents would want you to move on from this. They wouldn’t want you to dwell and sulk over it.”

  “They also wouldn’t want you to be living in a moldy apartment,” Tom adds.

  Someone knocks on the door before any of us can say anything further. Kevin walks in a second later. “Are we finished here?”

  I feel rushed. The reunion seemed too quick, yet I’m relieved about it at the same time. I don’t know them.

  “Just about.”

  Kevin stands in the doorway, giving no indication that he intends to leave.

  Beverly turns back to me, patting my hand again. “We can get plane tickets and leave first thing tomorrow, or we can wait a few days. We’ve been living in an apartment a few blocks from here; you can stay with us.”

  I hesitate, thinking of Nathan. My heart drops to the floor. She’s asking me when I want to leave. The thought of leaving makes my chest hurt. My parents died here. This is where I’ve been living since. I met Nathan here.

  This is the place I’ve hated for the last year. But it’s hard to imagine leaving it after everything that’s happened. “She’s staying with me tonight. She can leave with you tomorrow.” I look up to find Nathan standing in the doorway.

  Normally, I would have been angry with him for speaking for me. But, at this point, I’m drained and overwhelmed by all this. I need sleep. I need to let this sink in.

  He extends a hand out to me. I get up and take it, following him out the door with only a “goodbye” in my wake. They all look after me in astonishment as Nathan leads me out the door.

  He opens the passenger door for me when we reach the car, before going around to the driver’s side. The lights on the dashboard light up as the car roars to life. Nathan quickly pulls away from the curb and starts heading in the direction of his house. My heart drums against my chest as we sit in silence.

  My mind is racing as fast as my heart. I can hardly come to terms with what just happened. I take in a breath, trying to unscramble my thoughts and feelings. I just found my grandparents, and now they want to take me home—away from the place that has
taken and given me so much.

  I can’t keep a firm grip on how I feel about Paris. So much has happened here. My parents died here, but I also met Nathan here. I hate this place, yet I can’t let go.

  I glance at Nathan, but I don’t break the silence. I want to know what he’s thinking. His expression is blank, giving me no clue as to what could be going through his head.

  I can’t let him go.

  I’m staring up at the ceiling, unable to shake the jittery butterflies that are overflowing in my stomach. It feels like they’re close to bursting from my torso. Nathan knocks four times and waits a few seconds before coming in. He doesn’t say anything as he climbs into bed beside me.

  “I might leave tomorrow,” I say in a daze, barely believing my own words.

  His hand slips inside mine, sending tingles up my arm. I glance at him to find that he’s staring up at the ceiling too. “I know.”

  “I’m not sure I want to leave.”

  “You do. You just haven’t realized it. You need to go because it’s what you want.”

  I let out a shaky breath, telling myself not to cry. It is what I want. I have family! Someone was out there looking for me when I thought no one was.

  The thing I don’t want is to leave Nathan. I don’t want to be away from him.

  “I did—I do but—” I cut off, turning over and lying on my side so that I’m facing him. “I didn’t think that I would leave, ever, and now that I am…all I can think about is you.”

  He shifts so that he’s lying on his side too. He searches my eyes. Chills run down my back. His blue eyes are fierce with warm affection. It makes my heart flutter.

  He moves again, closer to me, pulling me in. He reaches over my hip and flattens his hand against the small of my back. An electric buzz shoots up my back from his touch. My lips part just before he brushes his against mine, softly. He pulls away after a few seconds, before brushing them over mine again.

  I’m wide awake and aware of every touch. I’m aware of the way his hand tightens into a fist against my back, clenching my shirt in his fingers. I wallow in the way his lips feel against mine. I almost sigh.

  He deepens the kiss, drinking me in, tugging me closer. I breathe him in, unable to get enough of him. He’s kissing me like…it’s the last time.

  My heart sinks and becomes overwhelmed with sorrow. I already miss him. I haven’t even left, but it feels like someone is squeezing my heart. I try to push the feeling back, not wanting to focus on what will happen tomorrow. His slow and gentle lips aren’t helping to push the thoughts to the back of my mind. I could practically taste the sadness on his lips.

  I reach out and grip his waist, deepening the kiss to take away the sadness that’s on his lips. He’s still for a moment, seeming surprised by my sudden kissing assault. I almost laugh at my thought but manage to swallow it.

  My hand releases the hold on his waist and slowly moves up until it’s tangled in his dark brown hair. He kisses me back with the same force, holding me with the same force.

  But then, he’s suddenly pulling away. He doesn’t jerk away; he just pulls away, slowly. I open my eyes, looking at him questioningly. He stares at me for a moment. I can see the wheels in his mind turning.

  I want to know what he’s thinking. I’m about to ask when he finally speaks. “You should probably get some sleep. You have a big day tomorrow.” My heart sinks at his words. I don’t want to close my eyes, because when I open them again, it will be tomorrow.

  He kisses my forehead before climbing out of bed. I watch him go, still clueless as to what he could be thinking about. Why is he leaving so suddenly? He looks back and flashes a smile before slipping out the door.

  I lie there, staring at the door he just walked out of.

  When I wake up, I reach out to search for him. I look up to find the bed empty. I sit up, glancing around the room before realizing Nathan hadn’t stayed with me last night. I wonder if he’s awake. I want to spend whatever time I have left here with him. My heart falls in my chest. I’m leaving today.

  I bolt from the bed and quickly dress before striding down the hallway to his room. I knock, hoping that he’s already awake. He doesn’t answer.

  I knock one more time before cracking the door open. I peek inside, hesitant, not wanting to barge in uninvited, but Nathan’s voice doesn’t assure me to come in. I push the door open a little more. “Nathan?”

  No answer comes, so I step inside. A few shirts cover the floor, along with a few crumbled up pieces of paper. His bed is unmade with the comforter hanging off the edge. It’s also empty.

  Where is he? Downstairs, maybe?

  I shut his bedroom door behind me as I head for the stairs. When I enter the kitchen, I find Nathan’s mom, but no Nathan. She’s standing at the sink, cleaning off a plate. She looks up when I pause at the doorway. She smiles as if she knows exactly what I’m doing. “He left early this morning, saying something about buying a lock.” She takes in my quizzical look with a laugh. “I didn’t understand it either, but that boy’s going to do what he’s going to do. You can call him if you’d like.”

  She gestures to the phone hanging on the wall. I press my lips together, too embarrassed to admit that I don’t know his number. That’s when I realized where he might have gone. Lock. “Oh, thank you, but I think I might know where he is.”

  I start to leave, but then stop, turning back. “Thanks for letting me stay these last few days, Mrs. Parker.”

  Taken aback, she stares at me in surprise for a second. I watch her reaction, wishing that I could have had more time to get to know her. When she regains her bearings, her bright smile returns.

  “Oh, not a problem, dear! It was wonderful having you. I’m glad we got things sorted out for you. Come by anytime!”

  I force a smile, knowing that I won’t be able to do that. “Thanks.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Heart Lock

  As soon as I reach The Lock Bridge, I spot him. He’s leaning over the railing, resting his arms on it as he leans forward. I watch him while he stares down at the water under the bridge. He’s holding something in his clasped hands that hover out over the water.

  I slowly make my way to him, keeping my eyes locked on him the whole time. My heart aches. It feels like it might melt, or break.

  I come up beside him, resting my arms on the railing too. He glances at me with a smile, but it doesn’t touch his eyes. I can tell he’s about to say something, but I speak before he can. “I couldn’t find you this morning. You disappeared.”

  “Sorry, I was going to ask you if you wanted to come with me, but you were still asleep, and I didn’t want to wake you.”

  I blink, trying to push back the sudden tears that are threatening to spill over. I suck in a breath that’s supposed to be calming. Instead, my heart feels closer to breaking. “I wouldn’t have cared. I—I don’t know how much more time I have with you.”

  I lose the fight. A single tear slips from my eye and rolls down my cheek. Nathan takes in a surprised breath, pushing away from the railing. He reaches for me. I take a step back. He stands there, his hand outstretched. “Taylor.” His voice is toned with clear surprise and bewilderment. “What’s wrong?”

  “You can’t seriously be asking me that.”

  His expression completely changes, and his eyes hold understanding. “We’ve talked about this already. You have to go.”

  My heart shatters. “Don’t you want me to stay?”

  Part of me wants him to talk me out of it—part of me wants to stay more than anything in the world. The other part of me knows he’s right; I have to go.

  His eyes widen, and he takes a step toward me, reaching for me again. I don’t know what to do. I want to feel his touch, but at the same time, I don’t. Because I know I won’t be able to feel his touch again. What if I’m taken from this place and never see him again? “Of course I want you to stay—”

  “Then why are you trying to—” He presses his fingers
against my lips.

  “Let me finish,” he says.

  He keeps his fingers against my mouth a moment longer, before letting them slide away. A tingling is left from his touch. “I want you to stay. It’s selfish, I know, but I don’t want you to go. I want to beg you to stay, even though I know you have to go.” He pauses, staring deep into my eyes. The bright desperation that swims in his eyes sends shivers through me. “I couldn’t stand to kiss you last night because I didn’t want that to be our last kiss. And I could hardly stand to sleep next to you when I knew you’d leave in the morning, so I left.” He takes in a breath as if working up the courage for something. “I didn’t want that to be the last time I kissed you—” He cups my cheek, stepping closer—“and I don’t want this to be the last time I kiss you either.”

  He leans forward, pressing his lips against mine. There’s nothing patient about the kiss. His lips are forceful, moving frantically against mine. His arms wrap around me, sliding down my back until reaching my waist. He tugs me closer with the arms he has encased around me.

  My heart is pounding fiercely against my chest. His breathing is quick. It’s as if we are trying to kiss the sadness away. I can still taste the sorrow on his lips, but it’s mild; nothing like it was last night. We are fixing each other, taking away each other’s sadness. Drinking it in and burying it deep within ourselves.

  I want to take in every drop of sadness and worry he has so that he won’t miss me.

  He pulls away, though not enough that his lips break contact. His lips graze over mine, sending the ever-so-familiar tingle through my body. I feel something else, too. It’s the unfamiliar, unnamable feeling from a few days ago. It’s a feeling I only seem to experience around Nathan.

  It’s a feeling I never want to stop having. It’s special. A secret, almost, that’s just between us.

  His lips make full contact with mine one last time, igniting the electric spark between us. He pulls away too soon. When he looks down at me, I can see that his eyes are brighter; less wallowed with gloom. He flashes one of his heart-stopping smiles, and it touches his eyes this time.